tentacles

Our party arrived at a much esteemed boss fight, involving a 115ft tall crystalline titan. Everyone was on edge, yet the fight went normally for the first turn.
… until one of our players tried to summon tentacles as a part of her skill and critfailed. You can guess what happened.
Two more people failed checks while trying to help her out and were dragged in, resulting in the boss finally speaking up with “Look, I’ll stop attacking you if you stop… that.”

Some other quotes from that fight: 
“Shoot me, please.”
“I would, but I’m now blind.” - In response to above.
“NOT THIS AGAIN”

… and that’s the story of how we ruined an arc’s ending with an impromptu tentacle orgy.

Roll for Seduction (Part 1)

Context: We’re on a gnome-built ship, trying to discover and get rid of whatever has been sinking their ships as soon as they leave the harbor. It turns out to be a couple of homebrew aboleths-on-steroids.

Early on, our elf rogue suggests seducing the tentacles (homebrew aboleths on steroids) just to see the DM’s reaction.

Many rounds later, while a tentacle is thrashing around through a hole in the cargo hold, our elf cleric decides to actually go for it.

Cleric: Do I know the mating call?

DM: No, you wouldn’t know it.

Monk: You do have the crown of languages though.

Cleric: Oh, right! I want to try to seduce it speaking its language.

DM: O…kay. Roll for persuasion.

Cleric: Okay, that’s a 17.

The DM looks kind of uncomfortable, and the whole group bursts into laughter.

DM: The tentacle calms down and kind of gently brushes your shoulder. Roll a constitution save.

Cleric: 6.

DM: You’re now diseased. Also it now wants you to follow it into the water. *makes a come-hither motion to approximate the tentacle’s movement*

*more group laughter*

She subsequently fails a wisdom saving throw, is charmed, and follows it. (Fortunately the disease leaves her able to breathe under water.)

Hentai Spell and College Experimentation

Background: I find it amusing to refer to Evard’s Black Tentacles as either Evard’s Black Tentacles of Forced Intrusion (because reference) or simply the Hentai spell.

Starting the session with recap:

DM (me): And right where we left off you all were caught in the Hentai spell fyi, your characters have no clue what that is.

Beat (the Bard)’s player: it’s an elvish term

Me, laughing: alright, an elvish term meaning porn, only used by the BDSM community though

Beat’s player: it is weirdly common amount high elves though

me: not that they will admit it.

later, the party has regrouped with the npcs who are stuck in the same place as the party and are updating them on what happened. Two of them actually knew the castor who temporarily captured the main party because they all went to wizard college together, but one is MIA and the other is asking the party for information to see what has changed about the castor.

Arden (Warlock): and she cast Hentai on us

I start to switch out of character before realizing

Arden’s player: She’s an elf she’d know what it is.

Nai (NPC): I’m very aware of that. I think P'hol has access to that through the guild.

Everyone cracks up as I realize what I said.

Nai: Not that they would ever use it.

Arden: You never know with the quiet ones.

Nai: No, P'hol is definitely not the type.

Arden’s Player: Oh shit, I thought that was out of character.

I shake my head.

Nai: I’ve uh, tried to convince them before.

awkward pause

Beat: Well thank you for opening up to us.

Yana (Monk): We should get moving.

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fathomlesslife
 Octopus eggs hatching 🐙

The male octopus has a modified arm called the hectocotylus, which is about a meter long and holds rows of sperm. Depending on the species, he will either approach a receptive female and insert the arm into her oviduct or take off the arm and give it to her to store in her mantle for later. In the latter scenario, the female keeps the arm until she lays her eggs, at which time she takes the arm out and spreads the sperm over her eggs to fertilize them.

The female meticulously cares for her eggs until they hatch, forgoing food the entire time. She blows currents across the eggs to keep them clean and protects them from predators. The eggs might incubate anywhere from two to 10 months, depending on the species and the water temperature. Once they hatch, they’re on their own – one source cites an estimated 1 percent survival rate for the giant Pacific octopus from hatchling to 10 millimeters. Depending on the species, some octopuses begin life as miniscule specks floating on the ocean’s surface that drift down upon reaching a larger size, while some start out a bit bigger on the ocean’s bottom.