• Every time I go in a Target, I become invisible. People can’t hear me talking to them even when I’m standing right in front of them. Waving in their faces doesn’t seem to work.
• I once walked up to an entire group of red-vest-wearing employees and had all five of them walk away from me mid-question.
•They seem to migrate from the toy section to the food section like soulless jellyfish.
• They don’t know if Target sells dish soap.
• I don’t know if Target sells dish soap.
• Once, a person walked over, picked up a fuzzy throw-blanket out of my cart, and left with it while I stood there telling them that it was mine.
• The always weirdly crowded shoe section that’s mostly sandals.
• Last month I stopped in the mini Starbucks area of Target and stepped up to a surprisingly empty counter (for the middle of the day). No one appeared for the entire twenty minutes that I waited, but the lights went off and on a few times.
• I once saw a man entering Target with a screaming child over his shoulder. She had an ‘Out of Order’ sign in her hand, and kept repeating, ’I don’t want to go here.
• Their clothing sizes are darkest black magic.
• The changing rooms. (Before they vanished.)
• I lost four people in the middle of the furniture isle. I found them a half hour later in Hot Topic.
• I once stopped at a Target for a bathroom break during a long road-trip. When I entered the store, half the lights were off in the back section, and someone was yelling, “STOP IT, YOU GIANT BITCH!”
• There’s always a questionable swamp in the corner of the Target bathroom.
• When they switch all the moving/talking Halloween items over to the moving/talking Christmas items.
• I’ve seen eight different dogs wandering around by themselves.
• The local Target has birds flying around inside all the time.
• When I was a teenager there was this guy who drove around the Target parking lot blasting the chicken dance and dancing with his shoulders.
• I’ve seen a thousand mirrors break in Target during ‘move into your dorm room’ season. Doubt anybody buried a potato.
• They owe me $20
• I keep finding children in the clothing racks. (I don’t keep them.)
• You can never return anything, ever.
• If you eat their food you probably will never be able to return to the human world.
• Every picture I take in there comes out weird. Blurry, too bright, smudgy, wavy, too dark, weirdly green???
• That last checkout lane at the end with all the ‘as seen on Tv’ items and a million creepy jugs of green liquid for kids.
• I have 14 year-old socks from Target that look brand new. (My clothes typically develop holes the moment I look at them.)
• The animal heads.
• Pit of Death (aka: the far back corner where seasonal stuff goes to die.)
• I once kicked one of the giant red orbs outside and it moved.
• I watched a guy causally glide out of the loading doors and into the parking lot on a huge dolly.
• The ‘Is This Actually Only A Dollar Or Is It Five?’ section.
• I spent a half hour listening to a guy tell me why I needed an IPhone or I can’t be a part of human society. This was before the first iPhone was even for sale in the store.
• It’s bigger on the inside.
• I found this hideous lump of a fur hat for sale last winter, and wore it around the store my entire time there. Still invisible.
Summary: You and your boyfriend have just moved in together, calling for an immediate shopping trip to update your apartment.
A/N: This is an idea I got because I went to Target to get one thing and ended up spending like $200 on pretty stuff. Also, it kind of sucks, but it was a cute idea and I really wanted to write it.
As usual, shoutout to @hamilbye for reading this when it was halfway done for me and telling me it was an adorable idea.
Pairing: Lin x Reader
Warnings: All fluff, all the time (would I ever write anything else?)
Words: 2,381 (I can’t even try to keep my word count low. Sorry.)
car into a tight parking space had taken ten minutes. Finding the parking space
had taken half an hour. From where you sat, it almost wasn’t worth it. But then
you glanced at the smiling being sitting next to you in the car and grinned. Lin
was a toddler, already straining against his seat belt, trying to wrestle
himself out of the car and into the store.
You reacted immediately when he placed a hand on the door handle,
reaching your hand out to grab his wrist, your body leaning over the center
console. You laughed before growing stern, the look on his face just barely
contained the excitement.
The mountain goats at Olympic National Park in Washington have worn out their their welcome and park officials are moving ahead with plans to get rid of them.
On Monday the National Park Service released a mountain goat management plan, laying out three methods of dealing with the population, which park officials say not only is damaging the environment but is dangerous to people.
One method is killing the animals with shotguns or high-powered rifles. The other is relocating them. And the last option is a combination of the two.
That is the preferred plan but would likely take years, said Louise Johnson, the park’s chief of resources management.
Yixing: Holds “free hugs” signs at the mall and concerts, Listens to Never Shout Never and SayWeCanFly, uploads acoustic covers on youtube, Always has a stuffed animal in his selfies, will forever own a sidekick
Chanyeol: Lol I’m so random XD, religiously listens to Brokencyde and Dot Dot Curve, Believes he’s a vampire, randomly bites people, works at spencers while staring longingly at Hot Topic. Has a screamo band but hurt his throat so he just plays drums now.
Baekhyun: Dry humps friends in public so hard the chain on his jeans thrash against his thigh, every Blood On The Dance Floor and Millionaires song is his anthem, Moans in his friend’s ears, Mainly hangs out in the toy aisle of Target and mall parking lots. Posts pics of him and Chanyeol kissing every day
Kyungsoo: Orignal Emo, Listens to My Chemical Romance, AFI and Marilyn Manson, Most likely to become goth, Works at Hot Topic but complains about the lack of alternative merch, wears a real razor blade on a necklace, drinks his own blood to push away people who can’t handle it. Unfortunately, Chanyeol fell in love with him because of it.
Kai: Soft and sweet but moshes so hard he makes Kyungsoo proud, listens to Breath Carolina, Atilla, and Falling In Reverse. Spends most of his day in Hot Topic, so many rubber and Kandi bracelets, Goes to Warped Tour every year usually shirtless within five minutes of entering.
Sehun: Myspace famous, friends with Andy Biersack, listens to Sleeping With Sirens and Pierce The Veil, Also Youtube famous just for being cute, Hangs out with bands in their tour bus, has dyed his hair every color possible including rainbow. Dated Mellissa Marie Green from the Millionaires as well as Jayy Von Monroe from BOTDF just to start drama during a tour
Xiumin: In a screamo band more famous than Chanyeol’s, used to be xXxEmo_KittenxXx, listens to Bring Me The Horizon, Motionless In White, and Escape The Fate, Got in a bar fight with Danny Worsnop from Asking Alexandria and won.
Chen: Pop punk af, listens to All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, A Day To Remember and Green Day, Loiters outside of the movie theater, casually skateboards everywhere, Has empty cans of energy drinks all over his room, the lead singer of Chanyeol’s band,
Suho: Cried when My Chemical Romance broke up, listens to MCR, Flyleaf, and Hawthrone Heights. Barely goes to concerts due to getting proper Christian rock bands for his church’s youth services.
Summary: You are an assassin and your target is Park Jimin.
Trigger Warning: Some violence, death, violent sex
You exhaled deeply then rested your head back against the wall. It had been a long day and finally you could relax. You remained seated on the concrete floor with your knees bent to your chest and your cell phone held in front of you. You sat there in the dimly lit room. You typed few last words on in the text message with an image attached.
[You] Terminated *image sent*
[Unknown] Confirming… please wait.
This was the bit you hated the most. You hated the waiting and you hated how you needed to confirm your kill. Being patient wasn’t a key quality of yours. How could they possibly doubt you? However, you don’t blame them now since you failed your last big mission. It took you at least a month to admit that you failed. You tried to track him down again but he was nowhere to be seen after your encounter with him in Paris. It almost became an obsession for you. Every mission after that you ensured you completed the job without hesitation. The failed task made you into a killing machine. You tied all loose ends and ensured that your track was not easily found.