teacher of the dark arts

who actually qualifies as the worst defense against the dark arts teacher harry potter ever had? because we have:

quirrell - probably an average teacher, was also literally voldemort
lockhart - taught them nothing but more for vanity reasons than anything?
lupin - obviously the best, no contest
moody - literally a death eater who used people’s fears against them and once turned a kid into a ferret but i mean nobody complained so?
umbridge - taught them nothing but for evil reasons, torture and abuse
snape - i mean i’m not even digging into that minefield of moral complexities; he wasn’t the best teacher generally but also that was more cos he treated 90% of students like shit rather than not teaching them so idk

Have you ever really noticed Snapes face when he got his dream job as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher? Not like somebody which dream has come true at last…He exactly knows why he got it and that there is barely a year left for him as teacher in a normal life….He knows what horrible task is waiting for him. He knows, his own time is running out….

pefectly made by Alan Rickman

Harry enjoyed his job as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; it paid well enough, he was supplied with room and board, and the students were all lovely. Well, except for one.

Tom Riddle, while not a necessarily a bad or disruptive student (quite the opposite, actually), unnerved Harry. It could be how his eyes took on an almost predatory look as they followed Harry around the room, it could have been the amount of time the teen had “accidentally” walked in on him in while he was changing, it could have been how he would lock eyes with Harry during dinner and eat an entire banana in one bite much to the amusement of his housemates.

It could also be because he was standing before Harry with his shirt unbuttoned and his pants dipping low on his hips, a dangerous smirk in place on his lips.

“What do you think would happen if I screamed?” Riddle asked conversationally, inspecting his nails like being in such a state of undress was normal.

“What?” Harry asked dumbly, hoping he had heard his student wrong.

“What. Do you think. Would happen. If. I. Screamed.” Riddle asked again, leaning against the desk behind him and resting his hands it, spreading his legs wider and putting himself in a rather provocative position. “I mean, wouldn’t this just look so bad for you? An empty classroom, a half dressed student…do you think they would give you a trial or would you be carted off to Azkaban immediately?”

“You wouldn’t.” Harry said, his heart rate speeding up when Riddle tilted his head, his eye widening in mock innocence.

“Would I?”

The devil taken the form of a fourteen year old and has come to make my life hell, Harry thought hysterically as he stared disbelievingly at Riddle, receiving a sweet looking smile in return. Harry was aware of how bad this looked if someone were to walk in and see the underage wizard in such a state; he knew no amount of pleading and “this isn’t what it looks like” would save him.

“What do you want?” He finally asked, sighing in defeat. “A higher grade? You already have all O’s and I can’t really control what other professors give you.”

“A date.” Riddle said, looking exceedingly pleased with himself as he straightened up, hands coming to button up his shirt. “This weekend at Hogshead, say at about seven? Most of the other students would be returning to the castle by then. I’ll meet you there; wear that nice set of burgundy robes in the back of the closet, it would make your eyes pop.”

When he finished his last button, Riddle picked up his school bag and spun on his heels to leave, leaving Harry feeling vaguely uncomfortable about what had just transpired and the fact that Riddle knew what was in his closet.


Yuri won

So, a little (or rather big) update on the HP / Auror!Yuri AU my friend @sherise-cosplay and I created!

Viktor is a Slytherin and was always at the top of his class at Hogwarts. He had incredible mastery over spells and pretty much defeated everyone in duelling. His high marks could have gotten him many many things, including the opportunity to become an Auror, but instead he chose to become a teacher at Hogwarts to share his knowledge and teach students Dark Arts so that they’ll one day be as great as him

So, there ya have it. Viktor is the teacher Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. His outfit is designed by my friend and we agreed that he always has to be Extra™  and wear fancy ass outfits even though he just teaches a class (kinda like Gilderoy).

Now he and Yuri work different jobs at completely different places and because Viktor could not sleep without his Yuri (So Dramatic), Yuri actually spends his nights in Viktor’s room there. Hogwarts pretty much is a second home to Yuri anyway, and he is also one of the main Aurors that gets summoned there when something is off.

What you see here: Viktor likes duelling in his DADA class and he likes to show off (also showing off his husband, because he loves him so much and everyone should know!!!!!), so he often invites Yuri to his lessons where they show the students examples of duelling. At this point though, Yuri is so trained for battle that he can take Viktor on. And of course, Viktor is still as talented as ever, so they always fluctuate with their wins. Some times Viktor wins, and some times Yuri does.

So, there you have a small expansion of the AU. There’s so many more ideas that I want to draw, so those will come up too, sooner or later ~

(also, I headcanon Yuri as a Hufflepuff, SO SUCK IT, THE HUFFLE SCARF STAYS)

remus lupin’s plan was to become defence against the dark arts teacher and transform in the spooky old ghost house every month

that is, until harry, ron, hermione and sirius came and blew his cover, letting everyone know what he’d been up to behind the scenes

one could say that he would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids and their pesky dog

level68alphadweebmister  asked:

When the 2ps were young what did they want to be when they grew up?

2P!America: bartender (Allen no)

2P!China: basically anything his parents didn’t want him to be

2P!England: professional gardener

2P!France: never had an answer

2P!Russia: pilot

2P!Italy: CEO of a worldwide business

2P!Germany: firefighter

2P!Japan: accountant

2P!Canada: woodshop professor

2P!Romano: clothing designer

2P!Austria: “defence against the dark arts teacher”

2P!Prussia: owner of an animal shelter