teacher living

advice for college freshmen:

tolkien your essays; hemingway your emails

essays are tangents and rabbit holes and diversions, woven together with lots of unnecessary descriptive words to demonstrate a proficient understanding of a subject you were meant to research in more depth but did not, in place of other pursuits, or could not, because you chose your subject poorly, and so now you must flesh out an arduous ten-page research paper and convince your scrutinizing instructor that you are well-versed in the topic at hand.

emails are blunt. say what you mean. be specific. end it quickly.

8

do you know that (7/8) : jungkook edition

At this point I am just impressed. and those freaking #’s took me wayyyy to long.

James Potter:
- Was a bully
- Jinxed people when he was bored and laughed at it
- Was totally okay with Remus being a werewolf
- Became an unregistered animagus so that his werewolf friend wouldn’t have to suffer through the full moon alone
- Realized within a few years what a douche he was to people
- Changed for the better
- Loved his wife and his son with all his heart and wanted only what was best for them
- Joined the Order of the Phoenix as soon as he left Hogwarts
- Faced Lord Voldemort without a wand, in hope of buying Lily and Harry time, knowing that he stood no chance of surviving

Severus Snape:
- Thought muggle-borns were inferior
- Called his only friend “mudblood”
- Became a Death Eater
- Told Voldemort about the prophecy, bc he was 100% okay with killing an infant
- When he got to know that it was Lily’s son, he asked Voldemort to spare HER, not caring how she would feel to have her son and husband killed
- Bullied Harry simply because he was James’ son
- Bullied Neville until he became the poor boy’s WORST FEAR (that same poor boy who witnessed his parents get tortured to insanity by Bellatrix, yet SNAPE was his worst fear.)
- Shamed Hermione for her teeth until she cried. And then she permanently changed them.
- Threatened to kill Trevor when Neville failed to do a potion
- Used his position of power as a teacher to make students’ lives miserable
- Told everyone Lupin was a werewolf, and intended to get him fired - Knew that Sirius didn’t tell Voldemort the Potters’ location (I could explain how but I can’t bother now) but still wanted him to get a dementor’s kiss bc of what happened when they were 16 - Helped Harry in the end

But sure, go ahead and tell me Snape was a better person than James.

Anonymous said to buckykingofmemes: Ok but talking about salsa and swing I gotta ask if Steve’s done any dance sketches, it is in my contract as a social dance nerd

steve actually has a ton of dance sketches. he used to come with me when i wanted to go dancing and use it as life drawing practice. said it helped him get the unusual poses better. 

anyway, this sketch  is a really old one, from back before the war. that lovely lady im dancing with is my baby sister becca. becca and i used to do swing competitions together, and we were an unstoppable team, since we’d been dancing together since before she could walk. we danced with other people a lot, but when it came to competitions becca and i were pure magic. i was a pretty big guy and she was always tiny, so i could whip her through steps and lifts like lightning. and she always trusted me to catch her, since id been tossing her in the air for as long as she could remember, and never once let her drop. the two of us would invent lifts nobody else in brooklyn would dare to try. 

sometimes we roped stevie into helping, because he wasnt much bigger than becca, and we didnt have mirrors to practice with. so if we wanted to see how a move looked, we’d teach stevie becca’s lift and she’d watch and figure out what needed changing. steve had no rhythm at all, but he was usually game for the lifts. later, in the star spangled show, they tried to make use of some of those, but he still didnt have the steps down, so it never worked out.

after i got drafted, becca kept dancing. by the time she was thirty, she held the title of brooklyns longest-running swing queen, with fifteen consecutive wins. 

V3 spoiler art

i’m too lazy put a read more so just press J to skip if you’re on pc (or just close your eyes and scroll if you’re on mobile lmao)




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Those who tried to stop the killing game

10

The Art of Fred Guillaud

Fred Guillaud (b.1973, France) is a photographer, architect and teacher living in Barcelona, Spain since 2000. His urban landscapes shot exclusively on film are admired for their atmospheric banality and visual appeal.

Follow the Source Link for more information.

youtube

i can’t believe Angela Merkel murdered a man live on camera

2

there’s a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven’t thought of it yet // panic! at the disco

okay so anyways, story time: 

this one time my two friends and i had an english assignment to write an essay about the tragic elements of julius caesar. boring, anyway, yeah, we finish our essays and we’re all hanging out the night before it’s due, and we remember that our teacher actually lives really close to my house??? like a minute walk tops. and one of my friends mentions this girl who used to hand in her assignments in envelopes with a wax seal and left them on the doorstep of her teacher. so in our tired, carbohydrate-addled brains we’re like “that’s a FUCKIGN good idea shit man we have got to fucknig do thta RIGHT NOW”. 

so we dig around my jewelry box and find this UGLY ASS owl ring that i had stashed away somewhere and we’re like aw this is fuckin PERFECT. so we print our essays (yes all three, there were t h r e e of us who thought this was a good idea) and tuck them into this official looking manila envelope. we find this red candle and melt it down, right?? problem is, these wax seals that they used to use in medieval times and game of thrones episodes have SPECIAL fuckin wax that is made for that shit. we did not know that…at the time…ok, so we melt this wax and we pour it very carefully on the envelope, but because the envelope is flat on the ground it just runs halfway down the thing, just goes fuckign EVERYWHERE. we don’t give a SHIT, and we press that ugly fuckin owl ring in there. then, one of my friends is like “wow i’m gonna put my finger print in the wax” and then we fucking ALL do it, as if it’s not at all creepy to put your fingerprints in a wax seal that’s supposed to go to your teacher?? we write his last name on the envelope and take it w us, right, okay. 

so at ELEVEN AT NIGHT, we walk over to my teacher’s house and the lights are all off and then we realize that this….,.,.is fuckin WEIRD AND CREEPY. yes. only THEN did we realize this. so we end up fuckin around in his driveway for a full five minutes contemplating who is ballsy enough to run up to his doorstep and drop off the envelope cause we weren’t sure if he had a motion activated light or not. then my friend GRABS that envelope and just rips to the door, drops it on the mat, runs back to us, says “go gogogogogogooggo fuckfyck” and we start RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD BACK TO MY HOUSE. 

when we get there we realize how fuckin creepy it was, and we start freaking out. like we actually think we could be expelled for this odd shit (we were really tired and freaked out ok shut up) and so we try our best to forget about it and go to sleep. when we wake up, my friend has a text from her mother and it’s just a picture of a text she got from the teacher we submitted our essays to. so we start freaking out until we realize he’s written, “someone’s submitted their essay like a ninja in the night and i think it was your daughter and her two friends.” 

so yeah anyway this is the story of how my teacher is the fcukgin coolest for not expelling me for putting a weird sketchy package on his doorstep nice

Alternate Universe

Enjolras should have realized that the kids would try to figure it out. Turns out high school students have nothing better to do than investigate their teachers love lives.

It started with a few lovesick students who thought that they might have a chance with the scarily-hot political science teacher before their friends crushed their dreams by pointing out that Enjolras was both out of their league and probably taken.

From then on, it became his students’ mission to find out if Enjolras was dating anyone. It hadn’t taken Enjolras long to realize that his students were weird, but this was reaching a whole new level.

Someone overheard (eavesdropped on) Enjolras talking on the phone before school and heard him sign off with “I love you,” which was damning enough to launch an investigation into WHO it was that Enjolras loved.

Mr. Combeferre frowned and shook his head when the kids questioned him. “I’m not going to spill my friend’s secrets. Now run along,” he had said, but one of the kids noticed the edge of a smile on his lips.

Mr. Courfeyrac just laughed when he was asked. “You know who you should ask about this? R. You should ask Grantaire about this.”

Most of the other teachers seemed to agree. There was nothing left to do but go to Enjolras’s sworn enemy.

The art teacher nearly fell out of his chair when his students asked him who Enjolras was dating. “That’s a fantastic question. Who could that ice-cold, pretentious asshole possibly date?”

“Probably someone as beautiful and emotionally cut-off as he is,” one of the kids said wistfully.

“Mmhmm”

“She probably killed her pet goat when she was seven for sustenance and didn’t shed a tear.”

“That’s honestly the only logical possibility,” Grantaire agreed.

The rest of Grantaire’s class for the day turned into character design of Enjolras’s alleged lover. After that, most of the kids resigned themselves to never solving the mystery.

After school, Grantaire went to Enjolras’s classroom. “Were you aware that your wife killed her family pet as a child so that she wouldn’t starve to death?”

“Oh really?” Enjolras said. “I was told that she was a Russian spy.”

Grantaire wrapped his arms around Enjolras’s waist. “Maybe she’s both,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Enjolras’s lips.

They didn’t notice the student standing at the door. The school went wild.