teen-parents

Confession

I don’t understand whats the big deal with saying you don’t want kids. Yes I am only 14 years old, but when I think of my future I can never imagine kids being involved. I am the type of person who would rather play with dogs than with children. I feel very uncomfortable around babies and I can only tolerate looking at them. I don’t want to hold them, play with them or anything. My aunt is staying with us for a month and she recently had a baby. The baby sleeps with me in my room. I have to wake up at 5 in the morning to get ready for school and every 2 hours I get woken up by the baby. This only proves to me that I will not be able to handle a baby. Unlike everybody else in my house I don’t have the patience to deal with this.

Despite everybody being very well aware that I am just not very fond of kids they all expect me to want them. My mom feels my lack of desire to have kids is selfish. My parents aren’t the main reason why I don’t want kids but they are way up there on the list of reasons. My siblings and I only made their lives way harder than it used to be. Before we came to live with our parents in America they were living an easy and carefree life, then we came and everything just went downhill from there. They aren’t as financially stable as they used to be and from the memories I have of when we first came, they aren’t as happy either. My parents are very very close to a divorce. My mom loves to complain about how she regrets having kids. She loves bringing up how before we came their life used to be so easy. There weren’t any dishes in the sink, they had money to travel, and blah blah blah. When I was younger I used to feel guilty when she said things like this but now I feel absolutely no sympathy for them. I didn’t ask to be brought into this world and neither did my siblings. They chose to have 4 kids. Its their fault their lives are as hard as they are now. I just dont understand why my mom cares if whether or not I have kids. I would’ve assumed she wouldn’t want me to have kids and live a hard life like them.

If at any point in my life I want a kid I will not conceive a child. I would much rather adopt. Not a baby of course, I would much rather adopt a kid between the ages of 8-11. Even if I decide to adopt its not gonna happen while I’m in my 20s. This will only happen while I’m in my mid to late 30s. I have to have the financial stability to not only raise this child, but also still have money to take care of my self and have fun.

It’s Not Just Those Awful Ads in NYC: Teen Moms Are Bullied Every Day

The teen pregnancy prevention (actually teen mom shaming) ads making headlines in New York City are offensive and are part of a system that consistently degrades teen moms. The public service announcements promote unfair treatment of young women who need support. They enable people who have a personal agenda against teen moms to effectively use their disapproval to make the moms’ lives much harder than they need to be

Given that teen mothers already experience educational pushout for being pregnant or a parent, our family members and friends judge us for our “poor life choices,” and we have the highest rates of postpartum depression than any other group of mothers, it would be nice to be able to fully enjoy the one day a year the nation comes together to express gratitude for mothers.

What if teenage parents received the same love and support other mothers get through ads and advocacy campaigns? What if teenage parents were told they are capable of making a difference in the world, and are doing so by providing the support their child needs, even with the odds stacked up against them?
seriously,

People need to realize that there has always been teen moms.

And the number of teen moms isn’t increasing.

Its actually going DOWN.


And to the people saying that “the next generation is fucked because they’re being raised by teenage parents”

How about this, the highest percentage of teen mothers so far was in 1991. You know the year most of you guys were born…

So technically our generation are the ones who are fucked, right?
Isn’t that what you’re saying?

Just because you’re now old enough to notice teen moms doesn’t mean they just fucking appeared.

Malone, who had her daughter when she was 15, said that becoming pregnant at a young age was certainly an “isolating” experience. “It was mind boggling to see how many people thought my life was over, or didn’t associate with me anymore, simply because I was pregnant. Strangers had no problem stopping me on the street and telling me how much I had ruined my life and the life of my child — and, by extension, the economy,” she said.
And these type of [shaming] messages don’t just affect the teenage girls who are currently pregnant. They also reach the young women and men who are already parenting, as well as their children. Once New York City’s ads went up, Malone said her daughter saw them and asked why she wasn’t going to graduate from high school.
“Stigmatizing ads can, and often do, have a reverse effect,” Malone pointed out. “Young mothers can feel like all the hard work they’re doing in vain because these ads say you can’t be anything anyway… We can’t forget that we’re talking about humans who have feelings, and emotions, and families.”
Family Leave Laws Need to Include Teen Student Parents

“School was hell for me,” writes teen parent Natasha Vianna. “When the teachers don’t want to see you succeed, you feel as if your mere presence in the school is unwanted.

Pregnant and parenting teens say that becoming pregnant and having their children increased their desire to continue and complete their education. However, educational pushout makes this a near-impossible goal to achieve.

This form of educational pushout creates a pipeline from school to deeper poverty for pregnant and parenting teens and their families. Being that educational attainment has been cited as one of the best ways to overcome poverty, and that poverty is one of the leading causes of teenage pregnancy, educational pushout has long-lasting effects for new parents, their children, and society at large.

Educational pushout perpetuates the cycle of poverty.

from Gloria Malone’s RH Reality Check article, Family Leave Laws Need to Include Teen Student Parents