hi,i guess this isnt really the right place for me to ask for advice but i just want to rant a little bit. im a 16 yr old girl and everyone around me is in a relationship and im the only person without any experience. i just feel so lonely and i wish i was one of the girls that could make any guy fall in love w her but im not. i think im never gonna find someone who likes me and it makes me feel worthless. i know im young and stuff but its just hard when everyone around you is with someone.. xx
Hi there, funny that you say this isn’t the right place to ask for advice on this because I’m not sure you’ll find any profession with more experience helping teens with relationship advice than teachers. By sheer numbers, we probably even beat out counselors. We are in the unique position of very often being the closest advice-worthy-adult in striking distance when any number of students need it, so advice-giver is a firm part of the job on every subject imaginable. :)
I can tell you that, yes, you are young which you obviously know, and I can tell you that it will come in time, which you probably know if you’re honest, but it doesn’t help the wait, and I can tell you that good things are worth waiting for and find a gif of an inspiring sunset or something, but none of that helps when you’re the one sitting, doing the waiting, while it feels like everyone else is passing you by. Loneliness is difficult and painful, no matter how temporary, so I’m sorry you’re going through this.
So instead, I’ll tell you this- the type of person you are looking for may not even be in your orbit right now which is why you’re alone. Not because you are worthless, but because you simply don’t have any realistically good choices for you yet. High school is this weird microcosm of bell to seat to bell where you have very little control over who you spend your days with, so when you graduate and move on into a job or to college, know that simply being able to control more of who you interact with each day will considerably change your odds of finding someone compatible. Once you have experience, as you say, when it happened doesn’t matter any more. Meaning that it feels like a big impending thing before all of that happens, and then once all the first times are over, it’s nothing at all. So it will be resolved in the near-ish future whether that’s six months or several more years, and the “when” of it really won’t matter past that day. Promise. When I started college, I had my roommate and the two suite mates next door, and between the four of us, we spanned from very experienced to never been kissed. Lack of experience is common at your age and well beyond. So you’re normal, and being concerned about it is normal, and it will happen, and it is worth the wait, and you’re worth the wait, and insert sunset here. Huge hugs for now, and best to you. <3