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but do you remember?

But do you remember the time she left you without saying goodbye, the time you
walked home in the rain for 10 miles until your heart gave out and legs
went sore so you called your father to come pick you up at 1AM nowhere near the
places you used to hang out at and when he asked you why you were soaking wet
you didn’t say a word to him, you just coughed and your voice cracked at the
first sight of giving an explanation so he just continued driving with his hand
shaking on the gear-shifter and your legs going numb in the passenger seat.


Θυμώνω με τον εαυτό μου όταν σε σκέφτομαι αλλά και όταν θυμάμαι πόσο ασχολήθηκα μαζί σου.
Δεν σου άξιζε όλη αυτή η προσοχή όσο κακιά και αν ακούγομαι.
Μπορούσα να έχω ζήσει τόσο διαφορετικά και όμως επέλεξα να είμαι μαζί σου. Μπορεί όχι κυριολεκτικά μαζί σου αλλά ένιωθα τόσο “μαζί σου”. Τελικά εσύ είχες πάντα κάποιον δίπλα σου, ενώ εγώ όχι.
Μα πως γίνεται; θα ρωτήσετε…
Όταν ο ένας ζει στο ψέμα και ο άλλος στην αλήθεια δεν μπορεί ποτέ να υπάρξει μία υγιής σχέση και επίσης δεν μπορεί ποτέ ούτε να αναπληρωθεί ο χρόνος που χάθηκε ούτε να σβηστούν τα ψέματα.
Μην προσπαθήσετε να τα σβήσετε.
Μένουν χαραγμένα στην μνήμη.
Αυτή αν θέλει, δεν ξεχνάει ποτέ.
Και στις δύσκολες στιγμές, πάντα θυμάσαι ξανά αυτά τα ψέματα.
Και αυτά δεν φεύγουν ποτέ.
Εκτός και αν προχωρήσετε.
Απλά προχωρήστε.
Δεν είναι ποτέ εύκολο.
Είναι όμως αυτό που λένε το “φως”.
Βγες από το σκοτάδι.
Σου αξίζει.

1. Go to a party and stay sober. Listen to the way your drunk classmates talk when they don’t plan to remember tonight when they wake up. Never talk about these experiences, just keep them for yourself.
2. Start driving in one direction on the highway after school one day, pretending like you’re running away. Blast bad pop music and sing along. Stop in the suburbs when your mom calls you to come home, but buy your little brother a cupcake before you turn back around.
3. Kiss your best friend. It doesn’t matter what sexuality or gender you are or they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or you escalate to tongue. You’ll laugh about it later, but it will always make you smile just for the memory.
4. Smoke a cigarette. Let it burn your throat. Cough, loudly.
5. Take a stand for something you believe in. When half your school laughs at you, take it with pride. Someone agrees, even if they’re too scared to say so.
6. Make enemies. Make the kind of mistakes that cause your life to implode. Lose everyone and everything to these mistakes. Only when you fall will you find out that you can pick yourself back up.
7. Sit on someone’s roof and talk for hours. Forget about dinner and tell your origin stories. Let your guard down while the dog barks below. Talk about god. Listen.
8. Steal Bourbon from your parents’ liquor cabinet and put it in a water bottle beneath your bathroom sink. Spike your tea with it when you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Pour the whole thing down the drain when it’s too strong for you.
9. Become a stereotype. Buy a record player and combat boots. Wear all black. Dye your hair bright blue and get your ear pierced three times. Don’t care when people laugh at you.
10. Make wishes at 11:11. Wear your pajamas backwards in the hopes of a snow day. Look for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Pretend writing things on your arms makes you special. Believe in anything. Believe in everything. Open every book and look around every corner. You’ll never look like this or move like this or think like this again. Enjoy it while it lasts or hate every second. But feel. Feel every damn thing.

Tell society no.
Demand respect.
Burn like the brightest fire you’ve ever seen.
Glow like the sun itself is burning beneath your skin.
For once be the opposite of graceful.

Don’t become “just a girl”,
Become a statement.

—  international women’s day