Like maybe “how do build trust between you and your tc where they trust you enough with personal things ” or maybe like “how to work through your emotions while having a tc?”
I’d be up for it but I don’t know if anyone would actually care but I’d like to help people in that area and help you from what has been my perspective and if you guys want I can even ask N for some advice too?
I was scrolling through facebook last night and then CJ’s profile popped up in my friend suggestions and my heart beat so fast and the most softest smile formed on my lips and I sat there looking at this picture for almost five minutes… What does that mean?
Already There...Working Hard or Hardly Working...A Dress...
He was already there when my bus got to the high school. His truck was there, so I knew he was there and I got really happy and excited. I haven’t seen him since last Thursday and I missed the bejesus outta him. Since I knew he was already there, I hurried off my bus and down to the courtyard where Dale was standing.
He was under the tree, in our normal spot when he has morning duty. He saw me walking down the huge concrete steps and his entire face lit up. Another teacher walked up and started talking to him. His face fell and he interacted with that teacher for a moment.
I stood beside the picnic table and waited for the other teacher to leave. I noticed that Dale kept sneaking glances at me. At one point, he caught me sticking a piece of gum in my mouth and he smirked before biting his bottom lip.
I blushed and looked away. I heard him let out a deep chuckle. The other teacher thought he was chuckling at something “funny” she said. I caught Dale’s eye a moment later, and he just smirked at me again. Eventually, and thankfully, the other teacher left.
As soon as she did, Dale and I both moved closer to each other. He had the biggest, cutest, and sneakiest grin on his face. I couldn’t help but blush and giggle. He let out a quieter chuckle. I shoved my hands in the pockets of his jacket that I had on.
His grin got even cuter.
“Would you like some gum?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Nah. Thanks, though. Why would I have something extra sweet when I’ve already got you right here and you’re really sweet?"
I blushed and burrowed into his jacket. He just chuckled.
"How’s your week been so far?” He asked.
I looked up at him. He just looked so freaking happy. I gave him a smile.
“It’s been ok. I worked yesterday right after school.” I said.
He shrugged and smirked. "I think I worked yesterday. If that’s what you call it.”
I laughed. “Goofball. Sometimes getting outta bed in itself is a lot of work."
He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Mmhhmm. It is. It does help, though, when you’ve got someone to see when you wake up."
He looked straight at me and grinned. I blushed. He shifted closer to me and bumped his elbow against my shoulder.
"I’m talking about you, (his nickname for me).” He said sweetly.
I giggled and blushed even more. I pulled the collar of his jacket up over my cheeks. I felt his fingertips brush against cheek as he pushed the collar down.
“C'mon now. You ain’t gotta hide your blushing from me. You know I love it.” He murmured.
I blushed even more and glanced up at him. He had the cutest little look on his face. Neither of us said anything for a moment till he started stretching. It took everything in me not to tickle him. He had one arm curled behind his head and the other one stretched out behind me.
He let out another long yawn and slowly relaxed. He moved closer to me. We talked about a test that he has to take coming up and about the first part of that test that he took a couple weeks ago. He was really doubting himself. I bumped my shoulder against him.
He gazed down at me.
“I’ve got faith in you. I know you’re gonna do great. You said you passed the first part. I know you’ll pass the second part. Science is your thing. And, you’re you. You’re smart. You’ve got this. I know you do. I’ve got faith in you.” I said.
He smiled and his ears turned a bright pink.
“Thank you.” He murmured, quietly.
I just smiled at him. We went back to our comfortable silence. After a moment, I looked up at him.
“You missed it yesterday.” I said.
“Missed what besides you?” He asked, grinning.
“Me in a dress."
I looked up at him. His eyes darkened slightly. He sucked in a deep breath.
"Dang. I did miss that.” He muttered.
I giggled. He let out a deep chuckle.
“I was in one too.” He teased.
“Well, darn. I missed that.” I laughed.
“We both just missed each other."
"Mmhhmm. Although, I was here. You weren’t."
"I was too. I was just late.” He teased.
“Mmhhmm. We just missed each other."
He nodded. "I was really late ‘cause I took the youngins to day care. I walking up here at a quarter till. Although, I was in the parking lot at 20 till."
"Oh. I left at a quarter till. The bus left a moment later."
"Well damn. We really did just barely miss each other."
I nodded. At the moment, my bus pulled up. I heard Dale let out a deep sigh. He moved closer to me. I felt his arm brush up against me. I looked up at him and gave a small smile. Neither of us wanted me to leave.
"I should prob-.” I started.
“No.” He protested. “Not yet. Please?"
"A few more seconds. How’s that?"
He nodded. "I’ll take it for now."
We moved closer. A few seconds later, I looked up at him. He looked sad. He sighed.
"You’ll come see me tomorrow?” He asked.
I nodded. “Of course. You know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be."
He smiled. "Good point. I’d rather be with you too."
He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it up. I placed my palm against his and he did our little hand hug.
"I’ll see you tomorrow, goofball.” I said.
He grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow, (his nickname for me). Have a great day."
"You too. Please. Have a great day."
I left him and ran up the stairs. When I looked back down in the courtyard, he was looking up at me. He gave me a cute smile and a small wave. I waved back. When I got on my bus, I could still see him and he was still looking in my direction with a sad, but yet content for now look on his face.
I’ve been feeling pretty good recently, I’m not over her (not at all) but I’m just thankful to have her in my life (as a former teacher and as a friend if I’m allowed to call her like that) and I haven’t seen her in a few weeks now and I’m totally ok with that because I know we will meet up again soon and our relationship is getting more normal for me now and I’m just happy yaaas
And maybe I didn’t realize
I was in love with you before
because it is something
as natural as breathing;
you do it completely subconsciously
but once you start thinking about it,
that you’ve been doing it all along.
Falling in love with you
was like starting a TV-series
of which you know
that there will only be one season.
Watching episode after episode,
pouring your heart into the characters,
getting drawn into the story,
that it will come to an end all to soon,
perhabs even with a major cliffhanger,
without any chance of a happy ending.
// and yet, you just cannot deny that it is worth the pain j.d.m.
Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.
I love the way their eyes light up when they discuss anything remotely related to a subject they’re interested in. I love how excited I get just listening to their rants and tangents even if I have no prior knowledge or interest in the topic. I love that the sheer amount of information they know about the most obscure things (ex. French philosophy on anti-oedipus) is absolutely insane but also mesmerizing. I love that they don’t get caught up in trivial, immature situations. I love that they have so much wisdom to share from years and years of experience and they’re not embarrassed to share. I love how much they care for their students and genuinely want them to succeed and that they would do everything in their power to help me if I asked. Why do I like my tc? How could I not?
I want you to be infinite
and because of that
I’ll write down everything I know
about the way your fingers move
or how you bite your lip.
And just like the moon
who’s beauty can never be shown in a picture,
my writing will never be as complete as you are
and I could write novels about your eyes
without ever really
to the truth.