tarurs

the reasons the signs are fails (yay!)

aries: butterfingers

taurus: mumbles

gemini: inappropriate winking

cancer: psycho thoughts

leo: hates letting others use their laptop

virgo: dislikes human interaction

libra: spiral of lies

scorpio: procrastination

sagittarius: can’t sleep

capricorn: has near-death experiences

aquarius: room’s a mess (especially the sock drawer)

pisces: people can’t touch your neck. ever.

ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 

GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.


CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!

LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 

VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 


LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 


SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 


SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.


CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 


AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 

PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 

The Signs As Various “The 1975″ Songs

 Aries- 

“Don’t fall in love with the moment/ And think you’re in love with the girl/ There’s no more water in this city/ Be careful or you’ll drown” -She’s American

A broken half a glass has opened up his chin/ He thinks he’s hard, a powdered mouth that tastes of gin/ He’s just been barred for that blues he was smoking/ And then he barks: it’s my car I’m sleeping in” -M.O.N.E.Y

Taurus-  

“I don’t want your body/ But I hate to think about you with somebody else/ Our love has gone cold/ You’re intertwining your soul with somebody else/ I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone/ And then leaving with somebody else/ No, I don’t want your body/ But I’m picturing your body with somebody else” -Somebody Else 

Gemini-

She said “It’s not about your body it’s just social implications are/ Brought upon by this party that we’re sitting in”/  And “I’d like to say you’ve changed but you’re always the same./ I’ve got a feeling that the marijuana’s rotting your brain”/ She’s got two-tone everything -way too intelligent/ Moving but she just can’t move/ She’s got two phones, everything./ Boyfriend, telling him “Find me cause I’ll never find you" -She Way Out 

Cancer- 

“She tries her best, but it hurts her chest/ And even though her sun is gone/ She’d like to love her child nevertheless/ My hair is brown, she’s scared to touch/ And she just wants to feel something/ And I don’t think that’s asking for too much/ And when I go to sleep is when she begins to weep” -She Lays Down

“So here we are, it’s quarter to 11/ We’re knocking round town/ Pushing in, in the bar, you can cry until 11, it’s a quarter of an hour/ And why stay if you hate it so much?/ You think you’re well cool/ You just write about sex and killing yourself and how you hardly ever went to school” -So Far (It’s Alright)

Leo-

“You used to have a face straight out of a magazine/ Now you just look like anyone/ I just had a change of heart/ I feel as though I was deceived/ I never found love in the city/ I just sat in self-pity and cried in the car/ Oh I just had a change of heart” -A Change Of Heart 

We can’t make love when you fly around me baby/ Pipe down, you’re no lover/ It’s failing cos’ you want it to/ Well, I thought it was love but I guess I must be dreaming/ 'Bout feeling something instead of you” -This Must Be My Dream

Virgo- 

“Cause I remember that I like you/ No matter what I found/ She said, "It’s nice to have your friends round/ We’re watching the television with no sound/ It’s just you and I tonight/ Why don’t you figure my heart out?” -Heart Out  

“There’s a change in pressure/ We’re never gonna lie to you/ My broken veins say that if my heart stops beating/ We’ll bleed the same way” -Pressure

Libra-

“And well, I think I’ve gone mad/ Isn’t that so sad?/ And what a shame you’ve lost a brain that you never had/ Oh, mum check the car - It can’t have gone far/ I must have left it on a train or lost in a bar/ It’s likely in a Sainsbury’s/ Flirting with the girls and waiting for me/ I jumped on a bus, declared my name/ And asked if anybody had seen my brain” -The Ballad Of Me And My Brain 

Scorpio-

“Lost our house/ Hold me close/ I stop by just to wash my clothes/ I know it’s me that’s supposed to love you/ And when I’m home you know I’ve got you/ Is there somebody who can watch you?”  -Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You

“I’m broken and bleeding, and begging for help/ And I’m asking you Jesus, show yourself/ I thought I’d met you once or twice but that was just because the dabs were nice and opening up my mind showing me consciousness is primary in the universe and I had a revelation/ I’ll be your child if you insist/ I mean, if it was you that made my body you probably shouldn’t have made me atheist/ I’m a lesbian kiss/ I’m an evangelist/ And "If you don’t wanna go to hell then, Miss, you better start selling this” -If I Believe You

Sagittarius-

“There’s so much skin to see/ A simple Epicurean Philosophy/ And you say I’m such a cliche/ I can’t see the difference in it either way/ And we left things to protect my mental health/ But you call me when you’re bored and you’re playing with yourself” -The Sound 

Capricorn- 

“You’re all I need/ According to your heart/ My place is not deliberate/ Feeling of your arms/ I don’t wanna be your friend/ I wanna kiss your neck”                    -Fallingforyou 

“I sat with you beside your bed and cried/ For things that I wish I’d said/ You still had your nails red/ And if I live past 72, I hope I’m half as cool as you”        -Nana

Aquarius-

“What’s the fun in doing what you’re told?/ I said “No!”/ “Oh give it a rest, I could persuade you”/ ‘I’m not your typical stoned eighteen year old/ Give me a night and I’ll make you” -Girls

Pisces-  

“I think I’ve lost a lot of my friends/ Through belief that i’m an instrument/ Well fuck me if you must then/ Treat me like an old friend/ I can’t exist in my own head/ So I insist on haunting your bed” -Haunt // Bed 

“I, I wanna marry you/ Said I, I adore you/ And that’s all I have to say, bye-bye/ And you opiate this hazy head of mine” -Medicine 

*I would recommend checking your moon and sun sign*