I bite my lip, my eyebrows furrowed.
I will myself to prevent tears from falling, and swallowed an ugly sob. I grit my teeth.
I try hard to suppress all these feelings because you don’t deserve evoking them from me.
You don’t deserve my foolish thoughts of you, coming back for me.
You don’t deserve my sadness whenever I see something and it reminds me of you when we were still together.
You don’t deserve the ache in my heart whenever I try to find you but end up getting lost because you left me, and I fucking miss your familiarity.
You don’t deserve my frown, my tugging of hair, my exasperated, long sighs.
You don’t deserve my heavy chest.

And darling, darling. I will keep on trying to suppress them. I will try my best.

—  This is my only revenge.

Now you say you’re lonely
You cry the long night through
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you

Now you say you’re sorry
For being so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you

You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember, all that you said
You told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and

Now you say you love me
Well, just to prove that you do
Come on and cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you
I cried a river…over you…

——–

Cry Me A River

Arthur Hamilton
1953

2

It’s nearly 4am and i can’t sleep. My boyfriend sleeps next to me and i realize how incredibly i’m in love with him and how lucky I am to have him in my life. I have never posted any pics of us in public and now it’s the really first time. He is the most beautiful human being i have ever met. He is funny, lovely, he listens to good music, I love his taste of clothes and he really cares about me. I have never had so much feelings for a boy like this. It isn’t always easy and sometimes I am mad at myself, because I’m so difficult and complicated. Sometimes we fight and it feels like everything is breaking but then I remember how  it was the first time I saw a falling star and he stood next to me or how we looked at the fireworks exploding across the sky or how I cried in front of him and he kissed my tears  away and I realize how blessed I am with him. Thank you so much. 

4

x

Bonus:

I don’t think it’s weird and apparently it isn’t that uncommon because I do have the same thing. Like when I get very scared (or even impressed) I automatically get tears in my eyes too. Can’t control it either.  But I don’t “cry” per se, it’s just tears in the eyes.