Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly dislike Tim Tebow any more than I already do, I just found out he’s a featured speaker at the Republican National Convention. This only confirms what I’ve always known: Tebow is pious piece of shit.
Anti-immigration activists, “prosperity gospel” preachers, anti-LGBT politicians, and the NRA’s top lobbyist will headline Donald Trump’s 2016 Republican National Convention. The Republican National Committee released a partial list of the people who will speak at next week’s event and it is a virtual who’s who of extremist voices from within the party. Additional names reported by the New York Times include anti-abortion activist Tim Tebow, who briefly was an NFL quarterback.
Here are some of the people who will highlight the Cleveland convention, where Trump is widely expected to receive the GOP nomination for president:
Florida’s Republican attorney general, Bondi’s relationship with Trump has drawn criticism from ethics watchdogs and state newspapers. Four days after she announced she might join an investigation into Trump University, one of Trump’s family foundations gave $25,000 to a group supporting Bondi’s re-election. Soon after, she announced she would not pursue a lawsuit. She also drew criticism for reportedly asking for an execution to be delayed so as not to conflict with her re-election kick-off party. After the Orlando shootings last month, CNN’s Anderson Cooper took her to task for presenting herself as a champion of the LGBT community, despite her anti-gay record. Bondi responded by blasting Cooper for “[inciting] anger and hatred.”
An African American prosperity gospel preacher, Burns has been a frequent Trump surrogate throughout the campaign. At a March rally, he claimed that Bernie Sanders “doesn’t believe in God,” and must convert to Christianity. “Listen, Bernie gotta get saved. He gotta meet Jesus,” Burns said of Sanders, who is Jewish.
The African American sheriff of Milwaukee County, Wisconsin, and nominally a Democrat, Clarke has emerged as thego-to Fox News critic of the Black Lives Matter movement. He has called groups protesting the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri “vultures on a road side caucus” and claimed that homes with single mothers were the real cause of police shootings of black men. Clarke has also predicted that Black Lives Matter “will join forces with ISIS” to bring down the United States. A strong gun-rights advocate, he has also proposed adding a semi-automatic rifle to the nation’s seal.
The chief lobbyist for the National Rifle Association, Cox is a staunch opponent of efforts to reduce gun violence and has warned that those lawmakers who seek to blame his organization for the epidemic of gun violence “will pay a price for it.” At his group’s May convention, he made a series of sexist attacks on Hillary Clinton, calling her a “horse” and playing an out-of-context video of her barking.
Jerry Falwell Jr.
The son of the late televangelist Jerry Falwell, Falwell Jr. is now president of Liberty University. He made headlines in December when he suggested he might pull a gun out at a campus assembly to demonstrate how to shoot terrorists. “I’ve always thought that if more good people had concealed-carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walked in and killed them,” he told his students.
The surprise winner of last month’s Colorado GOP Senate primary, El Paso County Commissioner Glenn is an African American and a self-described “unapologetic Christian constitutional conservative pro-life second amendment-loving American.” He believes in fetal personhood, thinks neighbors must spy on each other to root out potential terrorists, and has likened social safety net programs like Social Security to Jim Crow laws.
A underwear model turned soap opera actor, Sabato has been a strong supporter of Trump and his proposal to build a border wall. In recent weeks, he has tweeted that America should “Remove all politicians especially #obama #Hillary send them to #Gitmo remove all gun laws,” and proposed arresting President Obama and Hillary Clinton, which he called the “safe way keep the country safe.”
Before being elected a Republican U.S. Senator from Alabama, Jeff Sessions was a rejected nominee for a federal judgeship. The reason: senators were concerned about his history of racially insensitive remarks, including reportedlycalling the NAACP an “un-American” and “Communist-inspired” organization that “forced civil rights down the throats of people.” Today, he uses his perch in the Senate to attackimmigrants, who he says “create culture problems.”
PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel was revealed in May to be the secret backer of a lawsuit aiming to take down Gawker Media. After Gawker outed Thiel as gay in 2007, the billionaire lambasted the publication as the “Silicon Valley Equivalent of Al Qaeda.” He previously was behind a thus-far-unsuccessful scheme to build a man-made island where investors could avoid government influence and funds a fellowship that requires students to drop out of college — a program former Harvard President Larry Summers called “the single most misdirected bit of philanthropy in this decade.” Thiel has called the U.S. college system “as corrupt as the Catholic church was 500 years ago.”
Other speakers include former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani ®, who recently called Black Lives Matter “inherently racist,” voter suppressionist Gov. Rick Scott (R-FL), and Ben Carson, who admitted in March that he did not want to endorse Trump, but had been offered a position if he did.
More people could be added. On Thursday, RNC spokesman Sean Spicer told MSNBC that controversial former college basketball coach Bobby Knight, who allegedly once choked his own player, will also be on the docket.
UPDATE JUL 15, 2016 8:24 AM
In an Instagram video on Thursday, Tebow dismissed claims by RNC spokesman Sean Spicer that he would speak at the convention. “It’s amazing how fast rumors fly, and that’s exactly what it is, a rumor,” he said, noting he is currently focused on his foundation, not politics.
Like, and take Tim Tebow seriously. He’s a goddamn horrendous monster who already has the vote of every southern baptist and gator fan and every shithead who still sports a Tebow Broncos jersey they bought from some Chinese website. It doesn’t take much to get elected to the House. This guy’s going to be javelin throwing defense of marriage bills straight into the ground for years now.
Now, I’ve heard that the guy is a fucking idiot, which makes sense because he’s an Adam and Eve hung out with dinosaurs 6000 years ago jackass who went to the University of Florida. I’ve also heard he’s got the personality of a wet paper bag, so who knows how a political career will work out.
My favorite Tim Tebow story was, and I can’t remember the exact details, but apparently he wanted to get everybody to pray before the Wonderlic test (The written test designed to see how much thePublicly funded colleges have failed football players), and somebody said “Man, shut the FUCK up.”
…Trump wants celebrities. In fact, Trump has been courting celebrities from the sports world to speak at the convention, specifically naming people like Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger; both of those guys later said they would not speak at the convention or even attend at all. So if Trump couldn’t get Brady or Roethlisberger, who did he get? …that’s right. Trump wanted Tom Brady but got Tim Tebow. He’s like a guy who slept through his fantasy football draft so his buddies picked his roster. ‘Aw, who’s my running back? Dame Judy Dench?! Come on, dudes!’
Seth Meyers, ‘Late Night With Seth Meyers’, 7/14/16
So I guess this is the official start of the Tim Tebow political machine, grossssssssss. I was hoping Jesus’ Son would stick around in the league for a couple years in order to spare us the Tebow for Senate run until he’d gone through, at the very least, his fourth concussion, but alas. The guy had the wonkiest fucking throwing motion and refused to change it, and here we are.
Seriously, look at that throwing motion
Horse face monster John Elway literally preferred ANYBODY IN THE GALAXY to a guy who won a playoff game against the Steelers, and you can see why. He throws a football like he’s a side character in a Three Stooges Pie bit.
The Republican National Convention kicks off Monday afternoon and in typical Donald Trump fashion the full, final, official list of speakers wasn’t announced until Sunday night. There’s little question as to why, as it appears to have been thrown together at the last minute. And while what’s more notable than the names of people refusing to not only speak but even attend, the headliners Donald Trump has chosen speak volumes about what the soon-to-be Republican nominee for president thinks of what good management looks like, and what it takes to deliver results.
Not speaking of course are anyone named Bush, including either of the Presidents Bush, or the former Governor Bush. Neither is former GOP VP nominee and Trump surrogate Sarah Palin. Or, despite Trump’s promise, Tom Brady. Or, despite Trump’s promise, Tim Tebow.
Or, despite Trump’s promise, Boxing promoter Don King.
Curiously, Mike Huckabee who was on the original released list, is missing from the final list.
So who will be speaking?
True to form, in a stunning departure from previous conventions, Trump will be speaking on the first night of the convention, as well as on the last, to accept the nomination. Yes, it will be The Donald Trump Show.
The four day event is organized around variations of Trump’s signature “Make America Great Again” campaign rhetoric.
Monday: Make America Safe Again Tuesday: Make America Work Again Wednesday: Make America First Again Thursday: Make America One Again
Who does Donald Trump think should inform GOP voters about how to “Make America Safe Again”?
“Willie Robertson, CEO of Duck Commander and Buck Commander, star of Duck Dynasty The star of A&E’s hit series Duck Dynasty, Willie Robertson, is the CEO of Duck Commander and Buck Commander, a New York Times bestselling author, traveling speaker, father of five, and an avid outdoorsman.”
Who else knows about how to “Make America Safe Again”?
“Scott Baio, Actor and Television Producer Scott Baio is an actor and television producer. He landed his first starring role in the 1976 movie Bugsy Malone and is known for portraying memorable characters on several hit television shows, including Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi, and Charles In Charge. More recently, he has appeared in the Emmy Award-winning show Arrested Development and the Nick at Nite comedy See Dad Run, which he also produces. When he was young, Baio campaigned for Ronald Reagan, and in the 2016 GOP primary, he endorsed presumptive nominee Donald Trump.”
“Antonio Sabato, Jr., Actor Daytime television viewers know actor Antonio Sabato Jr. for his roles on General Hospital and The Bold and the Beautiful.”
Others included on the “Make America Safe Again” list include:
Pat Smith, Mother of Benghazi victim, Sean Smith Mark Geist, U.S. Marine Corps veteran, Fought in Battle of Benghazi John Tiegen, U.S. Marine Corps veteran, Fought in Battle of Benghazi U.S. Senator Tom Cotton (R-Arkansas) Governor Rick Perry, Former Governor of Texas Rudy Giuliani, Former Mayor of New York City Melania Trump, Businesswoman and Wife of Donald Trump
How about “Make America Work Again”?
“Dana White, President, UFC Dana White is the president and business visionary behind the success of Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). A self-described political independent, White has expressed his gratitude to presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump for helping the UFC succeed. Trump hosted the once-controversial mixed martial arts competitions at his Trump Taj Mahal casino property when other venues shunned the sport.”
“Andy Wist, Businessman Andy Wist founded the Standard Waterproofing Company in 1979. Beginning in his mom’s basement in Brooklyn, Andy grew the company into one of the largest roofing, waterproofing, and landmark restoration companies in New York City, that today counts more than 180 employees and is headquartered in the Bronx.”
“Tiffany Trump, Daughter of Donald Trump Tiffany Trump was born October 13, 1993 to Donald Trump and Marla Maples. Raised in California, she is the second-youngest of Donald Trump’s children. Tiffany graduated from University of Pennsylvania this spring with a double major in sociology and urban studies. She is a fashion model, singer, and influential presence on social media.”
Chris Cox, Executive Director of NRA Institute for Legislative Action Natalie Gulbis, Golfer, LPGA U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) U.S. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (WI-1) Governor Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey Dr. Ben Carson, Neurosurgeon
That’s just the first two days. It doesn’t get any better, or more credible as the convention wears on.
But the message is clear. If you’re a Trump family member, or work for Trump, you may be speaking at the convention. If you owe Trump something, you may be speaking at the convention.
If you’re a credible expert on the topic of the day you’re probably not speaking.
And if your name is Donald Trump, the 2016 Republican National Convention is all about you.
A night highlighting the tragedy in Benghazi, Libya. An appearance by onetime football star Tim Tebow. A presentation detailing former President Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct.
Donald J. Trump, the presumptive nominee, has been promising a different kind of Republican National Convention, and plans obtained by The New York Times show that he is eager to put his showbiz stamp on the party’s gathering, even as he struggles to attract A-list talent.
The roster of speakers obtained by The Times, and confirmed by two people with direct knowledge of the convention planning, reveals a lineup lacking many of the party’s rising stars. Instead, it features some of Mr. Trump’s eclectic collection of friends, celebrities and relatives, from his Slovenian supermodel wife to professional golfer Natalie Gulbis.
But what is striking, as much as who is on the list, is who is not. Several figures Mr. Trump had said he would invite to speak, like the boxing promoter Don King and Sarah Palin, the former Alaska governor, were not included. Neither was Tom Brady, the New England Patriots quarterback, a hugely popular figure in the key state of New Hampshire.
-Feels as good to play as 4 Ultimate did, perhaps even better
-My hunter’s cute
-Pet llama sleeps on your bed with you when you save
-Great color palette
-The series theme plays on the title screen
-JEGGIS are back
-My current sword and shield has all the strength of a wet tissue and its sharpness deteriorates faster than Tim Tebow’s career did