terribleclaw

thsi a fanfiction:

one day my name was chelsea and i woke up and i was suddenly really sexy. but then i realised im always really sexy. i got out of bed and i got a bowl of sexy cereal.

i didnt spill any milk or dribble down my sexy chin because that wouldnt be sexy enough.

i licked my bowl clean seductively and turned on my computer. when i got online i sexily greeted my sexy girlfriend laura. it was sexy. we had a nice pleasant chat and then suddenly i felt kind of funny.

“laura somethings happening to me” i said.

“are you going to fart” she replied.

“no i m mjkgfk ”?d’“F”

“what”

“ioMAM KFITURsoanadiodns”

“are you ok”

“..f.fp;a”

“chelsea”

it was the stuff of many furry artists’ erotic dreams. i knew it had to happen eventually, but i thought it was supposed to be on my 20th birthday, just like my ancestors, but my birthday wasn’t until august. this was the middle of march.

i found myself covered in feathers. i took my pants off because i felt particularly sexy at the moment, and was surprised to see my scales covering my legs. i felt a sudden urge to walk around on tippy toez, and my arms felt funny. two of my fingers had disappeared and the rest were becoming long and clawed. primary feathers began to grow from my second digits. i grew wings. i found this all very sexy. if laura knew she would have found it sexy too. there was one particular thing i was anticipating, though, and i waited impatiently as my face stretched out to form a snout and my teeth became sharp and serrated. that was pretty sexy, but i was still waiting.

finally, it happened. my legs were pleasantly birdlike and…

i raised my second toes in joy. a large, sickle-shaped claw jutted from each. it was finished.

i was a deinonychus.

i was sexy.