“I can’t do this right now, my mind won’t stop racing…..” Louise moved to the window to distract herself. Meditation was never “her thing”, but wanted to try it to at least see if she could quieten her mind…or was it her heart?. “I can’t just turn myself off….I’m..I’m….not you….”
“Teach me not to feel, Sybok. I want to be like you….nothing bothers you, you don’t get swamped by your feelings. It must be easy being Vulcan. Easier than being human that’s for sure…..”
“Before the Teachings of Surak our feelings ruled our lives and caused great conflict and many deaths.
We learnt to control our emotions so they did not control us. That does not mean we do not feel Louise….a common misconception of my people unfortunately. This is why I asked you to join me today,
pacification of emotion through meditation.
At no time should one try to suppress or hide an emotion. Our teaching is to come to terms with what you are feeling and thus to overcome it.”
“Well it isn’t working.” she huffily replied and sat back down in front of him.
“The method is not an instant solution to all emotional problems. It will take time, it will not be easy and often one will fail, but it is a tool. Do you wish to discuss your thoughts. I find humans have a preference for “talking it out”.”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry, you went to so much effort for me today and I kinda feel bad about it now, ungrateful even.”
“There is no offense where none is taken. I have noticed your conflict of late and the last two assignments we have worked on you have been distracted. However, I will not pry further, if you need to discuss whatever is troubling you…..I am here to listen.”
“I didn’t know you cared.”
“Of course I care Louise. Over the last 5 months we have spent a great deal of time together. Though our relationship is on a professional level for the most part, I do find your company agreeable.”
“You said I use to many superfluous words and have a predisposition to ramble!!”
“You do, but I never said I did not enjoy it, or you.” Sybok smiled slightly at his admission and at Lou’s reaction to it. “If you could see the expression on your face at this present moment, it is what I would describe as “aghast with confusion”. He positioned himself back on his stool and closed his eyes. Louise followed suit, but naturally, kept on rambling.
“You should do that more often.”
“Smile, I like your smile, it’s a good smile, for a Vulcan.”
“Vulcans do not smile.” he replied coolly.
“You do, not always, but you do smile. Countless times. I’ve seen it”
“Then I must only do it when I am with you Louise.”