Dear Journal,

It’s Sirius. It’s finally over. The full moon is gone and my Remus is back to his real self. I changed back into myself and ran to him like I never ran before. I kneeled beside him and wrapped him in a warm blanket, trying to comfort him.

“I’m here Remus.. it’s okay.. it’s over.” I said, holding him close to me.

“S-Sirius..?” He said, shaking.

“It’s okay love. It’s all over. I’m taking you home babe..” I whispered in his ear, taking his beatened body in my arms.

I walked for a good 30 minutes before getting home. Teddy was asleep on the couch next to the door.

“Teddy? Can you help me?” I said.

He woke up and looked around wondering what was going on.

“Dad! Is he okay?” He asked, looking at Remus’ scratched face.

“He will, I just need to heal him quickly.” I said, laying Remus on our bed covered with towels so the blood won’t stain the sheets.

“It’s going to be okay dad.. just hold on for me.” Teddy said, brushing his hand in Remus’ curls to soothe him.

I removed parts of the blanket that covered his bare skin so he would still be a bit covered. I asked Teddy to go get me some cold water and started healing him with my healing powers. The warm and bright orange light came out of my palms, making Remus’ cuts disapear one by one. I was exhausted after doing them all but I would’ve gladly passed out just for my Remus to be okay. I sat on the chair, regaining my energy and breath and Teddy gave Remus some water. He was almost unconcious so we let him sleep a bit. Teddy layed beside him and also went to sleep. As for me, I sat in the rocking chair next to the bed and stayed up, hoping he would be okay. I slowly wipped the blood off of his now healed skin with a small wet towel. When I was all done, I layed the sheets on him and relaxed on the chair. I was telling myself to breathe slowly and not panic. Slow and deep breaths. I couldn’t let the panic get over me now… I drank what was left of the cold water and felt it go down my burning troath. I hated full moons. I steadied my breath and layed my hand on Remus’ warm cheek.

“S'going to be okay m'love.. I’m here..” I said with my shaking voice.

A single tear ran down my sweaty cheek and I didn’t wipe it away. Sitting next to him made me think of all the times I did the same at Hogwarts. I layed my arms and head on the bed and tried to get a bit of sleep, just like old times…


he thinks until
his thoughts become dreams
of Mama and the words that she read aloud
from the dictionary
(slow, bizarre, proud)

they marched inward as he grew
from the tip of his tongue
(delicious, bitter)
down the back of his throat
(scorched, sore)
and rested in the hollow places
along his spine

so he has always known
more than enough synonyms for
and a complete list of antonyms for

he sits comfortably
knowing the ins and outs of
nice and neat in an iron cage
pretty faces replacing themselves
he spends hours writing
front to back and
to his core

words float through the vents
and he defines them
applauds them as they dance

(written for @scrappyaarondingle)

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?


so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

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