terrible babysitters

anonymous asked:

What do Susan's classmates think about Bendy? I'd imagine he'd be pretty popular with the kids, considering he's a living cartoon and all.

Well the bullies and the kids of parents who are like YOU MUST SHUN THE DEMON are pretty bleh, but honestly the latter group’s parents hated the cartoon itself, much less it’s DEMONIC MASCOT COMING TO LIFE.

Most of the kids loved the show, though, and thus they love Bendy. He gets himself and them in so much trouble with Mr. Roget, it’s terrible.

Laxus’ Misadventures in Babysitting (1/?)

Words: 1144

Rated: T for Laxus potty mouth.

AN: Happy birthday @papalogia! You said you wanted a Wendy/Laxus brotp, so here’s a blind stab at one lmao. Hopefully there will be more to come!

Laxus stares at her in absolute horror, his eyes going wide and his mouth dropping open in shock. “You want me to what?” he sputters. He blinks rapidly at Lucy, watching as his cousin rolls her eyes as she dabs at her fresh coat of lipstick, carefully preventing a smudge.

“It’s called babysitting, Laxus!” she says with false cheer, sarcasm heavy on her tongue. She glances at him from the mirror, frowning when she watches him roll over on her bed, messing up her sheets. “You know, it’s when you, an adult, takes care of a child that isn’t your own,” she reminds him, ignoring his grumbling as she turns back to her reflection, finishing up her make-up with practiced ease.

He snarls at her unamused with her quips. “I know what babysitting is, Lucy,” he growls, eyes narrowing though she can’t see it. He glances down at her pretty dress and sandals, nose wrinkling when he remembers why he’s here. “But why am I doing it?” He’s not a qualified babysitter. Terrible things happen when he’s put in charge of small children.

Besides, they’re stinky and wet and he doesn’t like it.

Lucy finishes with her mascara, holding him in suspense for several seconds as she takes her time. Finally, she turns to him with a savage expression, smile absolutely wicked. She looks like the devil with her red dress and equally red lips. His skin crawls when his baby cousin bats her eyes at him. “Because it’s date night, you’re lonely and single, and you owe me a favor,” she reminds him, eyes feral.

Scoffing, Laxus crosses his arms over his chest, glaring right back at her. He’s totally not pouting. Not even a little bit. “I’m not lonely,” he argues, sounding very lonely. Well, maybe his is a bit lonely, considering his only friends went to Spain without him, his (now ex) girlfriend Cana dumped him at a party, kissed Lucy, then hooked up Kagura. Granted, they weren’t working out anyway, but it still hurt his pride.

Also, it’s kind of Friday night and he had nothing better to do than help his cousin get ready for her date. Honestly, he doesn’t know why he’s here. He doesn’t even like Natsu all that much. Though, that may have more to do with Laxus once walking in on them severely under-dressed with hands in places they should not have been (granted, Lucy seemed to be taking the lead in that instance, but Laxus really didn’t need that image scarring his brain).

She quirks a disbelieving brow. “I found you drunk and singing show tunes in your bathtub on Wednesday,” she says blankly, no emotion at all. Her eyes say ‘I’m disappointed, Laxus’ but her frown says ‘shut the fuck up and stop arguing with me, Laxus,’ and Laxus is, frankly, rather offended. He’s the adult here! Actually, they’re both adults. He’s the adulter adult, or something.

Point is, he’s older, so Lucy can piss off.

As if sensing his thoughts, she sends him the nastiest look imaginable, making his resolve cave instantly. He really doesn’t feel like dying tonight.

“Reason I shouldn’t babysit,” he manages to force out, not wanting to give into his cousin’s demands. It’s a last ditch effort, but he has to try. “I’m an irresponsible drunk,” he tells her.

She rolls her eyes, turning her back to him and slipping on her shoes. “You’re doing it.” Lucy blatantly ignores him as she leaves the room, heading for the living room to wait.


“New York 2014!” she calls back at him, Laxus’ eyes blown wide with horror when he bolts out of the room behind her, sputtering. The door smacks against the wall loudly. “I’ll tell Gramps what you did,” Lucy threatens him.

He narrows his eyes, trying to pretend he isn’t almost shitting himself. “You wouldn’t,” he says slowly, eyeing her wearily.

“Try me,” she dares. Before Laxus can protest, there’s a knock on the door. Lucy brightens immediately, lips twisting into a smile as she gives a little hop. “Guess who’s here!” she sings, practically skipping towards the door.

He pouts, glaring. “I fucking hate you.”

“Love you too, Laxus,” she coos back at him, tossing him as smile as she heads for the door. “Now, stop acting like a child,” she snaps, far less kind than she was previously. “Or continue, you’ll probably get along well with Wendy.” It’s a joke, but he doesn’t laugh.

“I’m going to punch your stupid boyfriend in the face.”

“Laxus, honey, if you ruin this date for me, I’ll kill you.”

He believes her.

Lucy wrenches the door open, inviting in her boyfriend and his younger sister with open arms. Wendy throws her arms around her in a quick hug before the girl slips into the room. Natsu follows close behind, an arm curling around Lucy’s back. The man pulls Lucy close to his chest, Laxus blanching when he hears his cousin giggle. Natsu starts to lean down for a quick kiss, but freezes in terror when he notices Laxus glaring at him.

“What’s he doing here?” Natsu whispers, just loud enough for Laxus to hear and glare harder. Natsu glares right back, evidently still not forgiving him for walking in on them that one time. Or maybe he’s still mad about the swirly Laxus gave him in high school.

Maybe he should apologize for that?


Lucy cups Natsu’s face, snagging a chase kiss. Laxus pretends to gag, though Lucy simply ignores him. “He,” Lucy tells Natsu, and Wendy, but the girl doesn’t seem to care one way or another. “Is going to be watching Wendy.” The girl perks up at the sound of her name, but casts Laxus a weary look, eyes narrowed in thought.

Natsu glances at him, nose wrinkling. “Is that safe?” he asks.

Laxus resents that.

“I promise, she’ll be fine,” Lucy reassures, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. It’s sweet and makes Laxus want to puke, but he refrains from making stupid faces this time. “Laxus is an asshole,” she ignores her cousin’s disgruntled ‘hey!’, “but he’s responsible. He used to babysit me all the time!”

Natsu only pales. “Yeah, and you fell out of a tree!”

They bicker for a long moment, Laxus not paying any attention to them, too busy wondering how he got into this mess. He doesn’t hear them lay out rules for him, or promise to be back by eleven. He doesn’t hear them call out a goodbye, or hear the door click shut.

No, what draws him out of his thoughts is a tiny hand pulling at the hem of his shirt, Wendy blinking up at him slowly.


Laxus swallows, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, unsure what to do. “So,” he starts, trying for a smile. “Do you like dolls and shit?”

Wendy smiles.


Just hanging around on a Saturday waiting to see if you make bail?  Use your one phone call to ask your aunt about this episode of Terrible Babysitters, starring the incomparable Jim Santangeli!

Like!  Share!  Reblog!  Get a tattoo!  Yay!

Avengers Chatroom: OTP

Requested by Anon.

Pairing: Steve x f!reader

Scenario: Steve and reader are having a private chat until Clint decides to butt in, resulting in everyone else joining.

Steve has created a chatroom.

Steve has invited Y/N.

Steve: Hey, Y/N, are we still on for our usual lunch tomorrow?

Of course, Steve! :)

Great! I look forward to it. Bucky has been going on about this new movie, maybe we can see it afterwards?

Do you mean the superhero one? Based on us?

Yes, that one! Also, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. I couldn’t build up the courage before, but I think I’m ready. I was also scared that I could lose you.

Steve, you know I will always be here for you, no matter what. You can tell me.

Clint has invited himself.

What do we have here? Hmmm? A SECRET DATE? CONFESSIONS OF LOVE?

How… Did you manage to join…

This is a private chat.

Don’t try to change the subject, you two. Also, I am one of the best assassins ever, it wasn’t hard.


You heard the lady.



Steve doesn’t like me!

I um, well


You are being worse than a 6 year old.

Clint has invited Nat.

Why the hell is Clint cackling like an idiot next to me?

Omg! You two? Congratulations!

No not you too, Nat!


Nat has invited Bucky.


Buck, please.

Was it his abs, Y/N? ;) Love at first abs? They’re great, huh?

Oh so you think his abs are great?



Bucky has invited Sam, Tony, Bruce, Thor and T’Challa.

T’Challa: Wakanda would be the perfect honeymoon destination.

Sam: Awww yeah Steve! Get some!

Steve: All of you are being highly inappropriate!

Thor: Congratulations, Brother Steven! You are welcome to host thy wedding upon Asgard.

Bruce: I would have never guessed you two would be a couple.

Tony: How are you going to break the news to Wanda that she now has a step-mom?

Steve: Can you all leave? We were having an important discussion!

Clint: About what you’d name your children?

Y/N: You are so annoying, Clint!

Tony has invited Wanda, Vision and Peter.

Peter: Tony I have homework

Peter: Oh! Sweet! Cap and Y/N!

Wanda: FINALLY, you two are together!

Clint: I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!

Vision: The way they stare at each other was becoming uncomfortable.

Y/N: Why am I even friends with all of you?


Peter: I would be happy to babysit your kids.

T’Challa: As would I.

Tony: Uh,no. I will. Uncle Tony > Everyone else.

Steve: You would be a terrible babysitter, Tony.

Wanda: He doesn’t deny the possibility of kids with Y/N!

Bucky: I am going to be the godfather of their kids.

Sam: Excuse you. I will.

Steve: THAT’S ENOUGH. There’s something I really have to tell you, Y/N.

Y/N: Hold on Steve, let’s leave this chat first. I’ll make a chat THAT CLINT CAN’T HACK!

Y/N has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Clint: Pfft, imma invade that chat as well.

Sam: Hurry up.

Tony: I want to know what Steve was going to say.

Clint has left the chat.

Nat: So, turns out Clint couldn’t hack their chat and it crashed his phone.

Bucky: NO! DAMN IT.

Bucky has left the chat.

Tony: Well this isn’t fun.

Tony has left the chat.

Peter: I have to finish my homework

Peter has left the chat.

T’Challa: And I have to go rule my country.

T’Challa has left the chat.

Sam: Man, NICE GOING CLINT! Nat please show him that.

Sam has left the chat.

Wanda: We can tail them tomorrow.

Vision: Good idea.

Wanda has left the chat.

Vision has left the chat.

Bruce: Well that was fun while it lasted.Bruce has left the chat.Thor has left the chat.Nat has left the chat.
TMI Ships as Parents
  • ...CLACE...
  • Clary: so, what you're telling me is that manly Jace Herondale has been defeated by a screaming toddler with a dirty diaper?
  • Jace: *on floor, pinned down by said toddler* YES CLARISSA FRAY WHAT ELSE DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?
  • ...SIZZY...
  • Izzy: ok kids, time for bed. I'll tell you a nice bedtime story about the time I turned your dad into a rat.
  • ...MALEC...
  • Alec: Magnus what is this creature and what has it done to our child? Why are you such a terrible babysitter? He's supposed to be taking a nap.
  • Magnus: he has been thoroughly bedazzled. *sprinkles glitter everywhere* *baby gurgles and claps his hands*
First Class Fright.

I was counting, literally, the hours until we would be landing in Barcelona.

At this moment, I had three hours and twenty six minutes left until I could breathe easy and the time was slowly ticking when I wished it would just speed up so I could toss my headphones on and hand my sister back her stubborn child.

I sat alone in the first class cabin of the flight with my nephew Daniel nestled against my chest with the baby carrier I wore, his screams of displeasure echoing throughout the cabin like I was slowly pulling his non-existent teeth out of his mouth one by one tortuously.

And he had been like that for the past twenty minutes. I was slowly regretting taking up the task of babysitting on this flight while my sister sat in the next cabin over, probably sound asleep and smiling with joy as she didn’t have to deal with the stress of a crying baby on board. Of course I had taken up the job thinking how bad could it be? I would be nestled in a comfortable seat in first class while everyone else was in closer quarters with the sneezing, too close strangers surrounding them and in their space. Too bad Daniel wasn’t enjoying the benefits like I was. He hated first class.

“Shh,” I slowly patted his back and rocked him where I sat. I had tried walking up and down the aisles a bit to visit the bathroom and the flight attendant who gave me quite a few sympathetic smiles when she saw me walk past but that only seemed to make him louder so I returned to my seat. The cries didn’t cease no matter me giving him a new bottle or changing his diaper or rocking him softly. Nothing was working and I was ten seconds away from screaming myself and trading seats with my brother-in-law.

The woman sitting closest to me had opened her eyes and tossed and turned enough to let me know she was displeased with my abilities to quiet babies as she cut her eyes at me numerous times with dissatisfaction. All I could do was mouth a sorry the first few times but after a while I stopped caring. If anyone should be cutting their eyes, it should have been me. I was the one with the screams directly in their ears!

“Daniel, Daniel,” I tried to sing out though the pleasure in my voice was strained. “Please stop crying,” I urged thinking some sympathetic switch would go off inside my nephew and send him into a quiet sleep.

It didn’t work.

My eyes lifted to see a figure a few rows ahead stir in their chair and peer behind them towards me. I began to mouth another ‘Sorry’ until my lips stuck midway when I realized who it was.

Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior.

It was one thing to displease some random woman sitting next to me who kept patting her personal Louis Vuitton in her lap but Neymar?! I was probably going to be the source of complaints to his friends and managers when anyone asked how his flight went and why he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.

He turned back forward in his seat and I expected him to resume sleeping, or at least try to given the noise, but instead I could see the blanket in his lap being tossed to the side and soon enough he stood and turned to head down the aisle in my direction.

Oh great, Daniel. The first time I’ll get the attention of an ultra famous footballer and it’s for him scolding me for being a terrible babysitter. Thanks a lot!

I tried to prepare myself mentally and also prepare myself to utter a thousand sincere apologies but my voice got caught in my throat as soon as he stopped next to my seat and bent down some to speak, his eyes clearly spelling sleepiness but the small grin on his face suggesting he felt a bit bad for me.

“Is everything okay? Do you need any help?”

Oh nope. Everything is fine. Just a crying baby in my lap who is trying to ruin my entire flight and weekend and you’re now speaking to me, probably internally hating my guts because I’m ruining the little bit of sleep you can bare to catch. Of course I need help!

“N-No. Everything’s fine. Thank you,” I stated as I gave him an unconvincing smile.

My excuse wasn’t enough as he didn’t nod and walk away but instead squeezed past me and sat to the seat on my right. “Here.” He held out his arms towards Daniel and motioned for me to hand him over. I began unclipping him from the carrier wrapped around me and Neymar reached for him, careful to remove him and placed him against his own chest.

It was the most adorable sight I had ever witnessed and if I wasn’t too busy internally crying with joy that someone was here to try and save the day, I would have probably pulled out my phone to take a picture.

Would have ruined the moment, huh?

Daniel didn’t immediately quiet once in the stranger’s arms but I could see Neymar beginning to soothe him by rubbing his back and saying something in his ear I couldn’t hear. I could only watch in awe as soon enough, the dramatic baby began to slowly lower his volume until completely quiet.

Why the hell couldn’t I do that?!

“What did you say to get him to quiet like that? How–”

“I told him that his mother looked as if she needed some sleep or she was going to lose it soon,” he chuckled, speaking lowly so not to send Daniel roaring again with cries.

I quickly shook his head. “Oh no. I’m not his mother. I’m his aunt.”

“Ah, I see. What’s his name?” His eyes drifted down to the young boy for a moment, smiling with pleasure, until his eyes wove back up to me.


“Funny. I was just texting my friend Dani before the flight. Mind if I take a picture? I’ve gotta tell him Dani’s just love me,” he chuckled.

“Sure sure!”

He reached into his pocket and unlocked his phone, beginning to take a selfie with a sleeping Daniel while I just watched in awe. No way would my sister believe this.

“So what has you headed to Barcelona?” He spoke as he continued looking down at his phone.

“My cousin is getting married.”

“Send my congratulations,” he smiled.

“Why are you headed to Barcelona?”

Oh what a stupid question! I immediately winced, scolding myself for being so idiotic. Why else would he be headed to Barcelona? He works here. He lives here!

I blushed, sinking in my seat some. “Stupid question,” I rushed out before he could laugh and force an answer. I had to find another suitable way to continue conversation. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m clearly not as good with children on planes like I thought I was.”

“It’s nothing. I’ve been there before. My son Davi used to be the same way and I always had to find little ways to quiet him. It took a lot of tries to find something. Trust me.” He relaxed further in his seat, his hands still moving against Daniel’s back while he remained sound asleep. “I’m going to try to catch a little nap while he’s quiet. Wake me in an hour?”

“S-sure.” I was even more amazed he was willing to remain in the seat instead of returning to his own. I watched as he began to close his eyes and slowly drift while I couldn’t quite get myself to do the same. Not with him sitting next to me.

The rehearsal dinner was practically chaos with all of my family members bouncing about, trying to find their place. The hall was filled with loud conversation so when my sister came bouncing up to me excitedly I figured there was something going on.

“Did you see it??” She practically screamed with glee.

My tone on the other hand? Fairly normal. “See what?”

“Neymar posted a picture of Daniel!” She reached out her hand to pass over her phone, the screen already showing the selfie that Neymar took of himself with Daniel against him on the plane. The caption read ‘Meet my new best friend Daniel!

A smile immediately graced my face, my eyes running over every piece of the picture over and over. It was an adorable sight and an experience I would never be able to forget.


we’ve got nothing to lose

Olympics AU where Harry is a pro tennis player, and Louis is a pro footballer. They meet at the opening ceremony and fall in love, obviously.

reeling through the midnight streets

au; louis can’t sleep. neither can the boy on the bridge. the water’s a nice place to meet.

no one does it better

Harry’s an alcoholic and Louis is a bartender. The first time they meet isn’t the first time they’ve met.

hold onto your stars

au; harry’s in the army, louis’ back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

lyz and kimberly’s massive fic rec, 100+ completed fics under the cut.

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Real talk, having seen my fair share of Brendan Fraser movies, I have come to the conclusion that he is truly a terrible babysitter. Like, I’m watching Journey To The Center of The Earth, and Fraser’s character lost his nephew IN THE CENTER OF THE EARTH.

As I was drawing this, I began to think about a Disney World family vacation au and I have realized some things:

  • Kylo Ren would be the kid that sulks the entire time and frowns in all of the family photos. He’d throw a tantrum no less than three times per day.
  • Because of all these tantrums, Han and Leia would eventually need a day off and send Kylo with Uncle Luke for the day. Luke, being a terrible babysitter would lose him almost immediately, but they’d eventually find him with a cast member at a build your own lightsaber station. Ren would then scream until Luke bought him one out of guilt.
  • Kylo Ren would react to meeting Darth Vader the same way I react to my favorite characters at wdw (with complete starstruck awe)
  • He would also be the one kid I met one time during my college program who had the button you get for completing jedi training. In typical cm fashion we were like “Oh wow! So you’re going to be a jedi master? Does that mean you can protect us from Darth Vader if he shows up here?” His stone faced reply was “I am Darth Vader” We didn’t know how to respond.

anonymous asked:

What are your headcanons about SakuSyao as parents?

Syaoran is petrified by the idea of parenthood. The amount of responsibility involved in raising a kid isn’t lost on him; it haunts his sleep.  He worries about teaching the kid magic and how to use a jian sword and having to restrain himself from rescuing the child from all the trouble they’re going to get into.

Sakura is excited to be a parent. She looks forward to holding the baby, singing to the baby, the baby laughing and learning to walk and talk and growing up. She dreams about teaching the child magic and introducing them to all the Sakura Cards and helping them make friends with Yue.

Sakura unironically hopes their child is just like Syaoran while Syaoran wishes vehemently for anything but.

In practice, they’re pretty good at the parent thing.

(They have lots of help.  There’s Grandpa Fujitaka, who has cool videos of all the places he’s been on archeological digs; Uncle Yukito always has sweets to ruin the kid’s teeth, and Uncle Touya is by *far* the best relative, because he the best at tickle fights - even better than Mom - and he also is like a human jungle gym that two-year-old Baby Li can crawl all over.  Aunt Tomoyo is threatening to spoil the child rotten with all the toys she brings.  Kero is a terrible babysitter but an excellent playmate, and by the time the kid is 10 or so he’s also their diary-slash-mentor - Baby Li tells Kero everything.  Yue is very bad at showing his affection and is not good with children, but he confesses, quietly, that he rather likes the child and can be convinced to do quiet activities with them from time to time, such as reading.)

Their greatest vice as a couple is that they both want their child to be happy at every moment. Their child - boy or girl (or neither, who knows) - is a combination of grossly sweet, kind Sakura-chan and responsible, quiet Syaoran-kun, and with a stubborn streak the size of Shinano river.  They go through their terrible twos like a banshee, screaming their disappointment with the world not being exactly how they want it.  Sakura and Syaoran are both pushovers and struggle valiantly with being firm but fair instead of just giving their kid the lollipop they want (but not the one they need right now).  Syaoran is marginally better at this, but Sakura has to comfort him that he did the right thing later.  Sakura masters compromise. (If you pick up your room, then you can have the lollipop!)

All three of them are completely hopeless at detecting outrageous lies.

Syaoran teaches their kid how to cook.  Syaoran teaches them to taste their food often and how to chop onions.  They cry together.  Sakura teaches their kid how to do chores.  Sakura teaches them to make chores into a game or a song so that it’s more fun.

Syaoran teaches their kid to be responsible and get their homework done.  Sakura teaches their kid it’s okay to take a break and play outside first.

Syaoran teaches their kid how to sense magic and use ofuda.  Sakura introduces their kid to the Cards.  Their child gets into a great deal of mischief with Mirror for a while - at least until Touya visits and Mirror remembers she likes herself better when she’s being responsible.

Sakura is the second best ticklemaster after Touya. She is the number one best human carosel.  And nothing beats taking a ride in Mom’s arms while she uses Fly.

Their child learns caution and observation from Syaoran. They learn to not rush into things, but to wait until they know everything they can, and how to use that knowledge to their advantage.

Their child learns trust and confidence from Sakura.  Even when things seem scary, everything will surely be okay.  They learn to believe in themselves, and to trust their friends.  They know that in a dark, dangerous world, at the least their parents will never stop being there.

Sakura and Syaoran’s kid isn’t perfect - they’re a little arrogant, a little too self-assured, a little stubborn.  But they are good-hearted, because they have parents that are good-hearted, and who value the good hearts of others.

They love their kid.

They love their kid no matter what they do or who they are.

And their kid knows it.


It scared him how much he loved them.

The them in question currently had Dipper buried on the couch in a tangle of limbs and red hair. All three of his niblings were asleep in a pile on top of him, exhausted from the three hour game of hide and seek in the forest the four of them had had and then the big dinner he had made for them.

(If nothing else, let it not be said that Dipper Pines was a terrible babysitter.)

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Terrible Babysitters (Season One Finale)

I wish I had the energy to learn how to make animated GIFs of the last 5 seconds of this one.

I would make four of them, the first one would feature the final line of dialogue, the second one would feature DC and MK reaction to that, the third one would be back to Lennon for her final shot and then the last one would be that intake of breath by DC and MK. 

I would post these GIFs on Tumblr for fun and then people would see them and it would be fun. I wish I knew how to DO things!


So its been a bit since i did a fic rec but this one has been long waited by the anon who requested it (which i’ve lost too) but heres some shit for you kinky shits

There are 30 bottom!louis and 25 bottom!harry

since i don’t read bottom!harry two of my followers volunteered to help me (thank you!) daddy-minaj and doublechinharry by recing it but all of the bottom!louis and categorizing was done by me!

here yall go  

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Something I’ve been talking about with @crashorpie is that one of the biggest pulls to the Rose Diamond theory for me isn’t actually the present supporting evidence or the suspiciously straightforwards narrative that Rose slew Pink, nearly so much as I think that Rose and the Diamonds really do have similar character conflicts in a way.

The thing about the Diamonds is they are idealized to a ridiculous standard. Peridot calls them objectively superior- perfect beings.

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