Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota

by James Wright

Over my head, I see the bronze butterfly
Asleep on the black trunk,
Blowing like a leaf in green shadow.
Down the ravine behind the empty house,
The cowbells follow one another
Into the distances of the afternoon.
To my right,
In a field of sunlight between two pines,
The droppings of last year’s horses
Blaze up into golden stones.
I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on.
A chicken hawk floats over, looking for home.
I have wasted my life.

Non riesco mai a godermi pienamente le cose, che siano le mie o quelle degli altri. Mi sento a disagio, con un peso sullo stomaco, non sono quel genere di persona che ama le feste e sa godersele.
Non ho mai capito perché ma papà dice che «nessuno conosce davvero come sei. non capiscono che tu non sei tipo da feste, da balli, da queste cose. tu sei come me» e mi son sentita meno sola.

anonymous asked:

Your art is so soft and pretty... the colors always give off this calm and quiet feeling. It makes me happy... ♡ But honestly, when I look at it the colors feel so soft and stuff !!

I’m gonna continue on my last ask I sent about the colors and looks of your art being soft. Another thing is, people say that when you draw, you put your soul into it, and yours must be beautiful. Apparently mine would be dark, all the time I mostly draw gore or sadness, and once in a while something cute. I want to draw more cute things but what you draw comes from your mood. I did draw a cute one recently. And things are looking up right now. So maybe my art will be less violent. Thank you,

I hope it’s okay if I answer this in one!

This message really made me smile, thank you so much, anon. That makes me really happy. 

What you said made me think quite a bit, actually. Because I notice, with a lot of my art, I try to emulate a softer and calmer/serene feeling with it, because it helps me feel good. It’s interesting because a lot of the time, I don’t feel calm or at peace or serene when I draw, and I channel the bad feelings sometimes into my art, but for example, when I’m trying to stave off panic attacks or breakdowns, drawing repetitive patterns or tiny details is a controlled release of distress. But I guess I do sometimes feel unsatisfied with my work because I am a fan of artwork that is dark and raw, open and unhinged. I sometimes feel a bit cowardly that I cannot make this kind of work myself. I think it’s a brave act, putting such raw personal pieces out there, and its very admirable in my eyes.

I think whatever you draw, if you feel anything from it, or get something out of it, is still really good. Art to so many people is an extension of themselves, the good and the bad they experience. I hope that your work will reflect good things in the future - you deserve only the best things to come your way, anon! 

Thank you for such a thought-provoking message!

Mi son svegliata con l'amaro in bocca, questa mattina. Mi sento sottosopra eppure non ho fatto chissà cosa. Ci sono delle volte in cui mi sento proprio messa da parte quando non vorrei, altre volte sono al centro di tutto quando non vorrei, capita sempre nel momento sbagliato.
Ecco, i momenti , quelli brutti hanno un peso a volte che proprio non riesco a sostenere, altre volte non riesco a sostenere nemmeno quelli belli. Insomma, sono un po’ una frana, ma io mi impegno eh, davvero.
Mi impegno sempre, o comunque quasi sempre, cerco di sopportare e supportarmi, ma capitano le eccezioni, le volte in cui mi lascio andare pur sapendo di avere ancora un po’ di forza, ma ti fai comunque abbandonare e cullare dai momenti, qualsiasi esse siano.