A few? Years? Ago I made a joke post here about finally getting a “girlfriend” then posting a picture of a Sailor Moon body pillow. Anyway a couple of people messaged me saying while they got the joke, for a split second they were happy for me before they saw the photo, lmao. So, on that note, for anyone interested:
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 7 months now and my partner finally had the opportunity to come and see me down here, so we’re spending a week together across Valentine’s Day. I really, really love them and they love me and that’s the first time I’ve been able to really say that about someone (romantically). I never thought I could be this happy and comfortable with someone. I am very content!! They are wonderful person, a beautiful person, and a very skilled and hardworking person. They help make me better and I’d do anything for e’m
so send them lots of good vibes!
I hope you have a good Valentine’s Day if you partake and a relaxing weekend Sunday if you don’t. It’s a good time (as is any) to reflect on your Sailor Moon OTPs and the fluffy, gooey goodness that binds them together.
It’s been 23 hours and 26 minutes since you last texted me. I wasn’t counting, but I realized that we’ve been growing apart. We don’t talk anymore, we don’t make jokes anymore, we don’t even text anymore. I know you’re probably busy, but I don’t know, I felt that maybe we had something. Maybe there was something. But whatever it was, it’s gone now.
they ask you about being a student and this is what it’s like: you get home from school feeling more exhausted than you did yesterday but not as exhausted as you’ll feel tomorrow and that’s just how it is. that’s how things go and you walk through the front door and you trudge up the stairs like you do every day and think maybe today you’ll take all those pills you’ve got hidden in the bathroom but then you remember you have four important tests tomorrow so that means killing yourself is not an option for today or maybe that means it’s more of an option but before you can figure that out you’ve already walked past the bathroom so there’s no point in walking back. might as well stay in your room and study.
it’s not like your physical or mental health even matters, you don’t even question anymore if it does. you’re too busy maintaining your gpa and writing scholarship essays and running two different clubs and participating in sports and band and choir or whatever else it is and you know that these activities are supposed to be fun, they’re supposed to be what you like, but nowadays they feel more like an obligation because colleges won’t consider you if all you have is good grades. no, that’s not enough, and you can’t help feeling that everything else isn’t enough either. you are not enough and you cry and cry but then stop crying when the headache occurs because how are you going to be productive while you have a headache?
anyways nothing is about you anymore, not really. you either don’t have time for activities you enjoy or said activities are no longer enjoyable because everything is an obligation now. that’s just how it is, and every single day you fulfill every single obligation, feeling more and more like you’re preparing for a future when that’s really the opposite of what you want.
but then again if you don’t have a future, if that future ends today, you won’t fulfill all your obligations tomorrow and maybe that’s a good thing but maybe it’s not, so you just keep living out of pure indecisiveness.
school may have taught you many things, but how to keep living was not one of them. it didn’t teach you how to be happy or how to love yourself and even though you were self-taught many scientific theories and ideas, things like happiness and self-love were not concepts you could ever fully comprehend on your own so nowadays you don’t even try to and oh why are you still here, this is not a productive usage of your time, you have four important tests tomorrow and those should come before everything else.