Okay, so I want to take a second and talk about Jujubes. I know a lot of you are probably thinking, what the hell is a jujube, which is exactly what I was thinking when my friend @icouldbereadingnow pulled out a box of them during a gathering of our Homestuck cosplay squad.
I’d been reading homestuck to her and she just got through Calliope’s introduction. She noticed the boxes of Jujubes scattered across her floor and decided to buy some for the squad to try.
This was a mistake.
Looking at he colors Jujubes come in you’d probably guess their flavors are grape, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Pretty standard, right? But no. If you read the package you will discover that Jujubes do not come in pedestrian flavors like orange and grape. No, instead they have violet and lilac. Which means that orange fucker is flavored like a purple flower.
This is pretty incredible on its own, but that doesn’t even get to what it actually is like to eat them. To chew them is to glue your teeth together. Once you finally manage to wrench your mouth apart and swallow the abomination, some of it will still be concreted to the sides of your teeth for another ten minutes. Although the flavors are generally muted, If you make the mistake of eating more than one flavor at once, especially if one of them is the godforsaken “orange” one, you will discover that they clash wildly. You can only despair as they cement your jaw together, leaving you to stew in the conflicted floral flavor. This is the fate you must resign yourself to.
After we tried these abominations, @icouldbereadingnow admitted that she probably shouldn’t have had much hope for the food preferences of someone who eats glitter and raw meat.
I just got cool kitchen stuff today, and the first thing I wanted to do was make my own ice cream parlor. That was when I found out that you can’t buy the cartons of ice cream. You have to make them yourself. That is why I bring you my newest buffet table. It features ten different ice cream flavors that spawn randomly on the table. (I still haven’t figured out a way around this.)
The flavors included are: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, butter pecan, rainbow sherbet, lemon gelato, taste of diet, blue moon, twin roses, and plant matter.
This buffet table requires City Living and Cool Kitchen Stuff.
Okay so this is kind of a fuck customers story but also a holy hell creepy customers story. TL;DR at the end if it’s long enough.
So I work at the Land of the 31 Flavors. It’s still a new job for me but I got everything down pretty fast and within the first couple weeks they trusted me with a store key. I was working a Saturday night (we close at 10:30 instead of 10 on Friday and Saturday) and it was about 10:15, I’d been ahead of schedule for closing so I was really just waiting to actually close. Out of nowhere this giant truck/ all-terrain vehicle barrels through the parking lot and parks, badly, right up next to the front window. Five guys get out, four of them sit down on the path furniture, one comes in and buys something. They all seem to be around my age, give or take a couple years (I’m 19).
So this guy comes in, looks around for what was apparently nearly ten minutes, orders two flavors that he admits he’s never tried, and goes out to sit with his buddies. I’m clear to lock the door now, so I walk around to the front, lock the door and pull the plug on the open sign, and get along for the rest of my close.
Except about ten minutes later, I look over to see if they’re all still there, and all five of them are staring at me through the window.
Keep in mind that at this particular store the staff is almost all girls, so we get creeps now and then, and most of us coworkers are pretty close so we have each others’ backs. But I was closing alone that night, and I wasn’t about to walk out the front if they were still there.
So I take my time closing. We get around to 11:45 and they’re still there, looking into the store at me every often. So I texted the opener for the next day to let her know that I hadn’t set the alarm and was going out the back, and I outlined the story. I lock up, turn off all the lights, and go out the back door and around the building to the parking lot.
Just as I’m about to get into my car, I hear one of the guys say,“Hey, where’d she go?”
supergirl, post-season 2 finale, alex/maggie, the danvers sisters, 1k, first in a series of “maggie doesn’t say yes” fics
Maggie doesn’t say yes.
Maggie says, “Babe, I love you so much, but we are not getting engaged right now. You are figuring out where Kara went and we are watching movies and spending my entire paycheck on food to cheer her up.”
Alex blinks a few times. Swallows. She has to clear her throat to say, “Yeah. Yeah, right, good idea.”
Maggie catches her by the arm before she can turn away. She holds Alex’s face in both hands and presses their foreheads together.
“I love you, Alex Danvers,” she whispers. “But we’re not getting engaged because your sister had to send away some boy who you never thought was good enough for her anyway.”
A tear slips down Alex’s cheek but she chuckles.
“When we’re ready,” Maggie says, “just us, no one else. When we’re ready, and the world isn’t ending or about to end or just saved from ending. When it’s just us and we live together and we’re ready, I’ll say yes, okay?”
Alex pulls back to look at her. “You want to live with me?”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Maggie says, because she does, God, she does, but they can’t make this decision right after the world almost ended. “Let’s find your sister first.”
Can I request the rfa and the minor trio trying to get 707 to stop being an idiot and be with mc? I saw your one with baehee and it was 💯💯💯 xoxo rfa-confidential
Thank you very much! The Baehee one was a lot of fun to write and so was this one, so thanks for requesting it! I hope that you enjoy!! :3
Yoosung knew by the first conversation that you and Seven had together that you were meant for each other
Even though he was majorlyslightly jealous, Yoosung still felt that the two of you were a perfect fit for each other
So when Seven is being an idiot and starts pushing you away even after the whole Mint Eye fiasco, Yoosung decides that it’s time for him to help out
Yoosung goes over to Seven’s home and insists that he needs to talk to him about MC
Once he let him in, Seven had never seen Yoosung so angry before in his life and boy does Yoosung let Seven have it
“It’s obvious that she loves you and you love her Seven so stop being a dummy by trying to push her away and go tell her you love her! You two deserve each other got that?”
After hearing Yoosung’s ‘encouraging’ words, Seven decides to man up and finally go to you and profess his love for you
A week later, Yoosung was walking past a local cafe and saw you and Seven happily chatting, making Yoosung smile and feel accomplished
Yoosung then texted Seven later on ‘You owe me big time for motivating you, I’m expecting triple the rewards in LOLOL along with a months supply of Honey Buddha Chips!’
Zen never understood how anyone could get Seven’s ‘unique’ humor like you did
Of course Zen wanted to get to know you better and maybe even ask you out on a date, but he realized that you and Seven were meant to be
So when Seven decided to push you away even though the two of you clearly had feelings for each other, Zen came up with a plan
Zen invited both you and Seven to a nice restaurant to celebrate his upcoming musical that he got the lead role for
You and Seven were directed to a table for only two, leaving both of you confused and the atmosphere awkward
Seven then heard his phone ring and answered it to hear an angry Zen
“Seven you need to man up and stick with MC! It’s obvious that the two of you love each other so stop being an idiot and enjoy the night with her. And no matter what, don’t leave MC.”
Zen hung up on the shocked Seven and smirked from his hiding spot when he saw you and Seven start to chat and laugh together
But Zen’s services came at a cost and while he left the two of you alone at the restaurant, Zen texted Seven ‘You’re welcome for the pep talk. I’m expecting tickets to a Broadway show along with helping promote the newest musical I’m in. Enjoy your night!’
Jaehee always thought that you and Seven would be the perfect couple since the two of yours humor was a little… odd
But Jaehee still thought that the two of you would be cute together and was secretly routing for you two all along
You and Jaehee ended up becoming good friends after the party so you and Jaehee planned a small girl’s day together
She noticed how sad you looked and asked what was wrong and you told her that Seven was pushing you away again, making you wonder if he really loved you
After hanging out with you, Jaehee went to find Seven, who happened to be visiting Yoosung to play some LOLOL and explained to him the situation
“MC really loves you Luciel so why don’t you just admit your feelings and love her back? You’re really hurting her Luciel.”
When she noticed Seven wasn’t listening and continuing to play the game, Jaehee’s eyebrow twitched and she snapped, taking a hold of Seven’s arm and twisting it back painfully until he listened to her
Seven yielded and agreed to take better care of you which made Jaehee smirk and return back to her own home leaving a very sore Seven and a very stunned Yoosung
Jaehee saw on the messenger a day later that you and Seven went out on a date and by the looks of the photo he posted, both you and Seven looked genuinely happy
She smiled to herself happy for the two of you but Jaehee still texted Seven saying ‘I’m glad that you finally listened to me. Now as a thank you present, I want you to convince Mr. Han to give me a weeks vacation and I want some imported coffee beans.’
Jumin had always noted how good you and Seven got along on the messenger
The humor used between you and Seven confused Jumin to no end
But Jumin was genuinely happy that Seven found some like you to be happy with, especially since it meant that Seven would leave Elizabeth the 3rd alone
So when Jumin heard that Seven was pushing you away even after everything the two of you went through made Jumin upset
He invited Seven over to his penthouse, something unheard of to Seven, to discuss with him what was going on
After securing Elizabeth the 3rd away from Seven’s grasp, Jumin sat down with the younger man to talk with him
“Luciel, you need to get it together and be with MC. She deserves to have someone… unique like you in her life. You know as well as I do that both of you care for each other so go and be with her.”
Jumin then got you and Seven tickets to dinner and a show to let the two of you enjoy yourselves
When the night arrived, Jumin had a security guard watch over the two of you and when the guard reported back that the two of you were enjoying themselves, Jumin felt happy
Jumin then took out his phone and sent Seven a text with a satisfied smile ‘I’m glad that you’re enjoying you night Luciel. For my form of payment, I want a ten thousand word essay explaining how sorry you are for how you treat Elizabeth the 3rd by Monday. Have a good rest of your night.’
After everything you and Seven went through, V wanted nothing more than for the two of you to be happy
Even though V wasn’t on the messenger too often, he could clearly see that you and Seven were in love with each other
But V noticed that Seven was pushing you away to apparently keep you safe, but V knew better
Since Seven looked up to V so much, the older man called Seven one night to tell him how wrong he was acting
“Listen Saeyoung, I know that you think hat you’re keeping her safe but you’re wrong. I know for a fact that the two of you love each other so please, don’t push her away and be with MC. Trust me, you do deserve happiness with her.”
Seven took a few days to mull over V’s words, eventually realizing how right V was
A week later, V was at the park taking some nature photos when he saw you and Seven walking together, laughing and looking genuinely happy
V gently smiled and sent Seven a quick text saying ‘Thank you for listening to me Saeyoung. The only thing I want from you is to continue to cherish MC. If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask. Enjoy your day Saeyoung, you earned it.’
As much as Saeran hated to admit it, he secretly thought that you and Seven were the cutest couple
After finding out the truth about what really happened in the past, Saeran knew that Seven deserved to be with you and to share happiness together
Even if the two of you were a weird couple, Saeran still enjoyed seeing the two of you act like complete idiots, it actually made him happy himself
So when Seven started pushing you away again, Saeran knew that he had to do something to stop his idiot of a brother
When you left in a fit of tears one day, Saeran grabbed Seven’s shirt collar and told him
“What is wrong with you?! Why would you feel the need to be an idiot and push MC away? It’s so obvious that you love each other and it pisses me off to see you acting this way. So quit being an idiot for a minute and go get MC back.”
Seven was never one to turn down a request from his younger brother and realized that Saeran was right and maybe he did deserve to be happy
A few days later, Saeran woke up to find a note pinned to the table telling him that you and Seven went out for a date thanks to him and that they’d be home later
Saeran felt truly happy for his brother and smiled mischievously as he whipped out his phone and texted his brother ‘Good thing you listened to me. I want ten different flavors of tubs of ice cream by the time you get home. Have a good date idiot.’
Vanderwood never has, and probably never would, understand the relationship between you and Seven
He thought that Seven was the most annoying slob on Earth so how did he manage to get a girl like you in his life?
It’s probably a question that Vanderwood would always ask himself but nevertheless, he still thought that the two of you made a nice couple
One day while Vanderwood was cleaning up Seven’s living room, he heard shouting from Seven’s room as you left, slamming the door shut and ran into the bathroom
Vanderwood’s curiosity got the better of him and he knocked on Seven’s door and went in to find a sad looking Seven
He knew immediately what happened, he knew that Seven was always like this since he was his partner
Vanderwood sat down next to Seven and crossed his legs while folding his arms as he told Seven in an annoyed tone
“Why do you always insist on acting like an idiot? It’s painfully obvious that the two of you like each other so stop pushing her away. And remember if you keep being an idiot, I’m not afraid to use my taser.“
Seven laughed at his friend’s “pep talk” and went to made amends with you while Vanderwood smiled triumphantly to himself
A few days later, Vanderwood saw that you and Seven had made up and were currently on a date and since Vanderwood knew that Seven was happy, he decided to take advantage of that and tested Seven 'I hope that you have a good time with MC today. For my payment of expert advice, you’re going to clean your own house as well as mine. Better get that maid outfit ready.’
“This isn’t an intentional bribe I just happened to be baking at 4am.” The voice startles Natasha who freezes on the sofa she’d just strewn herself gracelessly onto. Her eyes snap open and her body tenses. But there’s not eminent death, the voice is unknown but no one is attacking her so they can’t be here to hurt her. Lazily as if she wasn’t just startled she turns her head toward the kitchen stark had set up in their common area. The young woman standing there is holding a dripping whisk over cookie sheet and has flour smudged across her forehead. The likelihood of death shrinks even further in Natasha’s mind. She arches a brow. All her questions in one. The girl must belong here. She’ll know.
“I’m Darcy, I help with the Science! and make cookies at odd hours.” She says and slowly splatters more dough onto the sheet. Both her hands stay visible and she’s moving in measured movements like she knows she’s started the assassin and is trying to prove she’s a friendly.
“Bribe?” The word comes out rougher than intended but Natasha hasn’t spoken in a few hours and needs a drink. The girl relaxes and begins to form her cookies more confidently.
“It’s just that, Well I’ve mastered the Eye Twitch . I’m good. But Barton? Barton has achieved this like Vein Forehead Bulging thing that makes the Eye Twitch look mediocre. And you get it, I can’t be mediocre next to Clint. But nothing bothers Phil enough.”
Natasha smirks and lets her head fall into the back of the sofa to watch the curious girl.
After that night, Natasha watched Darcy charm the hell out of every Avenger to cross her path with a mixed batch of stubborn acts of Bad-Assary and adorableness.
Clint and Thor were wooed by her tasering of Thor and ceaseless bitching about her Ipod in a time before Natasha. Clint loves to bring up the seven different triplicate filed forms she submitted stating how the thift was unnecessary and just freaking rude. Clint of course has a weakness for people who are bitchy via paperwork so Natasha counts him as an easy win.
Steve Rogers, however is not an easy win. He’s sad and grumpy lots of the time, and working the rest of the time. So he doesn’t care for the seemingly flippant girl at first. Eventually Steve falls into her clutches when they’re mid battle and Darcy, who happened to be downtown to meet some friends, rushes to the front of a crowd of trembling civilians and told the monologuing Doctor Doom to “Get Bent” before lobbing a rock at the tallest and ugliest robot that was probably meant to be RoboBear or something similar. Darcy’s defiance makes the stern Captain bark out a laugh into the stunned silence before he can stop himself. Doom turned in Rage to the man laughing at him and the New Yorkers emboldened by the brunette begin throwing anything not tied down at the monsters.
After that the Captain laughs more. He smiles down at Darcy like she’s a miracle and he’s not sure how he got so lucky to have her near. Natasha understands that more than she’d like to admit. Darcy’s 4AM cookies have bribed more than the girl intended. Thankfully it doesn’t become an issue when Steve admits one day during lunch that she reminds him of Bucky.
Darcy of course preens a little and pinches Steve’s cheek.
“Awwweee you big nerd!!!”
Bruce had been a slow turner as he is in most things. She brings an array of teas by his desk swapping out the cups while he mutters and scribbles like a mad scientist. Natasha watches with interest as Darcy buys a thousand and ten flavors and Bruce drinks them all without complaint, even tho he only enjoys a few. Then orbit each other like that for the longest time but when Bruce turns up to the gym one morning for Yoga to find Darcy drooling lightly onto a mat, he’s done for. She had tried to catch him at it many of the previous days and had only been met by the smells of freshly put of candles and his rolled up mat. So She’d gotten up even earlier or perhaps went straight from 4AM Natasha time to the gym to stake him out. Natasha suspects this as Darcy’s shirt is still a little icky form where she wipes her hands on it after she cracks eggs.
Bruce looks at Natasha and then fondly back at the brunette before shaking his head. Sucker, Natasha thinks, but can’t fault the man because she knows she’s hooked too.
Tony’s probably the easiest and it honestly could have gone either way. Everyone’s passing threw the kitchen in search of some form of breakfast. Steve’s fresh in from a run and Natasha had only just woken up herself but not Tony or Darcy. They’ve been up all night doing Science! They’re not even here for food really just coffee. They blunder toward the coffee pot and sort of have a stand off when they realize they others goal.
“We’re on a 36 hour break thru” She says calmly. Tony frowns thoughtfully.
“I just got off a plane form Tokyo” He counters.
“I live next door to Thor and Jane and they bang a lot.” Steve chokes on whatever he was eating.
“Pepper made me sit in chair meetings?” He offers weakly. Darcy’s eyes light as if she knows she’s going to win.
“I had to take loans for my degree and I’ve never ridden in an Aston Martin ” She says smugly. Tony blanches and waves her ahead.
“We can fix that if you ever get done sciencing,I’ve got a few in the garage.” Tony offers searching for his blend at the back of the cabinet.
“Nice I’ve never had a sugar daddy before! Can we make it like a sugar uncle tho? because I’m on an no dude diet” Steve chokes again. Tony however laughs.
“Yea kid no problem” He switches the filter not looking at Darcy. The brunette gathers her victory coffee and leans in to kiss Tony on the cheek.
“Thanks Tony!” and she’s off like a breeze threw their airtight tower. Tony adores her.
It’s during 4AM cookie time when things change again for Natasha. She wonders into the kitchen to find Darcy baking but also drinking heavily. The brunette hic-ups loudly and grins at the assassin.
“Welcome to my midnight kitchen Tasha,” Darcy waves her spoon around in wide fast motions, a glob of batter flings across the face of the fridge.
“What’s the occasion?” The red head nods at the bottle. Darcy grabs is and examines the label as tho she had forgotten it was there. She hums slightly with a frown.
“It was a courage shot, but I think it’s closer to a courage bottle now” She admits placing it slowly back on the counter. “Oh Darcy,” She rests her elbows on the counter and her head in her hands. “messing things up” She sighs.
“I don’t think you need that for courage, little one, you are incredibly brave” Natasha says kindly. Darcy snorts and pops the spoon into her mouth.
“Not about you” Darcy says around her spoon. “Just wanted to say I love youu” she muttered her cheek still packed with dough and a spoon. Her eyes water slightly in the dim lights of the night. Natasha’s heart clenches with a sudden and strong hope.
“That’s very good news, but I think you should tell me again in the morning” Natasha says taking the spoon from her mouth and pulling Darcy’s hand to bring her closer. The brunette folds effortlessly into Natasha’s arms and the red head smiles into her curls.
“This isn’t an intentional bribe but I just happen to have Gatorade and painkillers in my apartment and you’re gonna want it in the morning.” Natasha offers.
“Awwe isn’t that what I said to you? You’re so cute Tasha, cute and funny and smart and you helped me make Phil’s forehead do the thing” Darcy taps her temple with an adoring smile. Natasha chuckles and presses her lips to Darcy’s temple lightly.
Hi mama! How do you picture the Levihan family??? 💖
Chaotic. I think they’d have like two or three children, all adopted. Levi would be in total control of the kids, but as soon as he’s out of the house Hanji and the kids wreak havoc and do all kinds of bullshit like gathering all the mattresses in the house to make a trampoline in the living room, making ice cream shakes out of ten different flavors, painting a room with paintballoons and so on. Levi would then, after a week or so of this happening decide that Hanji has to go working so he can stay at home with the kids.
God I love your writing it's so great and your portrayal of the characters just draws me in and makes me want to know everything I'm just such a sap for domestic fluff. Especially RexObi in the b99 au. Like I just wanna know what their married life is like. What's their downtime like, what do their wedding rings look like? What did they have for dinner? Who says I love you the most? What I'm trying to get at. Is you're brilliant and you draw me into the world.
Friend, how are you so sweet thank you so much. Domestic fluff is my jam and there is a real possibility I will write like a 20k fic where they go grocery shopping and argue about the best way to pick out produce.
Their wedding rings are just simple platinum bands, although you just know Anakin and Fives tried to convince them to use like shitty 20 cent rings from machines or a ring pop.
“I know you’re being facetious,” Obi-Wan said, “but just in case you convince yourself this is an actual option, I am not giving Rex a ring pop.”
“First of all, talk like a normal person,” Anakin said. “And who’s being facetious? I even found a blue one for your special day.”
“Blue is not a flavor.”
“Then what flavor is it?” At Obi-Wan’s frown, Anakin said, “Ha! You don’t know, do you?”
“It’s not blue,” Obi-Wan said.
“Yes, it is!” He shoved the ring pop in Obi-Wan’s face. “Admit it! Admit blue is a flavor!”
Ten minutes later found Shmi stepping around Anakin’s desperate attempts to prevent Obi-Wan from throwing the ring pop out the nearest open window.
“It’s so good to have you boys home again,” she said, and went to pour a drink.
Hello everyone! It’s me again, bringing you a happy helping
of ‘what the fuck am I even doing
dear Gaia WHY?!?!’ As you have undoubtedly heard by now (or, if you haven’t,
congratulations on hearing it for the first time!), Secret World Legends will
now have Elite Dungeons added into the Group Finder! These Elites are not,
however, your Grandbee’s Elites! I know, because I got to test them. So the advice I’m giving is based on practical experience!
I'm so sorry to be That Person but I love your headcanons and I want to hear more so I'm here to inform you there's like....ten different flavors of Game Fuel and like twelve Kickstarts and I hate that I know this but if you wanted to make a ton more headcanons for all those I am Here For It
I am all here for headcanons my dude, I have nothing off the top of my head (sinceits4am) but if any of you have suggestions please send them in and i will 100% post them and share them
“in 2007, we were recent college graduates who wrote a business plan for a company called ‘greens.’ we wanted to create a healthy fast food restaurant, a place that fit our values. we signed a lease for an abandoned burger shop, got local food from the farmers market, blasted music in the store, and sought to make it fun — we knew that healthy food didn’t mean you needed to compromise flavor.
ten years in, we’ve got 75 locations and a family of 3,000 team members who cook up real food from scratch every day and we’re supporting 250+ small and midsize growers. it’s been a sweet ride, and we can’t thank you enough for your support over the years — thank you for being part of this journey with us and for living the sweetlife.” – nicolas, nathaniel and jonathan, sweetgreen co-founders