tell them about your softball team

3. Wingman // Nurseydex

« {Part 3 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: sorry, this is two days late, but it’s also almost 3k, so…. hopefully that makes up for the tardiness? also! please note that this fic doesn’t have anything to do with ngozi’s short comic, wingman. your characters are safe. content warning for underage alcohol usage.

This is definitely not what Dex signed up for.

He’d expected Nursey Patrol to involve limiting Nursey’s shots and keeping him from dancing on tables, which, okay, would have sucked, but this is honestly not much better.

“Soooo, have you met Dex?” Nursey says for the third time this night, like imitating Neil Patrick Harris is still funny. He’s dragged Dex over to yet another group of female athletes that he’s going to have to do his best to avoid for the next three years of his college career. Nice.

“Hi,” Dex says awkwardly. “I’m Dex.”

“Pssh, I just said that,” Nursey says, slinging an arm over Dex’s shoulder and leaning on him only a little more heavily than he might have done sober. “He’s usually a lot brighter than this, ladies. He’s a CompSci major­—super smart with computers and shit. Plus all that typing means he’s good with his fingers, if you know what I mean. Just look at those hands—”

“Okay, that’s enough, Nurse. Sorry, you guys, um. Bye.”

He pulls Nursey away from the girls and—fuck, he’s pretty sure one of them is in his Stats class, dammit. Nursey stumbles behind him obediently, letting Dex drag him over to the kitchen. Dex fills Nursey a glass of water and Nursey drinks it dutifully, standing next to the fridge.

“Okay, so remind me why you’re trying to humiliate me in front of half of Samwell’s female population?” Dex demands when Nursey finishes the glass.

“‘M not humiliating you,” Nursey insists, then waggles his ridiculous eyebrows. “I’m trying to get you laid.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can I request for a scenario where Murasakibara's, Iwaizumi's, Asahi's, Kageyama's, Hinata's, Kuroo's, Yaku's, Lev's, Bokuto's, Akaashi's, Matsukawa's and Aone's girlfriend (reader) goes to school in America and everyone at her school thinks she will never have a boyfriend, but she has a boyfriend from Japan. S/o is on the chubby side and she plays varsity softball please. So the guy visits her school surprisingly and watches one of her games and surprises her and a lot of people. Thank you! -K

Murasakibara

Just watching your games and hearing people talk bad about you wasn’t letting him enjoy eating his snacks while watching you play. It was really going to be a surprise. He hasn’t seen you play in a long time and he had never been to America. It was supposed to be a nice visit. Obviously it wasn’t when Murasakibara towers over the group of people talking smack about you, scarying the living lights out of them. In the end, the surprise was ruined because he made them cheer loudly for you. It was strange to you hearing the ass holes cheering so when you looked to them, you were most surprised to see your boyfriend eating snacks behind them as they stood nervously cheering for you.

Iwaizumi

Iwaizumi’s not up for big cheers or anything. He’s more of a silent supporter. He did fly from Japan to America for your game, and he was admittedly excited. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen you in forever and lately he knew something was wrong. You had been acting differently. After hearing a few people in front of him talk smack about you, he gets angry. “She’s so big, how can she even run after hitting the ball?” “Is she rly a regular on the team?” Iwaizumi had enough. So when the people felt his weight shift on the bench, they looked to see an attractive man standing on the benches. Its your turn to bat and they see him hold his hands out. “Cmon, babe! I believe in you!” You were just as surprised to see your boyfriend just as the people find him smiling at you with a thumbs up. After you hit the ball, getting the team the winning point, he looks to the group of people. “I trust you won’t talk about my girlfriend like that again.”

Asahi

Asahi’s not one for talking back. He’s good support. But hearing everyone talking about you made him annoyed. He couldn’t help but look at them with furrowed eyebrows. But nonetheless he watched your game and clapped for you when your team was in the lead. Of course, your team won the game and Asahi surprised you at the outside of the field. Just as you began boasting about your surprise that he flew all the way over, Asahi could over hear the people talking about you. “Wow, you think he really feels bad about how she looks?” “Maybe he’s giving her encouraging words.” Angered, Asahi leaned down and kissed you. It lingered long enough for people to see, become shocked, and stay shocked when he was done kissing you. He even said it loud enough that he was in love with his girlfriend. After you and Asahi walked away from the field, he begins to freak out over the fact what a showy thing he just did.

Kageyama

Kageyama definitely doesn’t like what he’s hearing. He didn’t come all the way to America to hear people say these things about you. He knew you had been dealing with annoying people, but not this often. Kageyama really believed that some of these people came here to just make fun of you. So it didnt bother him that he stomped up to them and shot them menacing looks. “You better shut up or stop talking when my girlfriend shows you how good of a player she is”. Some of them dont even know what to say. They still find it hard to believe that Kageyama is your boyfriend. But when they hear him cheering for you and then they see you guys together, they didnt question it. Especially when you start crying a bit about his surprise.

Hinata

Hinata’s obviously annoyed, but can he be a big hot shot like Kageyama? No. He’s more of an action doey guy than words. He’s a nervous wreck talking smack back to the people, but when they laugh. Hinata gets that super serious face on and tells them the real deal. “You guys are laughing at how good someone on your own softball team is? She’s the reason you guys are even going to win this game.” And sure enough, you are. Hinata surprised them even more jumping off the benches and onto the field to give you kisses. “Forget what they said, I’m here and you did great during the game!”

Kuroo

Kuroo’s extra. SO EXTRA. He hears them making fun of you and eyeing him. It all just pisses him off. There wont be much words left after he goes up to those people talking shit. “You guys are hilarious making fun of the ace of the team just because of how she looks. Maybe thats why you’re stuck complaining about why this hot guy wont look at you, because you all have such crappy personalities.” And after he’ll even cheer extra loud for you to hear. It wont even ruin the surprise. It’ll make it better for you to know he’s here. And after the game, after you’ve won the game for them, Kuroo will put an arm around you congratulate you with kisses. Making sure those insignificant people will eat their words and leave you be.

Yaku

Yaku will handle it the most mature. He’ll just kindly ask the bullies to stop. And then finishing off with something super threatening. “It’s not kind to bully people for their looks. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop talking about my girlfriend like that.” After that the people are quiet. But when I said the most mature, I didn’t say he wouldn’t talk to them again if they were still talking smack about you. No, Yaku doesnt do the whole kiss thing to show you off. He goes around boasting with his nose high up and semi loudly express his love for you and how proud he is for your game and this game was better than you surprising you.

Lev

He’s the most oblivious one to the whole situation. He knows they’re all bullying, but he tries to make it positive. In a way. He’ll sit next to the group, and cheer LOUDLY beside them. When he notices them getting annoyed, he’ll turn to them a bit confused. “I don’t know why you guys are bullying my girlfriend when she’s the main reason your school is even worth talking about. Well, besides you rude people. Back where I’m from, we believe in respect. You all should learn some so you can get some. I think thats a saying here in America, right? ____-san told me about it.” Next thing you knew he’s sweeping you in his arms and proudly holding every curve to you because you’re his fucking adorable girlfriend.

Bokuto

His face says it all. He’s super annoyed. But he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise of him showing up to your game. So, he decided to be more positive. When its your turn to bat, you don’t even know what to say when you hear Bokuto cheering loudly, whistling, and showing his posters with your name in the air. Yes, posters. He asked his whole volleyball team to help with each poster. He had a different one for each time you did something good or bad. No one could believe he was serious, but as you won the game, Bokuto cheers the loudest and yells at the top of his lungs about how much he loves you. He flashes a smile to the people that bully you. “You guys should be nice to my girlfriend, she’s good at softball!” Bokuto may have ended up on the internet in videos of his antics at your game.

Akaashi

Akaashi is calm and collected. He doesn’t believe in being immature. So when he sits next to the people talking smack, he just waits and waits. You win the game, and they still have shit to say. He just wants them to know what a good player you are. So when he calls you out and has a ball in his hands, you hold the bat up. The bullies watch Akaashi throw the ball a little low, but you still manage to hit it almost yards away from the field. They watch the ball in the sky even as Akaashi takes a few steps they slowly look to him. “My girlfriend is a good athlete. You guys should remember that.”

Matsukawa

You wouldn’t believe how hard it was for him to not say something. He really thought he should, but rationally, he believed in your skills to prove yourself. And even then when he knows they’ll still talk shit about you, Matsukawa will shut them up with his own actions. So at the end of your game, he wont even let you have time to process his surprise. He’ll just go up to you hold your face and start kissing you. If you get in trouble with coach, Matsukawa will just blame his culture understanding is different. Hahaha. But he’ll keep kissing you and then look at the people who bullied you. Matsukawa will kiss you again then the trophy you just earned and wink to the people talking smack.

Aone

Who expected Aone to be the quietest of them all? I did. Because he would be. He will also have little words to say to those jerks. He just stares at them with his no eyebrow face and just stare. Stare until they are uncomfortable to even talk after Aone just sits within ear range. No one knows who Aone is, and no one needs to know. When they see you run up to him and hug him after the win, they’ll be even more confused. And then seeing Aone kiss you on the lips for so long, they’ll just squeal with disgust. That’s when Aone says something. “You guys underestimate ___-san. That’s why she doesn’t waste her time with your words.”

I really love Parent Trap style fic where Henry knows how his moms feel long before they do and he’s the one who brings them together. But also, I love the idea that he’s totally oblivious.

This is how I see it going. When Henry turns 18, he goes away to college. And while he’s there, he meets a girl (woman, he can mentally hear both his mothers correcting him) called Raisa. He really really likes her. *Really* likes her. And they start dating and it’s going great only what the hell does he tell her about his family?

He’s well aware that what was cute in an 11-year-old will seem worryingly delusional in an adult so all the fairy-tale stuff is totally out of the question. But without that, how will he explain the fact his grandparents are the same age as his mom? There’s definitely no way he’s telling Raisa that his aunt is the Wicked Witch of the West, even though he made the mistake of telling Zelena about Raisa and now she keeps asking to speak to her, which would be a Disaster with a capital D and all the other letters capitalized and several exclamation marks after it as well.

There’s only one solution: he’ll mention he’s got two moms - no, not like that, it’s a long story, boring though, OK yeah, short version, it was his fault for tracking down his birth mom - and then leave it at that. And he’ll never, ever bring her to Storybrooke.

But after the fifth time he’s been to stay with her folks and and not invited her back, Raisa starts to think he’s ashamed of her, and then she starts to talk about them maybe taking a break and Oh God, so he invites her to Storybrooke.

He sends Zelena 5 emails and two facebook messages and a DM (Zelena *loves* social media) sternly warning her not to use magic in front of Raisa. Because Zelena uses magic at the drop of a hat and that ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HAPPEN when Raisa is staying. He calls Uncle Killian (Emma broke up with him and he started dating Zelena, it was a whole thing) and asks him to maybe tone it down on the leather front. Also there’s a letter to Snow telling her that if she uses the word ‘marriage’ once in front of Raisa he’ll destroy her happiness if it’s the last thing he does.

Amazingly, everyone behaves. Even better, both his moms seem to like Raisa, which he was a little bit worried about (OK, petrified, petrified would be a better word). Mom takes him and Raisa out for a meal at a nice restaurant and Emma takes them for a picnic out in the woods and then they all have dinner together at Mifflin Street with Aunt Zelena and Uncle Killian. And he has to kick Zelena a few times under the table and she *will* keep talking about how much she misses her flying monkeys (her old softball team, he tells Raisa) but basically it’s fine.

Until after the meal, when Raisa drags him to that bench by the sea for a private chat, and his stomach sinks to subterranean levels as he thinks, here is comes, but then she says, ‘Why didn’t you ever tell me your moms are in love.’

Which. What the hell? It’s ridiculous. Except it’s like one of those ‘is it two faces or is it a vase?’ things. Once you’ve seen the faces, you can’t unsee them. And of *course* his moms are in love. It couldn’t be more obvious if they had big flashing signs above their heads and he must be pretty dumb not to have noticed, but there are two people even dumber than him because his moms clearly don’t know either.

So. The whole Parent Trap thing does happen, thanks to Raisa. And yeah, there are a few bumps in the road, especially when Zelena figures out what they’re up to and tries to help. (Truth potions: Never A Good Idea, a story by Henry Mills.) But finally it works, and his moms kiss right there in front of him and Raisa, which is every kind of wrong and embarrassing, and then presumably they start doing other stuff that he isn’t going to think about EVER.

Pretty soon afterwards they’re getting married, because they’ve basically been engaged for seven years. Things get pretty emotional at the wedding, and he’s not surprised to find himself proposing to Raisa, who clearly and objectively is THE BEST. She says yes, he cries and hugs her and hugs her and hugs her and wonders how anything could possibly get any better than this. And OK, yeah, he still needs to tell her about the whole fairy-tale thing, but he reckons after all this, she can probably deal.