Prompt: Day 5 - Success and Failure Author: Vavvaflo Rating: General audiences Warnings: A bit of angst (I’m sorry I didn’t mean it >.<) Summary: Rin comes back to Japan after six years of absence in order to find himself. An old acquaintance will help him to answer to his questions.
Day 5 - Success and Failure
The salty morning breeze scratched Rin’s cheeks arrogantly.
That morning he stood up with the usual bad mood. He almost got used to it. He decided to follow his routine: get up and go for a run on the beach. This time, he had extended the path of a few kilometers with the automatic attempt of outdo himself. He ran along the mountains behind Iwatobi, crossed the park and then headed to the beach - I need to relax my nerves, throw away - these ugly thoughts. And what better place to do it than before the sight of a sea stained of morning colors?
That’s why he was standing there now, on that rock, a little far from the beach in order - to avoid the tourists ready to spend their day on the shore -
It was eight o’clock and the air was still ruthlessly fresh. Rin wiped his wet, clearly red nose with the sweatshirt sleeve. He didn’t want to pick up a tissue. The vision of the pink nuances blend with the blue on the sea was dazzling and - fascinating - yes, maybe the right term was fascinating. The boy wiped his nose with his sleeve again, this time not because he needed it. It was rather an unconditional action: his romantic side never seemed to get down, even in the darkest moments. It came up, merely recalled by glimpses of reality that life surprisingly offered him.
Rin smiled slightly. Somehow, that thought made him feel a little better. Throw his moods away on the chaotic waves of the sea always helped him. He breathed deeply so as to accumulate the calm of that moment, hoping he could reload it and support it for the rest of the day. Then he got up, gave one last look to the extent of the sea, and finally turned. He decided to go home and get a nice and relaxing shower. He was thinking about getting back to the beach later, as long as Gou didn’t already have other plans. In the last few days, she insistently tried to convince him to go on a trip with her because “you need to take your mind off things”, as she used to repeat. The truth was that his sister was craving to spend some more time with her big brother, Rin could tell. - Maybe - he thought, - I should listen to her - It was not a bad idea to change air, especially after - what happened with Haru -
The thought of him came suddenly and yet, at the same time, inevitable, like the quicker heartbeat he felt immediately afterwards. The last events had definitely puzzled him. When Haru kissed him, he decided not to react. He let himself go, maybe because he was too frustrated with himself to react, or maybe just because he wanted it, too. After all, the dream he had the day before was perfectly clear. The memory of those sensations came back to his mind. Shivers crossed his spine, but Rin didn’t stop. He kept walking down the road, getting rid of the chills with a slight shrug.
- It doesn’t matter if I liked it, anyway. If he wanted, he would have given me a call -
That was true. After that time at the pool, Rin hadn’t seen the black-haired guy again. He had received no calls, no messages. Rin hadn’t even tried to reach him, though. He already had his career in mind, he couldn’t get distracted. Although, at the end of the day, that kiss was really something, right?
- Maybe it was - the words shaped into his mind with the same force as a wave that breaks onto the rocks. And in that exact moment, Rin had to stop, struck by the sight of the person who had in front of him. The other one stopped, too. The red-haired guy could read in his eyes his own surprise.
“Hey” managed to say Rin.
A sweaty, breathless Haruka stared at him hesitantly, a bit surprised, speechless, or maybe - that is the expression of a person who wouldn’t want to be here. It’s the expression of a person who’s wondering ‘why didn’t I turn on the previous corner?’ - Rin felt a little disappointed by that reaction, but he didn’t give up. He stared at Haruka, waiting for a move, a 'hello’, a smirk, - goddammit, something! Say something! -
- Better than nothing -
“I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Rin felt lucky. He didn’t have to get creative and start interesting conversations to encourage the black-haired guy to speak. Apparently, he was able to give the input on his own.
“This is the path I do when I go for a run” the red-haired guy replied.
Haruka nodded, and after a few seconds of silence added, “But you’re not running now.”
“Don’t you say?”
The black-haired guy looked away from the other, showing a bored expression. He wiped his forehead with his forearm and returned to his silence.
- Oh, it’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous -
“Haru, can we talk?” Rin asked him, impulsively.
Haruka looked back at him and, hesitantly, nodded.
They moved to the park, in a sheltered spot. The surrounding bushes and trees gave the impression of being isolated. - Maybe it’s not the best place where to talk - Rin thought, fearing that the black-haired guy would stew in his own funk. Rin would much rather avoid it because - I need answers. I need answers and he is the only one who can give them to me, so - Haruka’d better talk. Although the red-haired guy racked his brain, however, the other seemed calm. Rin would say almost at ease. He sighed to himself and thought - I will never get what’s going on inside his head -
There was a bench beside them, but neither of them seemed to feel like sitting down. Rin was about to start when Haruka surprisingly spoke first.
“How are you, Rin?”
The other didn’t know how to read the question, so this time he was the one to remain silent, waiting for some more tips from Haruka.
“Are you still thinking about your future?”
- What future? -
The red-haired guy grinned, “What do you think?”
Haruka looked away and neutrally stated, “You’re pondering too much.”
- And what the hell does it mean? - He snapped inside his head, but decided not to say anything, for now. Maybe Rin had misunderstood the meaning of the sentence, maybe Haruka didn’t really mean that the red-haired guy was worrying too much about his life going down. Or maybe Haruka did and, unconsciously, Rin didn’t want to believe it. However, he decided to give the black-haired guy another chance to explain himself better, trying to ignore the anger that flowed into his veins.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You should accept that offer.” he revealed, “It’s a great honor the fact that they have thought of you as a coach. They think highly of you, you’ve got a reputation, so- ”
“Bullshits” Rin exclaimed.
- Is Haru really lecturing me about my life? It can’t be, it can’t be seriously happening, it’s not…-
“Rin…” the other tried, but now the red-haired guy seemed impossible to stop.
“You can’t be serious. Haru, have you seen what I’ve reached? World Records, Olympics… ”
“I know, Rin. And you’ve been amazing, but you have to understand when it’s time to stop. ”
“My time has not come yet.”
“Yes, it has. But you can still give so much as a coach. ”
“Are you telling me to give up my success?”
“I’m telling you to earn more, by another way.”
“There is no other way.”
“There is. They are handing it over on a plate, but you are too stubborn to follow your way instead of holding on and considering some other possibilities. ”
“Considering other..? Haru…” Rin exclaimed, sniggering, “ Competition is my way, and it’ll always be. There are no other ways, no other possibilities.”
“Do you really think you will keep competing for the rest of your life?”
“I will do everything in my power to let it happen.”
Haruka made a face, and that was the - the last straw -
“What about you, huh?” the red-haired guy began, “How dare you pass judgements? Have you ever reached any of your goals? How can you understand the fear of losing success when you don’t even know what success means?”
The black-haired guy widened his eyes, incredulous at what he had just heard, and - what the fuck did I just say? - Rin was repeating to himself, but it was too late.
“You think you can tell me what to do with my life, when you gave in the only thing you could succeed on long time ago” - knock it off - “The truth is you have no idea what I’m going through, and you’ll never know.” - shut your mouth - “And maybe that’s why you talk. You want to control my results” - stop it before - “because, actually” - it’s too - “you’ve never achieved yours.” - late -
Haruka said nothing. Silence filled the space. Rin couldn’t tell how long it had been. It might be seconds, like might be minutes. It was enough to make him realize what he had spitted out, and he felt like shit.
- Fuck - he exclaimed inside - I’m a fucking idiot -
Under the clouds of a hostile sky, he put his hands in his pocket and left without saying a word, leaving behind the umpteenth failure of his life.
PLEASE DON’T HURT ME, IT’S NOT MY FAULT >________<
I needed the story to take this turn, but I promise that Rin will make it up to Haru <3
So, well….I hope you enjoyed it anyway.
I’m not a bad person, I swear .___.
As always, thank you to Natsumi. Your help is getting more and more precious *___*