texts with my father

evan: wait, are you flirting with me?

jared: have been for the past seven years, but thanks for noticing

The Han Solo movie opens with a young Han on Tatooine. He steps into a ship and flies away. The camera pans to the middle of the desert. Somebody is walking. It’s Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan Kenobi. A bantha runs at him with a stick in its mouth, the bantha drops it at his feet. Obi Wan thanks the bantha and takes the stick. The entire movie is Obi Wan making animal/alien friends in Tatooine. Han Solo never returns. This is an Obi Wan Kenobi movie. It was an Obi Wan Kenobi movie all along.

Copycat AU

MariChat May 31st: CopyCat

(ao3)

Summary: Marinette has a phone stealing problem and Chat confronts her about it.


Marinette stood, phone in hand, in the boys’ locker room. “I can explain!” She blurted out.

Chat Noir stared at her.

She rushed to explain. “So, I recorded a really embarrassing voicemail right?” She gestured to the phone in her hand. “Alya said I should get it and delete it!” She said, he gave her an unimpressed look for selling out her friend.  She switched tactics to pleading. “Look, just… let me delete it. Please?” She looked at him imploringly. “Adrien, he’ll hate me if he hears it. So…” Marinette drooped. “Please?”

Chat blinked in surprise. “That’s M-Adrien Agreste’s phone?”

She nodded, a little bit of hope welling in her. “Yeah, he’s a friend and classmate of mine.” She looked at him and panicked. “I swear I’m not some fangirl or anything!”

He shook his head. “I know Marinette.” He considered her. “You shouldn’t have taken that from his locker.”

Marinette looked down at the ground in shame. “I know.” She said meekly.

“Look, Marinette, you’re a good person. Put the phone back in his locker and I won’t say anything. You can apologize for the voicemail later. He’ll forgive you.”

“How do you know that?” She asked quietly.

Chat frowned. “He’s got you for a friend right? Can’t be that bad of a guy.”

Marinette frowned back at him. “Of course he’s not a bad guy! He’s one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met!” She said hotly.

Chat smiled widely. “Then he won’t hate you for such a small thing, right?”

Marinette’s anger deflated. “Right.” She muttered and then blinked. “Right, Adrien would never hate someone for something so small.” She smiled.

She padded over to Adrien’s locker and hesitated for only a moment before putting the phone in and shutting it.

She turned to Chat. “So, what are you doing in here?” She looked at him suspiciously.

Chat gained a look of panic on his face and quickly looked at his wrist. “Oh my God! Look at the time gotta go bye Princess see you later!” The door slammed as he quickly left.

Marinette stared after him in confusion and Tikki came to float up next to her. “I think we need to go too, Marinette.” Tikki pointed a paw at the door.

“Right Tikki, let’s go home.” Marinette nodded. She’d have to think about Chat’s odd behavior once she got home.

Instead, she forgot all about it when they had to deal with an akuma.


After Marinette had dealt with Copycat she had headed home with a cloud of dread hanging over her. By now Adrien had no doubt heard her voicemail. She knew Chat was right about him not hating her, but he could definitely still reject her. Tikki assured her that rejection was a rather reasonable worst case scenario.

She spent the evening with her phone in hand. She compulsively checked her messages for any response and kept the volume on high just in case he called.

An hour after she normally went to bed Tikki had intervened and forced her to bed. “Just take the phone with you!” Tikki added. An hour or two of sitting in her bed and staring at her phone caused her Kwami to intervene again. “He’s probably already asleep and planning to talk to you in the morning.” She plucked the phone out of Marinette’s hands amid her tired protests. “Go. To. Sleep. Marinette.”

“Thanks for looking out for me.” She murmured as she fell asleep.


Fun fact, Marinette was not a morning person. For the first time this was actually a good thing as she had completely forgotten about her problems from the day before. It wasn’t until she was running into class, late again, that she locked eyes with Adrien and found her panic returning.

Adrien smiled angelically at her in greeting. She tried to smile back, but it was more of a grimace than anything else.

She sat down and resolved not to worry about Adrien’s reaction to her voicemail. He hadn’t mentioned it so maybe he deleted it before listening to it. She crossed her fingers and then focused on her teacher.

School went by quickly as she, for once, payed complete attention in all of her classes. She tried her best not to think about the voicemail and by the time class was ending she was starting to believe Adrien really hadn’t listened to it.

You know, until he turned around in his seat and asked if they could talk.

She told Alya she was going to stay for a minute and the girl gave her a comforting pat on the back. She supposed Alya was concerned because she could see the distress on her face. She told Alya it would be fine. She knew that Adrien didn’t hate her and that would have to be enough. Even if he did reject her.

Once everyone had left Adrien hopped over her and Alya’s desk. He leaned against the edge of the desk and turned his head towards her.

“So amazing.” She murmured. His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened. She blinked. “Did I say that out loud?” She squeaked out.

He laughed softly. “Yes Marinette, and thank you.” He grinned at her.

She shifted in her seat and turned to stare at her desk. It was really hard to look directly at him when he laughed and impossible when he grinned. Like looking into the sun.

“You… got my voicemail then?” She asked. Her voice was shaking and she didn’t even know how she was managing full sentences.

He nodded and beamed at her. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me, Marinette.”

She flushed all the way to the roots of her hair. “I-I um.”

“I’m really flattered.” He added his smile not dimming an inch.

Her heart slowly fell. “Your welcome.” She said softly. He really was too kind, rejecting her in such a nice way.

He brought his hand up to the back of his neck and scratched nervously. “So then,” He cleared his throat. “Do you want to go to the cinema Friday night?” He gave her a hopeful smile.

She stared at him in shock. She hadn’t planned for the best case scenario. “Like a date?” She held her breath until he nodded. “Yes! Of course I’d love to! When is the movie? Where do you want to meet? Do you want to meet my-”

“Marinette.” He cut her off gently and her mouth slammed shut. “How about we text about all that stuff later. If I don’t go soon my father will have at me.” He chuckled.

Marinette nodded rapidly. “Of course. Whatever you want, Adrien.”

After they had exchanged phone numbers and Adrien had left Marinette found herself slowly walking home with a goofy grin on her face. The grin didn’t fade even a bit as she did her homework and chores.

She finally got a hold of herself when Chat knocked lightly on the hatch to her room. She let him in and soon they were sharing a couple of cookies she had brought up for Tikki.

“Thanks for not telling Adrien about the phone thing.” She said gratefully. She took a bite from her cookie

Chat actually chuckled at that, a few crumbs falling from his mouth. “Not a problem.” He smirked. “Considering the look on your face I’m assuming Adrien wasn’t angry about the voicemail.”

She nodded the goofy grin taking up her whole face once more. “I can’t believe he asked me out.” The grin dropped off her face. “Oh no! What am I going to wear?” She was about to go into a panic when she heard Chat laugh.

She turned to him and pouted. “What’s so funny?”

He shook with laugher before smiling at her. “I think you’re cute and I’m sure whatever you’ll wear he’ll think so too.”

She blushed. “Um, thanks?” She couldn’t help but imitate Adrien from early by scratching at the back of her own neck in embarrassment.

Chat smiled. “No need to thank me. Just, can you do me one favor?” She nodded. He seemed almost nervous. “Try your best to have fun, okay?” He implored.

She smiled. “Of course. It’s Adrien after all.”

He flushed at her words and then smiled. “I got to get going.” He said and grabbed one last cookie. “Good luck with your date.” He said genuinely.

She grinned happily at him. “Thanks, I’m going to need it.”

He shook his head. “You’ll do fine.” He said confidently. “Thanks for the cookies!” He said as he left.

She waved goodbye and sighed. “Right.” She looked at her desk. “I have three days to make a sundress.” She cracked her knuckled with a smirk. “Let’s get to work.”

Tikki sighed form her hiding space. “Adrien won’t know what hit him.” She shook her tiny head and glanced at the hatch Chat had just left through. “Or maybe he will.” She smiled secretly.

Tikki looked down. “Wait. What happened to my cookies?!” She wailed.

Marinette looked at her apologetically. “Sorry, me and Chat ate them.”

Tikki fell face down onto the plate and moaned. “Noooooooooooo.” She groaned.

Marinette shook her head and smiled. She’d have to go get Tikki some more cookies soon. Chat had really enjoyed them as well. Maybe she should try to get him to come back for some more?

Humming happily at the idea, Marinette returned to sketching out the beginning of her dress.

♥ TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • [ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
  • [ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
  • [ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
  • [ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind
  • [ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.
  • [ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
  • [ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
  • [ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on
  • [ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.
  • [ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
  • [ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
  • [ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
  • [ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
  • [ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.
  • [ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
  • [ TEXT ] I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
  • [ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs
  • [ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
  • [ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
  • [ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
  • [ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
  • [ TEXT ] UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
  • [ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.
  • [ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
  • [ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.
  • [ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
  • [ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
  • [ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
  • [ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.
  • [ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
  • [ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
  • [ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
  • [ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
  • [ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?
  • [ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper
  • [ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
  • [ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
  • [ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
  • [ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
  • [ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
  • [ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”
  • [ TEXT ] I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
  • Baby: d-... d-... d-...
  • Dad: daddy? Are you trying to say daddy?
  • Baby: d-... d-... DRUM CORPS INTERNATIONAL PROUDLY PRESENTS...