text version later!

  • Kija, while on a phone with Kaya: so... how many candles in each pack you say?
  • Cashier: Ten.
  • Kija: Okay, I'll need a hundred then. No, wait.
  • Kija, to the phone: Uh-huh.
  • Kija, to the cashier: Two hundred.
  • Cashier: Mkay...
  • Cashier: *putting a whole box of birthday cake candles on the counter* So how old is your friend again?
  • Kija and Jaeha, together: Seventeen.

drunk BTS snaps – (text version)

requests open;;

I have no idea where this came from.

In my twenties, my best friend was in her 30′s and seemed, aside from some charming idiosyncrasies, to know what she was about. When I got to the age she was when I met her and still felt like I was wearing a Competent Adult mask half the time, I was convinced it was because I was doing it wrong. When I hit 40, close to the age she was when she died, and still hadn’t settled into adulting, I thought maybe I had missed a crucial step and got ready for another few years of beating myself up for not “getting it.”

In the past couple of years I’ve had great talks with friends and family in their 50′s and 60′s and the one thing they agree on is that they all still feel like they’re wearing their Competent Adult masks. My mother said it best when she said what happened to her was that she just keep adding things on to her “Shit I’ve Already Dealt With Once So I Can Refer Back to That Experience”. The general consensus has been that the closest they’ve come to having all their shit together as adults is realizing that the concept itself is horseshit.

The other thing that came up over and over was the disservice we do each other by pretending like it’s not a mask. (Moms reading this will recognize it as similar to the disservice we do by pretending we’re totally perfect at this parenting thing.)  I have lots of lovely, sweet, kind, bright friends and followers in their teens, 20′s, and 30′s who might be embarking on (or in the middle of) some long years of internal beat-downs about not being good at this or not having it together or whatever your mental sock puppets say. It’s okay, at any age, to still not be a Competent Adult. You’re not doing it wrong. 

Some days I’m pretty clear on how to handle almost everything that comes my way, but not every day. Some days I’m petty, insecure, sad, not sure when the last time was I ate a vegetable, staring at a shitty note from the water supplier because I literally just *forgot* to pay the bill, irrationally affected by the opinion of a complete stranger in the grocery store/on the internet/in traffic, jealous of my that thing someone else got that I wanted, surprised by my period, or *still* mad at myself for not being a good grown-up. There might be someone who has ALL their shit together EVERY day, but it’s okay to not be that someone. So, in the interest of full disclosure…

What I’m pretty sure the general perception of me is: Quirky, sympathetic, supportive Team Mom, who totally has her shit together and absolutely remembered it was her week to bring Gatorade and orange slices. Laughs most shit off, rolls her eyes at the rest.

Actual reality: 

Equal parts