She didn’t respond. Just stood at the door stunned at my sudden appearance. Probably because she’s been avoiding me. She gulped but didn’t say a word.
“Come on, Kae. I haven’t heard your voice since…..well, since now because you fell for my fake accent.” I chuckled a bit until I realized Kae wasn’t laughing with me. I got serious again. “Come on, baby girl. Talk to me.”
Kae crossed her arms looking to the side as her chest rose in the deep breath she took.
“Why are you here?”
“Why am I here? I don’t know, maybe because I want to fix things with my girlfriend.”
She didn’t reply. Just looked down at her feet and back to the side. Her eyes fell upon everything but me.
I sighed stuffing my hands in my pockets. “Come on. Let’s just take a ride to McDonald’s or something and talk.”
The McDonald’s got her. Kae grabbed her jacket off the rack and locked the door behind us. She got into the passenger seat and I got into the driver’s seat. When I drove off, Kae stared out the window. After a long period of silence, I cleared my throat.
“So what?” Kae spat glaring at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows looking at her then back at the road.
“Nigga, you wanted to talk. Talk.” She continued scoffing and shaking her head.
I sucked my teeth as we parked in the parking lot of McDonald’s.
“You really wanna play this game? Really?”
Kae let out a sarcastic laugh. “I don’t want to play any game. Shit, I don’t even want to be here.” she leaned back in her seat avoiding my eyes again.
“Then get the fuck out then!”
Kae laughed in response. “Ok! I’ll be glad to!” I watched as she pulled the beige lock up, grabbed the handle, and attempted to open the door. She got rougher.
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah. I put child lock on your ass since you want to be so fucking childish!”
Kae turned to glare at me. “Fuck you!”
“Oh shut up! If you didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t have gotten in the damn car in the first place!” I yelled back.
She stuck a finger in my face. “No, you shut up! You want to fuck around, get your ex bitch pregnant and expect me to be chill with that? Chris, we’re fucking 17! You think I want to play Stepmom at 17?! Really?! Or play stepmom at all?!”
“Do you really think I want to be a dad at 17, Kae?! Because I don’t, ok? I don’t. And there’s a chance this child is not even mine!” I shouted.
“But there’s also a chance that it is! God, Chris! Really?! A baby changes everything! It changes your life, our life! I’m not trying to sound selfish but I don’t want to share my boyfriend who I finally got after all these years with Jasmine and a child! Next thing I know, you go running back to that hoe to have a big happy fucking family and I’m the dumbass broad who thought I was shit to you!” Kae screamed with tears rolling down her cheeks. My face softened taking in everything she had just said. She was scared. Under all this anger, she was scared to lose me, the fuck-up.
“You think you’re gonna lose me, boo?”
Kae nodded looking back at me and whispered.
She began to wipe her tears and sniffled. “I’m sorry. I know that was some selfish shit but damn it, Chris. I got selfish with you. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. Finally, you’re mine but I’m losing you again. I thought about how all this is a lot for you. A baby, Chris. A baby who needs and deserves a father and God forbid, if you are the father, you got to be there for the child. You can’t be there for me. A child trumps a girlfriend. I was honestly trying to distance myself so when the day comes, it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
I leaned over to the passenger seat and possessed her lips with mine. I held her face as our tongues battled and her hands found my neck. Her confession made me just want to kiss her, hold her. When we pulled away, I rested my forehead on her.
“You’re not losing me. Whether this baby is mine or not, I’m not letting you go. You hear me?” Kae nodded in response.
“Good. Now kiss me.”
She followed my command and we continued to make out in my car.
The ride back home was completely silent. I was stuck with my thoughts. Even though everything was resolved, I was just really thinking about everything Kae said. It’s true. If this baby really is mine, I’m just going to hurt her. Unintentionally, of course, but I’m still gonna do it. Another thing she’s right about is me asking her to be a stepmom at 17 just because I fucked up becoming a dad at 17. It’s not fair to her.
“Chris, you ok? You’ve been quiet the whole time.” Kae spoke up and I realized that I was already pulled up to her house.
I turned off the ignition staring straight ahead. “You’re right.”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “About?”
“About you becoming a stepmom and getting continuously hurt. Babe, i don’t want to hurt you.” I got out of the car going towards my house when she stopped me.
“No. It’s not fair to ask all of this from you. It’s better if I let you go. Kae, I understand. I understand that this is too much for you to handle. Shit, It’s too much for me to handle but I can’t run away from it. You can. Goodbye, Karrueche.” With that, I entered the house closing the door behind me. Tears threatened to release from my eyes. Did I really just break up with Kae? I had to. I can’t be selfish.
“Hey mama.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m gonna go to bed, ok?”
“You ok, baby?”
I haven’t told her about the Jasmine thing.
“I’m fine.” I continued to my room. I laid my bed staring at the dark blue ceiling. A tear really fell my eye. I fucked up. I really did.
I think you’re truly something special
Just what my dreams are really made of (dreams are really made of)
Lets stay together you and me boy
There’s no one like you around Oh baby
I heard the song play from behind my bedroom door. I wiped my face and heading for the door. My fingers lingered over the doorknob before giving it a turn to open. There stood Kae with the stuffed Pikachu clutched to her chest and her phone, the source of the music, in her hand. I finally looked at her face which was wet with tears causing my chest to twist. She paused the music and stared at me.
“As soon as you promised you weren’t going to hurt me, you go and do it.” Kae choked out.
“No, I’m talking, Christopher.” She replied sternly and like the little bitch I am for her, I obeyed.
“I would be the worst girlfriend ever if I left you when you need me the most, because I know how that feels.”
Damn, that was a low blow but I’m gonna take that L.
“Believe or not, I need you too. Chris, you made a mistake. You’re gonna make a lot more but you got to learn from them and I’ll be in the class with you. When I said this shit was forever, I meant it. I’m so into you. I’m too into you to let us go like that.”
“Me too. I’m sorry, Kae.” I kissed her forehead and enveloped her in a bear hug which she trembled in.
“You’re mine.” She mumbled into my chest.
I chuckled looking up at Mom who was smiling giving me a proud nod. She still doesn’t know what’s going on. When Kae pulled away, there was a small dark patch under her eye. I touched her cheek and a tan substance came on my fingers. Make-up.
“What happened?” I continued to wipe under her eye. As a result, the dark patch grew bigger and there was more substance on her fingers. Kae walked away and I followed her.
“Kae, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.” She continued to walk fast.
I grabbed her arm and she hissed pulling me off.
“Karrueche, who did this to you?” I questioned sternly.
“Chris, it’s nothing!” Kae looked at me. “Nothing to worry about.”
Before I could say anything else, she walked out the door. I’m gonna find out.
What if I was a little lighter? Not a little, just lightskin in general. I mean darkskin’s not in at all. It’s all about lightskin girls.
No, Amber. Don’t do this. You’re not some insecure girl. The darker the berry, the sweeter juice right?
I unlocked my phone and mumbled a “shit” when I realized I was going to be late for my date with Trey. Trey would have a bunch of smart ass shit to say so I better get a move on. I got dressed in grey jeans, white tank, and placed my green peacoat over it. I gathered my hair in a high ponytail. As I did my make-up dancing along to Beyonce, Trey blew up my damn phone. Shit, he must be outside. I finally emerged from the house and got inside the passenger seat of his white Nissan Maxima.
“You were jamming to Beyonce in the bathroom again?” Trey raised an eyebrow.
“You know I love Beyonce.”
“Too much.” Trey mumbled pulling off.
I pushed his head then stuck out my tongue. “Stop being a hater.”
We had finally arrived to the cinema and we exited the car. Trey immediately grabbed my hand causing me to blush.
“What movie?” Trey asked as we stood in between the two velvet ropes.
“Ooh! 50 shades is still here!” I cheesed in excitement. I’ve read all of those books and I’ve been dying to see the movie.
“Babe, I don’t know about this.”
I pouted. “Come on, Trey.”
“Well hello Trey.” this woman came over to us. She was beautiful and couldn’t be old.
I looked at Trey who was stunned. I nudged him and he came back to life. He stared at this woman speechless and I examined both of them. Her deep brown eyes were full of lust. I furrowed my eyebrows hoping my assumptions were incorrect.
“Hi. I’m Amber, Trey’s girlfriend.” I stuck out my hand to shake hers.
She raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Trey, you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend yesterday.” She bit her bottom lip winking as she walked up to him touching his chest. What the hell?
“Yesterday?” I glared at Trey who was still far away.
“Oh yes. I was at his house yesterday. You remember, Tremaine?” She purred subtly touching his crotch. I rolled my eyes scoffing.
“You know what, Trey? Go to hell.” I walked up to the front desk to purchase my ticket.
“Amber, this isn’t what it seems like!” Trey choked politely pushing the woman away. “That’s Jackie, my mom’s friend.”
I glared at him snatching my ticket from the vender. “Is that supposed to make shit better? Go to hell with her.” I pushed past him angry as hell as I stormed far into the theater.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m calling this bitch to find out what’s going on with my girlfriend. Well, she’s definitely ain’t telling a nigga what’s up so I’m gonna find out from her sister.
Right when I was thinking about hanging up, the devil finally answers.
“Jasmine? It’s Trell.”
“Yeah, I know I got caller ID.”
I decided it was best to ignore her smart ass comment, especially since I need her and she’s knocked up.
“Jasmine, what’s going on with Heather?”
“Well hello to you too, Trell. I’m doing pretty shitty. Thanks for asking.” Jasmine spat something smart again.
“Jasmine, I don’t give two shits how you’re doing. You put yourself in that position. If you’re looking for sympathy, you ain’t gonna find it from me.” I bluntly stated which resulted in her sucking her teeth and an eye roll I could detect from over the phone.
“Whatever, Trell. Goodbye.”
“Wait! Can you at least answer the question?”
“Figure it out. All I can say is that you’re not doing your fucking job!” She spat before hanging up the phone.
I’m not doing my job? I clasped my hand around the white bottle Heather dropped in the hallway. Diet Pills. I decided to go see Heather. When I knocked on her door, Heather answered and I held up the bottle.
“What the hell are these?”
“Fuck, I hate the rain.” I cursed when I opened the front door. It’s fucking spring and it’s still cold as shit. I pulled the hood of my North Face over my head. I hissed rubbing my arms. My bruises were healing but it still hurt a little. As I walked down the steps of my porch, I saw a familiar crimson Toyota. I opened the passenger door and got inside.
“Christopher.” I acknowledged removing my hood and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Your parents are never home.” he noticed doing a U-turn.
“Well, they’re always working.” I Indicated in a sigh.
“Kae, we need to talk about that black eye that you keep covering up with make-up.” He leaned over to touch my eye.
“Chris, don’t sweat it. I-”
Think, Karrueche, think.
“I was opening a jar and the lid hit my eye.” I lied and then smiled at how smooth that lie was. He reluctantly believed it. We pulled up to school and I exited the car passing over the front of it. Chris met me halfway and held my hands.
“Chris, it’s raining!” I squealed trying to break free.
“Don’t be distant. You know I hate that. Tell me what’s going on.” Chris said with his eyes closed and forehead pressed against mine.
“I will.” I whispered.
“Chris, can I talk to you?” Jasmine’s voice interrupted.
Chris looked from me to her and nodded. “Go.”
“Alone.” She glanced at me.
“Anything you got to say-”
“Chris, it’s ok. This is none of my business. I’ll see you later, babe. Good morning, Jasmine.”
“Good morning, Karrueche.”
I removed myself from Chris walking up to the concrete steps ignoring my tears that threatened to release.
You signed up for this, Rue. Deal with it.
I found my locker and began putting in the combination when I felt a presence over me.
“Chris, aren’t you talking to Jasmine?” I scoffed trying and failing to hide my irritation and hurt.
“Not Chrissssss.” A voice sang and I laughed seeing it was Devante. I hugged him tight but immediately regretted it in pain.
“Are you ok?” He questioned.in concern.
“I got hurt…..by someone. Don’t tell Chris.” I pleaded with a pout in my face.
“Oh so Chris doesn’t know his girlfriend got beat up? Oh hell no! After I beat up whoever did this, I’m going after Chris next!”
I laughed grabbing his arm. “Dev, chill. He got enough to worry about. So what’s up, D?”
He flashed a paper in my face showing he got a B on the last Trigonometry test.
“I’m so happy for you! Congratulations!”
“Thanks to you.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. I was stunned but brushed it off.
“Tell somebody about this beating, Kae. Or I will.” Devante declared in all seriousness. I sighed deciding he was right.
Time to give up the charade.
My fingers brushed over the cool metal as my forehead produced sweat. I’m tired of living in fear. I’m tired of letting that bastard have control over me. If he wants to play games-
I cocked the .9 milimeter pistol with a smirk on my face.
I called Daniel telling him that I gave up and was willing to give him what he wanted for all these years. I’m gonna give him what he wanted alright. A rough knock was heard on my front door. I placed the safety on the gun and placed it in the waist band of my underwear. I was wearing baggy navy blue sweats to hide the outline of the gun. He’s gonna learn that I’m not weak little Sochitta anymore.
That bitch died.
I opened the door for Daniel who walked in with a smirk on his face. I took a deep breath closing the door. Once I turned around, I was tackled to the ground.
“What are you doing?” I grunted struggling from under him.
“Oh nothing. I just like it rough.” He sneered and I heard the door open from behind us.
“Honey?! Oh my God!”
“Karrueche, what are you doing here?!” I yelled.
“Finally down for that threesome, huh?” David grabbed my arm pulling up and grabbed Kae’s also.
“Let us go, you piece of shit!” Kae bit his shoulder hard causing him to throw her off him.
“Hmm I like biting too, baby.” He approached Kae.
“No, Daniel. It’s me that you want! Not her!” I panted getting in front of him.
“Maybe I want both.” Daniel slammed both of us to the ground. I couldn’t reach my pistol so we were screwed. I began to cry when I felt Daniel’s weight get knocked off of me. I sat up slowly to see Ty pounding him. Daniel was putting up a good fight, hitting Ty in various places. Ty was able to throw him on the floor and I screamed.
He turned around in fury but his face softened seeing me. He ran over and hugged me tight.
“It’s ok, Honey.”
I sobbed loudly. “Just hold me, Ty.”
We heard loud noises and grunts and looked over to see Kae on Daniel’s back punching him until he grabbed her waist holding her tight in front of him.
“Kae!” Ty yelled going over there but Daniel kicked him away causing him to fall next to me.
“Ty!” I looked above. “Kae!”
“Let me go, Dipshit!”
“No, Sweetheart!” Daniel cackled biting on her neck as she screamed in pain and horror. Tears sprang out of her eyes. That’s it. I pulled the gun out removing safety and aiming straight ahead.
“Let her go or I’ll shoot.” I sniffled as tears continued to release from my eyes. Daniel was shell shocked and dropped Kae roughly on the ground. I glanced over at Ty who was moaning in pain.
“Honey, put the gun down!” He moaned.
“No!” I screamed still staring at Daniel who had his hands up in defense.
“Chitty, put the gun down. You don’t want to shoot me.” Daniel stepped closer but I cocked the gun.
“Yes I do because I hate you so fucking much!” I yelled as he dropped to his knees.
Kae coughed holding her stomach. “Honey, please, you don’t want to kill him.”
“No you don’t. Yes, he deserves to rot in hell but don’t be the person to send him there. Honey, this isn’t you.”
“What was me, Karrueche?! A weak bitch who let her cousin molest her and she hid in fear! That Honey is dead and this Honey is going to kill this fucker!” I exclaimed as my finger went over the trigger. Gun aimed at his pathetic forehead. The door burst open but I didn’t look up. It was the police and they were calmly trying to tell me to put the gun down but I refused.
“It took you guys long enough.” Kae rolled her eyes at them but then turned back to me. “Honey, please, don’t take his life.”
“Baby, please, I love you and I need you. Don’t make me lose you.”
My heart dropped and I looked back at Ty.
“You love me?”
“Yeah. I love you, Sochitta Sal. Please put the gun down.”
I began to cry more. “I love you too, Michael Stevenson.” I looked back at Daniel who was sweating hard. “I hate you…..but I love him more than I hate you so I hope you rot in a jail cell. You’re a waste of my time.” I pistol whipped him and kicked him to the ground dropping the gun. As the police tended Daniel, I ran to Ty kissing his lips.
“You saved me.” I whispered as he wiped my tears.
“You saved yourself. Now we got to go to the police station.”
We both stood up with Kae right by our sides asking if we were ok. I’m ok.
Rip freddy you will be missed by so many. No one should suffer enough pain to take away their life. You were a truly dope nigga and will be missed by many. And to anyone reading this who thinks they know what happened. Stop blaming honey cocaine it wasnt her fault he died. He had internal problems. Rest in paradise freddy e