I can’t do submissions without it looking like I’m just posting them but I need to say:

I’m a good person and I don’t deserve this. I pay my taxes, I brake for animals, I have done volunteer work… This nightmare fuel is the work of evil.

I don’t want to see Tinkie’s winky!

Does anyone else get amazed by their own mental tangents? Like I’ll start off thinking about one thing and end up so far away from it.

Then I’m left trying to deconstruct it and retrace my steps like how the hell did I get from Telly Tubbies to the Cold War???

The Klutz Curse

Summary: You and the Winchesters tackle a witch case

Characters/Pairings: Sam, Dean, You

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: none

A/N: So here it is, almost two weeks late. But Here. It. Is. @seenashwrite‘s 200th Follower Challenge. Archer Meets Supernatural. I had fun with this one, partially because Archer is fun but also because this fic is just a mess of any humor I could stick in at any chance. So there’s that. Also thanks to my best bestie @impala-dreamer for looking it over me and restoring some confidence in my personal humor bank. Hope you guys enjoy!!

Butter fingers! The insult rolled off your tongue like a loose gobstopper, hitting the sweet spot on the tip before gracing Dean’s ears.

“Lay off!” He wasn’t having it. None of it. But he had dropped the remote, his cup of motel coffee, and Sam’s computer–all in the span of a couple hours.

You didn’t lay off. Instead, you snickered and winked at Sam, who huffed and shoved his protected computer into his bag before smiling to himself when he thought no one else could see.

“Shut up you two! Focus on the case!” Dean threw his arms out in frustration. The keys to the Impala flew out of his hand like a rogue frisbee and smacked the wall. There was now a key sized dent where a wallpaper flower had been.

Keep reading

Shouto: *watching TV* “So that’s how they do that”

Izuku: *walks by and sees what he’s watching* “OH GOD”

Bakugou: “What the hell are you screaming about Deku?” *sees it and pukes*

Shinsou: *walks in with a cat and covers its eyes* “THINK OF THE INNOCENT ONE”

*cue very weird sounds from tv*

Shouto: “Hey get your hand out of there, that’s very unsanitary!” *yelling at the tv*

Ochako: *walks in* “Ok who let him watch Tellie Tubbies again?”

Mornings (Avengers Preferences)

I have a science exam tomorrow shite

anyways, enjoy


Steve Rogers/Captain America

Not even seventy years as a freezer block was enough to wipe the soldier routine out of Steve system. Everyday at 6AM, he will wake up (without an alarm, scarily enough) and go for a run. Sometimes, having your own personal alarm clock gets irritating, but on the mornings when he wakes you up with coffee and breakfast already made, it becomes slightly less so.

Tony Stark/Ironman

As a what-he-calls recreational drinker, Tony only ever drinks when he throws parties. But, he’s Tony Stark, so the parties are periodical events. On the mornings when he’s hungover, you’ll smack him with a pillow, then get yourself ready. If he’s not awake by the time you’re leaving, you’ll pour ice cold water on him. Actually, that’s every morning. Not just the hungover ones.

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier

Bucky tends to have nightmares, and consequently, a lack of sleep. On the nights where he is deprived of it, he’ll wake up in a really groggy mood, and won’t use phrases with more than three syllables (two of which are usually swear words) until he has coffee in his system.If he gets a good nights sleep, he’ll be like the damn sun from Telly Tubbies, and will have pancakes and everything prepared, but you’d never complain.

Thor Odinson

‘I am going to set my alarm for seven, then I shall be productive and wonderfully rested in the morning’ He will say. Seven o’clock will come, he will break the alarm clock and then go back to sleep until Midday. The annoying part? He tends to sleep with you under his arm, which weighs a ton, so you can’t get up until he does. But does he do it on purpose, to keep you with him? Most likely.

Loki Laufeyson

Loki is a little ray of sunshine in the morning. He won’t do anything productive until he’s certain he’s the last one still in bed, and by the time he’s actually rearing to go and ready to face the day, it’s dark again.

Bruce Banner/Hulk

Bruce’s sleeping pattern is really odd. He’ll have perfectly good nights sleep some nights, and he’ll wake up at the crack of dawn, trying to wake you up in the gentlest ways possible. On the rough nights, he’ll still do the same, only he’ll go straight to the lab and an hour later you’ll find him passed out with his face pressed against a test tube and a Bunsen Burner dangerously close to setting his shirt on fire as he sleeps.

Clint Barton/Hawkeye

You know that annoyingly happy morning person? The one who wakes up, sings Walking On Sunshine in the shower with a shampoo beard, and then tries to wake you up with smiley face pancakes? That’s Clint.

Natasha Romanoff

Nat is programmed to wake up at the crack of dawn, quickly get ready and be presentable within half an hour. Since she moved in with you, she’s become way, way more relaxed. She’ll still be ready to leave the house, only she’ll actually have had time to make coffee for the two of you, walk the dog and go for a run. So all in all, mornings aren’t too unbearable.

Wanda Maximoff

Wanda Maximoff has never woken up early enough in the past year to actualy experience a morning in all it’s glory. She’s immune to the blaring alarm clocks, so you kind of just gave in. So your sleep schedule has become so messed up that you two are only just dozing off when Clint is waking up to bless you with his early morning renditions of old songs in the shower.

Pietro Maximoff

Pietro has the ability to sleep in until literally three minutes before he’s meant to leave the house. Then he can whoosh round and still look like a damn model, meanwhile you’re stood at the sink with a toothpaste beard, a brush stuck in your hair, trying not to fall asleep. It’s great.

Sam Wilson

Sam’s mornings depend on how much he’s worked. If he’s been doing the late shifts, there’s no point even trying to wake him up before dinner. But when he’s got a good amount of sleep, he’ll easily be up at 6:30. But is he a morning person? Oh no. He’ll be grumpy and huff at everything until you wake up and join him, which always increases his mood.

anonymous asked:

J, K, L, and R S and T

J- jellyfish (specifically the ones from finding Nemo)

K- Kittens, I’d love to be a crazy cat lady too

L- Liv @high-functioning-fangirl02 obviously I mean she’s my boo


S- San Diego. Fuckin beautiful there istg I’m so excited to goooo

T- telly tubbies bc my childhood revolves around tubby toast and wondering what Tinky Winkybwas gonna do next 😂 also btw there’s some creepy game I wanna play that involves them

anonymous asked:

hc where little!dan and daddy!phil are fucking, and dan gets scared bc of how rough/aggressive phil is being so he uses the safeword but phil doesn't hear him and keeps going, and afterwards dan is crying and is really scared of phil?

-Dan pulled on the restraints, keeping his wrist above his head too his headboard. He squirmed crying under the black blindfold phil had on him.

-everything hurt, his lower back and bum, his cock which was red and his balls were turning purplish. He couldn’t breath. Everything was too fast for him. He couldn’t think. He tried to call out the safeword for Phil desperately so, but he was too weak.

-Phil was still relentless fucking in too Dan not hearing his weak mumbles of that seven lettered word.

-after twenty minutes Phil had finished pulling out and leaving everything going too get a towel and Dan’s jammies.

-He came back turning the vibrator on Dan’s cock off and pulling it off. He wiped Dan’s chest and stomach only now noticing the tears and cries from Dan of the word he shook his head dropping the towel and pushing the blindfold off. His fears were right when he saw Dan’s red eyes snotty nose and tears that had soaked in the blindfold he shook his head.

- “Baby boy I’m so so sorry-” he continued apologizing reaching too untie the restraints

-Dan jumped up as soon as the restraints were undone pulling on his Pokemon boxers and running out.

(^^^ Optional sad ending or happy vvv)

-Phil got up wandering through the house collecting a bunch of blankets and pillows in the living room floor, he got ice cream, crisp and all his little’s favorite snacks putting them on the lounge table. He went to find Dan finding him curled up under the gaming desk.

-he finally coaxed the boy out and down stairs setting him in the soft pile and helping him get his tellie tubbies pj shirt on. He stood up turning on one of Dan’s favorite cartoons. Sitting outside the fort and apologizing quietly handing Dan the food and making sure he didn’t make a mess.

-Dan soon, hesitantly and softly allowed Phil to climb into the mound of softness with him and hold him.

-after a few more hours filled with winnie the Pooh, tellie tubbies, rubba dubbers and a bit of free! Cause even little Dan loves his anime, they were both curled up drifting off in the pillows and blanket.

-”I’m sorry Danny I love you”

-”it okay now daddy. I’m okay.” He fell asleep without another word phil soon following.

(Rubba dubbers is a real cartoon its lit)