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Jasmine and Jafar talking about tigers, suitors, and…fish-fuckers?

Ja'far returns to the Palace to welcome a very important visiting Prince from the land of Pik-zahr, but wait! Isn’t the Princess known to sick tigers on visiting Princes?! I really hope you haven’t goofed this one up, Ja'far!

A list of my favorite quotes from Firebringer:

“Well guess what you privileged fucks?” 

“Go ahead and hold my stick, I know you like that.”

“I have loved you from the moment I clobbered your mother to death.”

“I probably would have just kept eating it ‘til I died.”

“So… I’m not special?” “Oh, Tiblyn… no.”

“What’s the point of hard work if we’re not doing it to please a duck?”

“Don’t be mean to Lauren.”

“I believe if we burn enough things, we can change the climate permanently.”

“Emberly, you just shat out a fire.”

There are two stage adaptions of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

  • Random time travel with the help of illegal Time-Turners
  • Voldemort maybe has one- no, two affairs!
  • VOLDEMORT HAS A DAUGHTER?
  • Who is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
  • OOC versions of characters
  • Rose is stoic
  • Wrong use of the Marauder’s Map
  • Cedric flying naked on a broomstick of purple feathers
  • Craig
  • Blood Ball for Voldemort Day
  • Snape apparently is a good guy?
  • Sabotaging canon
  • “Scorpian King” Scorpius Malfoy
  • Ron married Parvati
  • For Voldemort and VALOR!
  • Headmistress Umbridge is back with Dementors
  • Harry’s afraid of the dark, small spaces and pigeons.

A Very Potter Musical-series

  • Harry is a douchebag with a guitar who does covers of Disney songs
  • Ron is addicted to Red Vines
  • Ginny dances with guitars
  • Hermione’s true passion is fanfiction.
  • Random time travel with the help of illegal Time-Turners
  • Voldemort and Quirrell end together and have a daughter.
  • Cedric is a good finder.
  • Draco wANT HERMIONE GRANGER- andarocketship.
  • Lucius Malfroy and Lord Voldemort are dancers
  • “My name’s Lucius, but you can call me Lucy. When I grow up, I want to be a Rockette.”
  • Snape has a talk show outside the shows.
  • The infamour Hogwart’s jaguar
  • GILDERROY, THE MOUSE PRINCE
  • Cho Chang y’all
  • Weird versions of characters.
  • Ron choreographed an affair with Lavender behind Hermione’s back.
  • Narcissa had an affair and Dobby is Draco’s real father.
  • James and Lily split, and Lily is married to Cedric now.
  • Dumbledore loves High School Musical
  • Headmistress Umbridge is back with Dementors.
  • Albus Scarfy Potter

Only one of them is a parody

My favorite things that happen every time Starkid performs live:

1) the audience singing Darren’s part during “Not Alone” like it’s some kind of hive-mind moment where everyone just knows everyone else is going to do it

2) the audience yelling their respective houses at the appropriate times in Back to Hogwarts

3) Joey, without fail, kicking the air when he gets to the “kick some ass” line in Back to Hogwarts

4) the audience collectively losing their shit when Joey and Lauren end up onstage alone together because they know what’s coming next

5) matching outfits