tentative name

rollingstone.com
Singer and 'Glee' actor comes out as transgender and announces his name
Jake Zyrus thanks fans for "love and respect"

The singer, actor and YouTuber whose musical career includes playing Sunshine Corazon on Glee has come out about his transgender identity and name. 

Back in 2014, about a year after publicly coming out as a lesbian, Jake Zyrus told Oprah that he had long struggled with his gender identity. He told her that his soul was male, but that he would not transition to be a “male-male.” This week, though, he announced his new name and online presence as Jake.

On Sunday, the Filipino star announced that he will now go by the name Jake Zyrus, a new moniker that reflects his male gender identity.

“From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the love and respect,” Zyrus captioned an Instagram post that simply bore the words “thank you.” “I love you back and I’m sending peace to everyone.”

The next day, Zyrus ventured further into the social media realm using his new name, tentatively tweeting, “My first tweet as Jake. Overwhelmed. Saw all your love comments and I’m so happy. Finally. I love you, everyone and see you soon.” As an added note, he wrote in a subsequent tweet, “I won’t let anyone ruin this moment. I won’t let anyone ruin my happiness. Thank you to all the beautiful write ups about me.”

Congratulations, Jake! So happy for you. 

For my fifty-sixth Evangelion book review, here is Evangelion Shin Gekijouban: Q E-conte Shuu (Evangelion New Theatrical Edition: Q Storyboards Collection), published by Groundworks.  This is a new book that just came out this week, and it is devoted to storyboards for the Evangelion: 3.0 movie.  (If you also want to see storyboards for the Evangelion: 1.0 and 2.0 movies, check out my fifty-fourth and fifty-fifth book reviews.  Or for storyboards from the original Evangelion TV series, take a look at my twenty-seventh review!)

This book is not available in English or French, but there are plenty of pictures.  It also has a removable dust jacket, however there isn’t any alternate cover art hidden underneath.  But that’s okay, because the book has plenty of interesting stuff inside, such as this lovely scene when Shinji sees Kaworu playing the piano:


The column on the left is for dialogue (or sometimes other audio for the scene), the column in the middle is rough sketches of the visuals for the scene, and the column on the right has additional instructions such as camera directions.  However, as you can see above, sometimes the visuals are just too big to be contained in only one column… the topmost shot of Kaworu at the piano was so large that it extended into the left and right columns!

Keep reading for the rest of the book review, plus a few more pictures!

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Writing Emotional Works

A lot of comments I receive usually talk about how emotional my works are, so I wanted to try sharing how I usually write to try to get them that way. It’s really all about description, but not of what the characters are thinking/feeling (though it can help), but rather more on how the characters and their bodies are reacting. Kinda ironic, I think, but it makes sense, doesn’t it? You can easily tell if somebody’s happy if they’re smiling or sad if they’re crying (with some exceptions, of course). Here are a few tips I usually keep in mind when writing:

Use your senses
Don’t just rely on sight. Use your other senses like touch and sound. You could use smell and taste too, but I usually just stick to the three aforementioned ones.
“Tears were trailing down his cheeks”
“Tears were trailing down his cheeks (sight), his arms hugging himself to stop the trembling of his body (touch) as soft sobs (sound) escaped him.”

Use body language
The body is very expressive; it doesn’t just have to be the face alone doing all the emoting.
◇ “He knit his eyebrows together in worry, chewing at his bottom lip
“He sat hunched over, his hands folded together almost as though in prayer. His leg kept on bouncing as he knit his eyebrows together in worry, chewing at his bottom lip.”

Adverbs are your best friend
The subtle detail in an action can really add more to the scene, showing the intensity of the emotions.
“She blushed”
“She blushed fiercly”
“She blushed softly”

Rewording to add more impact(?)
I’m not too sure how to phrase this, but sometimes it helps to change the wording to help readers visualize better.
“She blushed fiercly”
“Significant warmth pooled across her face”

Consider the pacing of the dialogue/manner of speech
Does the character pause to collect their thoughts because they’re afraid/timid? Does the character stutter because they’re nervous/embarrassed?
“It’s…not that. I was just…y'know, curious…”
“I-It’s not that! I-I-I was just—I was just, y-y'know, curious…”

Add some buildup
Let’s say you want to get from Scene A to Scene B. Add a Scene C in the middle for a buildup to make the two scenes seem more impactful.
“She hesitated the slightest bit before (Scene A) tentatively calling his name. The male turned his head, and she seized her chance to kiss him on the lips. (Scene B)”
“She hesitated the slightest bit (Scene A), twiddling her thumbs. Her eyes flickered over to his face, her heart hammering loudly against her chest when she saw just how close he was. She tightly squeezed her eyes shut before (Scene C) tentatively calling his name. The male turned his head, and she seized her chance to kiss him on the lips. (Scene B)”

I hope this helps!

anonymous asked:

sherlock getting over emotional at rosie calling him 'da' for the first time

John comes home from work one day to find Sherlock settled on the sofa, sitting cross-legged, with Rosie fast asleep against his shoulder. He’s staring down at the little girl with wide, bright eyes, and he seems to be frozen. John sets his bag down and slowly walks into the room, tentatively saying Sherlock’s name. Sherlock looks up, startled, and his expression is cracked open. “Sherlock, what–?” John doesn’t get a chance to finish because Sherlock cuts him off in a rush, whispering, “She called me ‘dada.’” A rush of affection sweeps through John, and he steps closer until he’s standing in front of Sherlock. He cups Sherlock’s face in his hands and leans down to kiss him softly. “She loves you,” he says against his lips. “Almost as much as her father loves you.” And when he pulls back Sherlock’s bottom lip trembles, and moisture gathers in his eyes, and John just kisses him again because he simply can’t help it.

the best thing he never had ; four

one , two , three , four , five

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; best friend!au

word count; 4.8k

summary; in this story, you have known your best friend for more than 15 years and you were utterly and wholly in love with him


You promised that you would get to tell him.

Soon, that is.

But not now— not when he had been stressing out over midterms and you, being just as busy with packing your things and talking with the administrator back and forth about how your trip would all go down.

The global internship was a chance for you to finally do something that you loved and prove that you are worthy of something more than just purely passing every midterm and getting good grades effortlessly (at least that’s what they say when you’re not listening). But truly, you knew that this internship to see dozens of places could help you go back to your roots and experience the many things you wouldn’t be able to do with just plain studying.

You were going to Australia, the first place that your mother took you when you were seven and you could vaguely remember the streets that everyone walked on all throughout the day and you grasping onto your mother’s arm as tightly as you could in fear of getting side tracked and losing her all at once.

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speaking of the arcana game, i might as well post my messy sketch of my protag since i haven’t posted anything in a while! her tentative name is jura. i’m still deciding on a lot of details, but her main dress is heavily inspired by the vietnamese ao dai

Dating Bellamy Blake would include...

Masterlist <3

Originally posted by bellamyblako

-you hating his guts at first

-not following his rules around camp

-first time you actually enjoy his company is when he oddly doesn’t try to take your bracelet off

-getting along with octavia better than Bellamy

-lighting the bonfire for unity day and Bellamy complementing your skills.

-”wow bellamy I didn’t know you had a nice bone in your body.”

-having to be on watch with him.

-”you’re late this week y/l/n”

-hearing a snap in the woods.

-Bellamy makes you go to investigate it

-you don’t find anything so you turn around to go back but you bump into someone

-Bellamy’s hands resting on the sides of your face, before pressing his lips to yours

-”Sorry. I had to distract you because I thought it was weird if I just kissed you …”

-Pressing a kiss to his cheek

-Bellamy and you talking more since that night

-Bonfire cuddles.

-”You still won’t take the bracelet off will you?”

-Ignoring him when he brings up the ark.

-shoulder kisses

-making out when you’re supposed to be on watch

-sharing a tent

-convincing him not to kick people out because they keep complaining that he can choose who he has a tent with

-stargazing

-pet names

- princess is common when he’s talking about you

-trying to make peace with grounders

-secretly rooting for octavia and Lincoln’s relationship while Bellamy tells his sister off

-”Bellamy why don’t you accept them?”

-”Them? Them?! Y/n there isn’t a them. He’s from the ground. He hurt her.”

-Trying to stop him from hurting Lincoln since octavia is held back.

-”You’re fucking protecting him?”

-”Yes, But I’m protecting him for your sister. He saved her”

-”He didn’t save her!”

-”God Bellamy. Are you that stupid?”

-Refusing to talk to him

-until he realizes that Lincoln did help his sister

-trying to apologize to you each time you two have to go on watch

-deja vu when you hear something snap in the woods

-going to check on it before Bellamy can start talking to you again

-not being able to find anything

-slamming into a chest, a muffled sorry escaping his lips.

-”I want to ask this time. Can I kiss you?”

anonymous asked:

LEMME GIVE YOU AN IMAGE. Derek Hale is taking a walk around the neighborhood, running errands here and there. And then he encounters a kitten. A very small, very meowy kitten who's all black with a white spot on the tip of its tail. And it's the cutest thing Derek has ever seen. So naturally he takes it home, buys all the necessary kitty stuff, becomes an official Cat Dad and is absolutely DELIGHTED because he's a big scary Alpha but is loved and trusted by something so smol and precious.

Alright, I’m not saying you just made me cry…..but you just made me cry, nonnie. 

It’s a firm headcanon of mine Derek adopts stray cats and gives them homes. Only a couple stick around 24/7, long enough that he tentatively gives them names (’Newt’ because you can bet your ass Derek would name a pet after the biggest Hufflepuff ever to Hufflepuff, and ‘Leia’ which was in no way influenced by the knowledge the name might make a certain someone smile and visit more often…) 

The rest of the cats….well, let’s just say Derek leaves a lot of food and water out. One cat has a fondness for a special kind of organic cream though, because it’s a goddamn stereotype, which Derek leaves in a special place for them to get. (So what if he drives an extra 15.6 miles every week to buy it…..it’s worth it when the kitten rubs against his leg every so often, as a thank you). 

Derek gets strange looks from the pack, and Stiles outright mocks him (that is, before Stiles sees one of the kittens asleep on Derek’s chest after Derek has nodded off himself, and he has to run out of the room before he starts making embarrassing cooing noises). 

Derek Hale isn’t just an official Cat Dad, he’s a beautiful, heart wrenching tragedy (and you can also bet the day Stiles finally just yells “fuck it”, and storms across the room to kiss Derek’s beautiful face off for the first time, it’s probably because Derek has been sitting patiently for two hours, playing with a fucking string and smiling to himself every time the kitten caught it, like a proud father). 

Work It Out

In which Eric Bittle officially comes out to his Mama. 

Read on Ao3

It was only hours into Christmas vacation and the Bittle Family’s quaint, sunshine yellow kitchen was already overflowing with every kind of pie-like confection imaginable. Apple. Cherry. Rhubarb. You name it, and it was probably perched on one of the many crowded windowsills.

This increased state of pie productivity was due in part to the fact that the elder Bittle had missed her son/best friend/partner in sugary crime something fierce while he was away at college, but it was mostly just because Eric himself was more nervous than he’d ever been in his whole life.

Today was the day. Today was the day he would tell her about Jack.

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13 Top Tips for The Traveling Writer from Gail Carriger

1. Thou shalt follow the 6, 2, 1 rule
What’s that? At least six hours sleep, two full meals, and one bath.
Actually, I usually try for 8, 3, 2. I recommend a morning swim (at most cons I get an AM pool to myself) plus a hot tub mini soak and shower. People often forget about the hotel pool when there is a major event, so if you like to swim don’t forget the bathing suit and goggles.

2. Sleep well
I highly recommend investing in ear plugs and an eye mask. That way odd noises and insufficient curtain coverage in strange hotels won’t be a bother. I carry a decongestant as well, in case I’m stuffed up from flying or allergies or temperature shifts.

2. Start as you mean to go on (but probably can’t)
My start? Egg white omelet, vegetarian, no-cheese. As an avowed not-really-breakfast person I force myself to eat this omelet every morning. Most hotels have something like it on the menu. Why? Because it’s the only meal I know I can guarantee I will have time to eat; egg whites are a good solid protein that sticks without weighing me down, and it is always hard to get veg on the go. Convention green rooms and cafes are available for snacks, but those snacks are usually carb heavy and if you get protein, it’s meat or cheese. I find if I start right I don’t worry as much about the rest of the day.

3. Soak thy feet, every night
Keeping in mind that I wear stilettos, I still feel that this applies to everyone – especially at those bigger conventions where you’re walking for miles. I soak my feet and rub lotion into them every night (no matter how tired or how drunk) and this is one of my biggest tips. Nothing is worse than sore feet, treat yours with love.

4. Thou shalt wear deodorant but not perfume or cologne
I know, you love that scent, but no one else does (no matter what they say) and you’re likely putting on too much. Yeah, you really are. This rule holds doubly true if you are flying.

5. Thou shalt tip thy maids
Look, working as a maid in a big hotel really sucks. Leave a tip each day in a prominent place (I usually go for the zone of little bottles in the bathroom) and I add a note with a heart that says “Thank You”. Be a decent human.

6. Thou shalt wear layers
You could be going to the hottest place on earth, or the coldest, but you’re in a convention center or a hotel or a bookstore, and the AC/heating is notoriously tricky. I carry a scarf and a light cardigan at all times.

7. If offered a mint, take it
It’s usually a subtle hint. Take the hint, take the mint. Carry mints yourself, share the love.

8. Honor thy moderator
Moderating a panel is a rough job, but someone has to do it. Be nice. Be polite.

9. Thou shalt carry badge, ID, business cards, phone, cash, name tent, mints, individually wrapped toothpicks, tissues, pain killers & other meds, snacks, and water upon thy person at all times.
Some conventions are great about supplying these kinds of things, some aren’t. Be your own savior, be someone else’s, hack the planet.

10.  Thou shalt not eat raw onions
Well I mean you CAN eat them, just not when on the road and at events. Your favorite food? Practice a little willpower, for everyone’s sake. Eat as many as you want when you get home.

11. Thou shalt follow the protocols of cosplay
No realistic weapons, no sticky substances (AKA the PB & J rule), no view-obstructing wings or hats, be aware of your costumed dimensions. I am well known for my abhorrence of the backpack, but if you insist on one, please be aware of it sticking out behind you. Nothing is worse than being a short female constantly whacked in the face by a backpack-wielding Sasquatch, particularly on planes.

12. Thou shalt not dress like a slob
Look, if you are traveling for work, you’re traveling for WORK. Whether that is as a professional writer or appliance servicing technician. Represent.

13. Say thank you
Someone invited you, someone brought you in, someone argued to make you a guest. Try to find that person and thank them. Thank the people running registration, and the green room, and programming, and the dealer room, and the bookstore. Mostly these are fans and volunteers. They make the event happen and they do it because they want to meet you, they want to meet writers. All they get are complaints, and issues, and fires to put out every day. Don’t add to their stress. And if there is a Dead Dog Party and you happen to be invited, do go. They are often the most fun and you get to meet all the people behind the scenes.

19| Pas De Deux

Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Ballet au, Romance, Angst
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 4042

Masterlist | Prev | Next

The rain thrashed down on the both of you. Your mind, it seemed, didn’t want to think about what you were doing. All you knew was that your heart was hammering, and that if you stayed out here much longer you’d get frostbite. You hurried through the downpour to the car door, which he pushed open. It was then that you hesitated, looking over the top of the car at the waving trees. Was this a smart thing to do? Get in Park Jimin’s car for the whole forty minute journey back to Amour? However you could already feel the warm air blasting from the heaters. Thunder growled overhead and you quickly made a decision.

You slid into the black leather seat, shutting the door with a very audible clunk. The rain was muffled. The two of you were alone together. This had been a bad idea. Why hadn’t he just ignored you as usual? He cleared his throat and began pulling out of the bus stop. Was he realizing it as well? Was he thinking he should have just driven on?

You glanced at him. His hands were a little tight on the steering wheel, eyes concentrated on the road. He was dressed in jeans and a black turtleneck sweater.

“Thank you.” You said quietly.

“It’s no inconvenience.” His voice was smooth, but his eyes stayed the same, focusing only at the road ahead.

You resigned yourself to a long, silent car journey back. You shivered and folded your arms close to your chest, trying to conserve some of the heat your wet clothes were stealing from you. Your teeth chattered, and you ground them together, trying to focus on the shops the two of you were shooting past.

Jimin seemed to have his walls up. If you put your up too then maybe you could get through this.

You shivered again, gritting your teeth harder.

He was honorable, he wouldn’t leave you standing out in the rain, but that was all. It was just like in the dining hall. He didn’t want anything to do with you. What he did, he did because he had no choice.

You tried to make your breathing quieter, but it shook with cold as you tried to breathe in.

Jimin stopped at a set of traffic lights. You heard a seatbelt unclip. He was pulling off his sweater, revealing a fitted black t-shirt underneath. He held the sweater out to you.

You stared at it. “I’m fine.”

He raised his eyebrows, finally looking at you. “You’re frozen, (Name).”

You tentatively took the sweater. It was already warm. You gulped hard and peeled off Dawon’s sodden jacket. Your skin was goosebumped all over. Quickly, you pulled his sweater on and Jimin’s scent surrounded you.

“Thank you.” You said, not able to resist huddling into it. Your hands hid within the long sleeves, revelling in the warmth.

Jimin glanced at you. His eyes flashed in surprise, and he quickly looked away again. “You should take better care of yourself.” He murmured, speeding up as you the traffic lights turned green.

Holding on to what little defiance you seemed to have left, you replied. “I do.”

He glanced at you. A concerned, and sceptical, look. “If I hadn’t picked you up then you would’ve stood out there in the freezing cold until the bus came?”

“Of course.” You said indignantly. “I don’t have a hundred thousand Won for a Porsche at my disposal.”

“And if I hadn’t found out about Minjee, you would’ve kept silent about it?”

“I had it under control.”

“And you would have kept dancing with a concussion if I hadn’t worked it out?”

“I – ”

“And if I hadn’t seen the pain on your face, you would have kept dancing with – ”

You suddenly snapped. “I would’ve kept thinking that pas de deux was the worst, not the most beautiful part of ballet!” You locked you lips together. Shit. You were a stupid, stupid girl.

Jimin was quiet, emotions playing on his face which you couldn’t understand. Pain, irritation, weariness, but they all faded quickly, and his face turned smooth and passive. He’d shut himself off again. Only his eyes gave away that he was thinking something. But they did not tell you what.

All there was to be heard was the gentle hum of the heaters and the muffled rain on the windscreen. It was unbearable. There was so much you wanted to talk about, but Jimin wanted silence.

Silence was easier.

A ringtone began playing and Jimin pulled the newest iPhone out of his pocket. “Hello?” His voice was smooth, as if he wasn’t sitting in the most tensioned car in the world. “Yeah, where? Right, see you in ten, bye.” He slid the phone back in his pocket and kept driving. “Taeyeon’s stuck in Jung-gu.” He said, staring uninterestedly at the road. “We’re going to have to pick her up.”

“Right.”

You stared out the window. Taeyeon. Any chance of talking to Jimin was now entirely crushed, although you should’ve known that they were crushed long before you even got in the car.

Soon you were entering Jung-gu and Jimin pulled up outside a cafe. It was much flashier than the one you’d been in. The Dance Emporium was across the road. It’s warm lighting and flaking paint was looking very appealing right now.

Inside the car, he’d taken his phone out again, and was glaring at the screen. “Taeyeon’s decided she wants me to have coffee with her.” He sighed and looked at you tiredly,

“You can come if you want.” Then he got out, slamming the door.

The car now was truly silent. Oh for the love of God. You took your seatbelt off and opened the door. The rain was falling heavily. You couldn’t stay in here, you had to try and repair the damage you’d just done.

You got out, hurrying under the awning of the cafe and into the cafe. Jimin stood at the counter. You stood beside him, careful not to brush him. He didn’t look exactly happy.

“Caramel macchiato, please.” You said to the waitress. You grabbed your wallet out of your pocket, but Jimin was already handing her a shiny silver credit card. “I can pay myself.” You muttered to him as the waitress pressed some buttons on the till.

“My treat.”

Treat. Yeah right…

“Jiminnie!” Taeyeon’s call came from a table by the window. She was dressed in jeans, high heeled boots and a gold tight-fitting top, with sleeves which wound down to her knuckles. Her hair was done up in a bun, as usual. She seemed like the height of elegance, but then you saw who sat opposite her.

Shinn Taeil.

The name everyone knew.

She had straight, silvery blonde hair which was plaited into a high, regal bun. She wore a silver off-the-shoulder top which hung from her arms with just a few delicate threads at her elbows and wrists. But it wasn’t her clothes. It was her posture. It was like she was born to play Aurora and she knew it. She presided over the entire coffee shop, her shoulders pushed back, her chin high, and her thin, impossibly long legs crossed over.

Taeyeon had finally noticed you and she gave a death glare. “What the hell is she doing here?” She demanded as Jimin and you reached them.

“Taeyeon.” Chastised Shinn Taeil. She stood up, gracefully rising, and offered you a slender, delicate hand. “Forgive my sister. I’m Shinn Taeil.”

“(Surname) (Name).” You said, shaking it.

“Hmm, yes I’ve heard about you.” She gave you a glossy smile at bemusement, then turned to Jimin.

“Ah, Jimin!” Though she was tall, she only came up to his chin. She went up on her tiptoes and kissed him on each cheek. “It’s been too long!”

Jimin gave her a slight smile, then sat down next to Taeyeon, leaving you to sit next to the future principal dancer of the US Ballet. In your current state, you didn’t count yourself to make the best impression.

“I thought your car broke down?” Jimin asked Taeyeon.

She shrugged, giving him a smile which didn’t quite equate to her sister’s. “Taeil gave me a lift here, but she’s got a flight from Incheon and so I needed a lift back.” Jimin didn’t look happy, and so Taeyeon changed her battle plan. “Anyway! Taeil’s got some very exciting news for us. I thought you’d want to hear it from her, Chim.”

Taeil gave a high, tinkling laugh. “It is rather exciting, I must admit. Do you remember Alexei Lebedev?”

“The soloist?”

She nodded. “He had to move back to Russia on short notice.” She giggled, holding manicured fingers to her lips. “Something about getting his old girlfriend pregnant. Anyway, the US Ballet needs two danseurs in the Nutcracker, and I might just have suggested to Frank that he should choose you two. He wants to audition you.”

“When?” Asked Jimin. His voice was cool, but you saw the slight excitement. He exchanged a glance with Taeyeon, who smiled dazzlingly at him.

“Tomorrow.” Taeil answered. “In Los Angeles.”

He frowned. “That’s a ten hour flight.”

If Taeyeon’s smile was dazzling, Taeil’s was like a solar flare. “Don’t worry, I’ve booked you guys a flight 3.30 p.m from Incheon today. You’ll get to L.A. 9.30 a.m. That gives you time to freshen up and maybe rehearse once or twice before you see him at 3.00 pm next day.”

A waiter delivered you your coffees, but your mind was spinning too fast to register.

Oh no, that could only mean one thing.

“We’ll miss the review.” He said it more like an observation than a problem.

Taeil shrugged. “I remember Amour reviews. The two I went to before I got into the USB. They’re not that great.”

“Yeah.” Taeyeon nodded. “There’s some pretty crap dancing in there.” Her eyes suddenly flicked to you. Mocking, teasing. Something nudged at the side of your thoughts.

“We’re up against Jinho and Hyejin, Taeyeon.” Jimin spoke up, stirring his coffee. “You’ve been going on about it for months.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. “I haven’t, besides, we know that everyone wants to see Jin and Dawon do it. It would have way more comic value.”

Taeil gave a high, tinkling laugh. “Father versus son would be more interesting.”

You looked at Jimin, trying to hide your expression behind your coffee cup. He still looked uncertain, maybe there was hope. “Isn’t there another day we could do this on?”

Taeil shook her head. “It was the only time Frank had available, besides, Jimin, school life is so slow in comparison to a real dance company. We don’t have time to gradually ease you guys in. If you get it – and you will – you’ll be into rehearsals straight away. We go on tour in two weeks. We can’t afford to waste any time.”

“Don’t they have anyone in the Corps who could move up?”

Taeyeon patted his arm. “Jimin, you know that you’re better than any of them.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the question, Taeyeon; why isn’t Frank Rebrevae putting up someone from the Corps? Someone who’s already in the company.”

She tried to appeal again. “Jimin – ”

“This is the one hundredth anniversary of the Nutcracker.” Taeil butted in. “People want to see stars like the Shinn sisters and Park Jimin. They don’t want to see some unpolished corps members so damned excited about their promotion that they wet their tights before going on.”

Jimin looked away distastefully at her words. “I suppose I get your point. I don’t like it, though.”

Taeyeon grabbed his hand. “Jimin this is a chance to get in early. If we do this, we’ll skip the open auditions and we’ll skip the years of being in the corps. We’ll go straight to soloists!” She grabbed his other hand as well, looking earnestly at him. “Do you seriously want to be in the corps? To do exactly what everyone else does? To be restricted, there’s no room to add your own flair in a corps. You won’t be able to dance like you do here.”

Taeil nodded along. “True fact, Jimin. I’ve been through it. It’s no fun.”

For a moment, you stepped out of the conversation. You looked at the bigger picture. You saw two girls coaxing Jimin into doing something, using all his weaknesses. Gently turning him in the direction they wanted him to go in, but why? Why were they so desperate? Maybe it was just for Taeyeon, but you sensed it was something else.

“And what about the review?” Jimin was back to his – and yours – key concern, though for different reasons. “We’re in two of the dances, Taeyeon; maybe we can let Dawon and Jin use one of their old pas de deuxs, but we can’t just leave our class. We’ll screw up all the choreography.”

You were distracted for second, almost snorting into your coffee.

“They’ll live, Jimin.” Taeil spoke up. “It’s a school review – it’s not like they’re auditioning for one of the world’s top ballet companies, is it?”

He raised his eyebrow. “This just shows me as an unreliable jerk, Taeil. Not a reputation I want to have.” He took another sip of his coffee.

Taeyeon glanced anxiously at Taeil, who replied with a meaningful widening of the eyes.

Taeyeon stood up. “Sorry, gotta go to the ladies. I’ll be back in a sec.”

As soon as she left, Taeil sighed and reached into the silver Gucci handbag at her feet. She brought out a thick envelope and slid it across the table to him. “That’s the plane tickets, the location details and the letter from Frank.” She leaned in lowering her tone. It was as if you didn’t exist.

“Jimin, please, do this for my sister. You’ve been with her since she came to Amour. This has been your goal and hers since you found each other. I know she’s not as.” She looked down at her hands. “As capable as me and Tiffany, but she’s still good, and you know it. Take this chance – you don’t know if it’ll come again for a very long time. I get that you’re all for equal opportunity, but this is something you deserve. God knows you guys work your asses off.” She shook her head. “Just do this – for my sister and for yourself.”

Jimin stared at her, narrowing his eyes slightly. Maybe he saw that something wasn’t quite right. That they were too desperate, but then he slowly nodded. “Fine, Taeil, but it won’t be for you. It will be for Taeyeon’s prospects alone. I know you only care about your family’s reputation – don’t spring that sisterly love crap on me.”

She gave him a curt nod in return and they both leaned back.

Taeyeon returned shortly afterward.

“Jimin’s agreed.” Taeil told her, giving a smile which reminded you too much of the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland.

“We better get going.” Jimin suddenly said, while standing up. “It was good to see you, Taeil.”

Taeil smiled again. “You too.” Taeyeon got her bag and we began to head for the door. “Oh, and Jimin!"The two of you turned back around. "Don’t worry about the review.” She glanced at you for a split second. “You won’t be missing anything.”

Jimin returned it with a raised eyebrow, and pushed the door open.

What was she up to?

It was as you walked out into the rain that your memory was violently yanked back to two nights ago. The studio. Rehearsing with Madame Choi. Taeyeon. Taeyeon’s face at the door, coming in. Madame Choi telling her. Telling her about your solo…

That little…

Jimin was helping her into the front seat. You quickly got into the back, strapping on your seatbelt. So that was why the artistic director, Frank Rebrevae, could only do it tomorrow. That was why Taeil was posing it as a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’.

Taeyeon didn’t want Jimin to see you dance.

It was as if, she knew. Or at least, she thought, like you, that Jimin had some connection to you. It was as if Jimin saw you, he might leave her.

'Jimin broke all his rules when he danced with you. You can imagine how Taeyeon might’ve been a little concerned.’

Dawon’s words. Well apparently Taeyeon was concerned and she was going to drag Jimin away.

“Do you think we should wear the same costumes?” She was saying right now in the front. “I was thinking something less glitzy, seeing as it’s not a performance.”

Oh no, they couldn’t do this…It wasn’t fair…

Perhaps because Taeyeon seemed to believe it as well, your resolve about Jimin was stronger than ever. That he had felt that connection, and your dance which you’d worked so hard on could really show him, but that didn’t help if he wasn’t going to be there.

You had to tell him, but if you told him then he would guess how you felt and if you were wrong about how he felt. Then you would be the world’s biggest idiot. You’d be a laughing stock and realistically, you probably were wrong, but if you didn’t tell him then you had no chance…

Your mind kept going round in circles the entire drive back. Taeyeon chattered easily in the front. Jimin said only a little, he just nodded from time to time, though not necessarily when Taeyeon had actually asked him something. His thoughts were elsewhere. You looked at his expression in the rear-view mirror. It was dark. Brooding. Dangerous.

When you finally drove through the gates – they opened automatically for him – You were on tenterhooks. Your thoughts had gotten you some where. You had to tell him. Tell him that the review was important to Dawon and the others. That they’d be disappointed. Oh, but it was so damned obvious, he would see right through it.

“Just drop us here, Chim.” Taeyeon said as you pulled up at the front door. “I don’t want to get my clothes wet.”

“Sure.” He murmured, putting it into idle.

Taeyeon got out, hurriedly grabbing her handbag and slamming the door.

You didn’t budge.

“Don’t you want to get out?” Jimin muttered, staring straight ahead.

“No.” You told him. “I need a walk.” Oh, you were going to make an idiot out of youself.

Jimin drove back down the driveway, but then took a concealed right just before the gates. It was a small cobbled road which led through the trees to the car park. Jiwoo had pointed it out to you on our tour.

“Thanks for the coffee.” You said as Jimin manoeuvred into a spot.

“You’re welcome.” He switched off the engine.

You quickly got out, hugging your bag to your chest, as if it would protect you.

By the time you’d shut the door, you realized Jimin was already walking away, back down the drive.

“Jimin!” You called out. Your nerves made you giddy. You ran to catch up with him, though he kept walking, his hands in his pockets. You got on level with him, two of your strides matching his.

“What, (Name)?” He said harshly, not looking at you.

You stopped midstep. The words that were meant to come out – the ones about his friends, about the review – didn’t. Instead, you found other words pouring from your mouth. “Why can’t you talk to my nicely for once? Why have we never had a decent conversation? Why can’t we talk to each other without storming out? Why don’t you ever look at me and Eungkwan in class? And in the dining hall?”

You hardly noticed you were shouting. “What the hell have I done to repulse you so much? Was I that bad a dancer? Why can’t you just talk to me? Without chastising me or telling me I’m inexperienced? I’m your freaking age! You have no right to treat me like I know nothing! I’ve seen just as much of life as you! It’s not all freaking pirouettes and auditions! Even if I can’t dance like you, I’m still just as intelligent! Why can’t we just.” You suddenly felt very tired. Sick of all of it. “Just talk.”

Jimin stared at you calmly. Too calmly, he just watched you as your breathing levelled out, and your balled fists loosened a little. He looked at you and you knew it was over. “This is about what you said earlier, isn’t it? About me dancing with you in class the other week?”

Your heart turned to stone. You nodded, feeling more of a child than ever before.

He took a deep breath, clasping his hands behind him. “I can see why it’s upset you like this. I know you know I don’t demonstrate, and I can see why that would give you reason for thinking something out of the ordinary, but it wasn’t. I knew you had lost any confidence in pas de deux after what Kihyun did. I’m your teacher, (Name), it’s my job to make sure you have confidence and skill in partnering. I was only repairing the damage that Kihyun had done. I had to show you what it could be like, and, judging by your words earlier, it worked. A little too well.”

The wind swirled your hair around your face. Every pain you had felt in your  life was nothing compared to what you felt now. Nothing. Because now every single thought that you had had since that dance had to be remade. Because Jimin hadn’t felt anything. Because now you saw clearly; he was just your teacher. Everything he had done – reprimanding Minjee, helping you trust Kihyun, even now, rescuing you from the rain – it had all been because he was your teacher.

“Why did you stop coming to classes?” You asked him quietly.

His face was blank. “Several reasons. One I already told you the other day when you had your concussion – I danced with you as I would have with Taeyeon, simply because you seemed as mature and I was used to partnering like that. It reminded me why I didn’t demonstrate – I’ve never been quick to lower standards, and dancing with people with little experience is frustrating, but at the same time, I know that teachers have to demonstrate in some way. Mistress Hyejin was always picking on some unlucky boy to demonstrate with her.” He said with a slight smile. “I’m not cut out for teaching, (Name) – not really.” You swallowed, trying keep in control of your raging, despairing, weeping emotions.

He continued. “Then there was also all those people who suggested. Other things about the two of us.” Your mind flashed back to the next morning, when those girls had asked you if Jimin and you were an item. “I’m in the eye of a lot of dance companies at the moment, (Name) – the US Ballet’s not my only option. It’s not that great to have rumours flying around about this sort of thing. I figured that staying away was the best course of action.”

You looked away, down at the stones and wet leaves. “But it wasn’t.” You whispered.

“No, it wasn’t, and I will always regret what happened to Jiwoo and to you, (Name).” You ignored his words, the pain in was just too much. A few minutes ago, they would have given you an outrageous thrill. They didn’t now.

“It was stupid of me to stay away, but I didn’t like what had happened.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “It doesn’t matter, (Name) You just need to know, before I go away to Los Angeles tomorrow, that the dance meant nothing.”

He began walking again.

You didn’t follow.

You stood in the wind and the rain, all your strings broken.

You didn’t need some stupid solo. You didn’t need him to be here tomorrow. It didn’t matter…

Your dance, it meant nothing.