team name joke

SOMEONE WRITE A FANFIC WHERE CASTIEL SIGNS UP FOR GISHWHES 

AND MISHA SCOFFS AT HIS NAME THINKING IT’S SOMEONE PRETENDING TO BE HIS CHARACTER

BUT 

WHEN CAS’S TEAM WINS (Bonus if their team name is a bee joke), MISHA GETS THE BIGGEST SHOCK OF HIS LIFE,

HIS COCONUT BRA SLIDING DOWN AWKWARDLY AND CAS’S TEAMMATES LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THE SIDE WHILE BUILDING SANDCASTLES AND SIPPING CHAMPAGNE 

Immortal FAHC headcannons

Each member of the team is immortal, but it goes beyond that. Their immortality is just a secondary bonus compared to the main power they got when they respawned the first time. Each one is different.

Geoff –
He can turn any liquid into alcohol. Hand him a coke, he’s drinking whiskey. Orange juice turns into moonshine. It’s cool to watch, because it swirls without being stirred, then is suddenly perfectly clear. But it’s more than just drinking though. He’s turned water bottles into a Molotov cocktail. Ever try to run a truck when it’s only Everclear in the tank? It doesn’t work well.

But there is a dark secret to this power, and he only does it when he is pissed off. He can turn the bloodstream into alcohol as well. It kills quickly, not instantly, but quickly and it’s painful. It’s even more painful if Geoff decides to set them on fire. And he can do it not only with blood, but with any human fluid. Snot, piss, spit, tears, all of it.

He doesn’t let himself torture people anymore.

Jack –
Jack shapeshifts. She can turn into any animal that she’s seen (and she spent a decade on safaris just to expand her horizons). She can also change her human form, but she only has two shapes for some reason, her cute red-headed female form and a large male form with an impressive beard. She likes her bearded form for driving to heists and when the boys get into the car, she’s back to her female form, tearing down the roads like a crazy person.

She has also spent entire days curled up in a sunbeam as a ginger Mancoon cat. She has sat in Ryan’s lap as a dog. She enjoy spending time in various animal forms in the apartment, just to surprise or comfort her boys.

She also tore an entire rival gang apart as a bear because Michael bet her $1000 she couldn’t. She hasn’t done it again and doesn’t talk about it much, mainly because that bestial rage is a little more addicting than she wants to think about.


Gavin –
Gavin spent the first fifty years of his immortality thinking he didn’t have a power. He thought he was broken. Then the industrial revolution happened, and suddenly it all made sense. Gavin’s power was with machinery and technology.

He can make anything work. Computers are like an extension of himself, and they do his bidding. He spends hours in front of a screen every day, perfecting and playing, hacking into things that he shouldn’t. He’s coaxed information out of the most secure databases on the planet.

For some reason, it doesn’t extend to video games. Michael and Ray beat him on a daily basis without trying. Gavin just cannot convince games to do what he wants, and he always loses.

Ray –
Ray doesn’t miss. It’s physically impossible for him to miss now. It doesn’t matter what he’s got, once a projectile leaves his hand, it hits what he’s aiming at. Even if he isn’t really aiming, it’ll hit the target. He can’t miss.

He wins extra cash off of dart games when he’s running low. He wins carnival games when the guys drag him out to them. He always ends up getting banned at some point in the evening. He likes making random bets with Gavin, mainly because he knows he’ll win.

“Bet you I can hit the dumpster on the other side of the building.” And ping, somehow ricocheting off three buildings, a car and a freaking phone line, the bullet goes straight through the dumpster.

Jeremy –
He shrinks. It’s part of the reason why he’s an infiltration expert. He can shrink down to any size he wants and can go anywhere. He used to hate it, used to hate the fact that he was smaller than everyone else, but he finally came to just accept it.

It’s when he joins the Fakes, and Michael jokingly yells “Lil’ J!” as he shrinks down to get on the other side of a door, that Jeremy starts actually liking his ability. Every team name is a short joke, and he goes along with it, finding the humor in it.

He keeps getting dragged into stupid pranks too. He’s lost count of how many times he’s been asked to shrink down and infiltrate Gavin’s room jut to move everything three inches to the left.

Ryan –

There is reason behind the mask and the face paint. He started wearing something like it a long time ago, when he finally realized what his power was. He is ridiculously charming. He can convince anyone to day anything with a just a wink and a smile. He’s conned people out of their livelihoods before, just to see if he could do it. He was a real vagabond for a very long time, knowing that he could always get food with just a grin.

There are people who are naturally immune to it though. Geoff proved to be one, as did Jack, much to Ryan’s relief. It was part of the reason why Ryan decided to join the Fakes. Being exposed to it for a while can also help build up an immunity too, though it fades if Ryan’s gone for a while. That’s why Ryan was one of the Lad’s favorite people in the beginning.

Michael –
He is naturally angry, always has been, and that anger translates into his power. He gets stronger the angrier he is, almost like the Hulk. It’s a gradual thing, where he starts off small and happy, but as he gets more and more pissed, he starts to be able to throw things that’s beyond human comprehension.

It goes further than that too. He also becomes impervious to damage the angrier he gets. Not particularly useful one would think since he’s already immortal, but it’s gotten him out of hot water before. Pissed off and swinging a shotgun like a sword, he’s been shot at with a minigun and shrugged it off like it wasn’t even a bee sting. He’s gotten high on rage and walked through a mine field just to see if he was in one piece on the other side. He was.

He has to be careful in the apartment though. He once got angry at a video game and threw a controller at a television. The controller went through the Tv, the wall, and shot off into the sky where it hit a passing helicopter. It went straight through the cockpit, killing the pilot instantly. The helicopter crashed in the middle of the interstate, causing one of the worst pile-ups Los Santos had ever seen.

Geoff screamed himself hoarse over the television.

The Trail To Oregon! NYC Character names, May 30, 2pm Showing:

Dad: Mitt Romney
Mom: Zefron
Daughter: Bucket
Son: Pizza Pizza
Grandpa:  Patti LuPone
Last Name: Gluten-Free

When Corey got his name, he says “Well, I can dance like Patti.” Then he starts moving his hips around.

Corey calls Jeff “Barack” at one point and Jeff goes “That one really hurt”. And at another time the Dad is all upset and Jeff whispers “I just wanted to be a politician.”

When the mom is angry at the Daughter Rachael said “Oh, Bucket. Sometimes I could just kick you!”

And when McDoon is trying to get Daughter to caulk the wagon he says “Now take that bucket, Bucket!”

They made so many name jokes, it was amazing.