texting ettiquette

archiveofourown.org
Powerless - Kyluxtrashpit (ApostateRevolutionary) - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

A fill for this prompt on @kyluxhardkinks:

“Kylo fantasizes about being taken HARD, but nobody he’s slept with has come close to being able to dom him exactly how he wants. Cue Hux with a Force-dampening collar, and a mild dose of sedatives. No A/B/O or noncon, please.”

Tbh this is my love letter to aggressive yet submissive Kylo Ren

Communication.

If you’re dating someone you don’t see often, what are your only ways of communicating? Texting, phone calls, webcamming, instant messaging, face timing, whatever. The only problem is that with everyone’s situation today they have to rely on texting and phone calls mostly. The worst kind of communication is texting. Why? Because it’s terrible at getting the entire message across to your partner. It causes misunderstandings, lack of appreciation. The reason is because one person in the relationship thinks that they can use short cuts and still get across the entire message. But what they don’t understand is that text messaging lacks everything possible involved with real communication. Where’s the facial expressions? The emotions? The feeling? You can never get any of that from texting. It’s the worst type of communication especially with a boyfriend or girlfriend, unless you know how to do it correctly. 

When you’re two different types of people it’s hard to understand each other through texting. Maybe one person prefers typing everything out never using short cuts. And the other person sees things differently, doesn’t have much time so they use as many short replies and short cuts as possible. But when they do that, they do not realize what the other person has to deal with since they do not have the same mindset. The person who doesn’t use short cuts sees literally everything differently through a text and read the message as how they would mean it when texting it to someone else. It’s hard for them to understand that this short reply equals two thought out paragraphs in the other person’s mind. 

The point is, when it comes to texting, everyone has a different way of reading messages. And whoever you date, you’re going to have to grow accustomed to the way they read them. And start adjusting to it otherwise you won’t have a good relationship. Especially long distance couples, they have to master this. 

Anyways, couples who like to call each other on the phone at night, or facetime or webcam whatever, they have it a little easier. In that form of communication at least they have the facial expressions, the tone of voice, everything that text messaging lacks. They have more insight on the feelings of the other person. Body language is everything, and even texting has it’s own body language.

Through texting, personally, a “hi” to me is like “go away I don’t want to talk to you” when it stands alone. And then “k” can mean “okay go fuck yourself” to me. And things like, “Love you” can mean “haha okay love you don’t really care” Of course the person who sends these messages may not mean what you think but it’s all in your mind and you can’t help what you think.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t rely on texting. It can easily ruin a relationship. The best way to avoid fights and bad communication is maybe calling the person more often or facetiming them. If you don’t have time, maybe try to learn texting etiquette. Because it’s important to realize the reality of texting and how harmful it is if it is used carelessly. Feelings get hurt, communication worsens and no good can come of it. So honestly think about a message before you send it and who you’re sending it to and what kind of message it will give them. 

Anyone else feel as if

The whole ace discourse thing is just because inclusionists and exclusionists never listen to each other, and then assume that we’re all on the same page. The easiest thing to cite is the definition of the LGBTQ+  community. Exclusionists seem to think that you become part of it based on how oppressed you are (and then promptly ignore aces’ and aros’ personal stories) and inclusionists believe that if you aren’t straight (which aces and aros are inherently not), you belong. Do you see the discrepancy here? It’s like playing a sport where the two teams have different scoring systems that have nothing to do with each other. 

And then we try to argue about the definition of the LGBTQ+ community, which is, in and of itself, a fruitless endeavor because inclusionists look at what it has come to represent (providing a safe space to people who are not straight) and exclusionists look at what it was (apparently) created to be, which is a community dedicated to fighting homophobia and transphobia (which is kinda the same thing but not according to exclusionists), and that just encounters the same problem.

I think the root of the problem is not actually listening to each other, but instead, oversimplifying each other’s arguments into something entirely different (i don’t wanna say exclusionists are the main culprits of this but…) and then we argue the fabricated points rather than the actual ones so nothing ever actually gets done. 

So what? (The question that is the bane of any high school student’s essay) Why should anyone care? Well, one, because this entire thing is dumb and also getting us nowhere fast, but also so that we can actually fix this issue. Basically, try to be less reactionary (I say, accidentally calling out REGs) and actually try to understand the point of the post, rather than what you initially think it means. Then, respond to those points with well thought out arguments in order to prove your claim (I sound like an English teacher every single time I write one of these posts, I swear). Just. Don’t be an asshole, k? Cool.