taylor-and-justin

Overdue PART 21 -Jack Gilinsky Imagine-

✨And then there were 3…💗✨


Here we are again. Sitting at the exact same table we were sitting at a year ago. Wow it has really been a year. A year since I told Madison off, Jack and I had that terrible fight on the highway, and a year since I said that I loved him. I stay awake every night wondering if I made the right decisions. If I could go back in time and change any little detail to a significant event would I do it? Although I went through a lot I came out with so much. I came out with a record deal, Grammy Award Winning Album, an upcoming headlining tour, and a boyfriend who loves me. The boys and I were coming back to where we were in that moment a year ago and that’s okay it takes time. But wow it had really been a year…

The table this time was buzzing with conversation and laughter and on the outside looking in it looked like a bunch of young adults having a good time. But this table was laced with issues. Dishonestly, love, betrayal, hurt, anger and a bunch more that I didn’t want to think about. I even sat in the same place. Next to Sam and next to Justin…

“Are we going to behave this time?” Sam whispered as I sipped my drink.

“For you.”

As the minutes went by everyone was winding down on dessert and the night had gone surprisingly well. I think it’s because Madison kept her mouth shut…. I glanced at Madison and she smiled and Jack who had his arms around her. I truly can say I’m happy for them. Even though it stung a bit, I could see the love in Jacks eyes when he talked about her. How his cheeks would blush red when she texted or called. How he protected her a year ago and how he looked now. Jack really did her love her and I finally understood what he meant by saying he didn’t love me the way he loved her. I was a sisterly love…

“Everyone I have an announcement to make,” I said while holding up my drink and Justin holding my hand to help with my balance. My head had been hurting a bit lately and it was affecting my balance tremendously. I kept popping Advil every 4 hours but it just wasn’t helping me out. I was feeling so dizzy.

“It’s been a long year…we’ve all been through a lot and I think it’s truly amazing that we can all sit here like this and all is forgiven…and I want to say in front of everyone…Madison…I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done to you…The name calling, the disrespect everything and I hope you can find in your heart to forgive me.”

She nodded her head but kept looking forward.

“I also want to tell you all that…I’m going on tour!!!!“

The boys clapped and each got up to give me a hug. Jack holding on the longest….

"I need an opening act and I want Jack and Jack to open for me,” I said and Johnson started going insane while Gilinsky just looked at me.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes! You guys are amazingly talented and I want the whole world to see what I see.”

Jack hugged me again and I laughed while we both rocked back and forth.

“Okay now I have an announcement.”

We all turned and looked at Justin and he looked nervous and rubbed his hands down his jeans before grabbing my hand and pulling me gently away from Jack.

“Y/N I’ve watched your Vines from the beginning and I fell in love. As you grew I fell more and more in love with you. When you showed up to the party I was nervous and I couldn’t even think of the words to say to you…this past year has been perfect. You probably don’t think it but I think you’re perfect. From your hair to your eyes to your laugh and especially your smile is the light of my life. It’s only been one year and I feel like I’ve known you for my whole life. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and I fall more in love with you everyday and I’ll never stop having this feeling,” Justin said while looking me dead in my eyes and I wanted to cry. He slowly dropped to the ground and I covered my mouth while the tears flew down my face.

“Y/N…will you marry me?”

I stood there in shock. My mouth opened and I couldn’t get words out. I looked at my friends and some of them were smiling and some were looking at me waiting for my response….Jack was one of them. Justin was everything to me. He helped me through so much and I love him. That’s the important thing when you marry someone isn’t it? You need love, security, and faith. A husband should love you every minute of everyday. A husband should be able to provide for you and protect you from hurt and harm. A husband and wife should have faith that their marriage will have its rocky turmoil but in the end it’s the Union of one that keeps them strong.

Justin loved me. He loved me when I thought he didn’t even know I existed. When I was hurt he made sure I was comfortable at the Roast and that I wasn’t around Jack that night. He brought me to his house and helped me heal. He kept me away from them and he made me think for myself…and I have faith that we are going to be eternally happy.

“Yes!”

"WHAT THE FUCK!”

✨😳😱 Who said that?“✨

Fuuuuuuccckkk that was hard.

Today was the first time I ran the full intervals each time. I went alone to limit distractions. Blasted Justin, Taylor, Brand New, and Imagine Dragons as high as I could and focused on what I want to be not what I am.

My body hurt. My lungs burned. My legs wobbled. But my body did not give out one time before my head did. Running is not a physically battle it’s a mental one for me.

Today I won. Post-surgery Clover, who is sick of not being the runner she once was (which was still super slow but always consistent), kicked pre-surgery Clover’s mind games down.

I will not sabotage myself. I will not sabotage myself. Repeat over and over. I will. I can. I did. I will again.

Here’s to the kids who spend hours upon hours watching live performances of their idols on the internet because they’ve learned to accept the fact that that’s the closest they’ll ever get.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
—  Frank Ocean