tell your mother i hate you

anonymous asked:

Dean x reader 12 please? ❤❤❤❤

12.  “You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

I am so sorry this is so late but here it is! I hope you like it!

If you want to participate for my 500 follower challenge, you can do so here

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The Signs Hold a Crying Baby

Aries: WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WILL IT STOP IF I SHAKE IT MAKE IT STOP WHERE IS THE MOTHER

Taurus: Keep your tears inside your eyes where they belong, you pathetic excuse for life

Gemini: Continues the one sided conversation, “so I said to Tom, I said Tomas, that’s MY fucking sandwich- wait, is it okay to cuss in front of a -what am I saying, you don’t understand words yet- anyway I said to him…”

Cancer: *is the Crying Baby* 

Leo: Worry not, I will calm you with my talent for, uh, singing, “rock-a-bye baby in the -” baby: *screams louder* leo: okay well, fuck you too

Virgo: Gross pls tell me this thing didn’t poop OH MY GOD IT POOPED GET IT OFF GET IT OFF

Libra: Smiles and patiently calms the child, artfully hiding their discomfort and disgust, thinking “why the fuck do people keep making these things I hate them I hate them I fucking hate them ughh”

Scorpio: *glares* shut the fuck

Sagittarius: Tbh if you were my kid, I’d probably “forget” you in a shopping cart at the grocery store… shit, where is your mother? Don’t tell me she-  HEY LADY, YEAH YOU, COME GET YOUR KID

Capricorn: Calmly sets the child down and walks away forever

Aquarius: According to some scientific studies, crying indicates that in later life, the infant will adapt qualities of…

Pisces: Me too, kid. Me too.  By the way, it only gets worse from here…

I’m tired.

I’m tired of heartbreaking poetry about heartbreak. I’m tired of bored souls feeling sorry for themselves. I’m tired of ex-lovers regretting their selfish decisions and I’m tired of reading about their journeys to find cheap reasons to excuse the mess they made. I’m tired of reading about old men’s experiences with cigarettes and alcohol to forget and escape what they do.

I’m tired of reading about how you resent your mother for no real reason even though you lived with her for almost your entire life. I hate how tell yourself your mistress was your true love, when you were the reason she drowned in narcotics. I’m tired of you telling yourself the love of your life would be better off without you as an excuse to leave her- bet you didn’t know she was about to kill herself, bet you still say it was for the best.

I’m tired of you, filled with so much self-importance, so much drama, so in love with your sadness.

I’m tired of you, and your failed attempts to fill a hole in yourself, trying to be someone else, selling parts of yourself, mourning everything else.

I’m tired.

—  undo-ing
an incomplete list of lines in aftg that will always fuck me up

“Did you know I’ve never been skiing?”

“I told her what would happen if she raised her hand again. She had no right to look so surprised.”

“His father. Your coach.”

“Who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.” / “I was seven,” Andrew said. “I believed him.”

“If it means losing you, then no.”

“Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural.”

“Good,” Neil said quietly. “So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother.”

“Do you honestly think that if I wanted to kill someone, whether it was myself or someone else, that I would fail so spectacularly at it so many times?”

“Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”

“I’m tired of being nothing.”

“Would it kill you to let something in?” “It almost did last time.”

“Neil? Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”

“Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.”

“Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay.”

“You are a Fox,” Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.

“Wait, he chose Neil over you? That sounds a little serious for a fling, don’t you–” Nicky glanced at Neil’s blank face and faltered. “News to you too, huh?”

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”

“I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”

“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.

MOBILE MASTERLIST

I haven’t updated this in about 9 billion years so I’d say it’s time I updated it… Because there are so many reactions, I’ve put all of them under the cut!

As of February 5, 2017…


~ = TRIGGER WARNING

* = SEXUAL CONTENT


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It’s been 3 long years on my fitness journey. This journey has many different stages physically and mentally, but one things for sure you’ll look back at your before picture, and tell your body “I love you and thanks for coming this long way.” It’s not easy, but by sharing this I hope to inspire someone to not give up. My mother hates when I use this photo for comparison because she knows how criticizing people can be but leave that for the girl in 2013 to care what people thought/think. I’ve worked hard to become the person I am now, and I share this to inspire/motivate others that it is possible and the body is fascinating with what it can transform to. I’ve still got some work to do but for now happy #transformationtuesday ! God bless, rooting for ya! & a thanks to those who shared their journey and lit a flame for inspiration in others and I ❤

IG : fitnessinfocus2016

Random bits from Carrion Crown

Magus: I need alcohol, for medical reasons.
Oracle: Get this man a six pack and a hot tub, stat!

Monk: I’m giving out advice, hot chocolate, and punches to the face.

Magus (to an NPC): You’ve met my mother. You called her sir.

GM: The bar is the Rusty Dragon. It’s a franchise! Like McDonald’s, but for drinking.

GM: Your check tells you about Family God-I-Hate-These-Names.

Monk: The halfling is now two quareterlings.

The Signs Hold a Crying Baby

Aries: WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WILL IT STOP IF I SHAKE IT MAKE IT STOP WHERE IS THE MOTHER

Taurus: Keep your tears inside your eyes where they belong, you pathetic excuse for life

Gemini: Continues the one sided conversation, “so I said to Tom, I said Tomas, that’s MY fucking sandwich- wait, is it okay to cuss in front of a -what am I saying, you don’t understand words yet- anyway I said to him…”

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In my class we have a worm day. If they promise to be gentle and not tug, they can hold one of those beautiful squiggly caretakers of dirt. The wonder they have for it is so real - and I say, did you know they have 5 hearts and love you with all of them. Then I say, “are you holding a boy worm or a girl worm” and they guess. They are all right, and they are all wrong, because worms are both. And I say that. I say, “they are just like people; sometimes not a boy or a girl but something in between, or sometimes they’re both on different days. And they still love you with all 5 hearts.”

“Cool,” says one kid. “I don’t want to be a boy, I want to be a girl sometimes.” And I say okay.

Children are taught fear. They are taught that the worms are gross. It isn’t until they’re a few years older than my class - up in 3rd or 4th grade - that they start shrieking at my little worm friends. They won’t play the silly games or sing the silly songs or even promise not to tug. A fourth grader hears my lesson about gender and says, “That’s so weird,” and suddenly I hear from the mouths of these beautiful children, “Yeah,” “this is weird,” “No, mine is a girl.”

It is not the 4th grader I blame. It is the person in her life that saw something beautiful and ruined it for her. It is the “put that down, it’s gross,” “you don’t want to get dirty” “there’s us and there’s them.” I want to show her - without the humble little blind noses of worms, we are nothing. We need them. Did you know if they grow a belt they’re over a year old! Spent tunnelling through the secrets of roots. I want to show her: it’s okay if tomorrow you feel like a boy or maybe something neither, something different that is entirely you.

But fear, once discovered, is not an easy stain to get out. We say, “What will we tell the children” and forget - the children already heard. They heard you snickering about the person down the street. They saw you talking to your friend about “those people”. And they internalize it, burrow it into them. We don’t tell the children, we model hatred until the children can’t hear you, can’t hear you declare, “do as I say, not as I do.”

Later the 4th grader goes home. “Ugh,” her mother says with a shudder, seeing my box, “I hate worms.”

Reggie Mantle x Reader: Book of Truth, Mouth of lies.

Request:

Can you make a Reggie imagine where y/n goes with Kevin, Veronica, Betty and Ethel to find the playbook and sees their name in it, but there’s a -2 or something indicating that Reggie caught feelings that’s why he lost points you can figure out what happens next.

Request:

Hey could you do an imagine with Reggie were you two are together but you have to hide your relationship because you aren’t very popular and they would bully you and laugh at Reggie if the football team found out.

A/N: When I received these two imagines I had this idea in my head that I couldn’t ignore, so I decided to group them. Hopefully you guys enjoy and that the requestor’s are happy with what I came up. Also I changed my username/url is now MantleIsMagnificent and my personal is my old url Imtrying13 you can follow me there too if you want (I will follow back), but requests please send them at my Riverdale Blog. Again sorry for being a bit slow I’ve been sick and have been busy with uni thanks for understanding, please enjoy. I can maybe see this going into a second part what do you guys think, comment down below.

Words: 2398, wow okay I think this is my longest one.

Summary: Reader is daughter of the principal at Riverdale High (No Not Weatherbee, the one in the show is nothing compared to the sweetheart in the comics). Your mom is Principal that’s the only reason you have been hiding your new found relationship with Reggie Mantle or is it? Veronica gets Sticky Mapled by Chuck and you help them on their mission to find the playbook.  

Spoilers: Chuck is an asshole.

Warnings: Just read my fellow Reggie lovers.

 

You grew up in Riverdale although making friends was a bit hard growing up since your father was a teacher and your mother the principal both working at Riverdale High. Plenty of kids in town didn’t talk to you because they thought you were a snitch, which you weren’t; but you never really had a chance to get rid of that title since that was exactly what you were about to do.

But the exposure of the news you were about to reveal was the right thing to do for all the girls who have harassed by boys who didn’t know what respect was. These news were also going to expose the secret you had held so dear to your heart, your relationship with Reggie Mantle.

__

You sat on the couch in the student lounge with your new friend Veronica Lodge, your good friend Betty Cooper who never let rumors get in the way of your friendship which rooted from your childhood, also Archie and Kevin who you also knew since the beginning of time they were all your childhood friends.

You guys rambled your way through whatever topic came to your minds and every other second you would glance at your boyfriend Reggie with a smile as he sat in a table with his teammates as he smiled back at you.

You weren’t really popular because of your mom being in charge of your high school, you were the target of plenty pranks that the students would get away with because you didn’t want to be a snitch because then all that would conclude is that you were exactly who they branded you as. With that you kept your relationship with none other than Reggie Mantle a secret. He was a popular and you were exactly the opposite. You decided on that because of your parent’s job titles and didn’t want them barging in and Reggie didn’t want you to get bullied anymore.

“Sorry can’t tonight, I got a date” Veronica drew you out of your thoughts.

“With who?” you cheered at the raven haired girl who was new and already got asked out on a date.

“Chuck Clayton” she smiled

“Oooh, congrats” Betty smiled.

“He’s kind of a player Ron” Archie grimaced.

“Who cares?! It’s like going on a date with a Kennedy of Riverdale” Kevin butted and you chuckled at his comment and with that the bell rang and you all scurried to your last classes.

__

“Are you two decent?” you spoke with a hand covering your eyes as you made your way into your mothers office at the end of the school day.

“(Y/N)! We’re on school grounds!” your mother squealed and your dad chuckled at your comments.

“Mom that still doesn’t stop plenty of the students here” and your parents stared at you with grossed expressions on their faces “Kidding” you continue sitting down in of the chairs in the office holding your arms up.

“So what do you need me for?” You asked them.

“We’re gonna be late tonight” and you smirked at them in which your mother continued “Not like that! Your father is going to help me with some budget stuff, he is your math teacher (Y/N).”

“You gonna be good honey?” your father asked.

“Yep, today is actually tutoring day remember?” you replied.

“Oh so today you’re with Mantle?” your father retorted with ‘the dad look.’

“Yes dad, and it’s just tutoring” you lied “If your class were easier I wouldn’t have to tutor the guy, but it is and you shouldn’t be complaining when you cheer them on almost every other weekend on their games because without him your beloved bulldogs would probably lose” you stood up for your boyfriend.

“I retreat” he joked as you gathered your things to leave.

“Go straight home after okay honey” you nodded at your mother as she stood up and placed a kiss on your forehead.

You hated lying to your parents, you wanted to tell them about the boy that made you melt every time he looked your way, but you couldn’t take that chance.

__

Reg: hey baby practice is over, on my way 😍

You: Okay babe on my way 💙

__

Reggie pulled up as you arrived to his home. As he opened the door to his home he gave you a small kiss on the lips and led you in.

“How was your day babe?” he asked as you both made your way to the small table in the living room to help him.

“Good, you know the usual. I get up, walk to my restroom turning on the light then I brush my teeth, walk back to my room and into my closet to find clothes so I can get dressed” going into details about every single second of your day because that always made him laugh “talked with the gang while sitting in the couch in the student lounge sometimes I would look your way as Veronica announced her date tonight with Chuck” you continued to ramble on as Reggie made an annoyed face.

“What?” you questioned.

“Tonight I’m going to see how the new girl likes syrup” Chuck cockily spoke in the boy’s locker room.

“Don’t you think it’s time you give that up Chuck, if anyone finds out about that playbook” Reggie retorted annoyed at his teammate.

“No one is going to find out, right?” he placed a hand on Reggie’s shoulder as he nodded to Chuck “Good because if they find it you’re going down too, your name is there too with the principal’s daughter” Chuck gave a devilish smirk.

“I never agreed to that Chuck” Reggie spoke angrily pushing Chuck off.

“Yeah well it’s a rite of passage softy, and that’s the only girl we’ve seen you with. Plus if she wasn’t then why haven’t seen her around you. Unless you caught feelings for the girl which I doubt because we’ve caught you guys three times and when we ask you deflect which probably means she’s a booty call or something” Chuck spoke with venom in his words.

“Just drop it Chuck” Reggie shot back trying to ignore his comments knowing if any of this came out he would lose the one thing that was amazing in his life as he left that locker room and headed to see his girl.

“Hello, Earth to Reginald” you called as you placed your hand on Reggie’s hand as he twitched and you snickered distracting him from his thoughts.

“Sorry got distracted by your beautiful voice” Reggie spilled pulling you closer to him as he planted a kiss on your lips and hovered over you on the floor you were sitting on.

The kiss turned to a heated make out session soon to be interrupted by your phone blowing up with text messages.

“Sorry I have to get that, it’s my mom’s ring” as Reggie removed himself from on top of you.

Mom: Hey baby girl did you eat something?

           Remember where going to be late tonight.

           Get home safely, Lock up the house.

           We love you, sweet dreams in case we don’t see you when we get home.

“Everything good?” Reggie pointed out not recognizing the look on your face.

“Yeah, it’s just you know ever since Jason and the police not catching his murderer yet my parents have been even more protective, I mean I understand it, but- idk” you answered with sorrow in your eyes because you know Jason was Reggie’s friend.

“I’m sorry about Jason Reg I- I shouldn’t have brought it up” you stammered as you pulled him into a tight hug.

You both finished up your homework and he drove you home to keep your mothers wishes to get home safely.

__

The sun rose into the day when you were about to lose the boy you never knew could break your heart.

You arrived the school the next day. It was all okay until Cheryl’s minions called your friend Veronica a slut.

That word, a word so cruel that it should’ve never been invented and can shatter a girls reputation.

Come to find out Chuck ‘sticky mapled’ Veronica and then everything happened so fast, Ethel fessed up that Chuck did the same to her and then many girls came forward about plenty of guys in the football team. The same team that Reggie took part in and your heartbeat pace became faster. Hoping that Reggie knew nothing about this playbook they were talking about, that the boy you loved couldn’t possibly have taken part in it. He couldn’t have, not everyone sees it but he was just the most caring, lovable, and misunderstood boy with the heart of gold. Maybe that reputation you saw of him was about to be shattered.

“(Y/N) you’re coming with us to find the book, well lookout really” Betty claimed.

“What? You realize how hard it is to sneak out of my house especially these days” you wanted no part in this mission, but you had to do it Veronica was new but she was now one of your closest friends and all these girls deserved justice.

“(Y/N) you’re the principal’s daughter, you have to have a pair a keys or your mom or dad must have a spare” Veronica chimed in and you nodded “Just tell your mom you’re staying with me tonight for school project or something.”

__

The plan was set, you were at Veronica’s house waiting for her mom to fall asleep as you snuck out and met up with Kevin, Betty, and Ethel.

You were on lookout and of course had keys to school, Veronica there hell-bent on revenge, Kevin another lookout, Betty with a phone ready to take pictures and ready to expose the dirty work of the football players that took part of this disgustingly terrible deed, and Ethel because she knew where the book was.

You turned your phone off ringer as you kept lookout just in case there was any security guards around. Being on lookout you didn’t see the messages Betty had just sent you. As they made their way to you Betty welcomed you into her arms with a worried and sad expression on her face and you returned it with a puzzled look on your face.

“What’s up Betty? Did you find it? Anything juicy for your newspaper?” she didn’t respond and everyone looked away not wanting to meet your eyes. Betty decided to hand you the book and opened it to a certain page and pointed.

She talked, her mouth moving throwing apologetic words at you, but you didn’t understand. The room was spinning, your heart was sinking. Everything about the boy you loved was a lie. You dropped the book, threw the keys at them and rushed out of there as soon as possible.

New plan, you were on a mission. A mission to figure out why he did what he did to you.

You arrived to door of your boyfriends’ home knocking frantically knowing he was alone because his parents were out of town. Boyfriend, maybe you won’t have that anymore. Soon to be met with his mesmerizing smile that almost made you forget what just happened, but how could you forget that the person you learned to love was now the person who betrayed you and played with your heart.

You forgot how long you had been standing there as you pulled out your phone opening the images Betty had sent you and placed the phone in his hand.

He stared at the phone, shocked knowing there was no way out of this situation, sorrow creeping on his face.

“I- I can explain” He stammered.

“Can you? Is this why we were a secret? I was just a pawn on some sick twisted game you and those assholes play, what you thought your dating the principals daughter as your ticket out of trouble?!?!” you questioned holding back your tears trying to sound as strong as possible.

“No (Y/N), I LOVE YOU” he shouted this was the first time he said those words and you wished you heard them again, but not within this context “I didn’t mean for this hurt you, I swear. It was stupid I never meant you or even me to be a part of that stupid book. Chuck heard about our date and they almost caught us again. I wanted us to be secret so nobody could hurt you and I lied and Chuck twisted it up.”

“So you would rather objectify me in the cruelest way you could than own up to dating me really? Wow so much better Mantle” you gazed at him wishing that this never happened.

“N- No, I’m sorry, it- it was wrong what I did, I was stupid believe me I know, but (Y/N) I- I can’t lose you, you mean the world, hell the whole damn universe to me” Reggie spoke with regret filling the air as he stepped closer and held your hand.

That touch that electrifying touch that sent butterflies all over your body.

“You know Mantle” he gave a sad look knowing you only ever called him that when you were mad at him “I wish that was enough, I wish that I was enough” you kept your voice in check not wanting him to see you weak because of him.

“You are babe”

“No, no I wasn’t enough to make you own up to dating me rather than this, and what sucks the most about falling for you is” he kept his eyes on the ground “Falling for a guy knowing I was never right for him, but hoping just maybe things will be like the movies, and he’ll be amazing, except this isn’t a movie and I fell for you Reg and now everyone is gonna know this tragic story” and he finally looked you in the eyes a bit confused as he placed a hand on your cheek.

“I hope you enjoy your newfound popularity, because this is Betty’s exposé for the schools newspaper, and I’m not gonna stop her. I’m gonna get justice for all those girls. As for you” you grabbed his hand took it off your cheek “You take care and have a nice life Reggie Mantle.”

Those being the last words you’d ever speak to him, awaking to a morning or reckoning.

 Tag: @sgarrett49 @casual-ellipsoidal

satifying moments in the falsettos cast album
  • SLAVERYYYY, SALAVERYYY
  • his name is MENDEEEEEEL
  • i’ll pay the biiiiill untiiiiiil you’re old
  • AND STILL THE BASTARD DIVORCED ME!
  • oh what a lovely table, such a romantic table!
  • WHY DON’T YOU FEEL ALRIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? (x3)
  • whyyyy is he aaalways heeeere?
  • i’m not a giant man but i’ll love you until- love you until I DIIIIIIE
  • yes i feel guilt, yes i’m annoyed, so was jung, so was freud!
  • god i’ll tryyyyy, tryyyyyyyy, i’ll cry
  • life’s a sham and every move is wrong, we’ve examined every move as we move along
  • clip the coupons, make the dinner and looooove hiiiiiim!
  • god bless our home!
  • YOU DIE ON may 27th at eight!
  • my father cried “you’ll MARRY”
  • it’s the 80s! (yabadabadah) ooh, the 80s!
  • the whole thing’s voodoo, and i know more than you do!
  • it’s been so long since i could tell!
  • for the first time in months, nobody dieeeeeeeeeeeeed!
  • saving lives, i feel INVINCIBLE! YEEEEEEES IIIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOO!
  • “DO YOU KNOOOOW HOW GREAT MY LIFE IS?” “yes i knooooow great your life is!”
  • you save lives and i save chicken fat, i can’t fucking deal with that!
  • where’s the heat? where’s the fire? used to be your desire to FIGHT, so FIGHT!
  • do you knoooow? all i want is you! anything you do is alright-
  • “go ahead and kill your mother!” “not with guns, but kill you mother
  • everyone hates his parents, now i see why…
  • but not a word about the killer!
  • yes, thats my life!
  • i love friends that hover!
  • let’s pretend that nothing is awful
  • to go out without care, my head high in the air, it’s the last little mountain i’ll climb… i’ll climb!

feel free to add more!

  • Scout Aesthetics: Fresh laundry. Hot dogs for dinner. Cold pizza for breakfast. A really good haircut. A joke so funny that you cry. New shoes. The CRACK! of a baseball on a wooden bat. FOMO. Peppermint chewing gum. Runner's high. Your first crush.
  • Soldier Aesthetics: Pine trees. Cold dew on a summer morning. MRE's that don't taste like paper pulp. Cornfields as far as the eye can see. Screaming at the sky late at night. Turkey with stuffing. White bread in a plastic sleeve. Getting gum on your shoes.
  • Pyro Aesthetics: Scented candles and burnt popcorn. Fresh-cut daisies. Drawing with charcoal. Sun bleached bones. The smell of gasoline. Gel pens. Your favorite animated movie. The scapegoat. Not caring at all.
  • Demoman Aesthetics: Butterscotch and sulfur. Rolling meadows of grass. Sand in your shoes. Fried fish in a greasy newspaper. Fireworks on a warm summer evening. Wool turtleneck sweaters. Being double-dog-dared to swim in the lake during winter. The best hole-in-the-wall pub in the world.
  • Heavy Aesthetics: Dusty old books. Creaking floorboards. Fresh winter snow. A really good sandwich. Finding a new favorite novel. A handmade scarf. Getting a good grade on an assignment. First editions. Going to the natural history museum. Firmly believing why you were put on this earth.
  • Engineer Aesthetics: Breakfast foods. Campfires. The satisfying clicking of clockwork machinery. Reading bedtime stories aloud. T-shirts with math jokes on them. Tuning a guitar. Petting zoos. Knowing your limits. Learning about something that makes you really happy. A cool looking rock.
  • Medic Aesthetics: Antiseptic. Down comforters. Really round fluffy birds. Bad puns. Doing things because you can. Hot tea. Waking up before the sun does. Whistling. Dry cleaning. Fun facts about animals. Really strange nonfiction books. Windy winter days.
  • Sniper Aesthetics: Dirt and black coffee. Climbing a tree. People watching. Road trips. Going to bed and realizing you haven't spoken to anyone all day. Fairy bread. Getting caught in the rain. Really cool scars. Having a story for everything. Polarized lenses.
  • Spy Aesthetic: Vermouth and tobacco. Minimalist cuff links. Playing cards. Hair pomade. Silk ties. Your first love. A passing feeling of emptiness. Heels clicking on polished floors. Crusty dinner rolls with soft warm bread on the inside.
  • Pauling Aesthetics: Lavender hand soap. Gunpowder. Lilac polo shirts. Worn black denim. Staying up late and watching the home shopping channel because you can't sleep. Beat-up firearms catalogs. Telling your mother to return your birthday gift because your workplace has strict dress codes regarding clothing colors, even though you desperately need that new skirt. Finding drawings from when you were a child. Soft wool cardigans. Shiny silver knives. Yogurt with fruit. Hating and loving your job at the same time.
you and strawberries on a lunch break,
kindest excuse for heart palpitations.
chapstick daydream
on the other side of the table.
pencil smudged on the tip of your nose
and I want to be graphite
or ink or paint or anything else
that could conceivably
get stuck that close to your face.

you tell me that your mother
makes you keep your hair short.
you tell me how you’re still stuck living
in your childhood bedroom
with the scalloped, white dollhouse furniture
and all that pink. how it’s like waking up
inside someone else’s mouth.
how you wanted to hate it.
how you don’t.

on our last day of class, I ask
for your number
but I don’t know what to do with it.
so much opportunity folded up on notebook paper
in the pocket of my jeans.
so much pressure, I almost
put it through the spin cycle on purpose.
—  EARLY MECHANICS OF WANT, or BABY’S FIRST GAY CRUSH by Trista Mateer

Neil’s clap backs in The Foxhole Court

  • “You’d better,” Neil said. “Put a leash on your pet monster or I will.”
    “A frightened child like you?”
    “Fuck you, cripple.”
    Across the room Kevin’s face went white. “What did you call me?”
    “I called you a deadweight has-been,” Neil said. 
  • Andrew’s smile curved wider. “Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?”
    “Your mother’s dead. I don’t think she cares what you do.”
  • “Ouch,” Andrew said with a cold smile. “That’s judgmental.”
    “I’m not going to apologize for thinking you’re being idiotic.”
  • “Take a number and get in line with the rest of this team. I won’t lose any sleep over it.”
    “Don’t sleep. I’ll kill you.”
  • It was forever before Andrew answered in German. “That’s unexpected. Did no one tell you I hate surprises?”
    “What makes you think I care?”
  • “I will ask you only once to tone down that animosity.”
    “I can’t,” Neil said. “I have a bit of an attitude problem.”
  • “Palmetto State is a waste of his talents.” “Not as much as Edgar Allen was,” Neil said. Someone in the audience laughed, entertained by Kathy’s mouthy guest. “Your team’s ranked first? Congratulations and big deal. Maintaining a top position is far easier than starting over from the gutters. Kevin is doing that right now. He’s facing entirely new schools and learning to play with his less dominant hand. When he masters it, and he will, he’ll be better than you could ever have made him.
  • Everyone knows the only reason Palmetto qualified for this division is because of your coach.”
    “Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s how Edgar Allen qualified.”
  • Aaron looked at Neil. “When were you going to tell us?”“
    I wasn’t,” Neil said. “After everything I’ve put up with from you this year I figured I didn’t owe you any favors.”
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Tupac’s first verse from “Keep Ya Head Up” 👑🙌🏿🙏🏿❤️

“Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots
I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, if don’t nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don’t cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don’t forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain’t nothin’ don’t believe him
And if he can’t learn to love you you should leave him
Cause sista you don’t need him
And I ain’t tryin to gash up, I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
……He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but you gotta keep your head up”

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Fun things that come with Trichotillomania
  • In an age where mental disorders are finally given well deserved study and attention that they should be getting, you’re pretty much left in the dust. Maybe just sit on your hands or play with a ball or something? We don’t know.
  • ‘’Why don’t you just stop pulling your hair?’’ wow Cynthia I never thought about that
  • Good luck finding any awareness, or anyone who’s ever heard of it in general. 
  • Good luck finding treatment options and coping devices as well.
  • Ah yes, because of literally no one talking about it, you grow up with your parents being ashamed and disgusted by you. Also, them refusing to understand or believe what you tell them.
  • ‘’You’ve been picking again, haven’t you??’’
  • Having your hair grabbed and checked by your mother.
  • ‘’So why don’t you have any eyelashes?’’
  • No ‘’brows on fleek’’ here
  • Your mother going through wastebaskets and finding hair and questioning you about it. Same with vacuum cleaners. 
  • People seeing you pull and asking you why and being quite rude.
  • Fear of someday having another bald spot.
  • Hairdresser terror.
  • Raw eyes where your lashes should be and bleeding where your pubic hair should be.
  • Lifesaving bangs.
  • NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THAT /ONE/ EYELASH AND PULLING YOUR EYELID UNTIL IT GETS RAW
  • ok it’s just a pet peeve of mine but I really hate those edits people do of celebrities or just people in general where they edit off their eyebrows. I know it seems harmless to people, but for someone like me it’s basically just saying. ‘’Look at what an ugly freak you are in society’s viewpoint.’’
  • The shame beanie when you can’t stop pulling
  • Having new bleeding each time you go to the bathroom because you just can’t stop pulling ingrown hairs for some reason
  • Having a ‘’gross’’ condition that can in no way be sugar coated or romanticized as in any way beautiful, so no one talks about it. 
  • Once again the shame from having a ‘’gross’’ condition. 
  • Why are there so many hairballs everywhere did I do this
  • The last time I had a bald spot was when I was about eleven or twelve I think?? But I couldn’t go into public without a bobby pin pulling hair over it and my mom was so upset the entire time I had it. It wasn’t just the fact of the shame of what it looked like. It got sunburned and there were open sores ok.
  • WHEN NO PENCIL, STENCIL OR WAX SET WILL GIVE YOU NATURAL LOOKING BROWS
  • Trichotillomania is a nightmarish condition and the suffers get little to no awareness or help.
  • All the those who suffer from it are beautiful and deserve better.
To Every Anti-Otherkin

You hate and judge us, but you’ve never met us. You only choose to see the bad, not the good. You tell us things that should be frowned upon. You tell us things no person should ever be told, so I now give you all a question.

What would you do if someone close to you was otherkin? Mother, father, aunt, brother, sister, best friend, anyone that’s so close, you don’t know what you’d do without them.

Disown them? Hate them? Tell them to kill themselves? Is that what you would do?

Imagine for a moment, your younger sibling, or your best friend, one who’s never heard of otherkin, struggling to explain to you what it feels like to be a galaxy, a demon, an angel, a god. Would you listen, or tell them to suck it up, they’re human?

Do you think your words have no effect? Well, they do. I shouldn’t have to comfort a crying lover because he’s in fear over the death threats given, the hate, the invalidation. I don’t need to be afraid to put down my phone because he’s fragile, and your words only make it worse.

Now think, how would you feel, if someone told your lover that they are worthless, that they have a god complex, that they are delusional, they’re sick in the head. What would you do? Side with the person hurting them, or protect the one you love? Go ahead, tell me, I’m waiting for an answer.

My opinion of the moon signs
  • Aries: bro u get me. We both cry at least 28 times a day and lowkey hate having feelings. We can't stand showing people that we are actually big babies and we are too defensive but at LEAST WE GET EACH OTHER.
  • Taurus: ur always centered and calm and a lil bab but if you tell me I'm the only person you've told about something (that you've told everyone) one MORE TIME IM GOING TO SNAP.
  • Gemini: yes, I believe in aliens. No I don't think bigfoot has a vendetta against you. I don't get why you just told me your life story but your mother seems like a nice lady.
  • Cancer: you make me feel like a shitty person because I don't like feelings or being empathetic or putting effort towards other people. IT'S WHATEVER THO.
  • Leo: I see right thru you. I'm a Leo. I know why you are doing that. The Validations™. I know. It's me on the daily. You're doing good tho.
  • Virgo: IF YOU DO NOT CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW. They don't care that you said "you too" when they said "have a good meal". EVERY ONE DOES THAT. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.
  • Libra: so hot. hot damg. Doesn't know how to pick movies or if they want a bottle or a can. Over compromising champion of the masses. Too nice to be mean to which is hard on me because I'm mean to those I love.
  • Scorpio: what you think you are- murder death fear me am evil. What u actually are- smol bean and afraid to be hurt again, does the same things that you did before that got u hurt in the first place though??
  • Sagittarius: NICE MAKING PLANS. #cancelled. ALWAYS. Also. Nice use of sarcasm to hide ur feels. JK IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE SARCASTIC REMARK ILL YELL. I'm already yelling tho...
  • Capricorn: emotional lil bab. Stop beating yourself up. Its okay to feel things and its okay to admit that you aren't having a good day. BUT IF YOU SASS ME ONE MORE TIME.
  • Aquarius: IF YOU DISTANCE URSELF ANYMORE YOULL BE ENTIRELY IN SPACE. I admire the fact that you can go a whole 24 hours (three years?!??) without crying. I can't achieve that but I have aspirations.
  • Pisces: S T R E S S. M E. O U T. if you do not like the choice. Why did you make it. You are the controller of ur own destiny. Ily but wyd.