This one time i had hung out with this guy a grand total of 2 or 3 times and like literally the only thing he knew about me was that i thought six from battlestar galactica was hot when out of fckin nowhere his bff texts me to tell me what a nice guy he is. and i stg for the briefest of moments the sky opened up and i saw clear through to a parallel universe where such a text would make literally no sense and i could just respond with a confused “o…kay,” and then i snapped back into this world where i promptly dropped both their asses out of my life because who the FUCK needs to be prematurely scolded for rejecting some boring asshole who hasn’t even asked them out yet?
Anyway that was my all time fave time i got nice guy’d
so I don’t mind the concept of resident evil mutant zombies being introduced to metal gear. I hate that “it’s an alternate universe” has been used as an excuse but I mean…there’s no limits with konami. But…if you’re already using that excuse…..WHY OH WHY WOULDNT YOU USE CHARACTERS WE ALREdy KNOW AND LOVE!!!!!!!? LIKE!!!!! YEAH MAYBE YOU WANT TO ESTABLISH “NEW” CHARACTERS BUT!!!! THERES ALREADY JUST FUCKIN ZOMBIES. I wanna see ocelot headshotting zombies like a mother fuCKER. I wanna see Eli tearing down zombies with his CHILD FUCKING ARMY. I WANNA SEE BIG BOSS AND KAZ MOWING DOWN MOTHER FUCKERS AND THEN SEE AN ALTERNATE SCENARIO WHERE KAZ LOSES HIS LIMBS FROM ZOMBIES. LET KAZ KILL A ZOMBIE HUEY. FUCK IT MAKE BIG BOSS FORCED INTO killing The Boss AGAIN as a zombie. I dont care about continuity or timelines or anything anymore. JUST!!!!! GIVE THIS TO US!!!!! WE’d enjoy it so much more than Jim from HR finding obligatory strong female protagonist stabbing baby pyramid heads. I am….So Tired.
Lots of things on my mind this week that I haven’t quite had time to think on but I’ve encountered in a few other ways
• I’m always ruminating on what it means to be queer. I often feel like I’m not queer enough somehow, even though no one is keeping score. I think part of it has to do with being bi and not realizing it until I was 20 or so. And I think I am very straight passing to most people, which is frustrating when trying to build a queer community. I don’t want to change my outward appearance in order to ~signify things~ when it really just makes me feel like a poser. Last night, my BFF texted me because he was at a queer storytelling event in Austin and a girl there was talking about having this same problem. I guess it’s pretty ubiquitous.
• Being a woman! Is! Exhausting! I just finished reading a great linny fic that was very feminist in an anti-cis-het-man way that is really satisfying from time to time (and fucking rare in femslash). It described a lot of these feelings I constantly have with 100% accuracy.
• 25 is a strange, intermediary age. I always feel too young or too old and never just right. Visitors at my work don’t take me seriously because they think I’m a student, but I don’t want to overdress and feel like I’m over 30 when I’m really closer in age to the college kids surrounding me. I don’t want to force myself to grow up so fast just to please these weird old men who have no concept of a woman’s age if she was born over a decade later than them, and I also want college boys to stop hitting on me, but I also want to keep wearing short dresses and skimpy jumpsuits from Urban Outfitters that are probably made for 18 year olds but modeled by women my age. I don’t know where I fit or where I’m supposed to be. I thought 25 was an exciting age, and it is in some ways, in some places, but mostly it’s full of dissonance.