text and i are not friends at all

anonymous asked:

FUCK COWORKERS one of my "best friends", last minute came back after not working there for a year, stole my manager position, doesn't help us do anything, sits on her ass texting all shift long, flirts with every male coworker, leaves early, and Friday told me she might give me her opening shifts for sat and sun even tho I already was working so she could go tailgating and get drunk with her ex bf like bitch you're a manager fucking act like it. Don't call off less than 12 hours before

dandingdanty  asked:

I love your texts!! Can write about Alex scared of a storm and the Hamilsquad tried to calm him down? Especially Laurens? And also sorry for my bad english.

Laurens: Alexander are you okay?

Alexander: Yes.

*thunder and lightning strikes*

Alexander: Ah! No!

Laurens: *sits besides Alexander* Are you afraid of thunderstorms?

Alexander: Yes… I just hate the sound of thunder it reminds me of the time when I lived in the Caribbean.

Laurens: *kisses Alexander on the cheek* It’ll be okay.

Alexander: Will you all stay with me?

Hercules/Lafayette: *sit beside Alexander*

Hercules: Of course we will, that what friends are for.

Laurens: *hugs Alexander* I’ll always be here to comfort you.

Alexander: *smiles*

“It isn’t clear from any text of ‘Hamlet’ that Hamlet and Horatio are close friends before Hamlet sees the ghost, the lines can be interpreted [that] Hamlet fails to remember him at all.”

I’m crying. Imagine. Horatio just turns up, doing his duty, there for the wedding/funeral. And Hamlet’s just like “who the hell are you? Oh well. You’re my best friend now.”

And then he’s stuck there as everything falls apart.

things that were so fucked up about tumblr that i feel like nobody ever mentions

  • to reblog a post you had to scroll all the way back to the top of the post. the reblog button was at the top. who made that decision
  • messaging didn’t exist so you had to send asks back and forth to a friend until you hit ask limit. then you had to send fanmail (which itself was a stupid fucking feature???) or you would like. go on omegle and make a weirdly specific tag so only you and your friend would connect to each other. like the fucking hoops you had to jump through to use this site were ridiculous
  • you couldn’t reblog your own posts so you’d have to reblog it from a side blog then re-reblog it to your actual main blog
  • just uhhh the whole thing where comments on posts became long threads and you couldn’t tell which person made which comment. then people flipped when they changed posts to look the way they do now even though it makes way more sense. like this isn’t reddit

there are surely more but this is all thats coming to mind right now

Apples // Zach

(1,307 words)

a/n: Happy One Month of Fall 😂💖 (also this is v choppy so pls don’t kill me bc it’s terrible ily all so much)

“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes”

 The text on my phone reads. My heart flutters happily, excited for my boyfriend’s arrival.

“Okie dokie! ❤ see you later, Zach”

“C’ya 💘”

I skip happily to my bathroom to dry my wet hair. I picked up the blow dryer and ran my fingers through my hair as the warm air hit. I smile, remembering the time when he allowed me to tightly curl his hair for fun. We joked about how he looked like Jack and he spent the night mocking his very best friend lovingly. It had been late summer then but the leaves on the green trees showed their warm colors as the air became more chilly. Autumn had arrived and it was my favorite time of the year. Luckily, Zach’s band had gone on a season-long break after their very long summer tour and I was super excited to spend three whole months with my darling.

After blow drying my hair and loosely curling it, I choose my outfit carefully. I decided to go with a yellow knit sweater, maroon skirt with little dodie tinted flowers sprinkled around, dark leggings and tall brown boots. I pull on my shoes and my phone echos a satisfying ‘ding!’ and I inspected the notification. Another text from Zach:

”Are you ready? I’m on my way”

”Yep, I just need to put on some make-up and I’ll be good to go (:”

”Okay, I’ll see you soon, then.”

”Alright ❤”

I plug my phone in, making sure it’s fully charged so that it would be ready for cute candid pictures that I would randomly take of Zachary. I am a photographer, either way.

Walking back into the bathroom, I gather my makeup supplies and start applying it to my face it to my face lightly. Just as I’m about to finish up my eyebrows, I hear a soft knock on the front door of my Los Angeles condo. I pack everything up and off my counter then grab the belongings that I would need for the day out. I sling my handbag across my torso, slipping my phone in at the same time and search through my closet very quickly for the last thing I needed.

I pulled the warm charcoal colored scarf around my neck and adjusted my hair to fall around my shoulders. Ready to go, I open the door up and see a group of field flowers wrapped in paper bag material, held together awkwardly by a string of twine tied towards the bottom of the bunch. Zach finally notices me and my heart melts at the sight of his warm hazel eyes, “Hey.”

“Hi,” I hug him tightly, breathing in his sugary aroma, “You baked cookies again, didn’t you?”

“How’d you know?” He laughs.

“You smell like the vanilla extract you use.”

“Is that a good thing?” He pulls me closer to his chest, his jean jacket rubbing against my cheek.

“Uhh… yeah! You’re surprisingly good at baking, it’s a little bit scary, babe.”

“Is it, now?” He gazes at me warmly, his soft eyelashes dancing around with his blinks. I nod and he kisses me slowly. Our lips disconnect and Zach leans his forehead on mine, “Thank you, babygirl.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d give you compliments all afternoon long, but we have a date to go on and we’re wasting valuable daylight, considering the days are shorter because of the time jump from last Tuesday.” I giggle. I have a tendency to just spill facts about whatever the conversation topic is about if I’m happy or excited.

“How are you so adorable, (y/n)? You’re such a bright little star.” Zach pulls me in for a hug. ‘Star’ was a nickname that my boyfriend of 10 months gave to me after our first kiss. I remember pulling away from Zach’s lips and observing the twinkling stars in his eyes.

“Every star in the sky is a sun. Besides our sun, the closest star to us is hundreds of thousands of light years away from our solar system.”

He laughed, “What?”

“I-I’m sorry… I just blurt weird things when I-”

“When you’re happy?”

“Yeah,” I smile shyly.

He grins, “You’re as bright and beautiful as a star, that’s a fact I can state.”

I blush and he places a hand on my cheek, embracing the warmth in my face, “You are a star.”

“Remember when I first told you that was falling for you?” Zach’s fingers fidget with the rings on mine, our hands wrapped around each other’s.

“Yep,” I giggle, “When you took me to eat pizza and I accidentally flung a pepperoni at you.”

“Mhm,” He chuckles. We walk to his car and climb in.

“So where are we going?” I ask.

“Remember my uncle’s friend that lives near Torrance?”

“What about him?”

“He owns an apple farm and I was going to ask if you would want to go hang out over there,”

“An apple farm, huh?” I think the idea through, “As long as we have apple pie afterward.”

He interlaces our fingers as he turns the car on, “And apple tarts and apple cider - anything to make you happy.”

“Hey, Zachary!” Mr. Alonzo smiles, sticking his hand out for my boyfriend to shake it.

“Hello, Bryan,” Zach takes his hand, “This is my girlfriend, (y/n).”

Mr. Alonzo smiles and waves. I wave back awkwardly.

“Well, you’re here to explore the orchard, aren’t you?” He asks.

“Yes, sir,” Zach says, slipping his hand into mine and squeezing it lovingly.

“Then, go ahead! You guys can pick off as many apples as you’d like.” He smiles.

“Okay,” Zach pulls at my hand, waving goodbye to Bryan and leading me towards the trees flowering with crisp red apples.

His long fingers rub smoothly against mine as we walk along the rows of apple trees.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Zach whispers when we’re far enough into the orchard where no one can hear us.

“Mhm,” I look over to him. His white scarf contrasts his cheeks and makes them look an even deeper red than they already were from the cold.

“It’ll never overpass your beauty, though. Nothing can, (y/n).” He says, his eyes still on the trees.

I lean over his shoulders and kiss his cheek softly. When I pull away, I realize that I’ve left a bit of residue from my maroon lip stain. I giggle and reach my arm out to wipe it off but he stops me.

“I’m not 6,” He rolls his eyes dramatically and kisses my nose. He grabs a piece of his white scarf and starts to rub at the mark.


“I’m an independent 16-year-old, (y/n), I know what I’m doing.”


“Don’t worry, honey.”

“Look at your scarf, Zach.” I snicker.

He looks down, making a small double chin in the process, and sees the colorful swipe on his clothes. He looks up with an embarrassed face.

“Independent 16-year-old… I know what I’m doing.” I mock playfully.

“Hey, shut up,” He desperately tries to get the stain off but only smothers it deeper into the cloth.

I laugh at his terrible actions, “You are very dumb but I love you more than anything on this planet.”

“Thankfully you’re here to keep me from doing more stupid stuff than I already do.” He grins and caresses my face with his soft hand. He pecks my forehead but he stops mid-kiss and gasps.

“What?” I chuckle.

“I just got an idea - I’m gonna climb the tree.”

“I thought we had just agreed on you not being a stupid 6 year old and doing unwise actions.”

“I know, it’s just… it looks fun.” He mumbles.

“Knock yourself out.” I sigh. I can’t stop this reckless child whom I love.

i was just reading a fic and the weird 60-year-old owner of the pizza pizza im at rn came over and looked at all the text on my phone screen and was like “anything interesting?” and i was like “no” and quickly exited out

and he was like “oh so it is interesting! you lied to me!” and he started guessing about who was “texting” me and what it was about, like “it’s your boyfriend, and he says he wants to move things to the next level. or it’s your best friend, and her boyfriend dumped her” and im like uhhh no neither of those

but i wouldnt give it up so i had to invent this whole drama and detailed backstory, and he kept asking questions about it. like GO AWAY i am begging

I honestly can’t stop imagining Bill getting you pregnant. Like think about how soft, sweet, and excited he’d be? Holding your hair when you have morning sickness…… and buying food for you when you’re having cravings. Reminding you that you look beautiful not matter how big you get and excitedly showing all his friends the ultrasound pictures.

Hey guys…

Sorry to be such a downer but I’m gonna be off tumblr for a while, maybe 2-3 days…I’ve just been going through a lot and I just woke up to a text from my best friend telling me she doesn’t want to be friends anymore so I’m not feeling like myself at all…i will still be checking my messages from time to time but if you want my snapchat/number, send me a message and I’ll be happy to give it to you..Thank you guys and I’m sorry..

Do you ever wonder what’s wrong with your day?

Because I do and then all of a sudden everything makes sense and comes into perfect alignment. Dreams, love, truth? The universe? Stars above, devastation below? Angels and demons, work to complete, chaos to bring? Good friends, amazing time and real hardships? Contemplating no worries and fighting back against this tragic world, no matter the cost? Something like that?

Yes. It makes a lot of sense. This makes you experience the ecstasy of everything you wish for. These are times when we feel truly alive. :)

im just thinking of all my friends i had in high school that i dont talk to anymore and like i miss them so much but i cant just text them and be like whats up home slice  because they dont miss me they all moved on with their life and made better friends and are doing better stuff with their life than i am

please tell me i’m not the only person on earth rn bc my boyfriend knew i was coming but i’ve been sitting outside his house for 30 minutes calling and knocking and no one is answering the door and he’s reading my messages and not responding and none of my friends are texting me back and no one is walking by anymore except a man carrying identical chairs back and forth and i feel very unreal and alone and i’m dead in purgatory for all i know

If I am splitting on you, have split on you, or split on you in the future:

1. I’m sorry
2. I’m fighting it as hard as I can, I promise you
3. Please be patient with me; please give me a chance
4. I love and appreciate you more than you know, even if I cannot express it in a given moment

So my friends getting his leg amputated today, and he’s texting me and he goes “This sucks! I’m losing all my tattoos.”

I’m like “That’s what you’re worried about? What about your leg?”

He goes “I DIDN’T PAY FOR MY LEG!!!”


never thought i’d make an Angst ™ comic starring tome, yet here i am. 

damn u ONE…..ur good