Friendly reminder that Patroclus should not be remember simply as “Achilles’ bitch”.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus was a little shit. He had the power, the looks and the skills, and he knew it. Not only he excelled at battle; he did it while taunting his enemies all the fucking time cause he was going to win and he knew it.
Friendly reminder that he was the one guy who got to call out on Achilles, something no one else dared to do. In fact, men went to ask him to call out on Achilles because everyone was scared of him. Except for Patroclus.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus had advanced medical knowledge, something extremly rare at the time. He healed many of his friends and comrades during battle. Hadn’t it been for him, many great warriors would have died.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus was loyal to a fault. He was always by Achilles’ side in battle. He never disobeyed Achilles orders. The one time he did, was the time he died.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus was kind and had a soft heart. He cried because while Achilles’ Rage lasted, he wouldn’t let any of his men enter battle, Patroclus included. And while Achilles’ troops were hiding in their ships, the rest of the Greek army got crushed. Patroclus felt so powerless and helpless because he couldn’t do nothing as he saw his comrades dying.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus had a character crisis. He had to decide whether obeying his Lord’s commands and abandoning his friends in battle, or going against his Lord’s wishes and engaging fight.
Friendly reminder that he refused to stay behind like a coward. He chose to enter battle, but since he was a honourable man he told Achilles about it. Friendly reminder that he managed to sway Achilles’ Rage. Friendly reminder that he managed to convince Achilles to let their troops rejoin the war, thus returning the victory to the Greeks.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus was flawed. He committed hubris. He got so battle drunk and was so excited by the prospect of finally ending the war, that he disobeyed Achilles’ direct command not to fight near the walls of Troy, and chased the Troyans back to the limits of the city. To the place Achilles had specifically told him not to go because it would be too dangerous. Friendly reminder that this one flaw is his downfall.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus doesn’t go down without giving one hell of a fight. Friendly reminder that Patroclus was so strong that Apollo (the God that protected Troy and Hector [Troy’s heir to the throne]) had to face him and repel him four times.Four times. A god. If that ain’t badass, then I don’t know what could be. In the fourth time, Apollo got inside Patroclus’ head and made him dizzy. Patroclus fell and Apollo removed him from his armour- Achilles’ armour. Patroclus ended up unprotected, vulnerable and dizzy in the middle of the battle field; so a random dude saw the opportunity and stabbed his back with a spear. But was that enough to make him go down? Oh heck no. The pain snapped him out of the dizziness. Patroclus realized he was in a very troublesome situation so he decided to fall back… but at that moment Hector engaged him in battle. And Patroclus wouldn’t retire from a direct combat, oh heck he wouldn’t. Even though he knew this was probably the way he would die, he fought with his all.
Friendly reminder that lacking his armor, tired from battle, with a spear wound on his back and only Achilles’ sword left as weapon, Patroclus faced Hector, Troy’s greatest warrior and didn’t fear.
Friendly reminder that when Hector sheathed his spear in Patroclos’ stomach, Patroclus thought about the love of his life.
Friendly reminder that with his last breath Patroclus smiled at Hector and told him “You are a dead man. This will be your downfall”. Friendly reminder that until his last moment, he was a little shit.
Friendly reminder that Patroclus is a flawed, well-rounded, badass character and that he deserves so much more than his current position as “Achilles’s love interest”.
*writing* Oh wow, they are going to love this. This is by far my best work!
*witty lines* *perfect love making* *fluffy enough to kill us all* *a dash of angst, a smidgen of hurt/comfort*
Oh man. This is it. This will be my legacy! *sweats into fic* *bleeds into fic* *cries into fic* *spends days perfecting the grammar and verbage and sex scenes* *has 15 betas look over it*
Okay. It is finally time to release my baby on the world. Here you go fandom. You're welcome.
Ha, cute. *like* *kudos*
* * *
same fanfic writer:
*writing* Whatever. This is shit, I don't even care right now. A singing squirrel? Sure, let's do it. Haha, cheesy lines that make no sense, sure. Grammatical errors out the wazoo? Why not. No one's going to read this piece of crap anyway, I literally wrote it on a scrap of 1 ply toilet paper with a broken yellow crayon.
OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER GRANTED US WITH, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE, OMG, I NEED A SEQUEL IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE. WHAT THE. I'M NOT EVEN WORTHY. *kudosrebloglikereccomment*
don’t call me
if you meet another girl with the ocean in her eyes, but they just don’t compare don’t call me
next time she leaves you and you need my shoulder to cry on don’t call me
when you’re drunk and you think to dial my number because I was the only person who could ever sober you up don’t you dare call me
if you stay up all night until the sun rises and remember that we had planned to watch it together, don’t call me
when you roll over and sleeply mistake her golden locks for mine please don’t call me
when you get an invitation to my wedding some day don’t call me, it was only to spite you
and when she asks why you’re losing your mind I hope you have to tell her every detail of us and I hope it tears you apart inside to admit you lost the only person who ever gave a damn.. and then when it does don’t fucking call me
please don’t tell your kids to shut up when they’re trying to tell you something or if they’re upset. don’t ignore them. don’t invalidate their feelings. talk to them. listen to them. never tell your kid(s) their thoughts and feelings don’t matter.
nymphadora tonks has known alastor moody for exactly four days before she begins to address him by one of two names and two names only
the first time she calls him this, it’s at the end of the day and she shouts it as he’s clunking away
see you tomorrow, mad-eye, we’ll all try not to lose a buttock in the meantime
all the other auror cadets freeze because they think they’re maybe about to watch one of their fellow trainees be murdered by the most legendary auror any of them are ever going to meet
they’re absolutely sure of it when moody stops walking and they know he’s looking at them through the back of his head with his magical eye so they’re all trying very hard not to make any sudden movements or loud noises so they don’t draw any attention to themselves
except for tonks, who is fucking waving with the world’s largest shit-eating grin on her face
and then moody starts walking again, shouting back constant vigilance!
2) the man the myth the legend, auror mister alastor q. moody, sir, the constantly vigilant
she has no idea what moody’s actual middle name is, and she’s not sure there’s a living person who does
so she just picks a new middle initial every time, whatever strikes her fancy at the moment
she’s particularly fond of u, because every time someone new hears her say it and asks what his middle name is she tells them it’s unicorn.
alastor unicorn moody?
it’s a very old family name, you know how purebloods can get with their names.
sometimes when she does this, moody breaks out her full name, all nine syllables and twenty-four letters, in revenge
in revenge for that, tonks will get kingsley to do it, which he does in that calm, deep voice of his that sounds a bit like it’s chipping something into stone
moody deeply regrets taking either of them on as his proteges
(he does not actually regret it, even a little bit, not even when they tell the new recruits about it and he has to scare the life out the first one to dare uttering the words the man the myth the legend within a kilometer of him. that’s actually sort of fun.)