tearing me up inside

  • *in a cab; on the way to the christening*
  • Molly: *happily* Oh isn't this exciting? I bet she looks lovely. And John and Mary are wonderful parents...
  • Sherlock: *on his phone* Mmm.
  • Molly: *sighs* Oh, her name is just beautiful *giggles* I always wanted to name my daughter Persephone.
  • Sherlock: *glances at her*
  • Molly: *rolls her eyes* Hey, I was eleven at the time and really into all that mythology stuff.
  • Sherlock: *still typing* There are worse names for a child than Persephone Holmes.
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly: *raises an eyebrow* Why would it be Holmes?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* I always assumed you'd take your husband's name.
  • Molly: *scoffs* Yeah, well, I'm not going to marry Mycroft!
  • Sherlock: *confused* We've been sleeping together and you think-
  • Molly: *giggles* No, I mean, I just thought you weren't the marrying kind.
  • Sherlock: *sighs* Sex, Molly. I don't do that with just anyone.
  • Molly: *raises an eyebrow* You love me?
  • Sherlock: Obviously.
  • Molly: *smirks* I'm sorry? I didn't catch that.
  • Sherlock: *smiles* I love you.
  • Molly: *takes his hand* I love you too.
  • Sherlock: *coughs* So you'll...marry me, then?
  • Molly: *kisses his cheek* Of course I will.
I hate acting like l don’t care when it’s really tearing me up inside
—  (via sturzpoesie IG)
Your Sam

Summary: The reader and Sam have a much different sex life once Sam returns from Hell. Pure porn.

Warning: smut, soulless!Sam, dom/sub dynamics, use of a flogger, restraints, dirty talk

Word Count: 1500ish

A/N: It was fun to write Soulless!Sam again. Hope y’all enjoy! XOXO

The ropes cut into your wrists and ankles just enough for you to feel them, for them to remind you that you’re totally helpless, naked and spread out on an unfamiliar motel bed in an unfamiliar town.

The man standing at the foot of the bed is unfamiliar too, though he shouldn’t be. You know every inch of that body, have kissed and touched it a million times, have stared at that face until you knew it better than your own.

But it isn’t Sam’s smirk on that face. It’s a little harder. Darker. And it isn’t Sam’s hands wielding the flogger. They aren’t gentle or playful enough.

Hell has turned your Sam into some unrecognizable version of himself.

And honestly, you love it.

Keep reading

Talking to you was my favorite drug. Every text from you was a hit, and I found it soon turned into a constant craving. Your smile was my fix and after a while I was willing to do anything to see it, or to experience that wonderful feeling of being high on love and life that only you could instill in me.

But what goes up must come down, or so I’ve been told. For every high there is a low, and for every text there was an hour of staring at your picture and wondering where we’d gone wrong. For every smile there was a morning filled with tears because I had dreamed of you and woken up only to remember it wasn’t real. 

And yet, I go back. Despite the lows I still find myself texting you for stupid reasons, or happening to stand next to you in a group of people. You tear me up from the inside out and I’m still tied around your finger. You did more damage than a real drug could dream of.

—  The Highs and Lows of Loving You

rayy-the-sting  asked:

hey can i make a request for how reaper/76/hanzo/mccree would react to a particularly small s/o who hasnt eaten much for a week or two (with she/her pronouns plz)

Okay, I honestly think this is my favourite request so far,, I needed this myself to be honest aha <3


  • You were pushing food around your plate, your chin resting on your hand as you sighed.
  • Gabe took your hand from across the table, you smiled weakly at him. He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to tell you what was up.
  • Your fork fell to your plate with a clatter. You buried your head in your hands and sobbed, telling him you couldn’t do it.
  • He rushed to your side. You fell into his chest and cried harder. He simply scooped you up in his arms and carried you to your room. There he lay you down on your bed and comforted you for hours
  • When you calmed down, he asked you what you wanted to happen next. You both agreed that seeing Angela in the morning would be for the best.

Soldier 76:

  • Jack noticed it when you started going out more and more for longer hours. He grew conscious that you might be cheating on him 
  • When he finally confronted you, you shook your head, denying ever wanting to be with someone else because he was perfect for you. You came clean about going to the gym because you were trying to impress him, you were trying to lose weight so that he would love you more.
  • He shook his head, he had been noticing the change in your figure but he didn’t want to believe it. He thought you were fine just the way you were. 
  • So he asked what prompted you to do these things to yourself. Was it him? Did he say something wrong?
    You confessed that you’d heard other people at the base and around on the streets that they thought differently, that you didn’t match well with Jack because of your athletic abilities.
  • He was mad - not at you, but more at himself for not realising sooner. And he assured you that there were going to be stern words at work later, but right now his priority was taking care of you.


  • It was normal for you to steal his clothes, he liked how you were too small for them. But he would notice that even your own clothes were slowly also becoming too big for you
  • He crept behind you as you were staring at yourself in the mirror, your already small shorts had an awfully big gap between the waistband and your stomach. Hanzo slipped his arms around your waist and cradled you close.
        ~ “Do you think I need to lose weight?”
  • Hanzo was shocked. He was genuinely taken aback by your question. You turned around and looked at him, confused. He took a deep breath and shook his head.
       ~ “If anything, I want the opposite for you. I am so worried about you right now. I think you’re beautiful on so many more levels but clearly I’ve failed because you cant see that and to see you doing this to yourself is tearing me up inside. I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”
  • Now you were shocked. Hanzo wasn’t exactly a man of strong emotions and so for him to confess his love for you and say everything else was so sudden for you.
  • You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him and sighed, muttering an apology. He held you as he swayed you gently in his arms. Then he kissed your forehead and told you he would always be here


  • He’d address the problem as the two of you were in bed one morning. He would wrap his arm around your small torso and pull you into his chest.
  • Sighing deeply, he’d begin to start to run his fingers through your hair.
  • You knew he was avoiding something and so you rolled over in his arms and looked at him
        ~ “Just talk to me.”
        ~ “… I’m jus’ real worried about your eatin’, sugar.”
  • You looked down, feeling Jesse’s hand graze over every exposed rib and pointed bone in your spin. Your eyes welled up with tears and you felt your body begin to shake
  • He hugged you tighter, shushing you and reassuring you. He was here to help you get better, everything would be okay

People with BPD don’t over react. Stop saying that. We react to the emotions we are feeling. You don’t decide how powerful those emotions are. If I’m “over reacting” it’s because I’m reacting to a whirlwind of emotions that are tearing me up from the inside out.
Stop invalidating me. It’s not my choice to feel this way.

i never thought that after the mess of last year that this is where we would be. i’m so proud of the boys. they must have worked so hard to get to this point. highlight is a new beginning. i have been thinking about it this morning just happy because the new name is so meaningful. it’s their last work as b2st. it’s their new start as the new group. they aren’t forgetting their past but incorporating it into their future. 

hi5hli5ht forever <3

anonymous asked:

22. Muffled, from the other side of the door - Stony please and not too angsty hehe. THANKS!

Okay, this is super late nonnie, but thank you so much for the prompt <3 This is my first time writing for Steve/Tony, hope you like it and it’s not too angsty for you!

This is also for @captainstarkreportingforduty​ as a late birthday present, thank you for being awesome and for being the most amazing friend :DD


“You’re gonna have to talk to him sooner or later, you know?”

Steve acknowledged Natasha’s entrance with a nod before looking down at his sketchbook. He always liked to draw whenever he was upset and today was no exception, except this time the subject of this particular sketch was also the reason for his bad mood, and that didn’t help at all.

“He’s just gonna take what I say the wrong way and we’ll end up fighting again.” Nat approached the couch, nudging Steve aside to make space for herself.

“Well, considering you accused him of a reckless adrenaline junkie, I’m not sure how else you wanted him to take that. Rhodey says he’s been in the workshop for two days.”

Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands, fighting back the urge to march down to Tony’s workshop and check on him. Two days wasn’t even close to the longest amount of time he’d spent absorbed in a project, but he usually had Steve or Rhodey to remind him that food was something he needed every few hours or so to function properly, and he always asked JARVIS to lock them out whenever he was in a mood.

“I know! I just- you know I didn’t mean it like that, Nat.” she smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Of course you didn’t Steve, but Tony can’t see that. When you yell at him for being stupid and reckless enough to take a shot for you, it’s because of you love him, and you can’t stand to see him hurt, especially for you.”

Steve blushed, opening his mouth to issue an immediate denial, when Nat laughed, shooting a knowing look in his direction. “Don’t even bother Rogers, every single person on this team knows you think the sun sets and rises on Tony’s shoulders. In fact, I’m pretty sure you spend most of your time doodling “Steve loves Tony” in your sketchbook when you’re not drawing him in the workshop for the millionth time.” She paused. “Well, I’m not sure Tony knows. Although how that’s possible I have absolutely no clue, considering you moon after him even more than he does for you, and the boy’s got it bad.”

“He doesn’t-I-” Steve shook his head, placing his sketchbook down on the table. “I fucked up Nat. He’s cares so much about everyone on this team and he tries so hard to help people because he still can’t see how much of a godamn hero he is, and then I go off and accuse him of risking people’s lives for his own enjoyment. I just - I can’t stand it whenever he throws himself in harm’s way for me, not when the serum can take it.” He swallowed. “Not when he’s the person I love the most in the entire world.”

“Wow. You finally said it. Steve Rogers everyone, finally back from his swim in the Nile.” He laughed, leaning backwards against the couch. “I knew, I just didn’t want to say it, because that would make it real. And if it’s real that means I have to tell him. I need him, Nat. I love him, but more than that I need him. I couldn’t live with wrecking our friendship over this.”

Natasha met his eyes with a considering look. “And how is this any better? Blowing up at him because you’re too afraid to tell him how you feel, pushing him away when you feel too much at the thought that he might get hurt? We’re Avengers, Steve, we stare death in the face on a pretty regular basis, and if you really love Tony, that’s something you’re going to have to accept. He wouldn’t be the man you love if he didn’t risk his life every day to save others, to save you. Don’t make your love a weakness, make a strength. Tell him.”

Steve let out a breath. “Well what the hell am I supposed to say, Nat?” “Tony, I’m so sorry I yelled at you for being reckless, the truth is the thought of you getting hurt in my place tears me up inside because I’m stupidly head over heels in love with you and have been for months?” He heard a loud clatter and looked up, only to find Tony staring at him, mouth open in astonishment, his porcelain coffee mug shattered in pieces across the floor.

“Steve-” Tony started to speak, but Steve was up in an instant, fleeing from the room in a dead run, his breath coming in short panicked breaths as his world compressed down to an overwhelming feeling of sick dread. Tony knew. It was all out in the open now – no more pretending that the sight of Tony half-asleep and incoherent in the mornings didn’t send his heart aflutter, no more biting down a flood of jealousy at the sight of Tony charming investors at a charity gala… Tony knew and it was all over now.

He turned the corner, finally reaching his room before slamming the door shut behind him. He sank to the floor, face in his hands. He always knew Tony never feel the same way about him, but the look of utter shock on his face when he heard Steve’s words was almost too much to bear, as if Tony had never even considered Steve as a romantic possibility.

Suddenly behind him he heard a frantic knock on the door. “Steve? Steve- it’s me.” It was Tony, his voice desperate. At the sound of his voice, Steve looked up. Oh god, just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, now here was Tony was chasing after him, either to offer him comfort before having the “I just want to be friends talk”, or worse, to break off their friendship entirely. Steve cleared his throat, hoping against hope that his voice would remain steady. “Tony, I’m fine, I just – I just need to be alone for while. It’s fine.” It was absolutely, extremely not fine, but it’s not like Steve could open his eyes and suddenly wake up in an alternate universe where instead of being horrified at Steve’s confession, Tony returned his feelings so he didn’t really have any other options.

“No wait Steve you don’t understand! I-“ Steve sighed loudly. Why couldn’t Tony just make things easier for him? Confessing his feelings and being accidentally overhead was bad enough, now he had to put on a brave face about it. He stood up, his hand on the doorknob, when he heard Tony’s voice from the other side of the door “Steve, I’m- I’m in love with you too. I’m sorry I reacted badly, I just didn’t expect it, and I was thought you were still-“

His words were cut off by a loud bang as Steve threw the door open, and there was Tony standing in front of him, tired and like he did after he had spent days on a project in the workshop, but his eyes were bright, there was a small nervous smile on his face. He was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen.

“You love me?” his voice came out wobbly and disbelieving, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when Tony grinned and nodded, moving closer into his space. “Yeah, I do.” He looked down before hesitantly tangling their fingers together, sending a curl of warmth through Steve’s stomach. And what you said about the thought of me being hurt because of you tearing you up inside? That’s how I feel whenever you get hurt, so I’m not gonna apologize for taking a hit for you when I can.”

Steve smiled, putting his arms around Tony and pulling him impossibly close. “And why is that?”

Tony laughed, beaming up at him. “Because I love you, jerk.”

kaolincash  asked:

One time I saved the url of a youtube video to a text file and named it "put baked potato but don't" and like two years later I found it and was like "what is this" so I opened it and followed the link but the video had been removed. Ever since that day I have had a burning desire to uncover the truth behind "put baked potato but don't" and it tears me up inside. It is my one dream, my one true desire; to discover what it means to put baked potato but don't.

I know who can help.

Originally posted by rick-and-morty-gifs

9:00 am, I send you a text
“Good morning, I hope you slept well”
I continue to get dressed

9:05 am, I check my phone
No reply
You are probably still asleep
I eat breakfast

9:10 am, I check my phone
Still no reply
My mind races to the night before
What did I say?
What did I do?
I don’t know what happened
But all I know is this,
It’s over.
You are surely gone forever.
I feel tears and I feel rage
Welling up inside me
And surely I am about to burst
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,
How could you do this?
How could you leave me alone like this?
I needed you
You were my rock, my sunshine,
And I know why you left,
It was because you couldn’t handle
Because every day I am up and down
And round and round
And I have dragged you on this,
This wild roller coaster ride
And you couldn’t handle it
Who can handle it?

9:30 am, my phone chimes
“I overslept, I’m sorry”
I smile
I was wrong this time
—  Dating Mental Illness

Love is a bittersweet false prophet,
a two faced sacrosanct god,
an idol whose altar I worship at.

It’s aching, longing,
tearing apart heart strings,
eating up galaxies inside me.

I chase it down with a shot of vodka,
and pretend it’s burning can drown out my love.

I know it’s just a mix of chemicals.
Human euphoria with man made drugs.

Just my brain telling my heart to get really fucked up,
and oh how I do, over you.
(and I do it a lot.)

Love is a cult,
and I’m straight in the fucking middle of it,
open arms, chanting hippie mantras.

I’ll carve my heart into a mandala for you,
I’ll sow you a tapestry of my devotion.

I’m in an open field and
you are the meadow grass swallowing me up,
carry me away, enfold me in your arms.

I am a flower and you are the soil,
I bloom and you eat me up.

I can’t help it when I see you,
hands are always reaching, wanting, longing.

I have to stop my fingers from curling around yours,
or dragging across the curve of your cheek,
the hollow of your neck.

I have to stop my head from finding your shoulder,
my lips from parting for yours.

Love is a preacher,
and I am the congregation under his song.
Oh lord, how I pray.

Love is a siren,
and I am the ship of men,
Oh sea, drown me today.

Love is the fucking sun,
and I am the planet in it’s love struck cosmic embrace,
Oh gravity, take me away.

Love is longing, reaching, wanting
and fuck oh god, 
You don’t know how bad I want to.
You don’t know how bad I want you.

—  when I make you laugh it’s not like when I make other people laugh, because I don’t still hear their voice in my dreams for weeks. 
I keep thinking that maybe
I will miss you
but I know
that if I stay with you
I’ll stay searching
for an escape.
You see we
were never red wine,
trace my spine,
and make me feel alive.
I wanted the kind
of passion
that keeps me up
at night
and tears me apart inside.
Instead I was stifled
by your stability.
And you were drawn
to my darkness
because you lacked
any of your own.
I’ve always known
that I am not meant
for a white picket fence.
My heart was never looking
for a home.
I can build that all on my own.
So I know you promised
to always be a safe place.
But I was looking
for a storm to chase.
—  Storm Chaser, V.P.

I can literally cry during any movie if i allow myself to get involved enough in it lol. Being tough is about more than just being strong enough to kick peoples asses, its also about being in touch with ALL your emotions and knowing how to be able to feel any one or more of them at will. Don’t suppress your emotions people, that shit is not good. all I did for years… all right decades, was ignore and hide from them and all they did was tear me up inside. don’t do that to yourself. be in touch with all your emotions, this is how you know who you are. It it an important key to help you achieve true self actualization


a random mix of sentence starters from the killers lyrics, in no certain order and from a variety of songs.

❛ Just tryin’ to keep it in line. ❜
❛ You say you wanna move on. ❜
❛ You say I’m falling behind. ❜
❛ Can you read my mind? ❜
❛ I never really gave up on breakin’ out of this two-star town. ❜
❛ I got the green light. ❜
❛ I got a little fight. ❜
❛ I’m gonna turn this thing around. ❜
❛ Oh well I don’t mind, if you don’t mind. ❜
❛ 'Cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine. ❜
❛ Before you go, can you read my mind? ❜
❛ It’s funny how you just break down. ❜
❛ I pull up to the front of your driveway. ❜
❛ Tell me what you find when you read my mind. ❜
❛ Slippin’ in my faith until I fall. ❜
❛ You never returned that call. ❜
❛ I wanna breathe that fire again. ❜
❛ She/he said I don’t mind, if you don’t mind. ❜
❛ Put your back on me. ❜
❛ The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun. ❜
❛ You’re looking for a way out, I can feel it. ❜
❛ Come on, show me where it hurts, maybe I can heal it. ❜
❛ Your feelings are your own. ❜
❛ Now you keep them under lock and key. ❜
❛ You’ve got me driving through the streets for an answer to the mystery. ❜
❛ Outside that vacant starlight motel, I see you. ❜
❛ Not a care in the world. ❜
❛ Not a burden on your mind. ❜
❛ It was a matter of time. ❜
❛ There’s a panic in this house. ❜
❛ Just walking through the front door makes me nervous. ❜
❛ It’s creeping up the floorboards, got me wondering where I stand. ❜
❛ How can I put out the fire? ❜
❛ I’ve got a book of matches in my hand. ❜
❛ When we first met, headstrong and filled with doubt. ❜
❛ Made just enough, hustling tables, that summer to take you out. ❜
❛ I was falling back on forever. ❜
❛ When you told me about your heart. ❜
❛ You laid it on the line. ❜
❛ We’d find ourselves a place, we belong in this forever. ❜
❛ Ain’t that what it’s all about? ❜
❛ Make the promise and keep it. ❜
❛ We’d figure it out. ❜
❛ It was the night, it was the moon. ❜
❛ It was the green grass in the garden. ❜
❛ The victory and the sin. ❜
❛ I know you’re weary, look at me. ❜
❛ Here’s the towl. ❜
❛ Go on, throw it in. ❜
❛ Here’s the towl. Go on, throw it in. ❜
❛ Can’t you see that it’s tearing me up inside? ❜
❛ Look what’s laying at our feet. ❜
❛ That’s the wreckage of broken dreams. ❜
❛ And burned out halos. ❜
❛ And it’s here on our street. ❜
❛ It was a matter of time. ❜
❛ Flailing in the corner. ❜
❛ That’s the wreckage. ❜

dear dad, if i should even call you that
because you know you were never a dad, nothing more than rat
you were scum, you were a liar, you were a cheater, you were a jerk
and mom and me, we tried, but being a family shouldn’t be so much work
why’d you do it dad?
why’d you hurt us so bad?
all we wanted was your love, why was that so much to ask?
why was us being a family such an impossible task?
i’ve always wanted a dad, what i got was a father
it used to tear me up inside, used to destroy me like no other
but thank god i’ve got my mom, she’s twice the person you ever were
she’s a real class act despite everything you did to her
she was there when you weren’t and i know she always will be
so why am i crying over you? you aren’t crying over me
i don’t need you, i never did, and i know i never will
that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt sometimes, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still
but i’m stronger than you realize, and i’ll make it without you in my life
mom and me, we’ll be okay, even though your betrayal cut us like a knife
so fuck you dad, fuck you for all the pain
all the hurt, all the tears, all the bruises, all the strain
fuck you for everything you did to my mom
and excuse my language but how can you expect me to be calm?
because damn it dad, i’m angry, and i can’t help but to hate you
do you even blame me? after everything you put me through?
do you even care? do you even feel remorse?
or are you just thankful that mom finally asked for a divorce?
are you going to miss me – your own flesh and blood?
because i won’t miss you; our blood was never thicker than mud
your blood may run through my veins
i may carry your name
but i’ll never be yours; i’ve had it, i’m through
i’m not your child anymore, there’s no more “me and you”
so dad, this is goodbye, i wish you all the best – actually, no i don’t
i just wish you’ll get our head on straight, but i feel as though you won’t
i’m not holding my breath, i’m not waiting for a miracle
excuse me for being nothing but cynical
but you had your chance; again and again you did
and you never thought to change, not even for your kid
so dad, this is it, there’s nothing left i have to say
and for what it’s worth, let me add: happy father’s day
i hope this letter opens your eyes, i hope you finally see
but until then, this is it. goodbye, and sincerely, me
—  happy father’s day iii - @weepiingangel
(cc, 2017)
Until It’s Gone - Ch.3

Overview: Both brothers had loved and lost her. One night, Sam gets a phone call that changes everything.

Characters: Sam, Dean, Reader

Warnings: mild language, a tiny sprinkle of angst, fluff

Word Count: 1,544

A/N: This is the third chapter in my second fanfic series. Thanks to @wheresthekillswitch for being my lovely letter checker! I really like how this one is going, so I’m still feeling a good 8-10 chapters. Am I going to slow burn this one too? …Eh… :) Feedback is always loved and appreciated!

Read (Ch.1) (Ch.2)

My tags are way down below. Let me know if you want to be added to anything that I write :)

Sam sat in the backseat with Y/N curled up against his side. He’d given Dean vague directions to her house, but Sam was surprised to see that he didn’t really seem to need them. Dean turned down each road with precision, even cutting off a few minutes of time with a side-road that Sam hadn’t even known existed. He would have contemplated it longer if Y/N’s shivering body beside him wasn’t drawing all of his focus to her.

“I’d offer you my jacket, but it’s soaking wet,” Sam murmured against her head. He had an arm wrapped firmly around her shoulder, and his other hand gently traced circles on the back of hers.

“It’s ok,” she whispered back, giving his hand a small squeeze.

Keep reading

So inside out spoilers ahead….

I’ve come to the conclusion that Bing Bong is the darkest thing Disney/Pixar has ever done.

I know what you’re thinking, but what about Mufasa/Bambi’s mom? That’s dark yes but at least their children were aware of what happened. Riley won’t ever know. It didn’t mean anything to her cause she didn’t know, she hadn’t even thought of him for years!

That was Bing Bongs whole arc, it was him accepting he’d never be important to her again, that he wasn’t ever going to be part of her life again. He could never take her to the moon.

He made the ultimate sacrifice for Riley because of how much he loved her and it doesn’t mean anything to her at all. He cared about her more than anything and he was nothing more than a vacant memory to her, he’ll never be anything more than that to her and all he wanted to do was play with her one more time…and he never got to.

It literally hurts so fucking much.