taunes

seryus

“Love is about finding courage inside of you that you didn’t even know was there” 

Waktu puber dulu, anggota keluarga yang senior sering mewanti-wanti kami yang remaja dengan larangan pacaran. Kalimat yang diulang, begitu khas sampai redaksinya masih menempel di ingatan. Bunyinya, “Jangan pacaran kalau enggak mau dikawinkan!”. Kami yang waktu itu masih maraton film kartun di ahad pagi dibuat bergidik dengan ancaman “dikawinkan” yang terdengar mengerikan.

Sebetulnya, nilai yang diperkenalkan lewat larangan pacaran mengandung prinsip yang mendasar, jangan main-main kalau belum bisa serius. Sementara anak-anak ingusan tadi tumbuh jadi muda-mudi yang mulai mengenal ketertarikan terhadap lawan jenis, watak main-main mereka masih terbawa sebagai bekal karakter untuk menghadapi banyak hal baru. “Why so serious? Pacaran kan enggak mesti nikah” pikirnya. Akhirnya pantangan pun terlanggar karena rasa penasaran untuk coba-coba mengalahkan kengerian terhadap larangan tadi.

Dimulailah masa dimana muda-mudi (termasuk saya waktu itu) menggelorakan cinta monyet. Masa dimana semua upaya dikerahkan supaya gelora asmara yang tengah bernyala makin kuat kobarannya. Duile. Tapi ya seindah-indahnya cinta monyet, banyak yang berakhir percuma karena sifat hubungan yang dijalin masih coba-coba dan penuh asas “siapa-tau”. Siapa tau awet, siapa tau cocok, siapa tau memang jodohnya - tanpa ada kesiapan apapun.

Jadi, harusnya enggak perlu senewen kalau mereka yang udah nikah memandang drama romantika cinta monyet yang begitu menyita pikiran, tenaga, uang dan waktu dengan sebelah mata. Enggak heran juga sebetulnya kalau dulu nasihat, “Jangan pacaran kalau enggak mau dikawinkan!” umumnya diucapkan oleh orang yang udah menikah karena mereka telah mengalami sendiri perbandingan antara berpacaran dengan berumahtangga yang bagaikan langit dan bumi. 

Misal waktu seorang laki-laki menyatakan perasaan pada perempuan yang ingin dipacari dengan pertanyaan, “Kamu mau enggak jadi pacarku?”, maka pria yang ingin menikah menindaklanjuti keberaniannya kepada bapak dari perempuan idamannya dengan pertanyaan, “Permisi, pak. Apa sudah ada laki-laki yang melamar anak bapak sebelumnya?”.

Atau saat laki-laki yang ingin berpacaran mengemukakan perasaan, penyampaiannya dilakukan di hadapan pujaannya semata. Lain halnya dengan pria yang ingin berumahtangga, pengucapan ikrarnya harus dilakukan di hadapan orang tua, keluarga juga petugas KUA agar hubungannya bisa disahkan secara hukum. Di saat hakikat dari kasih sayang adalah menemukan keberanian, maka harusnya muda-mudi di luar sana menyalurkan keberanian yang ditemukan pada sebaik-baik muara hubungan.

Wejangan, “Jangan pacaran kalau enggak mau dikawinkan!” belasan taun lalu punya hikmah yang mendalam buat saya setelah berkeluarga. Ternyata, laki-laki dianggap serius menyayangi seorang perempuan dengan menikahinya dan bertanggung jawab dengan dunia-akhiratnya. Kalau ada yang mengaku sayang tapi enggak berani menikahi, jelas dia main-main. Sampai kapanpun, kata “pacaran” enggak pernah cocok disandingkan dengan kata “serius”. Lagipula, siapa yang mau disayangi dengan main-main?

Kalau ingin berkasihsayang secara utuh, dewasalah dan menikahlah. Romansa layar lebar paling indah sekalipun akan terasa picisan saat kita menjalani kisah rumahtangga sendiri yang tingkat keseruannya lebih menakjubkan.

Kalau bayangan suami atau istri teladan mutlak bersumber dari pengalaman pacaran, semua orang tua akan mewajibkan anak-anaknya untuk berpacaran sebelum menikah. Nyatanya, mereka yang enggak pernah pacaran sekalipun dan memilih untuk menjaga debar perasaannya sampai akhirnya menikah, juga bisa menjadi suami dan istri teladan karena enggak ada kaitan yang berarti antara pacaran dengan berumahtangga. 

Hal sederhana ini penting untuk disampaikan seiring terus mewabahnya pemahaman yang salah tentang hakikat hubungan pra-menikah di kalangan anak muda. Dengan gambaran yang sama, di masa depan nanti, saya akan berbicara kepada anak-anak saya, “Waktu muda dulu, Ayah pernah nyoba pacaran dan nyeselnya luar biasa sampai Ayah enggak rela kamu ngulangin kesalahan yang sama. Jangan rugiin orang lain. Jangan main-main dengan perasaan sebelum kamu berani untuk serius. Hidupi hidupmu dan hidupkan mimpimu sebaik-baiknya selagi muda. Pengalaman pacaran enggak akan masuk CV, juga enggak akan layak disebut pencapaian apalagi dibanggakan”

Women of Star Wars
  • ORIGINAL TRILOGY: Leia Organa, Beru Whitesun Lars, Mon Mothma, Dorovio Bold, Sila Kott, Toryn Farr, Oola
  • PREQUEL TRILOGY: Padmé Amidala, Shmi Skywalker, Aayla Secura, Luminara Unduli, Breha Organa, Sheltay Retrac, Cordé, Dormé, Sabé, Barriss Offee, Adi Gallia, Stass Allie, Zam Wesell, Aurra Sing, Shaak Ti, Yaddle, Depa Billaba, Sly Moore, Pooja Naberrie, Sola Naberrie, Jocasta Nu, Taun We, Gardulla the Hutt, Bultar Swan
  • THE CLONE WARS: Ahsoka Tano, Satine Kryze, Asajj Ventress, Bo-Katan Kryze, Queen Julia, Steela Gerrera, Mother Talzin, Riyo Chuchi, Peppi Bow, Sugi, Miraj Scintel, The Daughter, Queen Neeyutnee, R2-KT, Numa, Mina Bonteri
  • LEGENDS: Mara Jade Skywalker, Winter Celchu, Jaina Solo, Tenel Ka Djo, Jan Ors, Deena Shan, Tahiri Veila, Ru Murleen, Juno Eclipse, Sian Tesar, Rachi Sitra, Bria Tharen, Kasan Moor, Mirta Gev, Dani, Maris Brood, Darth Talon, Lumiya, Plouur Ilo, Cilghal, Meetra Surik, Bastila Shan, Arden Lyn, Nomi Sunrider, Iella Wessiri Antilles, Mirax Terrik Horn, Tionne Solusar, Callista Ming, Darth Traya, Vestara Khai, Sintas Vel, Ailyn Vel, Etain Tur-Mukan, Alema Rar, Leonia Tavira, Natasi Daala, Ysanne Isard, Tahl, Siri Tachi, Abeloth, Deliah Blue, Aimi Loto, Rianna Saren, Sariss, Cindel Towani, Tavion Axmis, Alora, Bera Kazan, Vana Sage, Darth Zannah, Syal Antilles, Wynnsa Starflare, Aeron Azzameen, Komari Vosa, Rozatta, Savan, Guri, Parja Bralor, Laseema, Jilka Zan Zentis, Besany Wennen, Laranth Tarak, Marasiah Fel, Astraal Vao, Dark Woman/An'ya Kuro, Mirith Sinn, Shirlee Faughn, Darth Maladi, Morrigan Corde, Azlyn Rae, Gunn Yage, Nera Dantels, Teneniel Djo, Charal, Kneesaa, Mallatobuck, Vergere, Kerra Holt, Serra Keto, Vima Sunrider, Eleena Daru, Shae Vizla, Satele Shan, Lana Beniko, Empress Vaylin, Vette, Kaliyo Djannis, Senya Tirall, T'ra Saa, Khaleen Hentz, SCORPIO, Mira, Visas Marr, Brianna the Handmaiden, Mission Vao, Juhani, Latara, IN-GA 44, Kyrisa, Silri, Yuthura Ban, Tyria Sarkin Tainer, Viqi Shesh, Chantique, Jarael, Raana Tey, Tia, Ghia, Sia-Lan Wezz, Soara Antana, Darra Thel-Tanis, Nei Rin, Dr. Amie Antin, Rilla, Donna Telmark, Raina Quill, Clee Rhara, Enna Lands, Malory Lands, Nen Yim, Astri Oddo-Divinian, Bant Eerin, Jenna Zan Arbor, Fy-Tor-Ana, Deara Antilles, Bhindi Drayson, Onimi, Qwi Xux, Inyri Forge, Shara, Queen Kylantha, Ona Nobis, Orykan Tamarik, Cerasi, Elan
  • CANON: Rey, Jyn Erso, Sana Starros, Evaan Verlaine, Hera Syndulla, Sabine Wren, Captain Phasma, Maz Kanata, Kaeden Larte, Miara Larte, Rae Sloane, Sosha Soruna, Chelli Lona Aphra, Norra Wexley, Karé Kun, Jessika Pava, Ciena Ree, Jude Edivon, Ketsu Onyo, Seventh Sister, Greer Sonnel, Carise Sindian, Korr Sella, Pamich Nerro Goode, Deathstick, Tynnra Pamlo, Kaydel Ko Connix, Shara Bey, Jas Emari, Lyra Erso, Nakari Kelen, Maketh Tua, Arihnda Pryce, Delian Mors, Bazine Netal, Harter Kalonia, Ursa Wren, Kyrsta Agate, Zal Dinnes, Chanath Cha, Brand/Lauren Mel Coelho, Dhara Leonis, Alecia Beck, Gina Moonsong, Suralinda Javos, Rose, Iden Versio, Amilyn Holdo
  • LEGO STAR WARS: Vaash Ti, Bene, Kordi Freemaker, Naare, Lieutenant Ostic
Got7 Reaction to - You Feeding Them

Masterlist 

Requests are open guys! 

Mark- Tiny little fluff ball would love it okay. Like, he would be so surprised at first and then you would do it again and he’d be like “oh okay this is a thing now sweet” and you would put the food in his mouth and he would smile his cute smile and it would be so adorable and then he would ask if he could feed you too and you’d be like “as long as you promise not to smear food on my face” and he would be so shocked that you would even think that cause he would never! And then he would do it just to see your reaction cause that’s how he is he’s a monster someone stop him.

Jaebum- This man loves his food. And he loves you. He would LIVE FOR IT. like okay imagine thing right? You’re sitting on the couch together and you’re in his lap cause that’s his favorite place for you to be and you would be eating something and he would ask if he could have some and you’d just like yeah okay of course and instead of handing it to him you just reach back and stick in it his mouth for his so that he doesn’t have to use his hands cause they are currently around your waist and that would be waste right? And he would be kind of like “oh okay” and just take the food with his mouth and then this would continue cause he would love it yes.

Jackson- No. just. He would be such a dork about it. You would tell him to open his mouth and he’d be like “what why what are you going to do to me i don’t know if i trust you or not please don’t poison me okay i am too young to die” and then you’d shove the food in his mouth violently just to shut him up and he would pout and say he was just kidding and “come back jagi i promise to be nice please ill let you feed me!” this is a fact he is a child.

Jinyoung- He would let you do it once because you wanted to but then be adamant that he was an adult and he could feed himself. He is such a guy and would be like “no no i should be feeding you not the other way around come here i’m your mom” im sorry i couldn’t help myself. He would think it was cute once but then nah.

Youngjae- My sweet sunshine oh my gosh he would love it so much! He would constantly ask you to feed him cause his hands are busy playing a video game and he just wants food oh my gosh imagine how cute. Or like you are watching a movie and you just put a piece of candy in his mouth cause he’s already holding something like a stuffed animal or pillow or maybe you are in his lap and he would love it okay.

BamBam- This fucker. He would make it into something dirty. Like ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME. you would be like ‘here let me feed you’ and he would say something like ‘no no let me feed you something i have something better than food’ that little shit he would do it okay don’t argue with me. But also he would love it cause he is a baby. But he would still take any chance he got to make it dirty.

Yugyeom- This could either of two way. Either he is going to pull a BamBam and make a sexual comment or be like Youngjae and be all for it cause he would think it was the cutest thing that you are feeding him like a child cause he loves to be spoiled and he would say something like ‘see my jagi loves me she feeds me cause im special’ and you’d have to flick him in the forehead for being a little shit but you secretly love him so it’s okay.

Texts and Snaps (GOT7)

All The Boys

♬ You fangirl to your best friends about their music video for Never Ever

♬ Boyfriend texts
Mark || Jaebum || Jackson || Jinyoung || Youngjae || BamBam || Yugyeom

Mark

❁ nothing yet :(

Jaebum

★ nothing yet :(

Jackson

❂ You wish the birthday boy a happy birthday

❂ Your boyfriend is overseas for promotions and you manage to get hospitalized 

Jinyoung

❀ You ask Jinyoung to give you a hint about his upcoming comeback

❀ Strangers to friends to lovers

Youngjae

☀︎ You fangirl to the wrong person about Youngjae’s comeback pictures

BamBam

☻  You tell your boyfriend how good he looks in his recent selca

☻ Wishing the birthday boy a happy birthday

Yugyeom

❅ You talk about Yugyeom’s new Soundcloud

tiket

“The only source of knowledge is experience”

Kita diasuh oleh keputusan yang kita buat. Karenanya, kita terdidik untuk beradaptasi terhadap beraneka situasi yang lahir dari sikap tertentu di masa lalu. Pepatah klasik berbunyi, “pengalaman adalah guru terbaik”. Lalu kalau pengalaman merupakan guru, maka keputusan yang kita buat adalah sekolahnya. Kita mendaftar di sana, berkomitmen untuk menempuh proses akibatnya dan kelak akan lulus dari pendidikannya.

Enggak heran kalau mereka yang terbiasa mandiri dalam berkeputusan, punya tingkat kedewasaan yang berkembang dengan alami karena di balik setiap keputusan sering hadir pergulatan batin yang sengit sebelumnya dan konsekuensi yang selalu diboyong sesudahnya.

Dua hal besar yang membuat saya belajar keras hampir setaun terakhir adalah beristri dan berketurunan. Bahwa keduanya membutuhkan persiapan yang keliatannya rumit, betul. Tapi kalau kerumitannya enggak coba diurai, kapan siapnya? Saya bersyukur karena keputusan untuk kedua hal besar tersebut dibuat lebih awal dibanding perkiraan sebelumnya. Artinya, saya diberanikan untuk mendaftar sekolah dan berguru lebih awal lewat keputusan menikah dan melalui pengalaman sebagai suami serta ayah.

Mungkin sama dengan kebanyakan laki-laki di angkatan kami, dulu saya berpikir bahwa saya akan menikah di umur 28 taun. Rasanya, laki-laki di umur tersebut udah punya tingkat kemapanan yang cukup merata dalam berbagai aspek pendukung baik mental, spiritual maupun finansial. Nyatanya, saya ditakdirkan menikah di umur 25 taun - lebih awal 3 taun dari rencana.

Juga sama dengan para sahabat di lingkaran kami, saya berpikir untuk punya anak 1 taun setelah menikah. Rasanya, akan terasa lebih indah kalau awal pernikahan dihabiskan dengan berduaan dulu sepuasnya sambil mematangkan persiapan. Setelah dirasa puas berdua, barulah si kecil diikhtiarkan kehadirannya. Nyatanya, kami ditakdirkan berketurunan di umur pernikahan yang baru dua bulan - lebih awal sepuluh bulan dari rencana.

Selain rasa syukur yang layak dipanjatkan atas kesegeraan hadirnya pasangan dan keturunan, mengedepankan keberanian dalam membuat keputusan ternyata jadi hal penting yang saya syukuri keberadaannya sekarang. Kalau saya enggak dimampukan untuk lebih yakin dengan ketentuan-Nya, keberanian untuk mengambil “tiket” sebagai suami dan ayah akan terasa mengerikan.

Akhirnya, saya dibuat tersadar bahwa menanti kemapanan untuk menghadapi tantangan cuma alasan dari ketakutan yang dipelihara oleh diri sendiri, grafik positif perkembangan kedewasaan selalu dimulai dari kemauan untuk menghadapi tantangan dan terkadang kesiapan enggak melulu berasal dari matangnya persiapan tapi juga dari keberanian untuk melanjutkan pembelajaran.

Kenapa “melanjutkan”, bukan “memulai”? Karena keberanian yang terukur memerlukan sedikit kepantasan, bukan menjadikan diri sebagai martir dari takdir semata dan tumbang karena keputusan sembrono. 

Saya belajar bahwa ternyata ketidaksiapan berasal dari ketakutan dan ketakutan berasal dari keraguan. Selama kita belum mau belajar menaruh keyakinan lebih dengan ketentuan-Nya, selama itu pula keputusan besar dalam hidup (yang justru mendatangkan kebaikan) akan semakin menjauh dari kenyataan.

Jadi, bentuk permohonan doa yang juga mendasar ialah meminta kesigapan dalam membuat keputusan. Bukan meminta kemudahan atau kelancaran karena mungkin keduanya belum tentu lebih baik dari kesukaran atau hambatan. Tapi kesigapan untuk mengambil tiket pembelajaran dan berkeputusan untuk jadi murid teladan dari setiap pengalaman yang dihadirkan-Nya. 

Kahlil Gibran pernah menulis, “March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.”. Maka, berkeputusanlah dengan-Nya dan terus melajulah.

GOT7 reaction to crush laughing at love note

Jaebum:

JB would at first laugh at you “pretending” rejecting him bc who would actually reject him? He could get any girl on this planet, but once he realized you weren’t pretending he was left in awe at the fact that he actually got rejected. He’d be kinda shocked and awkward.

Jinyoung:

“Are you serious right now y/n? I just sucked up all my pride to give this to you and you laugh?”

god diggity damn his eyebrows are rlly good

Youngjae:

Did I write a joke on the paper?

me too youngjae, me too

Jackson:

“What’s so funny? There is nothing funny about my love filled confession, y/n!”

Mark:

“oh okay..”

Bambam:

*doesn’t realize you’re laughing at his note and asks what you’re laughing at but then realizes you’re laughing at him*

Yugyeom:

Yugyeom would be very embarrassed and try to avoid you at all costs.


again i am so sorry this is so bad :(


*gifs not mine, credit to owners*

You don’t belong here! (9)

Originally posted by blueberryhouse

Chapter 8

A/N: So I was able to write one more chapter before I go on my convention vacation tomorrow/today (It’s 12:30am here so tech it’s today I’m leaving but I don’t count that til I actually go to bed)! Yaaaay! Thank god for already knowing exactly how I wanted this chapter to go and for 30min lunch breaks at work. I really love the support from my readers! I really love Mark so much that I’d stay up writing til almost 1am when I still need to pack to write this chapter :D Kill meeeeeee. But yes, anyways, here is the next chapter and I hope you like it!

Slight trigger warning: Mentions and descriptions of a panic attack and lots of swearing.

Chapter 9:

       You skip along the winding dark road back home. You normally never skip, but you are so happy that everything is coming together. You can’t wait to show Mark how much you love him!

       As you approach your dorm, you take a breather to control your excitement. You don’t want to give away the surprise just yet. You open the front door to your dorm and notice Mark sitting on the couch staring own at his hands.

       You smile at him as you take off your shoes. “Hey, babe, how was your d-”

       "Where were you?“ He cuts you off quietly.

       You tilt your head in confusion. "I was out.” You say hesitantly. ‘Why is he acting so weird?’

       He looks up at you, noticing a hint of tension behind his gaze. “That’s all? You were 'out’?”

       "Yo, what is going on, Mark?“ You hold up your hands in defense.

       "I saw you!” He raises his voice, this time speaking in English. 'Shit, one of the only times he speaks English here is when he’s mad.’

       You raise an eyebrow and speak back in English. “You saw me doing what exactly?”

       Mark quickly stands up, towering over you. He slams his fist into the nearby wall, making you flinch. “I saw you with him! With JB!”

       Your eyes widen slightly. “You saw that?” 'Shit, has he figured out what my plan is? No, that can’t be, he wouldn’t be so angry about that, would he?’

       His gaze pierces you with nothing but rage. “Yes, I saw that! How could you do this to me, Y/N?! After everything I’ve done for you!”

       You take a step towards him, which in turn makes him take two steps back. You’ve never seen him so shaken up before. “Okay, so you saw me with JB. What about it? I still don’t understand why you’re so upset about it.” How much did he actually see?

       Mark looks at you with a dumbfounded look. “How could you not understand what is happening right now?!” He runs his hands through his hair and chuckles darkly.

       You gesture with your hands, now you’re getting angry. “Because you’re not telling me what the hell is actually going on with you! Stop beating around the damn bush, Mark!” Your voice starts raising.

       "I SAW YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH JB. MY BEST FRIEND!“ Mark screams finally.

       You raise both eyebrows, not believing what he’s saying right now. "You think I’m CHEATING on you?”

       This time, Mark takes a step towards you, closing the distance. You both were mere inches apart, both with the same amount of anger evident in your faces. “I don’t THINK anything. I know what I saw! God, I thought you were different, Y/N. You’re just like those other fangirls. Jumping from Idol to Idol, hoping to get your fill.” He jabs his finger into your chest with anger.

       'Oh hell no, he did not just say that!’ You smack his hand away from you. “Al-fucking-right, buddy. Maybe if you actually LISTENED to me about what is REALLY going on, you’d stop being such an ass!”

       Before you could continue with your rant, he holds up his hand to shut you up. “Don’t. I’ve heard enough.” Mark grabs his shoes to put on.

       "What the hell do you mean you’ve heard enough?! You won’t even let me SAY anything!“ You scream at him, your hands flying everywhere.

       He stands up once his shoes are tied. "Just stop, Y/N.” He glares at you and takes a shaky breath before spitting out, “Those girls at the fan-meet were right. You don’t belong here!”

       Silence.

       Once those last few words leave his lips, your heart stops. You stare at him wide eyed. You never in a million years thought those words would ever be coming from his mouth. You stand there, frozen in place. Utterly speechless.

       Mark regretted the second those words left his mouth. His breath hitches, noticing how his words affected you. But he felt too hurt by what you did. So instead he pushes past you and out the door before he breaks down right in-front of you.

       It takes you a second to register exactly what just happened. But once that door slams shut, you completely unravel. Your back instantly meets the door, as you slide down and curl up into a ball. Eyes wide, you start to hyperventilate. It feels like something is constricting your airflow. No matter how hard you try, you can’t catch your breath. Your whole body starts shaking and could no longer control your movements. Tears stream down your face as sobs escape your lips. The more you thought about what just happened, the more you cried. Your chest tightened and bile rose up to your throat. You swallow it down, trying the coping methods your old therapist would give you when you suffered from panic attacks regularly. You haven’t had a panic attack like this since you lost your parents.

       It takes you about 30 minutes to calm yourself down enough to think clearly. By that time, you made up your mind. With trembling legs, you stand up and drag your suitcase into the living room. You grab all your important belongings and toss them into the luggage, all while tears stain your cheeks.

       How the hell could Mark say that to you?! You weren’t cheating on him! You wouldn’t dare! He was the best thing to ever happen to you. But he wouldn’t even let you explain!

       You sigh, choking out another sob. What’s the point of staying here if you’re not wanted? Mark was the reason you decided to stay in the first place. But now, even he doesn’t want you here. You do everything in your power to not completely fall apart as you use your computer to buy a one way ticket back to Chicago.

NEXT MORNING

       Mark sighs in frustration, laying back onto the floor of the practice room. He was trying to do anything to forget about last night. It took every ounce of his power to not turn back and comfort you once he heard you completely break down behind that door. He came early to the dance room, making sure to avoid the rest of the guys. He wasn’t sure how he was going to face JB. Not after that. His fists clench thinking of you in his leaders arms.

       As if the world doesn’t hate him enough right now, he hears the door to the practice room open and the rest of Got7 file in.

       "Hey Mark-hyung,“ Jinyoung greets.

       Mark grunts out a response, not sparing them a glance. All 6 boys look at each other. This wasn’t like Mark at all. Normally he would say something back.

       "Hyung, is everything okay?” Youngjae asks, worried laced in his voice. He also receives a grunt in return.

       JB rolls his eyes, deciding to ignore it instead. “Hey, Mark, have you seen Y/N this morning? She wasn’t home.”

       Just hearing JB’s voice right now makes Mark boil with anger. He was slightly concerned with why you weren’t home, but that’s not what was on his mind right now. He quickly stands up and turns around and glares at JB. “Why do you want to know, huh? Haven’t had enough of my girl behind my back, now you have to ASK me where she is so you can betray me to my face?”

       All of Got7 just stare dumbstruck, mouths hanging open at Marks words. He’s never spoken like that to any, especially JB. JB quickly recovers and glares at the boy. “What in gods name are you talking about, Mark?!”

       Mark quickly steps forward, getting into JBs face. Jackson quickly puts his hands between them, barely able to stop Mark. “I saw you with her. I SAW you with Y/N last night! You guys were going behind my back! I was finally happy and you had to take that away from me!” He screamed. He was on the verge of tears, almost spitting into JBs face.

       JB goes from looking annoyed to being angry. “You saw me with Y/N last night. Did you ever ask her WHY we were together?”

       Yugyeom holds Marks shoulders to try to calm him down. “I didn’t have to. I saw it with my own eyes! She kissed you and was hugging you!” He glares at his leader.

       JB smacks Mark upside the head, shocking almost everyone, including Mark himself. “Would you shut up! Nothing is going on between her and I! The kiss and hug were a THANK YOU from her! I was helping her with something”

       Mark just stands there, looking at JB like he just grew a second head. “I…what?”

       JB facepalms. “You fucking idiot, you didn’t let Y/N explain anything to you, did you? I was helping her write a song! She wanted to write you a song for your birthday and didn’t know how to go about that, considering she can only write lyrics!” JB throws the music papers he had in his bag at Mark.

       Mark picks them up, reading through them like his life depended on it. The further he read, the wider his eyes went. “Oh no… Oh no.. No no no, what have I done. That’s why she’s not home.” Mark says quietly, his whole body trembling. He looks at JB with tears in his eyes.

       JB narrows his eyes at his friends words. “Mark, what the hell did you do?!”

surut

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind”

Penghitungan waktu jadi bagian yang enggak terpisahkan dari pertandingan sepakbola di layar kaca. Makin dekat dengan injury time, pemain yang berlaga di lapangan makin gesit memaksimalkan peluang. Ekspresi sesal sering tertangkap kamera saat operan-operan ciamik harus berakhir nihil karena sebuah keteledoran. Pemain, pelatih, tim ofisial hingga penonton bergulat dengan rasa tegang sejak enggak ada yang tau dalam kondisi apa pertandingan berakhir. Suka atau duka?

Andai setiap orang tau kapan injury time di hidup mereka, enggak akan ada satu peluang pun yang dibuang percuma. Berbanding terbalik dengan pertandingan di layar kaca, kita yang makin dekat dengan injury time masing-masing belum termotivasi untuk selalu menyegerakan perbuatan baik. Mungkinkah kita masih menjadi bagian dari mereka yang menikmati pengurangan waktu dan terburu-buru mengejar ketertinggalan di akhir?

Sementara hitungan mundur terus berjalan, kita berlalu pada linimasa usia menuju titik surut. Sementara hitungan mundur terus berjalan, kita mengabaikan kelapangan di masa kini untuk mencemaskan masa depan yang belum tentu datang dan meratapi masa lalu yang enggak bisa diraih lagi.

Ada dalih-dalih yang terucap saat kita menunda perbuatan baik semisal, “Santai, masih ada besok” atau “Nantilah, kalau sempet”. Padahal, sepotong hikmah dari Hasan Al-Bashri berbunyi, “Manusia adalah kumpulan hari-hari. Kalau satu hari kamu bepergian hingga mentari tenggelam di ufuk barat, maka sebagian dari dirimu telah pergi. Tinggal menanti dimana pada suatu saat, hari-hari milikmu tinggal sedikit”.

Guru saya pernah bercerita tentang ponakannya yang baru beranjak dewasa dan beberapa kali diajak mengaji. Bujukan, “Ngaji yuk” selalu berbalas “Nanti, kang. Kalau udah punya motor”. Hingga kemudian motor berhasil dimiliki, ajakan yang sama digulirkan kembali. Responnya berubah, “Nanti, kang. Kalau udah beres ngelamar calon. Dua bulan lagi ya”. Sebulan berlalu, selepas lembur dari tempat kerjanya, laki-laki muda itu merasa kepalanya pusing sekali. Beberapa saat sehabis menelan sebutir obat pereda, ia pun tidak sadarkan diri - selamanya. Sayang, ajalnya tak tertunda dengan ucapan “Nanti, kang”.

Kalau inget cerita itu, saya nyesel pernah bersukacita melepas perginya waktu lewat perayaan-perayaan yang enggak penting beberapa taun ke belakang. Seolah momen-momen temporer itu sepadan dengan hilangnya begitu banyak waktu. Bukankah berlalunya hari demi hari jadi pengingat paling sederhana bahwa kita makin dekat dengan injury time? Bukankah sewajarnya kita lebih sering bersedu atas kepergian sebagian dari diri kita yang enggak bisa kembali lagi?

Kita masih terlena dengan keberlimpahan waktu hingga ia terasa tak istimewa lagi. Suatu hari kita akan tersadar bahwa dari apa yang tengah dinikmati saat ini, ada prinsip trade off di dalamnya. Saat muda, kita punya banyak waktu. Namun banyak yang dibuang percuma. Di masa dewasa, kita punya sedikit waktu untuk terlalu banyak urusan. Di masa tua, kita punya keleluasaan tapi sisa waktu enggak banyak lagi.

Imam Syafi’i pernah mendapatkan nasihat dari seorang sufi, “Waktu laksana pedang. Jika engkau tidak menggunakannya, maka ia yang malah akan menebasmu. Dan dirimu jika tidak tersibukkan dalam kebaikan, pasti akan tersibukkan dalam hal yang sia-sia”

Dengan begitu ringannya ungkapan klasik “Time flies, ya” selalu terucap dari lisan kita, ada baiknya kita melongok sejenak ke belakang untuk mencermati jejak-jejak yang kita pijakkan di masa lalu. Jejak apa yang ditinggalkan selepas “pertandingan” kita berakhir nanti? Akankah kita bersukacita atau berdukacita karenanya?

“It wasn’t just one person that you ruined, but three”-JA

Originally posted by sadiaxxstylesxxstiles

Note: I know this is the first time in a long time since I’ve posted and I’m really sorry. But my GCSE’s start next week and I’m kins freaking out. Also I know i have Dan Howell and Phil Lester requests to do, but please bear with me. I was also having Jeff feels and wanted to write this, hope you like it!!

Imagine: When finding out what really happend the night of the crash, you end up losing control and telling everyone yours and Jeff’s newest and happiest secret

Pairing: Jeff x Reader

Word Count: 1979

Warning: lots of talk about Jeffs death and the car accident

“Y/N, it was the first day that you walked into school without him by your side. That’s when it really it me, the true consequences of that night. You see I thought Sheri had called the police, I thought that it was all alright and sorted, I thought everything was OK. But what I didn’t think about is the loss you have suffered, and that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Well, I guess, my short life.” Hannah’s voice echoed through your ears

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