01: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
At the moment I’ve got about three faggots stacked up that I agreed to date, never formally broke off and just stopped paying attention to so whatever. I’m kind of in love with this bitch that lives up in Washington. On the side I’ve got pretty considerable boners for a couple of my friends, one’s a cute chick living a few cities away from me, one’s a cool guy who might be in jail or traveling the country or something cuz he stopped talking to me. Single life’s normal man I don’t put up with shit I don’t gotta and masturbate with a hairbrush a lot.
02: Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
I can’t choose between oreos and fucking nutterbutters okay that’s not a question to ask me.
I dunno man.
Hopefully making good money and with the peace in my heart of finally telling my father that I love him and would be nothing without him but that he’s a delusional megalomaniac who needs to stop manipulating his family. Also some memory of touching Amanda Palmer’s hair maybe. Still a virgin if I’m lucky so if I decide to off myself I can summon Satan.
03: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
“Crack is whack, and ugg to drugs. Except for weed.” - Silas Botwin
04: Your views on religion.
I don’t fucking care much for organized religion, for a variety of reasons. I do think that at some point an energy that possessed consciousness became matter and organic life as we know it, but I’m averse to the idea of starting crusades or trottin’ door to door bothering hapless suburbanites in said energy’s honor. If your religion makes you feel better about your morality, or your course through life, or your physical impermanence, or the fact that in the end us jolly little humans are nothing more than incomprehensibly tiny, inconsequential bits of matter and consciousness dicking around aimlessly in this impossibly vast, clusterfucky circus of bullshit that is reality as we know it, then more power to ya, just don’t fuck up anyone else’s day, or your fucking children’s minds in your faith’s name.
13: Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Jimmy Urine’s asshole.
25: Someone who fascinates you and why.
My mother cuz the bitch is crazy and her potato and cheese stew kicks my ass.