dan saying ‘if he wasn’t behaving for the gaming channel’ is the equivalent to two husbands at a football game and one of them is holding the sides of his fold up chair tightly and the other is conspiratorially whispering to the team mom that his husband is about to run onto the field and tell off the referee even though he has no clue what’s going on but at the end of the game they win and the kid gets a capri sun and some cool ranch doritos and both hubbies are happy and pretend like the first husband wasn’t about to pop off

Team Trophy Husband Jack

I honestly now want the fic where Jack might be an extremely successful hockey player, etc, but for the rest of the world who don’t follow NHL and sport news, he’s Eric Bittle’s trophy husband.

Eric Bittle, who has his own Cooking Show, a Baking Contest Reality TV spin off, a chain of bakeries expanding all over the country, a series of books, and is a guest editor in some cooking magazines.

He’s Beyonce’s go to guy for Blue Ivy’s birthday cakes.

So yeah, his husband married him for the money. Never mind that they are college sweethearts and they married before Bitty had his big break.

And Bitty married him for his good looks. I mean Jack looks like a model, has that amazing bod and booty and is pretty much silent anytime they are in front of the cameras, it is clear he’s the classic dumb jock stereotype.

Bitty always gets extremely offended by that, Jack thinks it’s hilarious. He might play it up sometimes just to get out of interviews.

Jack always endlessly amused that the paparazzi that follow them are there for Bitty. They don’t particularly care about Jack. Their photos appear in the magazines as “Eric Bittle and husband.”

Jack has managed his life long dream of achieving invisibility in the media by marrying somebody who overshadows him. It is everything he ever wanted. He brags about it to anybody who will listen.

Bitty remains annoyed.

Once they are home, after going to a premiere of something/red carpet event.

“You have won 3 Stanley Cups! One two weeks ago! Why don’t they ask you about that? They only asked you what you were wearing!”

“Hugo Boss” Jack says without missing a bit.

“You could try not to make it so easy for them.”

“Fall Collection.”

“You are enjoying this too much.”

“Besides Bitty, you ordered a Pumpkin Spice drink today and went to do your own grocery shopping, how could I compare to that?”

“Jack this isn’t funny! I’m proud of you and I want them to know that.”

“I’m proud of you too, I mean, look at you walking down the street with sunglasses on.”

“I hate you.”

“Oh look, you are cheating on me with Shitty, Ransom, and Chowder… oh, also with Lardo? Bitty, I could forgive the first three, but not Lardo!”

“That’s it, you cannot buy anymore tabloids.”

“But Bitty! This magazine says we are getting a divorce! If I hadn’t bought the magazine, I wouldn’t have known to start packing my bags. Also, I apparently didn’t sign any prenup, so you owe me a lot of money.”

“I might leave you for Lardo after all.”

anonymous asked:

Has there ever been so many photos of Cait and Sam "sort of hanging out personally" before? A picture of them shopping together seemed about as likely as a sighting of unicorn. In just a few weeks, we've had the mall pictures, the Table Mountain outing, drinks after work and now a date at the rugby (and yes, it's a date otherwise there would have been others from the OL team with them!). My husband saw this latest photo and said one word: "Date"!

we’ve never gotten this many so consistently and in real time! it’s really strange and really amazing hahaha. I’m hesitantly really excited to see what else happens but I’m also keeping a level head bc you just never fucking know honestly. but yep I’d say it was a date :)

Chris Evans Fic: Unexpectant (2/2)

Warnings: some angst, topics of infertility and adoption.

@j-jewel-l tagged as per request :)


After settling Dodger in his bed for the night, Chris wearily ascended the stairs to your bedroom. Gently opening the door, he saw your sleeping form on the bed, fitful and uneasy. Quietly and slowly, he padded over to the bed and perched lightly next to you, watching your eyes flicker under your eyelids and your chest rise and fall with hitched breathing. He softly traced the tear tracks on your cheeks, wishing beyond anything that he could magic this all away.

Keep reading

littleplebe  asked:

"Could I get in trouble if I didn’t do something?" "Well, I don’t suppose so." "In that case, I didn’t do my mission report."

Darcy doesn’t do paperwork very well. Contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t really good at keeping Jane’s notes updated and organized. She was just better at it than Jane.

Her days as an intern are far in the past now. It’s been years since Darcy found herself staring bemusedly at a printout from a piece of scientific equipment an absent-minded astrophysicist built from scratch, and while there are some things she misses about working for Jane, the paperwork is one thing that she will never miss.

She thinks about this as she bends over to open the oven door. Heat blasts her in the face, and she’s assaulted by the delicious smells of oregano, tomato sauce, and garlic. Closing her eyes briefly and inhaling the amalgam of scents, she smiles to herself.

It’s definitely going to be her best lasagna yet.


“Something smells delicious,” Steve calls, and Darcy can hear the sound of the front door closing. “Where’s my wife?”

“Present and accounted for,” she retorts, standing in front of the half-wall that separates the kitchen and the dining room. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself,” he says, setting his shield down near the front door. His long legs make it possible for him to be standing directly in front of her in just a few steps, and Darcy turns her face up for a kiss. “How’d you get home so quickly?” He asks, when said kiss has been given.

She bats her eyelashes at him. “Ladies never kiss and tell.”

“Hm,” Steve says, narrowing his eyes at her teasingly. “Word on the street is that you’re no lady.”

Darcy puts her hands on her hips. “Really? If I’m not a lady, what am I?”

“A badass,” her husband replies. “Combat training has done you well.”

“You keep flattering me,” Darcy giggles, “and you might just get to do me well.”

He’s smoldering, and Darcy yelps as he reaches across the counter with his entire upper body, puts his hands around her waist, and lifts her clear over onto his side. “Is that a promise?” He asks, and he’s holding her so closely she can barely breathe.

“Yes, it’s a promise,” she exhales. “But I need to feed you first.”

“Why?” Steve asks, looking at her dubiously.

“Because for what I have in mind, you’re going to need all your strength - and then some.”


“You’re right,” Steve groans, pushing back from the table and putting his arms around his full stomach. “Best lasagna yet.”

“Told you,” Darcy grins, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“Seriously,” Steve starts, peering at her closely. “Are you Superwoman?”

She snorts. “No, but I’m curious as to why you asked.”

He shrugs. “You wake up at the crack of dawn to work out with Nat. You’re down in the lab all morning helping Tony. Middle of the day rolls around, and when everyone else gets called to a mission, you’re right there with us, suiting up. You kick ass and take names alongside the rest of the team, and still get cleaned up in time enough to beat me home and make my favorite meal.” He shakes his head. “Either you’re Superwoman, or there are seventeen of you running around, and I just hadn’t noticed until now.”

“Well, it isn’t my fault you and Fury like to have those super long post-briefing meetings.” She smiles up at him. “You really liked the lasagna?”

“I did.”

“I’m glad,” she says.

“So…” He leans forward, putting his elbows on the table. “Superwoman?”

“Not Superwoman,” she giggles.

Steve is looking at her expectantly. “But?”

“I have a hypothetical question to ask you.”

He’s curious. “Shoot.”

“Let’s say there’s an agent who just happens to be the wife of the team leader. She’s good, you know? Takes her training very seriously, is always there when her team needs her. Her husband, the team leader, thinks she’s fantastic. She thinks he’s pretty amazing, too,” she adds, wiggling her nose at him.

“Hmm… this all sounds very familiar,” Steve grins.

“Oh, does it?” Darcy feigns innocence. “I hadn’t noticed. Anyway,” she goes on, “hypothetically speaking, could said agent - the wife of the team leader, mind you - get in trouble if she, uh… forgot to do something?”

“Well,” Steve starts thoughtfully, “it sounds like she does a pretty good job of handling her responsibilities otherwise. So, unless it was something earth-shattering… no, I don’t suppose she’d get into trouble.”

“Oh, good,” Darcy sighs.

“Is this question still hypothetical?” Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Umm…” She chews her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Not really.”

The look of chagrin on her face makes him chuckle. “Darcy, what’d you forget?”

“Uh… I didn’t do my mission report,” she admits sheepishly.

He looks at her in surprise. “Darcy…”

“Okay, okay! I didn’t forget so much as neglect,” she starts. “But in my defense, I was planning on doing it after the sex…”

He sighs. “You really don’t like paperwork, do you?”

“No,” she says emphatically, shaking her head.

“How about this,” Steve starts slowly, and Darcy can tell by the way he’s thoughtfully stroking his chin that he’s formulating a plan. “I clear the table and wash the dishes while you go do your mission report. And when you come back,” he adds, blue eyes twinkling, “I’ll do something else for you.”

“What else?” Darcy asks, leaning forward in her seat.

“Come here and I’ll tell you.”

She obliges him, and giggles as he pulls her down into his lap. He whispers in her ear, and Darcy’s eyes widen. When he’s done telling, she leans back to look at him, eyes still wide. “Did those words actually just come out of Captain America’s mouth?” She shakes her head. “And furthermore, do you really intend to do that?”

“All evening long,” he replies, dropping her a wink. Darcy stands, her legs a little wobbly.

“I… I’m gonna go, go um, fill out the work. The paperwork. The mission report.”

Steve laughs. “Hurry back.”

(Send me a Shieldshock prompt!)

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

When God created woman from man He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” God created woman to be a perfectly suitable helper to the man. This means God gave the plan and agenda to Adam, and he and the woman together work to fulfill it. God gives to man the responsibility (and the accountability) to be the leader in the home and Church and gives to the woman the responsibility and the accountability to help him. We only see “helping” as a position of inferiority when we think like the world thinks. God considers positions of service as most important in His sight (Matthew 20:25-28). Not only was the woman to be a helper, but also she was made comparable to the man. She should be considered and honored as such. A woman or wife cannot be regarded as a mere tool or worker, but as an equal partner in God’s grace and an equal human being.

The apostle Paul wrote in both Ephesians and Colossians, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” and without proper context and study that would seem to pretty much make women inferior but as everything in life, context is key. Sadly, it’s hard to find those who really care to understand the context of passage or to study the original language in which the text was written.

The ancient Greek word translated as submit is essentially a word borrowed from the military. It literally means “to be under in rank.” It speaks of the way that an army is organized among levels of rank, with generals and colonels and majors and captains and sergeants and privates. There are levels of rank, and one is obligated to respect those in higher rank.

We know that as a person, a private can be smarter, more talented, and be a better person than a general. But he is still under rank to the general. He isn’t submitted to the general so much as a person as he is to the general as a general. In the same way, the wife doesn’t submit to her husband because he deserves it. She submits because he is her husband.

The idea of submission doesn’t have anything to do with someone being smarter or better or more talented. It has to do with a God-appointed order. Anyone who has served in the armed forces knows that rank has to do with order and authority, not with value or ability.

Therefore, submission means you are part of a team. If the family is a team, then the husband is “captain” of the team. The wife has her place in relation to the “captain,” and the children have their place in relation to the “captain” and the wife.

The form of the verb shows that the submission is to be voluntary. The wife’s submission is never to be forced on her by a demanding husband; it is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that her home (just as any other institution) must have a head.

The phrase “submit to your own husbands” defines the sphere of a wife’s submission. The Bible never commands nor recommends a general submission of women unto men. It is commanded only in the spheres of the home and in the Church (and one of the reasons why women can’t be leading pastors in the Church). God does not command that men have exclusive authority in the areas of politics, business, education, and so on.

The phrase “as is fitting in the Lord” is absolutely crucial. It colors everything else we understand about this passage. There have been two main “wrong” interpretations of this phrase, each favoring a certain position:

  1. The interpretation that “favors” the husband says that as is fitting in the Lord means that a wife should submit to her husband as if he were God himself. The idea is “you submit to God in absolutely everything without question, so you must submit to your husband in the same absolute way.” This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the extent of submission. But this is wrong. Simply put, in no place does the Scripture say that a person should submit to another in that way. There are limits to the submission your employer can expect of you. There are limits to the submission the government can expect of you. There are limits to the submission parents can expect of children. In no place does the Scripture teach an unqualified, without exception, submission - except to God and God alone. To violate this is to commit the sin of idolatry.
  2. The interpretation that “favors” the wife says that as is fitting in the Lord means “I’ll submit to him as long as he does what the Lord wants.” And then it is the wife’s job to decide what the Lord wants. This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the limit of submission. This is also wrong. It is true that there are limits to a wife’s submission, but when the wife approaches as is fitting in the Lord in this way, then it degenerates into a case of “I’ll submit to my husband when I agree with him. I’ll submit to him when he makes the right decisions and carries them out the right way. When he makes a wrong decision, he isn’t in the Lord, so I shouldn’t submit to him then. It isn’t fitting to do so.” Simply put, that is not submission at all. Except for those who are just plain cantankerous and argumentative, everyone submits to others when they are in agreement. It is only when there is a disagreement that submission is tested.

As is fitting in the Lord does not define the extent of a wife’s submission. It does not define the limit of a wife’s submission. It defines the motive of a wife’s submission. It means, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands because it is a part of your duty to the Lord, because it is an expression of your submission to the Lord.” They submit simply because it is fitting in the Lord to do it. It honors God’s Word and His order of authority. It is part of their Christian duty and discipleship.

Therefore, as is fitting in the Lord means:

• For wives, submission to their husband is part of their Christian life.
• When a wife doesn’t obey this word to submit to your own husband as is fitting in the Lord, she doesn’t just fall short as a wife. She falls short as a follower of Jesus Christ.
• This means that the command to submit is completely out of the realm of “my nature” or “my personality.” Wives aren’t expected to submit because they are the “submissive type.” They are expected to submit because it is fitting in the Lord.
• This has nothing to do with your husband’s intelligence or giftedness or capability. It has to do with honoring the Lord Jesus Christ.
• This has nothing to do with whether or not your husband is “right” on a particular issue. It has to do with Jesus being right.
• This means that a woman should take great care in how she chooses her husband. Remember, ladies: this is what God requires of you in marriage. This is His expectation of you. Instead of looking for an attractive man, instead of looking for a wealthy man, you better first look for a man you can respect.

As is the case in every human relationship, the command to submit is not absolute. There are exceptions to this command for a wife to submit to her own husband:

• When the husband asks the wife to sin, she must not submit.
• When the husband is medically incapacitated, insane, or under the influence of mind altering substances, the wife may not submit.
• When the husband is violent and physically threatening, the wife may not submit.
• When the husband breaks the marriage bond by adultery, the wife does not need to submit to her husband being in an adulterous relationship.

And finally, Paul finishes that verse in Colossians by saying, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Paul’s words to husbands safeguards his words to wives. Though wives are to submit to their husbands, it never excuses husbands acting as tyrants over their wives. Instead, a husband must love his wife, and the ancient Greek word translated as love here is agape.

Significantly, this puts an obligation upon the husbands in here. In the ancient world - under Jewish, Greek, and Roman customs, all power and privileges belonged to husbands in regard to wives, to fathers in regard to children, and to masters in regard to slaves. There were no complimentary powers or privileges on the part of wives, children, or slaves.

The verb agapao does not denote affection or romantic attachment; it rather denotes caring love, a deliberate attitude of mind that concerns itself with the well-being of the one loved.

Strictly speaking, agape can’t be defined as “God’s love,” because men are said to agape sin and the world (John 3:191 John 2:15). But it can be defined as a sacrificial, giving, absorbing, love. The word has little to do with emotion; it has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another.

Some can read this passage and think that Paul means, “Husband, be kind to your wife.” Or “Husband, be nice to your wife.” There is no doubt that for many marriages, this would be a huge improvement. But that isn’t what Paul writes about. What he really means is, “Husband, continually practice self-denial for the sake of your wife.”

Of course, this agape love is the kind of love Jesus has for His people and this is the love husbands should imitate towards their wives (Ephesians 5:25).

The implication of “And do not be bitter toward them” is perhaps the wife has given the husband some reason to be bitter. Paul says, “That doesn’t matter, husband.” The husband may feel perfectly justified in his harsh or unloving attitude and actions towards his wife, but he is not justified - no matter how the wife has been towards the husband.

Agape loves even when there are obvious and glaring deficiencies, even when the receiver is unworthy of the love.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her

Paul’s words to Christian husbands safeguards his previous words to wives. Though wives are to submit to their husbands, it never excuses husbands acting as tyrants over their wives.

As Martyn Lloyd-Jones put it, "It is not naked power, it is not the power of a dictator or a little tyrant, it is not the idea of a man who arrogates to himself certain rights, and tramples upon his wife’s feelings and so on, and sits in the home as a dictator. No husband is entitled to say that he is the head of the wife unless he loves his wife. So the reign of the husband is to be a reign and a rule of love; it is a leadership of love.”

Jesus’ attitude towards the church is a pattern for the Christian husband’s love to his wife. This shows that the loveless marriage doesn’t please God and does not fulfill His purpose. This is love given to the undeserving. This is love given first. This is love that may be rejected, but still loves.

Charles Spurgeon said this, “It is possible that some husbands might say, ‘How can I love such a wife as I have?’ It might be a supposable case that some Christian was unequally yoked together with an unbeliever, and found himself for ever bound with a fetter to one possessed of a morose disposition, of a forward temper, of a bitter spirit. He might therefore say, 'Surely I am excused from loving in such a case as this. It cannot be expected that I should love that which is in itself so unlovely.’ But mark, beloved, the wisdom of the apostle. He silences that excuse, which may possibly have occurred to his mind while writing the passage, by taking the example of the Savior, who loved, not because there was loveliness in his Church, but in order to make her lovely.”

We might say that Paul taught two things at once here. He taught about the nature of the relationship between husband and wife, and he taught about the relationship between Christ and His Church. Each illustrates important principles about the other.

Jesus’ action towards the church is a pattern. This helps us define what agape love is all about: it is self-sacrificing love. How should a husband love his wife? As Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. What did that involve? Perhaps the best statement concerning that matter is in Philippians 2:5-8, where it shows that the focus of Jesus was on the church. It was for the church that He did what He did, not for Himself.

This word is especially needful for husbands who see headship in submission with worldly understanding instead of godly understanding. Some husbands think that because God said they are the head of the home and the wife is obligated to submit to them that they do not have to be humble, lay down their lives, and sacrifice for the benefit of their wife. They need to understand the difference in thinking between worldly headship and godly headship.

  • Worldly headship says, “I am your head, so you take your orders from me and must do whatever I want.”
  • Godly headship says, “I am your head, so I must care for you and serve you.”
  • Worldly submission says, “You must submit to me, so here are the things I want you to do for me.”
  • Godly submission says, “You must submit to me, so I am accountable before God for you. I must care for you and serve you.”

This is not the height of romantic love as the world knows it. This isn’t love based on looks, image, the ability to be suave and cutting-edge cool. This is love expressed through sacrifice.

This super rad art deco stylized Kylo Ren is by Ron Guyatt, part of the husband/wife team of @fabledcreative​ 

797 Days until Episode IX

434 Days until the Han Solo Movie