The Chase: Don't Say Good Bye (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) Chapter Thirty Six

Maybe, all of the medicine has finally driven her mad. Because why else would anyone try and put a stop to the absolute best snogging session they’ve ever had? I am at a loss for words, so I just shake my head in confusion. 

“We definitely can do this though.” I croak out hoarsely and then lean in for the sweet spot where her neck meets her collarbone. But before I have a chance to use my lips to persuade her, she puts a hand on my chest and stops me. 

“No, we really can’t.” Her voice is a little more stern this time; so I stop to search her face up close. She looks terribly pained; her lashes flutter shut for a second and I can see she’s trying to blink back tears. Clearly, one of us enjoyed the kissing a little more than the other…

“Why not?” I whisper and then slide my thumb across her cheek gently. I should probably back off a little. But, even though her tears have definitely dampened any sort of lusty mood we had a few minutes ago; there’s still some sort of force that’s keeping me from moving too far away. I still need to touch her, to be near her for as long as she’ll let me.

At the first sign of my finger, a single tear spills from her eye and rolls down her cheek onto my thumb.

“I don’t know. This doesn’t feel right.” She says breathlessly. Her bottom lip is quivering, like she’s seconds away from bursting into full blown water works.

I am not quite sure what she means because that was easily the best feeling I’ve had in months. So, I let her go on.

“I really love you a lot.” She begins, and while I know she’s not finished I have to interrupt her for just a second to tell her that I love her too. She nods, but carries on, determined to get the words out.

“But, this isn’t going to work out; at least not right now, anyways. I love you, I really do. But, I don’t necessarily trust you any more; and I know that’s not how healthy relationships work.” I open my mouth to say something, but she puts a hand out to silence me.

“Just let me finish. I want you to understand that I value what he had, or have, so much that I don’t want to ruin it by rushing back into a messy relationship where I constantly sit and second guess every move you make. It makes me really angry with myself, for sitting around and wondering all the time what you’re doing and who you’re doing with. It’s so messed up, but I can’t get it out of my head. I think we both just need some time to grow up and I feel like, in the long run, our odds are better if we go about doing it separately.”

At the first sound of the word ‘separately,’ I can feel my heart split into uneven pieces inside my chest. 

“What do you want me to do?” I say quietly as I pull away from her and clamp my hands tightly over the steering wheel. My eyes are fixed on the rain that’s falling steadily outside the window now.

“I think we should just take some time apart, until we figure everything out.” She sounds so incredibly unsure of herself, that I am beginning to grow angry. She clearly has no idea what she’s talking about, because if you love someone, how much can there possibly be to figure out?

But I don’t say that to her, because I feel like my argument is useless to someone who says she doesn’t trust me.

“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to leave you alone? Stop calling and texting and coming to see you? Because clearly this whole friendship thing was a bit of a stretch.” The words come out coarse, and uneven like sand paper. I sound as bitter as I feel. It’s easier to be angry when I’m not looking at her, so I keep my eyes glued in front of me.

There’s a long pause; so long, in fact, that she never actually verbally answers my question. But words are unnecessary at this point because everything is clearly implied in her silence. 

After a few minutes of this miserable quiet; I lean forward and switch gears because we could sit here all day and stare at the rain; but the only thing that would result in, would be me missing my flight. And the last thing I want to do right now, is get stranded in America for longer than I need to be; so I guess it’s time to take her back to her car.

End of Chapter Thirty Six.

Sorry it’s a little shorter than usual! Anyways, thank you all for entering my fan fiction contest! I wrote all your names down and numbered them according to how you entered and then I used Random.Org to randomly select five names! I’ve messaged all of the people whose names were chosen, but I’m still waiting for some of them to message me back before I get the poll because I don’t know everyone’s names yet. Hahaha. Again, thanks for participating and reading! You guys are the best! (: Love you all!

The Chase: Don't Say Good Bye (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) Chapter Twenty Four

Outside Kaitlyn’s Home - Los Angeles, CA

(Amarinda’s POV)

I have no idea what is taking Kaitlyn so long, and honestly I don’t care. Since, I have taken to eating my feelings, I have become semi-dependent on junk food; and if she doesn’t come outside in the next ten minutes, I am fully prepared to begin sobbing about not getting my pizza.

I have a few other things that I would like to sob about. But, if anyone asks, this is strictly about pizza.

I can see her front door open now, and I say a small prayer of thanks as she begins down the driveway towards my car. It’s only been thirteen hours since we were last together; but I’m incredibly relieved to see her anyways.

“What took you so long?” I ask her, the annoyance unintentionally dripping from my tone as she climbs into the passenger side of my mom’s SUV.

She’s shifting awkwardly as she tries to adjust herself and I can see there’s something in her hands, which she’s trying to keep concealed from beneath her new leather Lucky Brand satchel.

She doesn’t reply to me, which is odd. “Cute bag!” I say, even though my eyes are fixed on the suspicious package that is peeking out from under it.

“Thanks! Got it on sale.” She says and shoots me an oversized smile that tells me I have good reason to be suspicious.

“What are you hiding under it?” I say slowly, and then poise myself to lean forward and grab it if she tries to make a dash. Because, I know Kaitlyn is capable of strange things sometimes.

She lets out one big breath, like she’s been mentally preparing for this all morning.

“Okay, before I tell you, I want you to know that I wasn’t really planning on doing this; but I have sort of been forced into this and I don’t know what to do, so plea-” I can tell this speech is going to take a long time, and I’m losing my patience. So, I lean forward and snatch the package from her hands before she can waste any more of the quality time I could be spending devouring pizza with her.

“Hey! Don’t do that!” She shouts, and tries to retrieve it before I can identify it. But, it’s too late.

The square white package is planted firmly between my fingers and I’ve already recognized the foreign red postage in the upper left hand corner.

This is Royal Air Mail.

Royal Air Mail is the British equivalent to the United States Postal Service. I would know, because this is the service that Harry uses to send me things.

“What the hell is this?” I say, the hair on the back of my neck is standing and I can feel my blood pressure shoot through the roof.

“Louis sent it to me, and asked me to put it in your car’s CD player when you weren’t paying attention. But, I realize that that’s kind of messed up, so I was just going to give it to you and let you do what you want with it.” She’s talking so fast that I almost can’t understand what she’s saying.

I tear through the packaging now, careful not to rip through the familiar handwriting that’s sprawled across the front; force of habit, I suppose. The contents of the package spill out on to my lap. The first thing that flutters out is a short handwritten note, which I automatically decide not to read, and push back inside the padded white envelope. The next article is a photo of Harry and I, kissing in front of Big Ben during my most recent visit to London. We’d asked some elderly tourist to take a photo of us, using Harry’s phone and at the last second Harry leaned in to kiss me for the picture. I’d begged and pleaded with him to send it to me, but he would always forget, so this is my first time actually seeing it. The image knocks the wind out of my lungs, so I shove it back inside too. Now, the only thing left in my lap is a CD case.

“Wow! This is original. He burned me a CD.” I say sarcastically, and pop it open. There’s no track list or love notes explaining each song like he usually does, and suddenly I’m a little angry. If you are going to cheat on your girlfriend and then try to win her back using a mix CD you burned off your MacBook; I hardly think this is the time to start cutting corners. But, maybe that’s just me.

“I think you should listen to it.” Kaitlyn says finally, and the way she says it makes me realize she’s scared I’ll snap at her.

But, I don’t. Because, in all honesty, I’m just a tad bit curious as to what this CD contains. So, instead of saying anything at all I lean forward and press the load disk button on the radio and wait for the light to turn green before I shove the CD into the stereo’s mouth.

The only thing I can hear is the disk drive swallowing the CD and preparing to play; and then soft guitar strumming fills the car and I immediately recognize the song.

“Ew, why would he put this on here? Is this a joke? He knows I absolutely can’t stand the sound of Jason Mraz’s voice.” I probably sound like a brat, but I am legitimately disappointed as I lean forward to shut it off. But, before my finger can find the off button, Kaitlyn swats my hand away.

I turn to look at her now, because I have no idea why she’s so desperate to keep me listening; and then suddenly the melody is met with a voice that I know all too well and my heart immediately freezes inside my chest.

When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night skies
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold

This is not Jason Mraz. This is Harry. His deep raspy voice and sultry harmonies take over the small confines of the SUV and I immediately feel tears building up behind my eyelids. This is cruel and unusual punishment; because he sounds perfect.

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

The spit is rising in my throat, but I refuse to cry, so I choke back my tears and lean forward to search desperately for the skip track button. But, the next one is worse than the last; because it’s one of my favorites, also recorded by Harry.

All of them, every track. Harry. Harry. Harry. And each one is more beautiful than the last.

“Why? Why! Why?” I hear myself begging quietly through shaky sobs as I stab the eject button and wait for the CD player to spit out the disk.

I let out a frustrated scream, as I stick the CD back in it’s case and slam it shut. I can tell Kaitlyn is frightened now. She’s just staring at me wide eyed and probably a little scared at what I am about to do next.

I take a deep breath and toss the case down by her feet. “Here, you can have it. Post it on Tumblr or something. I’m sure it’ll get a ton of likes or blogs or whatever you call them.” I say, furious, as I put the car in reverse. I have absolutely no interest in eating anymore, but I need to go somewhere.

“First of all, I don’t think you should be driving in this state of fury. It’s scary. Second of all, they’re called notes, not blogs. And finally, you wouldn’t want me to do something stupid like that. That’s so messed up! Louis says it was really hard for him to make this and he was scared out of his mind and-” But, I can’t listen to her defend him for another second, so I slam on the breaks before we’re even out of the driveway.

“You know what else is messed up? Making a girl fall madly in love with you while you are keeping the fact that you’re sleeping around with other girls from her. Please, do tell me how hard it was for him to make me a damn CD. Kaitlyn, he sings to thousands of girls live every night for a living! And he wouldn’t do it once for me in the whole year we dated. I was clearly delusional when I convinced myself that someone like Harry Styles could fall in love with someone like me. But, I didn’t know someone who acted so sweet all the time could be the world’s biggest undercover douche bag.” I’m practically fuming now. Kaitlyn probably doesn’t deserve to be screamed at, but I had to scream at someone and she conveniently placed herself in the line of fire.

Kaitlyn is just staring at me now, and then rolls her eyes a little bit, like she’s fed up with me. “I know this is hard for you. But you aren’t really being fair, either. He made a mistake; but it’s not like he even remembers it happening. It’s not like he went out looking for a girl to have sex with; it was an accident. I don’t expect you to get back together with him. But, I think you owe it to him to listen to the stupid CD he made for you. Because, at the end of the day we all know that he really does love you.” I’m not quite sure what to say, because the last thing I expected after my speech was for Kaitlyn to go on defending him. But, I don’t really need to come up with something to say anyhow, because she’s already pushed the door open and is on her way back inside the house.

I sit there in ear splitting silence, alone, as I stare at the CD that’s now lying on the floor where Kaitlyn’s feet used to be. Then the tears start again as I lean over to grab it; because I realize that maybe Kaitlyn is right. Maybe I should listen to it, just once.

End of Chapter Twenty Four.

the next chapter is my favorite chapter so far, so stay tuned. xx
i’ve posted the track list here if anyone wants to read it. most of it is actually harry covers; so it’s good for pretending! hahaha (: