tell me i logged out

When every social media platform you log into has Valentine’s Day DLC spoilers

Originally posted by wonderlandforgirls

Adventure time with Myth.

So I’m house sitting for a bit at a place with a super nice tub. You have no idea how excited I am to be able to use an actual tub instead of the sorry ass one I have that can contain about the same amount of water as a plate.
So me thinking about making the most of it decides to go get a bath bomb at lush in the mall.
Now, I think I made it pretty clear by now that I suffer from some serious anxiety issues, particularly being by myself in unfamiliar and crowded areas. But hey, it’s a nice evening and I’ll only need to be out for an hour and in turn I get to super relax after. I got two bus tickets, this will totally be worth it and everything will be great.
Except it’s Sunday and I totally forgot that the mall closes at 5 pm sharp. Guess what time I got there at. Guy closing the doors stares at my sorry ass standing there in -25 degree weather and smiles while he loudly locks the doors and walks away like some crooked ass business man that just got away with tax fraud.

Now at this point you’d think I’d mope back to the bus stop and wait for another bus cause it’s something like 12km back and it’s cold as a witch’s tit out there. But no, I don’t. Why? Cause I’m now mad as hell and also there’s a whole mob of drunk people at the stop. Like hell I’m joining them.
So instead I walk aaaalllll the way back.
Now the roads are absolute shit and not only do I take a hard spill and wind my self, but I also near get run over a few times on the way back (I can’t blame the drivers cause the roads really are that bad).
I’m at the last few km from the house when I hear police sirens. Now there’s always sirens going off in this city but they’re almost always fire trucks or ambulances, but this time not only is the po po, but an entire freaking army of them and their barreling down towards me. I panic (because im tall and I wear hobo clothes and am easily mistaken for a man and police seem to be drawn to me like flies on horse shit) and volt my ass into the graveyard and down a trail before ducking into a game store not far from it to lay low. Just to be sure I take off my hat and jacket just in case and sure enough cop comes and takes a quick look around and is apparently looking for some dudes.
So I’m finally back at the house in the bath (with no bath bombs >BC ) and there’s still chaos going on outside and I am somewhere between losing my shit and achieving true tranquility by sheer power of not giving a single fuck.