terrible scourge of kitchens

Oh fruit fly. You seem to start as one but no matter how many times the trash is removed, the wine glasses washed, the drain BLEACHED it’s like you multiply minute by minute. I literally cried in my kitchen this week, feeling overwhelmed, half mad and helpless. Way to make a girl who loves to cook run screaming from her kitchen.

I turned to stalking them. Slapping at them on the sink. Clapping at random throughout the apartment.

At one point I trapped a bunch under a metal mixing bowl when they’d gathered at my Trojan glass of balsamic. I, of course, had no idea what to do then so I stacked a cookbook on top and waited them out. After a day, I thought I’d insure myself and took to blowing my hairdryer on the bowl at it’s highest setting. Burn, baby, burn.

But they are resilient little shits. And when I lifted the bowl just a bit…just to see..5 or 6 came flying out. And I cried again. Because my mom was coming. And I did not get my furniture washed, house cleaned, drain bleached and sheets changed to have a fruit fly infestation intrude on coffee or wine.

So I took to Google. And goodnight, something has worked.

CURE FOR FRUIT FLIES: This morning I filled an jar with a little white wine and some coriander seeds. Then laid plastic wrap taut across the top and secured it tightly with a rubber band. Poked several holes in the plastic wrap with a fork. Not too big but big enough for a fruit fly. You guys- sorry to gross you out but LOOK AT THEM. They get in and they can’t get back out and they drown. In one day, they are practically extinct. File this away. You will need it at some point.