Xiumin - *He goes to see what your fangirling about when he’s making a coffee for himself and finds you scrolling through your phone with Tatum’s face all down the screen and makes it known he’s in the room by letting out a little scoff and directs you to the bedroom* Bedroom now, I can show you who’s actually hotter out of HIM and I
Lay - *gif explains i guess*
Kai - *Jealousy filled his blood and he becomes quite annoyed, getting your attention and dancing for you, making you rethink about who’s hotter
Suho - *He didn’t want this to ever happen again so he proved you wrong about even thinking that Tatum was hot and stands there, shirt undone until you noticed him*
Kyungsoo - *After having 5 minutes of hearing you squeal over Tatum, he does everything he can to change your mind about the way you think about him and lucky it works*
Tao - *He bitches to you until you give him the attention he wanted and when you turn around to him, you can’t take your eyes off him and agree with him that he’s hotter than Tatum*
Chen - *He’d sass you and would rip the piss out of Tatum some way or any other and proves you wrong about who’s hotter*
Kris - *He’d be really cold about this whole situation and uses his hot, deep, husky voice to try haul you to knowing that your boyfriend his better looking that Tatum*
Chanyeol - *Wouldn’t stop pouting for quiet a whole but gets bored waiting for you to stop being merged into a pit of Tatum and had to do something about this his own way*
Baekhyun - *He’d get fed up after 10 minutes of your fangirling and puts an end to it, teasing you and making you drool over him*
Sehun - *He doesn’t care if you think Tatum’s hot, he takes your phone off you as he walks past, puts it where you can’t reach it and shows you who is better looking*
Luhan - *He’d judge you so hard before putting a stop to this whole problem and proves that he’s way better than Tatum*
I went to see Jupiter Ascending and it was INCREDIBLE
Sean Bean is a SPACE BEE with HEXAGONAL IRISES and Channing Tatum was FIRED FROM THE MILITARY and both of them got THEIR WINGS RIPPED OFF
And Eddie Redmayne has SWOOPY SLEEVES and has a FLOATING PALANQUIN with a REAL LIVING FIGUREHEAD and AN ARMY OF DRAGONS and he and his brother and sister are WEIRDLY INCESTUOUS WITH THE REINCARNATION OF THEIR MOM
and there is a SPACE BUREAUCRACY and it is apparently legal to MARRY A WOMAN WHO IS GENETICALLY YOUR MOTHER
and also it passes the bechdel test, which was nice
its a lesser known fact about erwin’s private life but he used to work as a stripper during his squad leader days to fund the survey corps. hence the sharp decrease in their finances after he hit his thirties.
Because it’s not a matter of attractiveness. I mean Channing Tatum’s face looks like it was sculpted out of a half-baked potato and he’s basically making a living as a sex symbol. I’ve seen him described as the 21st century’s Fred Astaire and that’s fair because Fred Astaire also had a very interesting, idiosyncratic face but the women he danced with could have been sisters for how similarly they looked.
(Sorry, Rita Hayworth, as much as I love you….)
When I think of the last few actresses that have made me sit back and go “wow that is a great face” it’s because there is something odd and unique about it—Eva Green’s cheekbones are ghoulish, Marianne Jean-Baptiste carries herself like a lioness or a Roman legate, Ruth Wilson is basically just a mouth with eyes and she’s terrifying, Gwendoline Christie and Katherine Hepburn and Alfre Woodard and and and
I mean, yes, it’s partly what you do with that great face–I’m always a little disapproving when people use models in fancasts, because acting is a skill, not everybody has it—but also these are women who don’t look like anyone else, and interesting faces are interesting to watch.