teen president

Cloak and Dagger: a guide for people who do not know them

So I have seen people who watched the trailer and say to themselves, “I don’t know anything about them, but…” And I am like, “well let me tell you.”

Cloak, Tyrone Johnson, and Dagger, Tandy Bowen, were just typical teens. Well they were runaway teens who were fleeing from trouble in their life. Tyrone was fleeing from the cops because he is a black man in 1980s America. And Tandy was fleeing from a sexually abusive home.

And then someone took them in any gave them super powered experimental heroine and then bam, they are the physical embodiment of a Rorschach painting. Okay I’ll let them elaborate.

So they gained their powers which has the unfortunate, but also true implication that drugs give you super powers. Yeah.

Sure, I’ll take your word for it. 

Okay, so they were experimented on by a Doctor Simon Marshall who created Mr. Negative, a Chinese Smuggler, who was distributing the drug that created Cloak and Dagger. Anyways, the duo were not the most forgiving of vigilantes at the start.

They were angry pissed off teens. At first, in their debut, Spider-man was fervently against them. And then he learned of their tragic origin, and let’s say he was bought in.

Jesus, 1970s comics were so corny.

The above probably won’t be pertinent to the show because they are most likely dropping the drug origins because Disney is a bunch of punks.

Anyways, Cloak has the power to bring the void or the Darkforce which allows him to consume people into a place that absorbs any source of light from people’s bodies. He can also teleport and shit.

His power has a huge drawback which forces him to hunger and want to consume as much light as possible. He also can’yt wear normal clothes outside the titular “cloak.” He is pretty much a void. So dude is a walking Eldrich Abomination.

Dagger has the power to create light daggers and produce light as pictured above. She has a large supply of light that allows Cloak to feed without this comic turning into a Stephen King novel.

Of course, her power has drawbacks too.

So they need each other to survive from being monsters.

Now you would think that light and darkness and people of the opposite sex would be in some sort of relationship since they literally are all they know and only depend on each other, but nope. I mean I have seen hetero couples become items off of pure unadulterated bullshit and be spontaneously fucking and shit on a whim, but two characters that have been around one another and slept, non-sexually, with each other have not ever been an item in their 30 year history. 

Until Bendis decided to indulge his interracial pairing kick and made the two lovers in the Ultimate Universe.

While I am at it, I might as well do an Ultimate Universe interpretation of the duop because I suspect they are borrowing from that adaptation as well.

Cloak and Dagger were just typical teens who were School Presidents at their respective schools. They met each other at a fast food joint, went to prom, and then got into an accident.

They were declared dead in the accident and their comatose bodies were abducted by Roxxon after Roxxon lied to their parents saying that they died in a hospital accident.

Why is Mr. Sinister, Layla Miller, Dr. Zola, and Dr. Samual Sterns involved? These are Ultimate Universe things.

Anyways, they wake up.

D’aaaaawwwwww

Okay, it is shame that Netflix is not picking up the series because…could you imagine the sex?

No really, it is not like typical super human rough sex that Twilight likes to imagine as great sex. I am talking about truly aesthetically pleasing sex. Not great as in the actual intercourse, but like a firework show in a black hole kind of thing. Like a Jackson Pollock Painting.

I can’t be the only one. I mean having these two get together and depicting the intercourse would be immaculate. 

It would be beautiful.

Oh, don’t act like I am the only one who thought about this? No don’t you look at me like that, motherfucker. I am not alone. Don’t kinkshame me.

2

PREZ! The first teen president! (Although apparently he’s 21.)

I think this wound up darker than Jon was hoping for but I like to imagine Boss Smiley playing a larger role in the Prez reboot.

P.S. I do not see Prez as being a darker character, I just like the idea of taking the focus off of Prez fighting vampires and shifting the focus more towards the relationship between corporate America and politics.

P.P.S. Prez can’t be bought. You feel me?

P.P.P.S. There’s no Prez reboot. I’m sorry. I know you’ve all been wanting this.

  • The Pack: *loses Derek in a crowded room*
  • Scott: *cups hands over mouth* Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
  • Scott: *shouts* SCOTT MCCALL IS A TERRIBLE ALPHA
  • Derek: *pops up over crowd* What the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY
  • Scott: oh, there he is

Right on! I hate seeing people going on on facebook and other social media sites about how about how great America is going to be when they have no idea what’s about to be in store for the millions of Americans over the next four years.

anonymous asked:

(I don't have a tumblr or I'd probably tell you i love your writing on everything you write) thinking about the leader of the free world presidency, I just realised, have the Barton-Hills ever gone on diplomacy trips and had meet-awkwards with security members of other diplomats, or high ranking criminals that they met while they were shield agents? or steve wanders off and gets himself caught up in a revolution?

Merry Christmas, Anon :D

Title: Nomad, The Man Without Political Office
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: Vice-president Steve Rogers liberated a small country. AGAIN.
Warnings: None.

***

“Steve, you can’t…” Clint pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing they weren’t having this conversation at twenty-five thousand feet. “I can’t believe I’m saying this. Steve. You cannot sneak away to foment revolution in small Eastern European countries when we are visiting adjoining small Eastern European countries on diplomatic junkets.”

“I wouldn’t say I fomented, it was fomenting already,” Steve said. “I just gave it a little kick in the pants.”

“You broke into the palace, stole incriminating documents from a safe, terrorized the state newspaper into publishing them, and organized an entire presidential election,” Hill said. “I mean, I’d be angrier if I wasn’t so impressed, you get a lot done in seventy-two hours when you put your mind to it.”

“I don’t sleep much,” Steve said. “Anyway, it was successful, so who’s mad at me? Nobody. Well, nobody still at large.”

“I am, for the record,” Tony said, pacing back and forth on the opposite side of Air Force One’s main conference room. “Partly because you didn’t warn me, partly because you didn’t invite me along.”

“You’re just mad I took Bucky instead,” Steve said.

“Like old times,” Bucky said nostalgically.

“But mostly,” Tony finished loudly, “because I now have to handle the several nearby countries that are terrified by this development and rattling their not inconsequential swords.”

“I’ll fight’ em,” Steve declared.

“You’re the vice president of the United States,” Clint continued doggedly. “You can’t be seen to be interfering so blatantly in the governance of other countries. You’re not Captain America anymore.”

“Temporarily,” Steve said. “Just until the next administration. Besides, I didn’t go in as Steve Rogers OR Captain America.”

Tony clicked a button on his phone. The flatscreen television beeped, turned on, and automatically tuned to the local news. A man in a black combat suit with gold accents and a full-face mask that showed only his eyes and stopped just above his ears (to display a full head of perfect golden hair) was leading a triumphant, democratically-elected new president of Lotovia into the former royal palace.

“Lotovia borders on Latveria,” Tony said. “Victor von Doom, ruler of Latveria, is not pleased with anti-monarchist democratic revolutions so close to his homeland.”

“Nobody knows that’s me,” Steve said.

“Everybody knows that’s you,” Hill replied.

“Nobody can prove it’s me,” Steve insisted.

“Steve, there’s an entire Reddit dedicated to whether you butt matches Nomad’s butt, which isn’t hard to compare because you wear a lot of booty shorts,” Tony said. “Not that I’m not one hundred percent Team Booty Short, but I think the Nobody Knows I’m Nomad ship has sailed.”

Steve crossed his arms. “Democracy needs its champions,” he said.

Clint let his head fall to the table, sighing. Bucky patted the back of it. Clint batted him away.

“I assigned you to keep him from doing this again,” he said, turning his head to eyeball Bucky. “I said, Steve can’t be allowed to sneak off and depose a dictator again. I said, Bucky, that you needed to keep him to his official agenda.”

Bucky shrugged. “You’ve read history books about us. You shoulda known better.”

“Look, I know there’s politics involved,” Steve said. “I know we can’t just invade every country we think isn’t being democratic enough and as vice president I have to behave myself. But it’s just one little country, and I wore a mask.”

Clint rubbed his eyes. “Tony?”

“I’m fixing it,” Tony sighed. “I’m smoothing over hurt feelings. I’m arranging for the imprisonment of several generals who were propping up the evil king. I’m a damn good boyfriend, and you owe me apology sex,” he said to Steve.

“Like…right this minute?” Steve asked, flushing.

“Sex in airplanes is bad for my blood pressure,” Tony said, before literally everyone else in the room could object to the discussion. “Clint, there’s ice cream in the fridge, go eat ice cream and take a nap. By the time we land this will all have been like a bad dream. Bucky, do your creepy bodyguard thing. Hill, aren’t you busy toppling the Patriarchy?”

“Not this week, but thank you for clearing my schedule for it,” Maria replied. “I have some lobbying I could be doing, I’ll use the aft office.”

The President, the First Lady, and the rest of the assembled staff were just about out of the conference room when Tony finally leaned over Steve and murmured, in a voice that said he’d risk his blood pressure, “So…where do you keep that skintight Nomad outfit, anyway?”