teiledesganzen

Okay wow.  Hi everybody!  Ten days ago, I wrote a blog post with self-care questions to ask during depression or suicidal ideation.  Since then, it’s gotten ten thousand notes, and my follower list has increased by half. So I wanted to add a couple of explanations about the post and to introduce myself to y’all.

But first: I’ve been so, so touched by all the comments that people have written, whether added to my post or sent to my inbox or written in tags.  I don’t want to seem full of myself, but just, thank you.  It means so much to know that it’s helping.

The post

I’ve been seeing therapists for depression for as long as some Tumblr users have been alive.  It comes and goes, and I’m grateful to be at a place where, thanks to medication, a great therapist, and slowly accrued coping skills, I can usually keep going without grinding to a total halt.  Still, some days/weeks are better than others, and one of the frustrating aspects of the disease is how it’s hard to relate to one side when you’re on the other side.  When I’m down, the fact that I’m sometimes happy seems distant and meaningless; when I’m up, I don’t want to linger in a bleak state of mind.

So, on a day when I was in an upswing but could still remember the other side of things, I wrote myself some questions.  I’m incredibly glad that they’ve helped other people, but originally, they were simply personal.  I know that when I’m in a depressive headspace, optimism and compliments and logical arguments just don’t work.  I can’t persuade myself, “oh hey, maybe I don’t suck after all!”  But what I can do is make sure that I’m giving my body and mind the best tools to be myself and think more clearly, and those pragmatic concerns are easier to follow than simple “positive thinking.”  That’s what I tried to encourage, and in the ten days since then, it’s already helped me some.

Responding to some of the comments/critiques …

1) I’m aware that the post doesn’t apply fully to everyone.  I wrote it for my own body, but not everyone has the physical, mental, or financial ability to do all the things I suggest.  If I’d known that so many people would read the post and take it as universal advice, I would have used less ableist language.  I’m sincerely sorry if this caused anyone to feel excluded, and I would happily collaborate on suggestions for more inclusive options.  I also encourage everyone to adapt or ignore the suggestions as appropriate for your own situation.

2) Not everyone has local friends, family, or furry creatures to ask for hugs.  I’ve been in that situation before, and it’s tough.  If anyone wants, I can talk to you about alternatives: volunteering to help with animals, joining local interest groups to make friends, politely approaching strangers at a dog park, etc.  Stuffed animals aren’t the same, but for me, they totally help too.

3) teiledesganzen had a really great addition about hormones, and how (especially for people experiencing PMS, menopause, or trans* related hormonal changes) they can have a big impact on mood and outlook.  So that’s another important thing to consider.

About me …

I’ll be honest: mostly I hang out on Tumblr for fandom (especially Avengers and Dragon Age) and beautiful pictures (especially those that subvert standard skinny-white-youthful-straight-Western paradigms of beauty).  Depression and self-care are very important issues for me, both personally and socially, but I can’t promise a steady stream of insightful posts here.  I’m so glad to meet you all, though; feel free to introduce yourself?

Glee Podcast: what do you guys want out of it?

So if we (the Glee fandom on Tumblr) started doing a podcast how should we do it?

Should each podcast focus on one topic? A Character? A reoccuring theme? Cheating? Or perhaps a set amount of topics. Or should the first few just be post episode podcasts we do on Sunday after a few rewatches? Or perhaps more then one podcast a week each one with a different focus?

I’m not sure if we’ll have regular members in every podcast or if it will be different people every week but I think this could be fun.

So any thoughts or volunteers?

teiledesganzen replied to your post:teiledesganzen replied to your post:teiledesganzen…

LET’S ALL REREAD TIFFANY ACHING TOGETHER. Y/Y/Y? (Also, we need Weeds in this group.)

YESSSSSSSSSS awesome when is this starting okay

(i will start rereading tomorrow.  along with the iliad which will be an interesting experience!  but whatever, the iliad will take forever to finish, it will have to be read beside other books.)

anyone in?

song meme: 5.05 The End of Twerk

teiledesganzen answered to your post “Give me an episode of Glee and I’ll rank the songs it featured.”

5x05! :)

YESSSSS, thank you!  ALSO YOU ARE BACK, YAAAAAAAAYYYY.

  1. “If I Were a Boy,” Unique.  Hands down my favorite solo so far this season.  Alex Newell sounds amazing in a way he has not been given much leave to be yet otherwise, and the way the song is used for Unique’s storyline is so refreshing and moving: decrying the difficulties she’s forced to endure, standing up for her personal knowledge of the right way to treat other people and affirming the truth of the identity she’s being hurt for - and has been hurt for, regarding the Ryder/catfishing plot.  “If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong" is what finally made me, with so much pain in my heart, admit the possibility that Rynique really could be over.  If it is, though, it’s through Unique’s own decision to choose what’s right for her, and I can’t argue with that.  The whole song, independently and in context, is beautiful.
  2. "On Our Way,” New Directions.  I LOVE that after an episode of twerking it and blurring the lines and inappropriateness perpetrated both purposefully and more or less uncomfortably, Blaine (who set off the whole episode by trying to enjoy his booty-shaking in private) picks the youthful, fun song to end with, and involves in it a MERRY-GO-ROUND, of all things.  It was amazing to watch (I love everyone joining hands and running in a line at the end, and the cuddle pile), the line division was great (especially in the last verse before a chorus with the sirens-lost my head-running-barefoot), and though it ultimately is a song of hope and determination to move forward, it doesn’t ignore the difficulties, fear, or dangerous urgency to get there.  AND “WE’RE LOSING TIME” EVERYONE LYING ON A CLOCK CANONICAL TIME DISTORTION I MEAN REALLY
  3. “Wrecking Ball,” Marley.  This song haunted me for weeks after I learned who would be singing it and put together the pieces of what it would mean for her and Jake.  It really speaks to how forceful and determined Marley has been trying to learn to be in her life and in her relationship (cf. her asking for assurance of Jake’s faithfulness before they got together, reasoning with him after Ryder kisses her, going above and beyond in refusing to change to what she thinks he wants in AKoaG), while still being so young and deep in her first experience of love.  How devastating “I guess I should have let you win” is in that context.  I also really love the imagery in the performance - especially MARLEY being pictured sitting on the wrecking ball high up in the sky (a deviation from the original video) while singing that she’d put Jake there.  It’s not that she exalted Jake above herself: she feels that she pulled him up to be in the heavens with her, when he hadn’t yet earned it on his own.
  4. “Blurred Lines,” Will, Jake, Bree, Artie, etc.  Yeah, yeah, I’m just as surprised as you that this isn’t in last place.  I hate the song for all the reasons everyone else does.  I have been forced to listen to it far more times than I’d ever care to, from the radio to all my mom’s singing shows to random coworkers humming it at the library ( >:( ).  However, what saved it for me in the context of this episode of Glee is that the meaning of the song wasn’t ignored and Will’s wrongness in choosing it to sing with the club was shown, by both adults (Sue: “You do know that’s a song about date rape, right? …You, a married 37-year-old, just performed a song about coercive sexual advances while nine minors twerked alongside you down the hallways of a public high school.”) and students (Artie: “Blurred Lines, by Robin Thicke?  Yeah, that’s not what that’s about…” and everyone’s faces from line to line as Will pontificates about the song).  I will confess something to you: for the first time in possibly ever, I liked Will Schuester in this episode.  All I needed, apparently, was a proper admission of his awfulness, and the lines above and his general display of confusion in this episode (oh how I loved it!) provided that to me.  I can in good conscience admit that Will has done some good things and occasionally been a real help to people as long as we aren’t pretending that everything he ever does is redolent of Masterful Savior.  A couple of other notes regarding this performance : it really worked for the whole thing with Jake and Bree, and it might be wrong but I appreciated that they had the girls singing it share the line “I know you want it” and act somewhat aggressively also.  At least it evens things out a little in the immediate context.
  5. “I Am Woman, You Are Man,” Rachel and Paolo.  I also dislike this song as a song (I’d argue it’s not supposed to be innocuous in Funny Girl, though) and it didn’t carry that much plot in the episode, unlike the previous one.  However, it did serve to show that gross songs existing and achieving widespread appeal despite their grossness is by no means a new thing.  Nice, I guess, in counterpart to Will’s “dancing through history” production.  This has always been around, and decrying new things as being the Most Worst and a symbol of the degradation of a generation or whatever is just missing the point completely.
teiledesganzen replied to your post:teiledesganzen replied to your post: thebeastisyou…

LET ME YELL AT YOU ABOUT MY LOVE FOR TIFFANY ACHING WHO HITS ME RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF IN A PLACE FEW OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS EVEN GET CLOSE TO. Haven’t read Monstrous Regiment yet, but I own it already (which means it’s definitely on the list!).

TIFFANY ACHING IS SO SO WONDERFUL and is making me really regret my memory like a SIEVE because I want to say more about her but.  First Sight!  Third Thoughts!!!  I LOVE HER SO MUCH OKAY

*hosts tiffany aching love party right here*

teiledesganzen replied to your post: thebeastisyou replied to your post:Rul…

So much yes to The Colour of Magic/The Light Fantastic! I got hooked on The Wee Free Men, read all the witches’ books, then all the Death books. It fizzled out from there, though, b/c the guys just grab me a lot less.

*nods nods*.  Tiffany Aching might be my favorite of Pratchett’s characters, and I need to get back to those books - I only read the first one!  I have been pretty bad at reading books in the past few years, since I’ve gotten into fandom.

(… have you read Monstrous Regiment, though?  I’d rec it if you haven’t.)

poemsingreenink

 said: You might like Bomb Girls.


teiledesganzen said: I’m currently very enamored by Leverage. Also, Glee? Do a S5 rewatch with me?

dontturnitoff said: Sherlock isn’t much of a commitment and it is very, very good tv. You know how I feel about SPN, but it is way TOO much of a commitment with 8.5 seasons… (But it’s amazing once you get past the first season and the macho stuff turns back on itself)

Dontturnitoff – you have clearly missed my Sherlock rants. And I tried Supernatural but my brain got bored in S2. 

Poems – I think I meant to check that out a while ago and forgot! Thank you. 

Teiledeganzen – That’s an idea! When are you doing it? Will look up Leverage. 

teiledesganzen  asked:

Hermione/McGonagall, Pirate AU. Doesn't have to be romantic. In fact I would prefer if it wasn't. Arrr.

Hermione+ McGonagall, Pirate AU, 159 words, G.

“Hoist the main sail!” Captain McGonagall cried out as she strode to the front of the ship.

“Aye aye, Captain,” Hermione replied, raising her wand to cast the spells. “They’ll be hear in 5 minutes from the North-West, according to my spells.” She added, looking away from her work to make sure the Captain heard.

McGonagall nodded, “Good spell work, Granger. Remember the plan?”

Hermione finished up the sails and spun around. “Our Captain abandoned us and I’m terrified, beg for board for me and the ship’s cat.”

The Captain smiled back, “Exactly.” She gestured to the rest of the crew, “You lot better not wreck the place while we’re gone, trust me I’ll know about it.” They all rushed to agree with her as they saw the other ship get ever closer. When they looked back their Captain was replaced by a cat, that Hermione rushed to pick up.

It was time to get back Morgana’s wand.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Snape/Hermione fic recs?

I DO ACTUALLY, LOTS.

Some time ago I started rereading a favorite — teiledesganzen asked for recommendations — and I decided to make a list of ALL my favorites. All of which means that, a year later, HERE THEY ARE. You’re welcome.

The only fic I can pretty much recommend without any caveats at all except it’s kind of cracky — body switching! (The sequel’s a little lackluster, but it does tie things up. ETA: I can’t find it! Which is *distressing.* Let me know if you want a copy and I’ll get it off my Kindle somehow.) But otherwise awesome! I wrote an essay about how awesome it was in terms of sex and gender dynamics, aaaaaa.

SNAPE IN A KILT. SNAPE DISGUISED AS A CANADIAN. “WE HAVE TO GET MARRIED.” The single best and most thorough “Snape at trial” I’ve ever read. This fic has it all. There is, however, a really fucking gross rape apologist section that creeps me right the fuck out, so that might be a no-go for you. (Site requires registration for NC-17, but I’ve been there since 2007 and never had a problem, so…?)

Another “we have to get married!” (I think there may have been a challenge somewhere, and a lot of fills.) Has a unique Hermione backstory, with a bit of a Christianity flavor to it. While the Hermione characterization isn’t precisely one I would favor, the Voldemort is a fantastic construction of villainy that I’ve seen no where else (and is incredibly uncomfortable to read, and not at all for the reasons you’re thinking).

Holy crap, this series. Continues in Jewel of the Nile and remains, unfinished, in Last Tango in Paris (but it’s almost done in the third story — honestly, READ IT ANYWAY). While I’m not entirely sure, I feel like this is the original Hermione wunderkind story — she’s fucking amazing in it, and everyone loves her. The descriptions are lovely, the story is thorough, there are piles of relationships throughout — but the Snape/Hermione is a gorgeous, continuous undercurrent. UGH.

One last “we have to get married.” (It is possible I have a type.) Almost a complete rewrite of the last book, with the assumption that Snape and Hermione married before Dumbledore’s death so as to provide Snape a new connection to the Order and Hermione a lead into Voldemort’s plans. Some annoyance on my part with regard to the author italicizing every line that came directly from the book, but I see why she did it (artistically, etc.).

WOW A LOT OF WORDS WHOA.

teiledesganzen replied to your post:penroseparticle replied to your post:If I didn’t…

Oh gods, don’t remind me of the Blake poem… *still hating it with the fury of a thousand suns*

Haha I am getting mixed messages! I’m on the last episode so I guess I’ll see for myself.

Ali Stroker just said “It’s all or nothing now. Literally.” Which amused me because of course she’s the person it’s not true for. Blake got all, Aylin got nothing, but she got something in between (though not much more but still).

Also I am likely to write extended thoughts on Blake after this all, touching on other stuff.

teiledesganzen said: 

Your delight over being asked stuff you (seem to) like talking about is the BEST. Thanks for sharing that. <3

I do totally love talking about this stuff. But– doesn’t everybody like talking about the things they like? I have never understood why people would want to undersell their own enthusiasm. (Well, in an online context.)

And being asked is awesome. Somebody wants to know a thing that I can talk about! A thing I like to talk about! We’re communicating! Communication is cool! *FLAIL*

Regarding concerns for podcast 6

Hi everyone!

We’re absolutely seeing all your concerns, we’re not ignoring or sidestepping these issues and we appreciate the discussion. We’re currently talking about it via admin meeting. We were trying to be sensitive to these issues before, and we’re attempting to be considerate going forward. We will make a longer post in the next couple days addressing this issue more in-depth.

We try, as always, to be as inclusive as possible. Anyone and everyone is welcome to volunteer - we run on volunteers. and we try to include everyone who does. We also make every attempt to utilize panelists with experience on the sensitve issues, as well as any other sensitive issues that we podcast about.

We’re fans, we’re not experts - or at least, most of us aren’t. If you have any specific concerns or feedback, we would be happy to discuss it more one-on-one, just email us at fygleepodcast@gmail.com. We’re always open to improvement. 

-your admin team