I commissioned Julia to draw Hesse and IT TURNED OUT ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND I WANTED YOU TO ALL SEE IT!! Like actually drooling all over myself it’s so delicious. Thank again, Mo, I love it so much I just want to print it out and hug it to my chest for all time.
I finished my comic, so I’m posting the interactive version! Just scroll over the panels to reveal the dialogue–sorry webpage design isn’t super great, haha.
And to the teen witch ladies–sorry I probably took some leaps about your girl’s powers!! But I wanted to make it as simple and comedic feeling as possible, haha. (And also gdi I feel so bad while I was typing up speech bubbles I realized I had completely stopped drawing cat!Winnie like a doofus.)
Culture; life-at-home atmosphere: she’s the only child of a single father who is currently putting himself through med school AND working a part-time job. So for the most part she’s on her own and, when he’s around, her father can be a bit over-bearing/over-protective. but she loves him anyway and often puts all plans aside to have father-daughter time.
Relationship & Sexuality: Bisexual, but doesn’t totally understand/accept that about herself yet
Turn-ons: passionate, exciting, kind
Turn-offs: pessimism, arrogance, rudeness
Important relationships: her dad & her two best friends; Supernatural Buddy Cops Brian Andrews, (the split-personality, borderline-alcoholic werewolf) and Bane, (the boyishly handsome vampire)
Dating history: NEVER
Important animal relationships: she hates her dad’s old fucking cat, and ALSO HATES Kingsly, a demon she (accidentally) bound to both herself as well as the body of a giant sewer rat. neat.
Favourite food and drink: like a REALLY GOOD lasagna and milk
Order at the café: not really fond of sweet things, and can’t drink coffee bc caffeine so she’d probably get like a cup of milk or whipped cream
Alcoholic order: corkscrew BUT SHE CAN’T DRINK
Typical fashion: band shirts, cut up band shirts, boy pants OR colored skinny jeans
Hobbies: cooking, being really bad at skateboarding, reading books
Favourite music: Fall Out Boy, The Used, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, all the music you are embarrassed about having listened to in Middle School
If they play an instrument, which one/which instrument would they play: she would die to learn to play the electric guitar
Do they use the computer and/or Internet and what for: she almost NEVER gets online except for when she needs to do school work
Least favourite chore: laundry
Flower/plant: dandelions, wildflowers
Job/career/major activity(ies) at school: skipping school, mostly. Sometimes she shows up for English class because she likes writing and reading, but otherwise SCHOOL IS FOR SUCKERS
Do they need to make money? How: she probably should, but makes up for it by doing most of the house’s chores and cooking
Any education attained or important teachers: working pretty hard on being a high school drop out, and doesn’t particularly have any kind of connections with her teachers. Brian, Bane and Kingsly are all terrible role models. Her dad isn’t around enough to be a role model, but he’d be a good one.
Anything they tend to do everyday and/or every week: she cooks dinner every night and packs her dad lunch during the work week, often goes out hiking/climbing/running around in the sewers or to the library
Sleeping habits: I guess she like…sleeps on her back….
Pajamas: really cute pj pants her dad keeps buying her that she would hate if it wasn’t her dad who bought them
Talents: cooking, baking, writing, being a witch
Any developing skills: being a witch, skateboarding
Weaknesses: demanding physical activities, confrontation, studying, jumps to conclusions, impulsive; often lets her emotions take control, CANNOT take criticism, can become obsessive about certain things
Anything they keep private/hide from others: her heart condition, Kingsly to an extent, and her magical abilities
Strengths: passionate, protective, strong-willed, VERY loving
How would they impress someone: probably by showing off her TERRIBLE skating skills, or cooking them a meal
Charm points: wears her heart on her sleeve and always says what she’s thinking. She’s good with words, and can be a sweet-talker
Embarrassed by: basically everything, ESP her weight/body type since she’s kind of sickly & thin
How do they tend to relieve stress: skating, climbing trees, yelling to her fav punk bands
Free fact: she was born with a congenital heart defect and, because of it, has to keep excessive excitation of the heart (extreme stress, excessive physical demands, caffeine, etc) to a minimum and keep a restricted diet. HOWEVER this condition both accidentally killed her AND was accidentally repaired & brought her back when she bound Kingsly to her BUT that’s another story I haven’t written down in a word document yet soo….anyway usually her dad is like “don’t go out and do anything crazy!” and she’s like “ok dad I love you” and then runs around out in the woods and in sewers and climbs trees and skateboards really badly. And yes this generally makes her excessively tired, and she has passed out and been taken to a hospital multiple times. Her father is exasperated.
i did it i did the thing here here’s my stupid teen witch. there’s still a lot more i want to write about her if i ever get around to doing that. who knows.
talking to kylie tonight about how i HAVe A TEEN WITCH she EXISTS i think about her ALL THE TIME i have her story SET AND REAL the problem is that i haven’t really drawn her ever except a few sketches in my sketchbook here and there
i think her name is Colette but i haven’t fully decided
she does TRANSMORGIFICATION which is like a big supernatural no-no in my…………………….mind? world? will she share the same teen witch world? idk
anywhere here’s a shitty ms paint picture of her enjoy
As Michael J. Fox’s ‘Teen Wolf’ celebrates its 30th anniversary, we expose cinema’s most heinous efforts to plunder quick money by adding to a franchise (hint: it includes 1987’s rubbish ‘Teen Wolf Too’).
‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr.’
This is so fundamentally wrong, it’s difficult to quantify. Yes it was made by the Cartoon Network, but Josh Flitter’s effort as Ace’s son demonstrates just how startling Jim Carrey’s performance is. To pull off a character of such extremes is a comedic feat which cannot be underestimated.
Flitter – and we feel bad slagging off a child here – looks more like a kid getting ready for Halloween, parroting his favourite movie in his bedroom.
What’s more, you’d get a youngster who acted like that tested, right?
‘Son of the Mask’
Released 11 years after Jim Carrey’s frenetic comedy, the sequel features Bob Hoskins and Alan Cumming in one of their more ignominious jobs.
Jamie Kennedy plays a man who finds the original mask and conceives a baby while still wearing it (ewwww), thus bestowing the powers of Norse god Loki on his son.
There’s a bunch of baby-doing-crazy-stuff stuff and a very soppy ending. We prefer Loki when he looks like Tom Hiddleston.
‘Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights’
Poor Romola Garai. She’s a great, charismatic British actress trying to emulate what was essentially lightning in a bottle. Surprise surprise, neither she nor co-star Diego Luna pull it off despite their best efforts.
Released in 2004, 17 years after the original, it was doomed from the start.
‘Teen Wolf Too’
1985’s original is a cult classic, actually shot before Michael J. Fox rocketed to fame in ‘Back to the Future’, but released after he became a star.
Here, a youthful Jason Bateman plays Fox’s cousin, who is also a lycanthrope. Cue essentially a play-by-play repeat of the first movie, only with boxing instead of basketball and a more rubbish actor playing his best mate Stiles.
‘Highlander II: The Quickening’
The first ‘Highlander’ is an absurd but fun sci-fi-action movie about an immortal Scotsman called Connor (played with a Gallic twang by Frenchman Christopher Lambert) who hooks up with a Spaniard – full name Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez – played by definitive Scot Sean Connery, to defeat a big bad.
This second movie is, frankly, gibberish. There’s a whole plot about the ozone layer (big news item in 1991) and turns out Connor and Ramirez were aliens all along. Or something. Even more impenetrable than Lambert’s accent.
‘American Psycho II: All American Girl’
Finally – Mila Kunis and William Shatner, together on the big screen at last!
Directed by Morgan Freeman (a different one), this totally vomits on Bret Easton Ellis’s satirical original, instead focusing on a sociopathic female college student (Kunis) who is obsessed by Shatner’s professor (yuck) and kills anyone who gets in her way.
It clearly wasn’t intended to be connected to ‘American Psycho’ whatsoever, but was most likely a rote slasher script reworked to include a spurious related scene at the beginning. Not one of Kunis’s proudest moments.
‘Trail of the Pink Panther’
Possibly the ultimate cash-in, in the sense that its star was actually dead throughout the entire production (and had been for 18 months before shooting even started).
This 1982 comedy used archive footage of Peter Sellers from previous Pink Panther deleted scenes, as well as utilising a double who was shot from behind. Bringing back David Niven from the first film, the filmmakers were instructed to pay $1million to Sellers’ widow for diminishing his reputation.
Which kind of tells you what sort of film it is.
John Travolta is a magnificent dancer, of that there is no doubt.
But it’s still difficult to suppress a giggle when you see him boogie in this anodyne ‘Saturday Night Fever’ sequel, written and directed by Sylvester Stallone and released in 1983.
Maybe it’s the bandanna, maybe it’s the 80s wardrobe and choreography. Either way, Tony Manero lost his mojo.
‘Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2’
‘The Blair Witch Project’ was an innovative horror film which became one of the most successful indies in history, revived the found footage genre and revolutionised online marketing techniques.
The second one did none of these things. In fact, it was a generic, mainstream movie hurriedly ushered into production even though the original creative team said they weren’t ready to do a sequel.
To be fair to the director Joe Berlinger, he’s since gone on to become an Oscar-nominated documentary filmmaker best known for the ‘Paradise Lost’ series.
Didn’t ‘Donnie Darko’ just scream sequel? No, we didn’t think so either.
This 2009 follow-up to the Jake Gyllenhaal-starring 2001 cult hit focuses on Donnie’s younger sister Samantha (Daveigh Chase) and involves more portentous time travel stuff and meteorites.
Unfortunately, where the first film was intriguingly opaque and original, this is just…nonsense. Not surprisingly, Richard Kelly, director of the first ‘Darko’ didn’t even read the script.