DAI Companions React To: My Immortal
So it’s late and Mod Katalyna, Mod Tiarne, and Mod Sarah were fucking around on Skype (again) and we questioned what would happen if the Inquisition companions somehow got access to My Immortal and then this happened. Mods Are Cray. Enjoy.
Cassandra: She’s disgusted and goes on about how awful it is and refers to it only as garbage. She’s found re-reading it inexplicably out of so much disgust she’s interested.
Blackwall: He laughs his ass off at it and tried to play the drinking game with Bull and passes out before the end of the third chapter.
Iron Bull: He laughs at every fucking word. He loves playing the drinking game with it and both he and Blackwall always end up with the worst hangovers after.
Sera: She thinks this is the funniest fucking thing in the world to her. She re-reads it and cackles every time, laughing so hard it echoes through Skyhold. She leaves snippets of it (the worst parts) in places as pranks (usually around Vivienne and Dorian, the tale’s worst critics) and quotes it ironically.
Varric: He’s full-on sobbing with laughter (silent laughter at some points), wheezing and clapping his hands like a walrus with glee. It takes tremendous effort and time to finish it because he’s pretty sure he’ll stop breathing if he laughs any harder. He does dramatic readings in the tavern, often with Blackwall, Sera, and Bull among his audience, all sobbing with laughter.
Cole: He’s so confused by the different reactions to it and have no idea what’s going on. “Why does Ebony hate everyone? They just want to help.“ he asks. “Stop trying to analyze it, Cole!” everyone else tells him.
Dorian: One of two things could happen. Either he sets it on fire the second he understood what horror was before him, or he reads it, laughs, and gets drunk, and then burns it. Depends on how he’s feeling.
Solas: He takes one glance on the inside and tosses it up to Dorian, who he fully expects to burn it. He refuses to comment or acknowledge its existence.
Vivienne: Burns it and sends a very sternly worded letter to the author about their writing skills. She gets a response calling her a prep and is told to stop flaming.
Leliana: She hunts down every copy and destroys it. Her birds are trained to collect it and destroy it. Or just spontaneously shit on it.
Josephine: She refuses to comment. She could not remain composed if forced to comment. She has a lot of feelings about the fic but refuses to let them out because they’re all negative.
Cullen: He pretends it doesn’t exist and ignores any reference to it.
Krem: He reads it out of curiosity because Bull won’t stop laughing. He almost vomits at how bad it is.