coffee anon coming in - anyone for a nice cup of tea?
shu: IT WILL NOT WORK. YOU CAN SHOVE AS MUCH CAFFIENE INTO THIS MAN AS YOU WANT, BUT HE REFUSES. if anything, shu is so petty that he’ll refuse to move if you use tea just to spite reiji. it works. quite well. reiji’s tea tasted a little more salty that day.
reiji: *inhales* BOI. the tea whisperer. he speaks to the leaves. he can tell what the plant was thinking as its leaves were plucked just by the texture. he lives for finding the holy grail of the tea. he will ascend the caffiene throne…ruki has had it for long enough.
ayato: you’re kidding, right? tea is too refined for ayato. that’s for the tableware otaku to deal with. IT’S LEAF WATER. ayato is a classy boy…he says as he stacks his 275th can of red bull onto laito’s passed out body. what? COFFEE was banned, but not red bull. the apocalypse is coming.
kanato: oh lord, he is so high maintenance with his ideal tea that it’s pointless to try making it to start. including anything less than 15 sugar lumps and not using the designated teddy shaped mug is seen as an act of attempted poisoning and you’d better hope that your skin is ready for the scalding drink about to be dumped on your head!
laito: since he found out that ginseng tea can aid libido on wikipedia, laito hasn’t stopped drinking it, despite it only being 3 hours since reading it. he should’ve read down to where it mentions the adverse effects of gross ginseng overdose. passing out on the floor from too much ginseng leaves him vulnerable to ayato’s impending red bull destruction. rip sakamaki laito.
subaru: will drink the most bitter, disgusting tea in public and claim it fuels the darkness raging inside him and his hatred for this futile world, as linkin park plays in the distance. actually enjoys a cup of chamomile tea before bed to settle his tummytums.
ruki: he is trying. goddamn he is trying his best. but since the mukami family intervention where they destroyed his coffee stash and took him to court to get restraining orders for every starbucks globally, he cannot function. azusa found him lying on the kitchen floor once, covered in teabags. crying. azusa poured more teabags on him because he thought it would help. it didn’t.
kou: as an idol, he’s promoted drinks brands before, including tea. they keep sending him free samples as gifts. there’s no more room for them. kou opens his sock drawer and tea samples just swamp his ankles. his room smells like a tea shop. help him.
yuma: THIS IS WORSE THAN KOU IN STARBUCKS. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING FLOWERS IN THE TEA. YOU ANIMAL. IS THIS WHERE ALL MY FLOWERS HAVE BEEN GOING. THIS IS BLASPHEMY. HEATHEN. AAAAAAAAAA.
asuza: arrives in the kitchen water: boiling death sauce-laced tea: prepared dick: out asuza is forcibly removed from the kitchen