The Chase: Don't Say Good Bye (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) Chapter Thirty Six
Maybe, all of the medicine has finally driven her mad. Because why else would anyone try and put a stop to the absolute best snogging session they’ve ever had? I am at a loss for words, so I just shake my head in confusion.
“We definitely can do this though.” I croak out hoarsely and then lean in for the sweet spot where her neck meets her collarbone. But before I have a chance to use my lips to persuade her, she puts a hand on my chest and stops me.
“No, we really can’t.” Her voice is a little more stern this time; so I stop to search her face up close. She looks terribly pained; her lashes flutter shut for a second and I can see she’s trying to blink back tears. Clearly, one of us enjoyed the kissing a little more than the other…
“Why not?” I whisper and then slide my thumb across her cheek gently. I should probably back off a little. But, even though her tears have definitely dampened any sort of lusty mood we had a few minutes ago; there’s still some sort of force that’s keeping me from moving too far away. I still need to touch her, to be near her for as long as she’ll let me.
At the first sign of my finger, a single tear spills from her eye and rolls down her cheek onto my thumb.
“I don’t know. This doesn’t feel right.” She says breathlessly. Her bottom lip is quivering, like she’s seconds away from bursting into full blown water works.
I am not quite sure what she means because that was easily the best feeling I’ve had in months. So, I let her go on.
“I really love you a lot.” She begins, and while I know she’s not finished I have to interrupt her for just a second to tell her that I love her too. She nods, but carries on, determined to get the words out.
“But, this isn’t going to work out; at least not right now, anyways. I love you, I really do. But, I don’t necessarily trust you any more; and I know that’s not how healthy relationships work.” I open my mouth to say something, but she puts a hand out to silence me.
“Just let me finish. I want you to understand that I value what he had, or have, so much that I don’t want to ruin it by rushing back into a messy relationship where I constantly sit and second guess every move you make. It makes me really angry with myself, for sitting around and wondering all the time what you’re doing and who you’re doing with. It’s so messed up, but I can’t get it out of my head. I think we both just need some time to grow up and I feel like, in the long run, our odds are better if we go about doing it separately.”
At the first sound of the word ‘separately,’ I can feel my heart split into uneven pieces inside my chest.
“What do you want me to do?” I say quietly as I pull away from her and clamp my hands tightly over the steering wheel. My eyes are fixed on the rain that’s falling steadily outside the window now.
“I think we should just take some time apart, until we figure everything out.” She sounds so incredibly unsure of herself, that I am beginning to grow angry. She clearly has no idea what she’s talking about, because if you love someone, how much can there possibly be to figure out?
But I don’t say that to her, because I feel like my argument is useless to someone who says she doesn’t trust me.
“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to leave you alone? Stop calling and texting and coming to see you? Because clearly this whole friendship thing was a bit of a stretch.” The words come out coarse, and uneven like sand paper. I sound as bitter as I feel. It’s easier to be angry when I’m not looking at her, so I keep my eyes glued in front of me.
There’s a long pause; so long, in fact, that she never actually verbally answers my question. But words are unnecessary at this point because everything is clearly implied in her silence.
After a few minutes of this miserable quiet; I lean forward and switch gears because we could sit here all day and stare at the rain; but the only thing that would result in, would be me missing my flight. And the last thing I want to do right now, is get stranded in America for longer than I need to be; so I guess it’s time to take her back to her car.
End of Chapter Thirty Six.
Sorry it’s a little shorter than usual! Anyways, thank you all for entering my fan fiction contest! I wrote all your names down and numbered them according to how you entered and then I used Random.Org to randomly select five names! I’ve messaged all of the people whose names were chosen, but I’m still waiting for some of them to message me back before I get the poll because I don’t know everyone’s names yet. Hahaha. Again, thanks for participating and reading! You guys are the best! (: Love you all!