tested recipes

  • Chocobros: *loses Ignis in the crowd* shit
  • Noctis: Don't worry I got this *shouts* LEIDEN POTATOES!!
  • Ignis: *comes rushing trough the crowd* Thats it! I have come up with a new recipe!
  • Noctis: found him
My Father, the YouTube Star
I always knew my father loved food. I just didn’t know he’d been showing hundreds of thousands of people how to cook it.
By Kevin Pang

My dad makes enough in each month’s ad revenues to take my mom out for a nice lunch. Making the clips is a lot of work. The two of them test each recipe a half-dozen times before committing it to film. Dad is behind the camera and editing the footage; it’s usually my mom’s hands demonstrating. They don’t speak in the videos. They say they’re embarrassed by their spoken English and feel more comfortable using onscreen text, in Chinese and English, for instruction. Writing and translating this adds several more hours of work.

“Why?” I asked during one of our weekly phone conversations. “Do you want a show on the Food Network or something?”

“You really want to know?” my dad asked in Chinese. “Your mom’s great-grandmother used to cook amazing Shanghainese food for her. She would dream about it. But when your mom was finally old enough to ask for the recipes, her great-grandmother had already developed dementia. She couldn’t even remember cooking those dishes. The only thing your mom had left was the memory of her taste. We’re afraid that if you wanted to eat your childhood dishes, and one day we’re both no longer around, you wouldn’t know how to cook it.”

Imagine Mulder asking Scully if she has any plans for Christmas.

Imagine her saying Bill invited her but she doesn’t really feel like it. Mulder takes it as a “I might come over”. He spends the next month learning how to perfectly cook a whole turkey for two. He tests three recipes of mince pies and walnut cake. For Christmas Eve, he buys French wine and champagne and prepares eggnog. He spends a week looking for the nicest tree in the neighbouring forest and finds The One which he cuts down on a Sunday afternoon before dragging it back to the house. She wonders why he looks in pain the next day.

On The Night, the table is already set by 5pm, her present under the tree. He tries not to think about how he may have read too much into her hesitation, how perhaps Tad O'Malley invited her to a DC socialites and politics dinner party and she agreed from lack of better, more promising plans. He tries not to stand near the window and watch the gates. It’s 9pm and he started the whisky he only intended to open with her at midnight. He feels like a fool, he now firmly believes he has disappointed her too much before for a Christmas miracle to save him. He imagines a car door slamming shut and footsteps on the porch. There’s a knock. He gets up anyway to check. She’s here, wearing a black dress, pink cheeks and a Rudolph nose, a gift bag in her hand. “Pace yourself with that drink or you’ll never be awake to open your present” is all she says before stepping inside.


Hello from Los Angeles, a city where it rains every day! For real—it’s rained almost daily for the past week, and I couldn’t be happier. We need this moisture so badly, so desperately that it would take a few months of regular rain to even begin thinking about saying things like, “This rain is great for the drought,” and “Let’s take a long hot bath (not together, tho)”. I’m loving every minute of it, despite the fact that I’m also running around like a maniac finishing up holiday gifts—most of which are actually very belated thank yous to the crew that helped test recipes for the Kale & Caramel cookbook. I’m also getting over a cold and generally feeling so, so exhausted. All I want to do is cuddle up with a bowl of soup and a blanket and have the people I love tell me stories and rub my back*. Is that so much to ask? (*ALSO WORLD PEACE.)

To fulfill at least one small part of that fantasy, I made this earthy, delicious cream of shiitake mushroom and caramelized leek soup from Jennifer Farley’s new book The Gourmet Kitchen. The book feels like one you can truly rely on—that book you can pick up when you’re looking to make just about anything, and it’ll have your answer. I came in search of a wintery soup, and a wintery soup I found.

Read more and get the recipe (and the giving guide) here!


Vegan and gluten free dinner and dessert last night. Roasted chickpea pasta with a caper lemon “butter” sauce and brownies with cream cheese icing.

The more I’ve tested recipes, the more I’ve realized eating animal free is more delicious than I thought. Plus I lost a few pounds without even trying. Bring on the brownies!

Thursday lunch is a bowl full of goodies! Roast sweet potato chips, roast brocolli, zuchinni noodles, green beans, tuna and avocado! Taught 2 classes at southport sharks gym and one at world gym this morning, trained my mum and tested out another recipe for the ebook! Coming soon!!! I’m off to go get a massage in an hour… And I don’t mean a relaxing one, I mean a more painful one using pressure points and other techniques to reduce muscle tension, promote flexibility and prevent injury! Wish me luck! 😂😂😂 hope you’re all having a great day x


It is my hope, as I approach the twilight of my years, or at least the afternoon tea, that some of this information will be of use to those people who look on me as a beacon of rectitude an’ knowledge.

I have tested the recipes and hardly any of them make you throw up.  As for the etiquette, well, I have done my best.  Life is full of little tricks and if you’re allowed to go around again, well, they don’t let you take the notes you made the first time.  I hope my efforts will provide you with a sketch map.

But really, etiquette is a state of mind.  You never know what tomorrow will bring.  It might hold a problem no one has yet had to face.  So therefore you need to get your mind right for when you venture into areas where no book is going to help you.  Remember: someone had to be the first person in the world to eat an oyster.

In that case, my advice is to try a nice open smile, although this admittedly won’t get you far with shellfish.  I do find it gets me out of trouble with people nine times out of ten, and even if it does get me into trouble it’s generally int'resting trouble and leads to warm memories.  You couldn’t buy them for money.

Gytha Ogg
Tir Nani Ogg, The Square, Lancre

–Terry Pratchett, “Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook”


Ocean: Ah so glad you came! I really wanted to test out those new recipes for work. 

Roosje: So we’re like test subjects. 

Ocean: I’d prefer the term taste testers. Did you bring your brother, Sushi? 

Roosje: Yeah…. I brought my brother… Sushi. 

Ocean: Weird how your parents named him after food, right? 

Roosje: So weird. 

Easy Stovetop Macaroni & Cheese

For @levynite, from the America’s Test Kitchen “How Can It Be Gluten-Free Cookbook.”

Serves 4 (Halves easily)

  • 12 ounces GF macaroni
  • Salt & Pepper
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 12-oz can evaporated milk
  • ½ teaspoon dry mustard dissolved in 1 teaspoon water
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 12 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, shredded 
  • Pinch cayenne pepper

Bring 4 quarts water to boil in large pot.  Stir in pasta and 1 tablespoon salt and cook, stirring often, until pasta is al dente.  Meanwhile, whisk eggs, half of evaporated milk, mustard mixture, and ¼ teaspoon salt together in bowl.

Drain pasta and return it to pot.  Add butter and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until melted.  Stir in egg mixture, half of cheese, and cayenne.  Cook, gradually stirring in remaining milk and cheese, until mixture is hot and creamy, about 5 minutes.

Let mixture sit off-heat until sauce has thickened slightly, 2 to 5 minutes.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Serve.

1. I’ve used a mix of different cheeses before and been fine.

2. I generally leave out the mustard, because it kind of overpowers everything and I feel like I’m eating macaroni and mustard, not macaroni and cheese.

3. Evaporated milk and sweetened condensed milk are not the same thing.


seokjin’s the pastry chef who works at the new bakery on fifth street and every day he sees this one high school kid walking home staring at the window display with the hungriest look in his eye and you know the kid’s kind of cute so one day when seokjin sees him practically salivating over the new cheesecakes, seokjin grabs a batch of some test recipes he’s working on and gives them to the kid for free on the condition that he lets seokjin know if they’re any good, or how jeon jungkook becomes seokjin’s personal taste tester and also how kim seokjin accidentally gets a giant human puppy