For the DVD commentary, TDS chapter 24
“You seem different,” she said, tracing her thumb across each of his eyebrows. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course,” he said, soft.
“In the carriage, on the way home,” she said, looking down, “last night. You were out of it. You said some things.”
He reached up, lifted her chin to find her eyes again. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said.
“Talk to me, vhenan.”
“I just—I get worried sometimes, Solas.”
“I want you to trust me.”
This was an arrow. It struck him, hard. “Of course I trust you,“ he said.
“I won’t push you, Solas.” She was fighting him with her chin. She wanted to look down. He had to let her. “That’s not who I am, but sometimes, the things you say—it’s like you’re asking me. To push you. So that you can push me away.”
“Is that what it feels like?” he said. “Is that what you think I’m trying to do?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, putting her face into his chest. “I’m doing it wrong.”
“No, you’re not,” he said. “Sit up, please. Isene, look at me.”
She listened, sat up. He held her by her wrists. She was watching him now, searching out the insecurities. Where did they live? What were their shapes and noises? She’d sensed them, but she couldn’t see them, couldn’t get her hands on them. So elusive. His eyes were glass now. Shimmer, wet. She’d hurt him, or scared him. She pressed her palm to his cheek, then down to his neck and shook her head. “Just tell me what’s going on,” she said.
“I will,” he said. She could feel his pulse, fast, hard beneath her hand. He seemed to be choking on the words. He sat up, quickly from beneath her, gathered her hands into his, pressed them to his mouth. He looked her in the eye. “I will.”
She almost wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t. It was morning, and she was thirsty, and she hated crying anyway, and there he was, breaking beneath her, so devastatingly loyal. She could see it, in his eyes. She knew it already, but still, it made her weak that morning. It also made her needful.
Sene’s heart, a bright, hot coin with both sides the same.
“Okay,” she said.
He let go his breath. She didn’t realize he’d been holding it. He smiled, still somehow terrified, but relieved. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. The touch, like a renewal between them. A reminder, hot skin. Breath shaking. She held the back of his neck. Something changed.
“I trust you, Sene,” he said. “I trust you. You must know this. After everything. Lanas em dir’vhen’an. Sathan, Isene.”
She shifted, fitting to him, warm and growing hard against her from beneath the sheet. His mouth on her neck now. Helpless to her. “Dhruan in’na, Solas,” she said to him. “You’re a good man.”
I hope I’m sending this in the right place… the character limit on the ask function is too short.
Hey! Yes. Thank you, @noraspancakes!! Sorry it took me so long to get to this!! Like last time, I’ll stick this under a cut and tag a couple people who may be interested. This contains some mild TDS spoilers, nothing past Chapter 40. Also if anyone else wants me to tag them in stuff like this please just let me know!!
This is a moment that I haven’t really thought about in a long time, but it’s really important to Sene and Solas and their development as a couple, so I’m glad you brought it up!! I’ve recently gone back through TDS to separate it into natural, shorter, single-book-length sections, and this chapter, The Way Out, is actually the first chapter in the second book, Fall. This comes right after Solas’s near breakthrough in the carriage on the way home from the party in Val Royeaux, when he’s a little drunk and on the verge of his first of two serious mental breaks. Sensing his own pending epiphany, he goes to visit Thom Rainier in jail for advice–Thom becomes Solas’s central guide figure then for the majority of TDS. This is the next morning and what I sort of count as his descent into the Belly of the Whale (per the Hero’s Journey), which he continues to toil through until just before their return to the Emprise du Lion.