text from crush

My friend asked me how I got over him. I tell you my friend, I don’t know. I don’t know how I stopped missing him. I suppose it became easier when we stopped talking to each other everyday. It became easier when everything just stopped.
—  I feel numb from all of this
If he can make you laugh and forget how awful your day was, don’t let him go. If he can make your heart explode with nothing but a smile, don’t let him go. If he clouds your mind with happy thoughts and daydreams, don’t let him go. If he can calm you down, not just with his words, but with the sound of his voice, don’t let him go. If he sends tingles up your arm when you brush hands, don’t let him go. If he would do anything to make you happy, don’t let him go, even for a second. Love can slip through our fingers as easily as gravel in the wind, and if you let it go, there’s no guarantee it’ll come back. So fall in love and hold on tight, because when you find the person you want to be with forever and ever and ever, holding on can’t be an obligation, it has to be a choice. But when you’re with the right person, it should be the easiest choice you’ll ever make.
—  Never Ever Let Go
I look at you and there are so many things I want to tell you that it physically hurts. I start to tense up, dare I say sweat a little, and my heartbeat quickens its pace tenfold. All of a sudden I freeze. I can’t move. I can’t hold your gaze. I can’t smile at you. I can’t talk to you at all. And I don’t think that that’s how it’s suppose to feel. If we were meant to be something, I want to believe that it wouldn’t be this difficult. One of us would find the courage to do something. But I can’t seem to, and you never have.
—  11:00PM// I want to know you, I have to
I didn’t know what I was trying to find by reading your text messages again.
—  Maybe I was lost in translating your words. Hoping that there would be something I could hold on to. 
  • Akutagawa: I would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my boyfriend (Atsushi).
  • Dazai: I would really appreciate it if you would stop cockblocking me.
I put my full weight, heart, and soul into loving you. I’m afraid to admit that you were never much for heavy lifting.
—  10:12PM// the gym for broken hearts
I love him for the little laugh in the back of his throat he does when he reads something funny. I love him for the way he smiles so big you can never see his eyes in pictures. I love him for the way his shoulders move side to side when he walks. I love him for the way he sometimes doesn’t get my jokes, but laughs anyway to make me feel better. I love that when I do something silly, he’ll laugh with me and not at me. I love that I can talk about whatever for as long as I need and he’ll patiently listen to me until I feel better. I love that he always asks me what’s wrong again when I tell him once, “I’m fine.” I love him because I smile when little words and phrases he uses slowly slip into my vocabulary and I all of a sudden find myself using them, no matter how annoying they are. I love him because he changed my endless string of bad days into a blur of laughter and smiles and happiness. He made the sun shine when it was raining and I’ve never me anyone else who could do that. So, yes, I love him, and this is why.
—  Why Do You Love Him?
  • Akutagawa: What's wrong with the way I dress?
  • Atsushi: You know, some people might say all that black leather makes you look like an evil villain.
  • Akutagawa: [gives Atsushi a death glare]
  • Atsushi: ...Not me, I think you look like a sexy motorcycle.
There’s a new boy in my class. A new boy who sits in the back. A new boy to look at and admire from afar. A new boy with dark brown hair and brooding eyes. A new boy with that signature smirk plastered on his face as he scans my body up and down. A new boy to possibly talk to and fall in love with.
—  a new boy // 10:52pm
Lately you’ve been on my mind. I’ve memorized the way you look when you smile, that goofy and adorable half-smile of yours, never showing any teeth because hey, you’re a boy, and boys don’t show emotion, right? or so I’ve been told. I’ve imagined sitting with you on a clear night gazing at the stars and making pointless wishes on shooting stars because secretly, my wish was you, and in my perfect dream, that wish came true. I can still feel the tingles that rushed through my body when I saw you this morning, remember my smile getting so big, animated and cartoon-like because the thought of you makes me unbelievably happy. So, yes, I’ve been trying to move on with my life, but lately, you are my life.
—  9:55PM// I’m already too invested in you, this unrequited love
All I want is a peace of mind. I know you don’t owe me anything but I deserve an answer, an explanation or closure of what happened between us. Where is your decency? I genuinely thought you’re better than that.
—  Excerpts from a story I’ll never write 
  • Licht: [About Hyde] What a weirdo. I can't believe I'm going to make out with him.
  • Mahiru: Well... you don't have to.
  • Licht: Nah, I'm gonna.