team bones

anonymous asked:

omg a modern-day youtuber au. jim vlogs, does comedy skits, and also plays scary games (which is what he's most known for). spock does makeup reviews, tutorials for (non-volatile) science experiments, and neat math games, tricks, and walk-throughs for the more difficult stuff. bones doesn't have one, but shows up in their videos anyway. they collaborate a lot together. jim's most popular video is of all three of them playing five nights at freddy's w face cam. bones fell out of his chair ;)

  • The first time Bones shows up in one of their videos, it’s mostly coincidental. Spock is in the living room because the lighting works better there. He’s just casually talking about MAC’s new mascara line when Bones just passes by behind him. He’s pulling on his leather jacket, and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. “I’m off to work,” he says, kissing Spock’s cheek, “tell Jim I said hi, okay?” “Of course,” Spock says. He doesn’t edit Bones’ brief visit out of the video, and so his first online appearance is made.
  • “Jim, I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Spock says. He’s filming Jim standing on the kitchen table – that’s something that can honestly only go wrong. The ceiling fan is spinning on full speed, and Jim looks awfully determined to do something stupid. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Jim asks, and Spock raises an eyebrow. “You could get seriously hurt,” he replied. “I’ll be fine,” Jim says. Honestly, Spock doesn’t know why Jim insists on doing stupid stunts and getting hurt doing so. Jim probably doesn’t even know, either. Jim gets enough subscribers just based on video games, but he insists on jumping off high things, or, in this case, jump headfirst into a spinning ceiling fan because he made a bet with one of his viewers. Spock also films Bones when he stitches the back of Jim’s head afterwards. “Got anything to say to the audience?” Jim asks to Bones. He looks pained, even though he’s grinning when Bones sits behind him and fixes him up. “Yeah,” Bones says, briefly glancing at Spock’s phone as he films, “don’t try this stupidity at home. Also don’t date a complete idiot.” 
  • Bones shows up in videos more often from that moment on, and people are asking for him. So he assists Spock in this video where he’s manipulating electricity, and they make a smartphone hologram together. He plays against Jim in a game called Ultimate Chicken Horse - and Jim’s views skyrocket when Bones presses a kiss to Jim’s neck to distract him from winning.
  • He’s requested to join in Spock and Jim’s videos more often, but because Bones works fulltime (and then some), and he’s tired when he comes home, he doesn’t always comply to those requests. He’s in almost all of Jim’s vlogs, though. Jim films them on the couch - Bones’ back pressed against Spock’s chest and he’s quietly napping while Spock’s working on crossword puzzles. They’re always just short, uninteresting videos, but they are somehow very popular.
  • Jim often shows up in Spock’s videos, too. They race through a maths exam, which proves that Jim is also incredibly smart - even if Spock finishes it slightly faster. Spock does a make-up tutorial and uses Jim’s face doing so. Bones is his next victim, and even Bones just sits down and lets Spock do his job.
  • Because make-up is literally Spock’s job, and he vlogs about being on a movie set because he’s doing the makeup for the stars of the movie. The vlogs are destined to Jim and Bones, mostly, because he’s on set for the full three weeks they are scheduled to shoot. Jim responds with a vlog of the two of them at home. Bones is going through medical reports, Jim is distracting him with messages from and to Spock, and he’s forcing himself in Bones’ personal space - as usual, until Bones responds to the camera and says just a quick “good luck on set, darlin’.”
  • In Spock’s absence, Bones joins Jim playing video games. Bones has agreed to join Jim for a full playthrough on this game called Outlast, though he has no knowledge of what this game is all about. Pretty much immediately after the first jump scare, however, he regrets promising to sit through the whole game. Jim is tensed while playing, he’s on edge and he’s just saying “I’m so scared,” but it has nothing on Bones. Bones’ hand is on Jim’s arm, his shoulder, the arm rest of his chair. And as soon as they have to run from the first bad guy, Bones is just yelling at Jim - not at the game. “Get in the fucking vent, Jim. The vent! Do I need to fucking spell that out for you?!” “Bones, you’re stressing me out more than the game does!” Jim counters, simultaneously annoyed and amused. The first video ends when they die a gruesome death after having been chased, and Bones just yanks his headphones off. “No. I did not sign up for this.” He says, and like that, he walks out of Jim’s room. Jim glances at the door as it slams shut, and then back in the camera. “Check in for part 2 soon,” he says with a smirk. It’s one of the most watched videos on Jim’s channel from then on, and Bones begrudgingly agrees to continue.
  • But not all is always so great, because Bones has a stressful job, and he doesn’t always understand the obsession his two boyfriends have with just uploading every moment of their lives to YouTube. The morning after Spock’s returned, Jim and Spock quietly shoot a vlog together - which mostly consists of a few kisses and soft “I’m so happy you’re back”, while Bones is still asleep. When he wakes up, though, and he sees a camera, he just groans and turns his back to them. “Bones, don’t you have anything to say about Spock’s return?” Jim asks. “Yeah,” Bones says, “but not to the fucking camera. I was working til midnight last night and I’m hungover- I don’t need everything filmed right now.”
  • It’s fine. It’s understandable. Jim and Spock leave the bedroom to instead film in the kitchen. Or, Jim films while Spock prepares breakfast for the three of them. “Bones and I are playing the Outlast DLC tonight,” Jim explains, “and the three of us are gonna do a Let’s Play of Five Nights of Freddy’s tomorrow. I don’t think we can convince Bones to do any more horror afterwards. It’s not really his thing,” Jim says, and Spock chuckles softly. “He can sleep in between us tonight,” he says with a small smile, and Jim nods. “Sounds good to me.”
  • Bones’ presence in Jim’s videos is hilarious. Because Bones is on edge all the time. He’s literally watching through his fingers, and he absolutely freaks out during the DLC. “Jim, do something!” “This is a cut scene, Bones. I literally can’t-” “Do something! I’m a doctor and that is not how you do surgery– Jim!” Now, Jim is grossed out at everything the main character has to endure, but Bones is literally either standing on his chair or standing behind it - as if that’s going to make the game more bearable. “I hate you for putting me through this,” Bones says, slouches back down in his chair eventually, and Jim laughs. “You love me,” he says, and Bones only huffs.
  • Jim admires Spock from the couch while he’s doing a live Q&A for his audience on science and math questions. And he seems to have little trouble answering every question thrown at him. Spock’s so incredibly intelligent, it almost seems a shame he’s not chasing a career in either fields instead of a makeup artist, but at the end of the day, Spock knows what he enjoys doing professionally. All the nerdy stuff’s just a hobby. Bones passes by Spock, kissing him just briefly. “See you tonight,” Bones says, and Spock nods. “Don’t be late, we’re shooting tonight.” “Yeah, yeah.” Bones says, waving Spock off before kissing Jim goodbye, too.
  • And he’s there, on time. Bones is fine until all three of them sit in that dark room and Jim holds the controller while the other two sit with him. Spock doesn’t seem too affected by horror games. Honestly, the way Bones gets startled every time one of those animatronics jumps out at them scares Spock more than the actual game. And Jim is really trying to win, because he’s not into losing and because he wants to make it through all the nights to see what happens at the end. But his own attention span gets in the way of concentrating on the game, and so he keeps losing and Bones keeps jumping. Eventually, he jumps far and hard enough to topple backwards with his chair. “I’m so done with this shit,” Bones says, getting up from the ground with Spock’s help, “my heart literally hurts, I can’t do this. I hate both of you.” He snarls at them before leaving the room. Spock turns to Jim worriedly. “Do you think we broke him?” “Nah,” Jim says, leaning back in his chair, “he’ll suffer through Outlast 2 with us when it’s released, because he loves us. Plus, we’ll make it up to him tonight.” He finishes, shooting the camera just a short, meaningful smirk, before stopping the recording.
youtube

The Last Guardian | Bone Zone

Sulu: *after breaking Jim out the team speeds away from Krall who starts firing* He’s actually shooting at us!
Jim: *Pokes his head out of the escape vehicle wearing 3D glasses* You should see these bullets in 3D!
Sulu: Captain, get in here!
Jim: It’s like we’re actually being shot at!
Bones: We are getting shot at you crazy ass fool!

You still gonna have them on lock when you’re 52? Happy birthday, Steve! Thanks for bringing us along for the ride all these years. ❤️ you & all you do for skateboarding. (Back the #GOAT with a pair of new Half Cab Pros. Find all the new holiday colors at vans.com/proclassics. Use our retailer locator at the top of the page to find a skateshop near you. Link in our profile.).

🎥: Markus Olberz

anonymous asked:

mcspirk in the time while the uss enterprise is rebuild and they do lots of stuff together like visiting museums, sightseeing or long movie nights?

  • All three of them want to do different things. They have plenty of time to do literally everything they want to do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t bicker about who gets to drag the others out first. “Let’s go to the tallest skyscraper and jump out,” Jim says. “Why would we ever want to do that?” Bones counters. “The gravity will just make us float to the next building, it’ll be fun.” Jim says, and he’s mostly joking, of course. Bones rubs his temples nonetheless. “You have learned absolutely nothing from the times you’ve almost died.” He says, and Jim laughs. He throws his arms around Bones’ shoulders, hands sliding up over his neck to Bones’ face and he pulls him in for a kiss. “The tallest skyscraper’s supposed to have a restaurant and a casino. It’ll be fun,” Jim says. "Casino sounds okay,“ Bones agrees, “but the more you say ‘it’ll be fun’ the less I believe it will be.” "Actually, I would like to suggest an alternative use of our afternoon,” Spock says, and Bones watches him walk out of the bathroom. Shirtless, towel around his waist, and right there and then - Bones doesn’t really care what it is Spock wants, he just agrees to it before Jim has a chance to convince him otherwise.
  • He regrets that decision almost immediately afterwards, because Spock has found the most boring museum in the entire station. Nothing wrong with a bit of history, but Bones is bored after the first movie of how York Town came to be. Jim’s following Spock, mostly playing games on his PADD. Clearly bored out of his mind after having read most things once briefly. Spock takes two hours to read every detail, watch every screen, and look at every nook and every corner.
  • Mostly, though, they’re actually just working. Even though they’re not out on their new year-long mission just yet, they’re kept busy by the Federation. Jim spends a lot of time with high admirals, going through his older logs, writing reports and analyzing potential threats for York Town and the federation as a whole. It’s a good way for Jim to really find out what his admiral’s job would have been like, and he’s happy he has turned it down to stay with his crew. By the end of the day Jim slumps down on the couch and spends time with his boyfriends until the artificial sunrise makes them go through the same routine all over again.
  • Spock joins a research team based here. He’s just collecting, sampling, and analyzing materials they receive and he finds it fascinating. He even joins on a full week expedition to a nearby planet to research fossils found there. When he’s not doing that, the Federation keeps him busy in a similar fashion to Jim.
  • Bones teaches. He’s some honorary guest lecturer who scares the crap out of the medical students because of his angry and intimidating demeanor. Bones is also in charge of updating all of the crew’s medical records and making sure all medical supplies are ordered, stocked, and ready for departure.
  • The next time they have a day off together, Jim is in charge and it’s a wild ride. They visit an old arcade and Jim kicks their asses on all shooting games, but Bones is surprisingly skillful on those old fashioned arcades. Jim shouldn’t be surprised. He watches Bones stand behind Spock, one arm around Spock’s waist and the other hand holding Spock’s, and he’s showing him the ropes with these games in the cheesiest way possible. Jim loves seeing Spock and Bones bicker and flirt - and this is a sight he does not mind at all. After the arcade, Jim first takes them out to a delicious fast food diner, and he’s made sure there’s a vegan option for Spock available before taking them there. Then, they go up to the roof of the tallest skyscraper and spend most of the night and a lot of their salary in the casino. All of them lose most games, but Jim considers his night a big win when Bones gets in a fight with some guy who’s supposedly cheating. They get kicked out after Spock joins in to defend him, and then Jim does, too.
  • Jim expects Bones to take them to the medical museum - or whatever. He has mentioned it a couple of times but Jim’s always groaned at the suggestion. Now that it’s Bones’ time to take them out, though, he fully expects that to happen. Instead, Bones takes them to a small space museum that fascinates both Spock and Jim alike. There’s a newly opened exhibit on the USS Franklin, the Battle for York Town, and the Enterprise crew. “Look at that, my outfit’s here,” Jim says, pointing at the blue survival suits. “I can’t believe I have my own section in a museum,” Jim adds, just looking curiously (and somewhat smugly) at his own hologram. “Yeah, the hero of York Town. Not like we helped in any way, or saved your life multiple times doing so.” Bones points out with a grin, and Jim smiles. “Green’s not a good color on you, babe.” “I’m not jealous, I’m just saying.” Bones replies, and Jim kisses his cheek. “What’s next, medical museum?”
  • It’s not. Bones takes them to a cozy restaurant, and then to Jim’s favorite bar. They spend most of the night just talking, laughing, and being in each other’s company. And rather than taking a teleporter back to their quarters, Spock suggests a walk back. They watch the artificial skies turn from their blues into a darkness that allows the stars around them to be visible. “Why didn’t you choose the medical museum and take us to watch the old fashioned movies you enjoy so much?” Spock asks curiously. “Yeah, the ones who are so old most of our TVs can’t even play them anymore,” Jim agrees with a grin. Bones shrugs. “I didn’t really care about the things we did, I just wanted to do something. So I looked up things you’d both enjoy.”  
  • They catch up on movies most nights, and Jim mostly falls asleep in between the two of them when he does. He never really remembers making it back to bed but he’s always there in the morning when they leave for work. And most of the time during breakfast Spock just informs him on what happened in the movie after he nodded off. Bones isn’t so much a morning person and he’s not often there to join them in for breakfast. Spock has to lure him in with coffee after he’s finished with his own breakfast, but after Bones has woken up mentally too, they spend a quiet 20 minutes just getting ready to leave. It’s so mundane, but it’s also the nicest thing in the world.
  • And by the time the Enterprise is ready, the three of them feel so rested. Despite the work hours put in by the federation, and despite some sleepless nights where they watch Bones’ favorite movies, or go to a bar Jim wanted to go to, or that one night they get locked into a museum because Spock kept them on the upper floor too long with his reading habits. They are rested, and they’re ready for the journey ahead of them. Jim sits down in the captain’s chair and Spock takes his position at his station. Bones stands just next to Jim’s chair, as always, and Jim smiles widely. “Ready?” Bones asks, and Jim nods. “With you guys, always.”
Got a bone to pick with the Bard

Context: Our first session had a Chaotic Neutral Bard that has stolen the sacred relic bones and is trying to hide it from the Lawful Good Dragonborn Paladin. This is the result of when said Paladin found the bones in a comical sitting up position with the Bard.

Paladin: Can I rip off this arm?

DM: Aren’t you supposed to be Lawful Good?!

Paladin: Okay I’ll just burn him instead.